Disclaimer: I do not own 'Young Justice' or 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol
'If I Just Lay here'
by Song Six
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Here I am lying.
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It's been a long day, and every part of Kid Flash's body was sore. Unfortunately, the day wasn't over quite yet. Today, he had to return to the cave even after capturing a couple baddies with the Flash. But that's the life of a superhero. There were always sacrifices. As soon as he entered the cave his eyes immediately went to the residential hacker typing up who knows what on his holographic computer. No one ever told him, but whenever Robin was around his face always seemed to light up no matter how tired or chafed he felt.
He languidly limped over to the couch dramatically, making sure to bump his legs against the Boy Wonder's knees, hoping to get his attention. It didn't work. He frowned when the younger teen made no movement to care for him, so as loudly as he could he moaned in mock agony, "Ugh, it's hurts so much." He shut his eyes closed, hoping to get a reaction, but when he peaked to see if it did anything Robin was still unmoving from his spot. Really?
Finally, he got up from his seat and plopped himself down right next to Robin on his couch sprawled about, taking up every free space of the cushions. From behind his sunglasses, Robin rolled his eyes at his best friend's crave for attention, it got really childish sometimes, "What's with you?" he asked with disinterest.
"Didn't have time to stretch before patrolling with the Flash. My whole body aches, Dude." Wally reached his arms up in demonstration, but he didn't expect it to actually hurt. As soon as he felt the tightness in his muscles, he pulled back immediately and hissed in pain. To his satisfaction, Robin finally started paying attention to him putting away whatever program he was working on. He took Wally's arms and begun massaging them and he was really good at it. Must be from all the times he ever pulled a muscle while doing the acrobat moves.
Wally hummed in pleasure from his best friend's touch. When his arm muscles were finally relaxed, Robin set them down gently at his sides and pointed a finger towards the halls, "Go to your room and lay down and rest," he commanded.
"No way that's boring!" Wally whined, huffing and crossing his arms. Robin shook his head and sat down next to the lying boy. He moved his hand towards his hair causing the speedster to hold his breath, but stopped himself midway through and pulled back. The speedster exhaled deeply and felt suddenly deflated. For some strange reason, Wally was oddly disappointed by this, and he didn't even know what Robin was about to do.
Robin took that hand and scratched behind his neck nervously, if it weren't for his hoodie, the pink on the skin of it would have been obvious. Didn't matter anyways, Wally still noticed and it strangely made him feel content, "You need to take a break KF, you look terrible…more so than usual," Robin joked, cackling, he regained his confidence. Wally rolled his eyes and gave the younger boy a swift punch to the arm.
"Thanks Dude."
"No problem!" Robin cackled, before he became serious again. Batman was rubbing off him a little too much sometimes, "Seriously though, you need to lie down."
Wally started to struggle and wiggle around, in other words being difficult, making Robin groan in irritation. He was considering shooting Kid Flash with a tranquilizer gun if it meant he'd stop all this moving about, "I already am!" he exclaimed, still making trouble for the Boy Wonder. At first, Robin was getting really annoyed by this, but soon he found himself laughing and wrestling with Wally battling to hold the other down in a great tickle match. Of course, in the end, he would win. Flexible legs came in handy sometimes…or all the time.
By the end they were heaving and red faced with goofy smiles. But somehow Robin still had the energy to grab a pillow and smash it over Kid Flash's head making him lay down again, "Alright, then stay here and don't move!"
"Fine!" Wally rolled his eyes again and complied, but when Robin got up to work elsewhere, a freckled hand gripped his arm. When he turned to yell at his best friend he gotten taken aback green eyes that glittered with plead. He hated when he did that…"Will you stay with me?"…because it always almost worked.
