Title: Searching For You

Rating: T

Pairing: Leah/Demetri

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight. Nor do I own the song.

Summary: Everyone seems to have found their soulmate except for Leah. Not being able to take it anymore she leaves. Will she ever find her other half?

AN: I had to write this! I know it is a very odd pairing but I like the idea of Leah and Demetri. I was listening to Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield and I was struck with inspiration for this two-shot. It takes place a few years after Breaking Dawn. I hope that you all like it! Please R&R like always!

Here we are again, circles never end

How do I find the perfect fit

There's enough for everyone

But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

-- Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield

"What the hell are you thinking Clearwater? Your just going to up and leave? What about your responsibilities? Who is going to take care of your mother and Seth? What about your obligations to your pack?" I didn't even turn around to face my Alpha Jacob Black when he burst into my room. The door slammed into the wall from the force he had used. He was radiating anger, I could feel it in the air.

I continued to stuff my clothes into one of my dads old dufflebags. I should have known that Seth would tell Jacob that I was leaving. My kid brother was under the delusion that Jake could make me stay even if I didn't want to. I hated to be the one to burst his bubble, but there was nothing anyone could say or do to change my mind. This was my life and I could do with it as I pleased. I was tired of living by someone elses rules.

"What about my obligation to myself?" I said as I rounded on my Alpha. "I'm not happy here Jake."

With a shake of my head, I turned back to what I had been doing. I zipped up the over stuffed dufflebag before going to my closet and pulling out my shoe box filled with cash. It was once going to be my college fund but I had a better use for it now. I was going to leave Forks and La Push to start a new life somewhere. A life without Sam, without the blood suckers, and without the burden of being the only female wolf. Sure I would still be a shape shifter, atleast on my own I could live life the way that I wanted to. I wouldn't have to take orders anymore, I could be my own pack. I didn't need anyone else, I was doing fine on my own.

His anger seemed to lessen as he looked at me with sad eyes. "Leah, please don't leave. I know that your unhappy and lonely but if you stay I promise to make it better. We can spend more time together, Ness would understand. She had this great idea of setting you up with one of her friends. She assures me that he would be perfect for you."

I wanted to groan in fustration. How could I make him see? I know that he was only worried about me because he cared. We had been become close during the last few years. Maybe that was why I had stayed here for so long. I had been hanging onto the past. I didn't want to believe that the world was changing around me. I tried to be blind to it. I wanted things to stay the same. I did not like changes but I had to learn to accept them.

He had Nessie now, they were engaged to be married. He didn't need me in his life anymore. Nessie could be his bestfriend, he would probably like that alot. He did not need me hanging around on the side lines. I may not love him in a romantic sense but I did care about him. How could I not? He had done so much for me. He saved my life numerous times and always lended an ear if I needed to talk. With him engaged to the half leech, I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. He would start a family with her and there would be no time or room for me. No, it was better this way. Better to leave now before he ends up resenting me for always being around in his life. Better to leave before I became a burden to him or anyone else.

Stuffing the cash into my purse, I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want to be set up on a blind date with someone I don't even know."

Nessie seemed to think that she had become Cupid. It was her goal in life to find me a boyfriend. Why couldn't she just take up a normal hobby like sewing or collecting stamps? Why did she have to focus her beady little eyes on me? I was not going to be her next pet project. If she had better taste in men, maybe I wouldn't have been so against it. She did not have good taste, especially when it came to guys she thought would be perfect for me. She had tried to set me up with Mike Newton, or Mr. Grabby as I called him in my thoughts. That boy couldn't keep his hands to himself. I was not interested in a repeat performance.

"But you do know him Leah. Remember Nahuel? The other half human half vampire that came here with Alice and Jasper when the Volturi were hunting Nessie." Jacob sat on my bed as he spoke.

He had to be fucking kidding me! Nahuel? Why would he or the demon spawn think I would be interested in him? Nahuel had stayed with the Cullen's for a few weeks and in that short time I learned how much I did not like him. For one he was a parasite. Also, he was boring as hell. Don't get me wrong, he was smart and his body wasn't horrible to look at, but he did not know the meaning of fun. You couldn't even joke around him because he took everything seriously.

He was also way to polite. It made me want to gag when I thought of how goody goody he was. Always saying please and thank you. Always offering to help out. I had tried to get on his nerves one day, to see what it would take to make him crack. Wierd thing is, he just stood there and took it. He didn't say anything as I threw insults at him. He wouldn't fight back. What a pansy ass he was. He was worse that emotion controling leech, Jasper. There was no way that Nahuel could handle someone like me, I was way to much woman for him to handle. I would chew him up and spit him out. I would use his bones to floss my teeth.

"I'm not interested Jake. Can't you just trust me this once?" I looked around my room one last time, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything. Not that I had alot in the way of material things. I was only taking my clothes, money, cell phone, and a few pictures from the family album.