"I don't know, I have lots of work to do and Batman will–" Wally tugged his arm harder and Robin reluctantly gave in. "–ok. Come here." He lay down next to Wally on the couch, which wasn't so hard since his body was much smaller and the speedster's was quite lean. Once they got into a good position with Robin facing the television and his back to Wally's chest, the speedster took his arms and wrapped it around Robin's waist. It was strange, and quite frankly it felt fairly alien. Dick almost shoved Wally away from him, but…
…He didn't want to. Robin settled himself in and accepted it lying together with his best friend who held a secret smile across his mouth.
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Alone in my bed.
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"The results of this mission are unacceptable. Everything that could have gone wrong did. I would think after existing as a team for so long these kinds of things wouldn't happen anymore. It would appear, I was wrong. Being a hero means taking no breaks. Nothing should put a hindrance on your performance…" Batman turned his glare towards his own ward knowingly "…and I mean nothing." Even Superboy felt that coldness when the chill rolled by. Despite this, Robin didn't even bat an eyelash, not that you could tell with the domino mask, but he didn't even move. He knew he messed up and he knew Batman would be this way. Kid Flash thought it was unfair; just one look at the poor boy and you could tell he was exhausted.
When the Dark Knight finished scolding the team, he sent them away, except for… "Robin, I need to speak to you. Alone."…last time he said something like that he ripped Aqualad a new one. It wasn't pretty to eavesdrop on…not that Kid Flash disobeyed the orders of the Batman and listened in on it. How could he not? It wasn't every day Kaldur was the one to mess up. Just like then, he was going to listen in now. However, it seemed different this time.
From what he could see through the grate of the vent he hid in, Batman was most definitely pissed, and upset with his partner for being the one to let the team down on this mission, but it was like he had his own form of sympathy when he wasn't completely belittling the kid. For a moment, he thought the man was going to place a hand on Robin's shoulder, but he didn't. When he was finished letting him know what he thought he walked away to the zeta beams.
After he was sure the scary man was gone, Kid Flash opened the grate and fell through landing in front of Robin with a plop. His best friend simply smirked as if he knew he was there the whole time. He probably did. But accompanying that smirk were dark circles and droopy lids. Batman may have not lashed it all out, but Robin still looked like he could use some serious shut-eye.
"Dude, you gonna be ok?" Wally asked, scrambling to his feet when Robin started to walk towards his room. He followed behind, the cape hitting against his legs.
"I'm fine." The boy insisted, stifling a yawn like it would do any good.
Wally stopped the boy in his tracks taking him by the shoulders, "Rob, you look like death."
"Feel like it too," Robin told him, slapping away his hands. He wasn't really in the mood to deal with this, even if his best friend was just trying to show he cared. He'd rather go get some paperwork done than mope over the fact he was dying and Bruce was being a jerk. Yep, he'd rather go file some biographies on the latest villains.
Wally studied the Boy Wonder for a second before realizing what was the problem, "Insomnia? I thought you were over that," he commented, making Robin stop on his own.
He turned around to face the other teen hands on his hips, "Didn't want to take the sleeping pills anymore, I think it was affecting my performance." Wally rolled his eyes at him and walked towards him. Funny, as Wally got closer he looked more and more blurry, which was weird. Suddenly, the room was becoming a blur as well. His whole body started to shake, and each step felt heavier than the last.
"Getting no sleep will affect your flips and sh–" that was when the boy's whole body just stopped working, falling to the ground, luckily Wally caught him in mid-fall " –oot. Hey, Rob?"
"Sorry Wally, I'm…just…so…tir–" he tried to explain, but he couldn't get any more words out.
Wally tried to lift him up with his arms under Robin's pits, "Do you have the medicine on you?" he asked, feeling around for any bottle shaped bumps. He should have known Bats knew how to tuck everything away in all the Kevlar. There was no point in feeling about; good thing the young teen was too fatigue to even feel awkward about all the touches.
"But…training later…" he whined, lips barely making any movement. They have lost most of their color, "…or mission."