"It's not that I don't trust you Leah. It's just-" He stood up and moved so he was standing infront of me. He was a good foot taller than me and he had to look down at me as he spoke. "Your my Beta and my bestfriend. I don't want you to go."

Damn him for using those stupid puppy eyes on me. I could feel my resolve leaving me. I shook my head at him. "It's not about what you want. It's about what I want."

His eyes darkened instantly at my words. He growled at me before speaking. "Your being selfish Clearwater!"

Oh he did not just go there. I shoved him as hard as I could. Then I poked my pointer finger into his chest to puncuate each word spoken by me. "Me? I'm being selfish? How the hell did you come up with this cracked out theory? Tell me Black, how am I being selfish?"

My Alpha crossed his arms over his chest as he glared down at me. I wanted to knock that look right off of his face. "Your only thinking of yourself! You don't seem to care about what you leaving will do to everyone."

How dare he say something like that to me. Did he have no idea how much I didn't want to do this? I wasn't leaving because I wanted to, I was leaving because there was no other option for me. If I stayed here I would turn into a much more bitter harpy than I already was. I would die if I stayed here. They say that bitterness is like a cancer and guess what? They are right. My feelings, my memories, all of it was slowly consuming what was left of my soul. I had to get out while I had the chance.

"Yeah? Well you don't seem to care what staying will do to me!" I raised my voice to match the volume of his. My hands were on my hips as I shot him the meanest look I could muster.

He had the nerve to roll his fucking eyes at me. "It's not that bad Leah. I know your still hurt over Sa-"

"Shut the fuck up Black!" I screamed at him before he could finish what he was saying. I could feel myself shaking, wanting to phase but I fought against it. "You have no idea what my reasons for leaving are. Don't assume that you know me because you don't know a fucking thing!"

"Then explain it to me damnit!" He took the two steps it would take to reach me and grabbed my shoulders as he shook me. If I had been anybody else, I would have been scared shitless. But I wasn't everybody else and I would not be intimidated by him.

Finally I threw my hands up in fustration. "I can't do it anymore Jacob! Do you have any clue to how I feel? Do you know what it's like to sit and watch everyone around find there happy ending? I had to watch it happen first with Sam and Emily, then you and Nessie, and finally Seth and Embry. Seth has Angela and Embry has that girl in his calculus class. Hell, I even have to see the parasites live their happy little lives for eternity."

I couldn't do it anymore. Watching everyone get what they wanted when I was left in the dark all alone. I had to see Sam, the only man I had ever loved, marry my cousin. I had done the noble thing and attended that puke worthy ceremony. I didn't even get drunk like I had wanted to. Instead I had been the maid of honour. I had watched my cousin, my sister, Emily as she married Sam. I didn't cause a scene and trust me I had been tempted to. No, I had done right by her and Sam even if they didn't deserve it and had never done right by me. Wasn't that good enough? Why should I have to stick around and watch them play house?

Then I had watched as Jacob, the only member of the pack who could possibly understand how I felt, fall in love and get engaged to the hell spawn that was Renesmee. Only Jacob would imprint on the supposed love of his life's evil half parasite daughter. How would he explain that to his kids? 'Oh, I wanted to kill your mother before she was born. Why you ask? Well it is rather simple, I was in love with your grandmother Bella, but she chose the mind rapist over me. She got pregnant and was having the life sucked out of her by your mom. But she survived, and when I saw your mom for the first time, I became loves bitch.' Yes, that would be a great story to tell the kids. Who needed fairytales like Cinderella and Snow White when you had the living soap opera that was Bella's life.

Jacob and I had once had plans to run away together, and I don't mean that in a romantic way. Jake and I were only friends and that is all we ever would be. Even if Nessie had never been born, Jacob and I would only ever have been friends. We understood eachother in a way that no one else could. We bonded over our shared pain. We protected the other in any way that we could, atleast that is how it had been before creepy kid was born.

As soon as Jacob had set eyes on her, he became like the rest of them. He turned into loves bitch. He conviently forgot about the pain he had been in before. His love for Bella vanishing instantly. He had been sucked in by the imprinting gods. When that happened, he turned into a bumbling love struck fool. Gone was the Jacob who shared my pain. He couldn't understand how I felt, not now that he had his little hell spawn. (I mean that in the nicest way possible.)

Don't get me wrong, I was happy he was happy, yet a part of me hated him too. I hated him for leaving me to be the odd one out once again. To give him some credit, he had tried to include me in his new life. It was obvious from the start, that I would never fit into his picture perfect life. How could I? I was to damaged. How could I fit into a perfect world when I was the exact opposite of perfect? I was imperfect, tainted, and broken. I was the black cloud that covered the sun and bringing about darkness.

I didn't fit anywhere really. I was different than everyone else. I wasn't ment to be here. I had only stayed this long because of Jacob, my mother, and Seth. They didn't really need me anymore. Mom had become the new Mrs. Swan. I crinkle my nose at that thought. Charlie was a good guy I guess, she could have done worse. His only flaw that I could see, was his once human leech loving daughter. Other than that, he was decent enough. He could never replace my father but if he made my mom smile then I would grin and bear it. Plus, if I ever got arrested I could call in a favor from him. He was chief of police, therefore he had alot of pull around here.

Seth had imprinted on Angela, Bella's little book worm of a friend. She was a sweet girl and perfect for my brother. She was like the girl version of my brother. Only she was like Bill Gates smart and he could barely pass his classes. He had been doing better when she started tutoring him. I would miss my bratty, leech loving brother. He was in good hands though, so there was nothing for me to worry about. I knew he would be happy and that is what mattered. My only regret was that I wouldn't be here to see it happen. Maybe just maybe, I would come back for his wedding.

"So what? Your leaving because of that? Your running away?" I was snapped out of my thoughts when Jacob started speaking.

"It's not like that Black." I let out a long sigh and rubbed my face with my hands. "I need to leave so I can find myself. I don't know who I am anymore."

"That's easy enough to answer, your Leah Clearwater, the coolest, ass kicking, she wolf to ever exist." He shot me a lopsided grin. That was probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

Leaning my head against the wall behind me, I closed my eyes for a moment. "Is it really? Is that who I am or who I was forced to be?"

"Mind explaining that?" Alpha boy was giving me a confused look. I should have known he would not get it.

"Only if you think you can keep up. Ok, look at it like this, I was always someone else. First I was Sam's Leah. He was what defined me. Then I was your Leah. The Beta and bestfriend. I have always been someone elses Leah. I was never my own person. I need to find out who I am Jacob and I can't do that here." My tone had softened as I spoke.

"Let me come with you. I can help you find yourself Leah. You don't have to do this alone." His angry glare had been replaced with worry and sadness. He easily took me into his arms. He held me against his chest and rested his head on top of mine.

I could feel tears gathering in my eyes and pushed them back. I could never ask him to leave with me. He had a life here, a family. I wouldn't be the one to screw that up for him. I had already done more harm than good. Everyday I found knew ways to fuck things up. That's what I did. I was good at it. Infact, I should make a career out of it.

Back to the topic at hand. I may not like his freaky life sucking spawn from hell of a fiancee, but it was easy to see that he was her world and she was his. Even if he went with me, the imprint would win out eventually. I was only his friend, that's all he and I wanted to be. I didn't want to fuck up our friendship. If he left with me, he would eventually hate me like everyone else. Then he would run home to the minature leech and I wouldn't even have his friendship anymore. It was better if I left now, while our friendship was still going strong.

Pulling away from him, I grabbed my purse, dufflebag, and keys. "Yes, I do have to do this alone. What part of me finding myself did you not understand?"

His entire expression crumbled and then transformed into a look of pain and loss. That was how I felt everyday of my fucking life. "Will you ever come home?"

"This hasn't been my home for a long time. Maybe oneday I'll come back but it won't be for a very long time." I told him truthfully as I headed towards the door.

"I hope you find what your looking for Leah, really I do. Just remember that if you ever need me, all you have to do is call." He gave me one last hug as a couple tears fell down his cheeks. I don't think I had ever seen him cry before. If the situation was different, I would probably have laughed at the image of him crying. I mean have you seen him? He is huge, bigger than the big dumb vampire Emmett. I wanted to say something along the lines of 'big girls don't cry' but I knew he would just get pissed. I don't want our last conversation to become a screaming match.

I was almost out the door but I turned around to face him again. "Take care of Seth and mom for me ok?"

He nods in my direction. "You know I will." He paused, looking hesitant before he spoke agaiin. "I love you Lee, I hope you know that. I know it's not the kind of love that you want, but I do love you in a way. I just want you happy."

I did not bother telling him that I doubted I would ever be happy. Let him believe that I found happiness. Let him be happy with the lies. I had to get out of here and now. I was unable to deal with it all. I was tempted to stay, to let the demon spawn set me up on blind dates. I would not do that though. I had made up my mind and I was not going to back out of it just because my Alpha was trying to guilt trip me into staying.

"I know you do. I love you to Jake. You annoy the hell out of me, and you have horrible taste in women, but I still love you. Your the best Alpha I could have ever asked for. Take care of yourself Black." I offered a half smile that did not reach my eyes.

"You too Leah." His voice cracked as he spoke and ran his fingers threw his hair.

"Hey, don't start crying on me. Don't shed any tears, I'll be fine. You go live your happy ever after with Ness. Hopefully I can find mine." This was it, it was time for me to go. It was time for me to find out who I was. Who knows? Maybe I'll find my prince and live happily ever after. I doubt it would happen, still I had to try.

"Oh, I almost forgot, tell Sam I said to fuck off." I heard him chuckle as I left the house. World, here comes Leah Clearwater.

AN: So there was no Demetri in this chapter. He will be in the next one. This is a two shot, and I am writing the second part now. I know that Leah was very out of character but I had to write her that way for this chapter to work. I wanted it to be emotional and I think I did an alright job. What do you think?