"Don't care. Take one, now. Even if we did have a mission there's no way you could go in this condition." Robin pointed to the bottle on his outer right pouches; Wally popped it open and took a few pills out. Gingerly, he opened the boy's mouth then slipped them in which Robin swallowed. The older teen then laid him out on the ground, lifted him up bridal style, and carried him to his room. When they arrived, he set him down on the bed and the soft cool sheets felt so nice against his body. He didn't realize how satisfying it was to be able to lie down.
But he was still worried about Bruce, "Can't let Batman down again," Robin mumbled as Wally climbed in next to him. Uniforms and all. Kid didn't know how to properly care for someone and change them. But it probably would have been really awkward had he done more than he already had anyways.
"Pretty sure he'd rather see you healthy than falling asleep in the arms of a baddie," the speedster told him, and Robin complied happily snuggling up to the warmth. His whole body shivered from exhaustion, and the heat from his friend just felt really delightful, "C'mere."
Finally, when he was just about to fall into a deep sleep he muttered into Wally's chest, "Pretty sure he'd rather see me asleep in the arms of a baddie than yours."
"Really funny Rob," the speedster chuckled, simply happy to see his best friend get some rest.
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Waiting for your Arms.
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Robin was working on his R-Cycle in the garage. Earlier he had the company of Conner and Mr. Rolli Ball, but Conner finished before he did changing the oil. Then again, Robin was doing more than just that, he was trying to attach a new set of rocket blasters he had been building on his free time: had to do something in between studying for Mathletes and being a superhero. As he was just about to reach for a wrench, he stopped when he heard the familiar patter of swift feet go across the stone floor. He slid out from beneath his R-cycle to greet his best friend, but he was surprised to meet such a solemn face.
"Wally, what's wrong?" Robin asked, quickly getting up and walking towards him. The speedster wouldn't meet eyes with the boy, something was most definitely wrong.
He scratched his arm and very quietly told him, "Fight with Dad." Wally was never one for voicing his problems, but with Dick he always could. The chatterbox of a best friend always knew what to say or to just talk it out with him.
"Again? It's only been a week." Robin narrowed his brow, he didn't like Rudolph West. The man sounded like trouble from the way Wally described him, but that could be just bias.
Wally shrugged his shoulders and started heading towards his room. He wanted to just lie down and rest. Robin knew to follow him. "Yeah, well he was being a jerk to my mom again so…yeah." Was all he really said.
"Sorry man…"
"It's alright."
When they get to his room, Wally slumped down on the mattress and Robin joined him. This wouldn't be the first time they laid in bed together, and they were best friends so it couldn't possibly be too weird right? Besides, he kind of liked it, though he'd never admit it. "Come here," Robin told him and Wally moves without any fuss. He cuddled up to Robin and let the smaller boy hold him. It still felt awkward, he figured it always would most likely, but he needed this right now.
Robin wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew with Wally you had to wait for him to talk. Eventually he would. "Am I a loser?"
The younger teen frowned at him, "Of course not." He meant it.
Wally sighed loudly before cuddling just a tad closer, "My Dad thinks so. He always says I fail him, and that I'm ungrateful."
"Well he's wrong. You're the Kid Flash, fastest teenager alive. How are you a loser?" the other teen challenged with disbelief a parent could ever say that. Not even Bruce could ever be that cold hearted. Ollie was kind of screw ball, but according to Roy he was never really that much of a jerk, although he never said that to just anybody. The point was, he really didn't like Wally's father now.
"Because I do screw up a lot." There was a crack in his voice, and Robin had to fight the urge to run his fingers in his hair. As a child, it was what his mother used to do all the time whenever he got upset.
"Everyone does. Even Batman has his moments. The other day he accidentally tripped over a can of shark repellent." He was only half lying, technically it was himwho tripped, but he'd never tell anyone that. Not even Wally, he can't let people think the whole Boy Blunder thing was true.
That perked the speedster up a bit, "Really?"
"Ask Alfred, he can vouch." He smiled evilly, good thing he removed all of Bruce's secret cameras.
For a second Wally cheered up, but he was back in distraught again when he started to think about the events prior to now again, "But he's right, I am ungrateful. I never go see Mom anymore." He sounded so deflated. Finally, Robin just thought to himself 'screw it' and pale fingers stroked red locks. It did indeed sooth the other teen a bit; it also brought a nice feeling to Robin as well. He didn't know what it was.
"But you love her right?" he asked in a half whisper
Wally laid there for a moment before quietly replying, "Yeah."
"My mom used to say that's all she ever needed from me. I'm pretty sure that's all your mom wants too." Robin continued to slide his fingers through Wally's hair, and the red head even inched a bit more into his hold. It felt…
"Guess you're right."…right.
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To cradle my head.
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It was April 1st.
Kid Flash was running faster than he ever had before. With every step, he pushed the ground behind him leaving a trail of dust. His head was pounding as well as his heart. Blurs of colors were flying past him. "Where is he?" he demanded to know with clear urgency. As soon as he reached the group of teens settled in the kitchen, he stopped dead in his tracks without so much of stumble in his step or a struggle in his breath.
It wasn't just any old sunny day in the summer.
"Where's who, Wally?" Miss Martian asked with concern. His eyes darted everywhere searching. She reached out to comfort him, but he pulled away. It was strange to see Kid Flash reject Megan's offer of kindness, normally he would eat up any attention from her, especially since she and Superboy were steady now.
"Where's Robin?" Megan, Artemis, and Conner all sat there curiously, but it was Kaldur that saw the apprehension in his look, so he would question no further what was going on. This was obviously something between only best friends.
"In his room–" he answered, but before he could finish Kid Flash ran off without saying anything more.
It was the anniversary of a tragic accident. An accident that would change one little boy's life.
"Rob?" the door slid open with ease. He looked around in the dark searching for any movement. As soon as he saw the slight jerk in the sheets of the bed, he rushed over immediately and lay beside the smaller boy. "It's okay, I'm right here." Dick only nodded slightly in response looking up with sorrowful blue eyes. Droplets wanted to fall, but he wouldn't let them. Wally frowned down at him and took him into his arms holding him tightly running his fingers in dark hair.
Today was the day Mary and John Grayson past away.
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You made a promise.
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Robin was busy tinkering with a new bat gadget trying to fit it into his utility belt when he came in. He had a shiner and a cracked bleeding lip. There were other small bruises forming on his hands. The life in his eyes was gone, and they were a dull green with heavy bags. He looked exhausted and upset. The problem with this image was that it was not Kid Flash – it was Wally West. Something awful must have happened.
"Hey KF…" Wally simply walked up to him wordlessly, almost limping. He wasn't too injured to be sent to an infirmary, but too much to be walking around. When he was up close to the boy he could smell the stench of alcohol from his clothing, but he was one hundred percent sure his friend wasn't drunk "…Kid?" Worry was etched into every part of his voice; he was really scared for Wally right now.
Wally stood there with a grimace across his face. His mouth was in a firm line, and his good eye looked down at him with a lost expression, "Wally, what's wrong?" For a moment, the speedster reached out and almost took his shoulders, but quickly he pulled away and almost collapsed over him. Luckily, the younger teen caught him and placed him in the bed using all the force he could. From what he could tell, he appeared fatigue as if he had been up all night. It also appeared as though he had been in a fight, and if the teen hadn't been drinking someone must have splashed it at him. But who?
When he finally maneuvered Wally's body into a comfortable position he couldn't move away, as he was stuck beneath him. Good job, Grayson. But he didn't try to struggle, because the poor guy was already beaten enough. So, he settled in for a long ride despite how awkward it was for them to lay like this, but it was ok since they were best friends and this kind of thing has happened before. When time had passed and his legs had begun to start to fizzle as they fell asleep Wally finally spoke up. It was hard to hear, but he knew what he said:
"My dad left."
"I'm here," was all Dick responded with as he held his best friend in his time of need.
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Whispered in my ear,
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"He was too young; this shouldn't have to happen to any kid. This isn't fair!" Dick shouted, throwing his Escrima sticks to the ground and slamming a fist into the wall of the cave. Unfortunately, it had no effect on the structure, but it did leave his knuckles bloody and raw. He didn't care though. When Bruce called and told him what happened he regret ever changing from red and black to blue and black. He regret ever letting anyone else call themselves Robin. Richard Grayson became Batman's partner because he lost his parents. While that poor little boy lost his parents because he was Batman's partner. It was all wrong.
"Dick, it's going to be ok." Wally attempted to comfort, but all Dick did was slap away his gloved hand refusing to listen. The only thought running through his mind was hopping on his motorcycle and driving to the batcave to drag that kid out of there. Maybe Deathstroke was right, kids shouldn't be wearing costumes.
Dick threw his body onto the couch glaring at his abandoned gadgets on the floor, "No it isn't! I should have never let him become Robin…never." He heaved crossing his arms defiantly. He knew he was throwing a tantrum, but he was pissed at Batman. Not only was this his fault, but it was Bruce's fault too. It had to be.
"Tim's a strong kid, he'll push through," Wally tried to reassure, placing an arm around his shoulders. The muscles of his back went stiff at his action, so he removed it and settled for lying behind Dick, almost spooning him. The proximity of their bodies made his face heat up. He really wanted to be there for his best friend, but for some reason as he got older these sorts of actions seemed to feel different. He wasn't sure quite yet if it felt wrong or right.
Dick didn't notice, he had more things on his mind to worry about, "No one should ever have to push through. It's like what Bruce said! 'No one should ever have to deal with losing their parents.' No one," he said this with great malice as he thought about his own mom and dad. Someone had to pay, but who? Him? Batman? Someone had to pay for Tim. He guessed it should be him; he was the one who let the kid go play hero. He was the one who refused to return as Robin. He was the one who put stupid ideas into Tim's head. It was all his–
"It's not your fault Dick." Wally had cupped his chin in his hand and turned his body to face him. Bright eyes looked into his with determination. Blue ones didn't want to meet them and admit he was right, but he had to. There was no fighting those green eyes.
"That's what they all say," he muttered immaturely breaking their stare down. Wally simply shook his head and nervously but quickly pulled Dick closer. Now the other boy was fully aware of how close their bodies were.
Wally's lips were right by his ears, his warm breath causing them to heat up with a pink tint, "Blaming yourself won't bring anyone back. You have to keep living." Dick nodded his head listening sincerely trying hard to concentrate. Why was Wally breathing so heavily, and why was this even bothering Dick so much?
With a deep breath, he focused his mind and remembered what he had learned over the phone no longer than an hour ago, and suddenly he was angry all over again. "Why? When everyone we care about dies?" It was true, being a part of the Team, the Justice League, or being a hero in general came with such dire consequences. Even if it was events such as this that created heroes in the first place he wished it never had to be this way. At this moment, he did anyway.
Wally closed his eyes trying to think of something he could say. He's never had to lose someone before aside his father, but Rudolph was still alive. "It's because they're dead you have to, for them, and for the people we save every day who can't fend for themselves." Finally, Dick's body completely eased and Wally smiled, happy to see his best friend a little better.
However, there was still that lingering sadness on his mind, "But I know how it feels. He shouldn't have to feel how I do. It's not fair…" Dick breathed quietly, and it killed Wally inside knowing there was nothing he could do.
"I'm here, ok?" It was all he could say, but to Dick it was all he needed to.
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A comforting voice.
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He sat at the edge of his bed fidgeting with his red goggles in his hands with all the lights turned off. He had been sitting there for a while just messing with the headgear. Maybe if he just waited there, time would stop and he'd never have to know the 'after' part of this whole event. However, Wally didn't have to look deep inside himself to know the plain, bare, naked truth: Aunt Iris was gone.
He dipped his head down to the carpet floor trying to will away the urge to punch a wall, trash the room, and scream out. He never thought losing someone would be so agonizing, especially when they meant so much to you. Aunt Iris wasn't just any old relative you only saw on the holidays and dreaded to. She was his lighthouse, always leading him the way when the world was conjuring a storm. She was Uncle Barry's too. The way she'd scold them for staying out too late even if they were saving the world. The way she'd stay up all night patiently anyways, with hot chocolate and pie ready for when they came back. The way she loved him unconditionally without needing the promise of being anyone other than himself, and the way she gave Uncle Barry a chance of loving someone at all, while wearing the mask.
So this was what it was like, losing a person you held dearly, because you were saving someone else. Suddenly, he didn't want to be Kid Flash anymore.
"You're gonna need to change out eventually." The weight of the bed shifted slightly when a smaller body sat down. It was Dick, and he had already changed out of his tie and suit hours ago just as everybody else did. Wally remained in his; he didn't want to believe the service was over. If he did, that would mean everyone was done being sad over Aunt Iris, and everyone would slowly return to their lives and forget. He didn't want to forget her. Just one funeral wasn't enough no matter how extravagant or beautiful it was, nothing would be good enough.
"Why do we even do this anymore?" he asked in a harsh whisper, dropping the goggles to the floor letting them flop over lamely before laying down on his side burying his face in a pillow. He didn't care if the tuxedo got wrinkled, even if there was no one to iron it straight anymore. What was the point anyways?
Dick stared at the goggles for a full second before picking them up gingerly and laying down next to Wally, his face to the other's neck. He clutched the headgear to his chest dearly with one hand and rubbed gentle circles into Wally's back humming a sad little tune his mother taught him.
"We're heroes Wally, it's a part of the job description," he sighed in between lines of the song. The speedster's back shivered as he started to sniffle. His eyes were already swollen red, and his lips hurt from being chapped, but hot tears were still pouring out. It was as if it would never end. He never thought he'd ever cry in front of his team. He guessed it took losing the first person who ever believed in him to leave for him to do something so embarrassing.
"To lose the people we love, because we have to save the god damn day?" Wally bit out angrily coughing in between inhales, "If I weren't here…if Barry wasn't the Flash…Aunt Iris, she'd still be alive…" Dick set the goggles down in front of Wally before hesitantly wrapping one arm around the other boy and running his fingers through red hair with the other. Wally's whole body tensed for a moment, but quickly relaxed into his touch. The younger teen sighed in relief when Wally didn't even put up a fight.
"Remember what you said to me a long time ago? You're not just living for yourself. You have to live for them, because they can't anymore. You have to live to save the people who can't fend for themselves. Just like Aunt Iris," Dick echoed remembering that day, when Wally had to remind him why they were still running around playing vigilante.
Wally huddled his body closer into a fetal position as his coughing became more violent between each cry, "I need her…" he sobbed. It broke Dick's heart.
"I know…" Dick whispered, pulling the older boy closer lightly laying his mouth on the back of his neck murmuring"…I'm right here."
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Fingers in my hair.
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Nightwing paced back and forth, pulling at his black hair, seething. He was confused and angry. Worst of all, he was lost. What was going to happen now? He didn't know. He wasn't prepared for this kind of thing to happen. He knew it would happen someday, but why today? And why did it have to happen this way? What could have gone so wrong? How could a covert mission go from disbanding that clown's plans to stopping an all out slaughter? The real question was: why did Aqualad have to be a hero?
"How could this happen? Why did this happen?" Dick hissed, never ceasing his pacing. It happened in a sequence he should have seen coming. The pattern was clear, the way the whole room was laid out. Joker was a sick man, only he would come up with such a terrible contraption. It was an abandoned meat packaging factory, what better place than to build a human rat trap? The worse part of it all was that he was the cheese and their beloved leader was the mouse. If he didn't get himself captured, than Aqualad would be in one piece standing here, not in a hundred in various body bags.
He stopped moving and collapsed down on the couch burying his face in his hands. The image, it would be impossible to forget. The blood, the cries, the flying pieces– "Oh god…" he shook his head and shut his eyes as hard as he could trying to ward away the vivid pictures in his head. But the smell, the screaming, everything was as clear as day in his head. He just wanted to make it go away. While at the same time, a heavy guilt rested on his shoulders weighing his body down causing a painful ache in the arch of his back.
"We're going to be alright," said an unsteady voice, but it was easy to tell he wasn't so sure himself. Dick couldn't even bear to look anyone in the eye right now. He felt like this was his fault and that he was unfit to lead the team of the man who sacrificed his life so he could survive. This was too much responsibility for one person. He wasn't ready to act like an adult, he was still just a kid.
"How am I going to be alright? How is anything ever going to be alright again?" he asked defeatedly. A pair of yellow covered arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him down into familiar warmth he always knew. It was a slightly awkward position that they laid in on the couch. Their legs were a tangled mess, and the dark haired boy was beginning to reach the other's size. Somehow, though, they still felt just right.
Wally buried his face into dark hair, breathing in slowly taking in the scent of sweat and iron, "This team might fall apart if you don't get it together…" he murmured, rubbing light circles into Dick's shoulder blades. The other on top of him still would not ease, but it was no surprise. This wasn't easy, rarely anything was in their lives.
"How do you think I feel? I'm not ready to lead this team, Wally! Kaldur was…" Dick lamented, his voice died down from frustration into sorrow at the sudden realization that yanked at his heart–"…I'm gonna miss him." –his friend is dead. Even Wally froze for a moment when he had that epiphany as well. This wasn't just anyone, this was their friend they have grown up with since even before the team.
And he was gone. "M-Me too." They lay silently for a while as Wally continued to rub small circles soothing both him and the other boy. A million thoughts went through their heads. All of them with nothing to do with how the team without their admirable leader would be, but how life would be…
"Thing's won't be the same will it?"…without Kaldur; without him yelling at them to behave; without him reading those weird books insisting they try it out over comics; without him totally beating their butts in Marco Polo or swimming races; without him completely failing at videogames; without him building them up with a confidence and strength that no one saw better than he did. If this was how it felt to lose a good friend, what would happen if you lost your best friend? Hopefully, that day would never come.
Wally shook his head and held the now crying boy closer, "I'm right here. Don't worry." His eyes were glittering with that despair Wally never got used to seeing, and as horrible as it sounded the blue in his irises would always look so…
"Wally?" …beautiful. Taking his chances, he kissed the top of the younger teen's head affectionately. Immediately, Dick's forehead heated up, as well as Wally's cheeks. Before either had a chance to say anything, Wally took the boy's head and pushed it against his chest, and he continued to cry and mourn their lost loved one.
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Said no matter what.
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"Sure fits weird, huh?" he commented, looking himself up and down in the mirror, but not really seeing anything he liked. Red spandex hugged his body revealing every muscle, including ones he wasn't even aware existed. The worse part was that it looked good. It made him feel funny knowing that, and it made him feel worse just wearing the damned thing. This wasn't right, this isn't how it was all supposed to be. Green eyes continued to glare at his image, wishing it would go away.
However, blue eyes followed each curve and ripple admirably as if he couldn't turn away even if he wanted to. Of course, he didn't want to. "I think it fits perfectly," the other boy voiced with awe in his tone.
"Not really what I wanted to hear," Wally muttered bitterly, pulling at the fabric. Truthfully, it had a nicer fit than the old suit. The boots were just a little heavier, and the mask was more annoying to wear than his special goggles. But it actually felt more comfortable to wear. That's not what he wanted.
"Why not?" Dick questioned curiously, as he sat on the bed kicking his legs back and forth. Wally shook his head before looking away and slipping off the cowl. The younger teen cocked an eyebrow before launching himself off the mattress in a quick swoop towards him. He wasn't a little boy anymore, not quite a full grown man, but the guy still managed to move in such a fluid child like motion. Lithe arms reached around from behind the speedster taking the mask holding it up to his face in the mirror, "I like it."
He was standing so close, close enough to touch. Wally managed to keep his composure, but he still hadn't figured out how to fight that rising blush on the back of his neck. He shook his head rapidly and cleared his throat, "This isn't me, this is him," he explained, moving away from the other boy. A bile bubbled up in his throat, and he felt sick. This was happening fast, even for his taste.
Dick could see the look in those eyes; they were never hard to read. "Well, you're Flash now. You gotta accept it." He murmured gently crossing his arms; he didn't know what else he could say. Was there really anything that could make this situation any better? He didn't even know what he would do himself if it were Bruce.
Wally clutched his stomach as he bent over leaning on the post of his bed. He needed to puke, "I can't, I'm not ready." His voice was weak. Whenever Dick heard his voice get that way it shattered him on the inside, especially when there wasn't anything that could be done.
He uncrossed his arms, and set the cowl onto the table letting it sit lonesome on its own. Eyes half lidded, and lips pursed he sat on the bed pulling Wally into his hold. The speedster let him take him in, his head lying in Dick's lap, and they settled into a comfy spot before pale calloused fingers started stroking short red hair. "Sure you are, Wally, you've always been," Dick cooed insistently, the other leaning into his touch.
Laying together with his best friend always seemed to make his heart race, but it always put his mind to rest as well. With each movement, Wally started to feel the tension leave his body, and a familiar sadness he always hated started to creep in. His voice was strained, "He always knew what to do though. He could break the speed of light. He didn't have as many problems as I do when I use my powers. He actually had confidence. People actually believed in him–"
Dick placed a finger over his mouth shushing him, "I believe in you, and so did he." He told him firmly, but it's not enough to take away the growing ache that was starting to really seep in. Too bad he didn't believe magic was real, he could use some to take this feeling away. He was tired of it.
"I need him here. I can't do this without him," he confessed, the tension returning to his legs making him want to kick, and the sickness was back making him want to yell out.
"Who says you need the old Flash to be a great hero?" Dick challenged, confident his best friend would be the best speedster in the whole wide world. Then again, he always thought that, even when they were just little boys. But there was something different in Wally's eyes, something he completely missed and wished he realized before what was hurting him...
"I don't need Flash…" That look, he knew it very well. He's seen it so many times, even in Bruce's eyes. It had nothing to do with living up to a legacy… "I need Uncle Barry." …it had everything to do with losing your family.
"Wally…" he held the older teen closer and tighter as if both their lives depended on it. That was when Wally's body started to jerk violently as it all spilled out in cries and hiccups.
"I need him so bad. I-I don't have anyone left now. I need him…" he cried into Dick's chest like he's done so many times "…he was my hero. I thought he'd never leave me, but he did. Everyone is leaving me," he was so tired of this feeling, of losing somebody you love because it was all a part of the 'business'. He was tired of feeling as if he lost his whole world. When would it be over? When would he stop losing the people he held so dearly?
"Wally…" Dick started, nuzzling his face against the other boy's neck. When did this become so natural? It didn't really matter, all that did was that it felt right and helped soothed the crying boy. With determination and as softly as he could he swore, "…I'll never leave you. No matter what." He squeezed the speedster's shoulders comfortingly. He never wanted to abandon him. He understood the feeling. In fact, now that his best friend was entering the big leagues the chances of him dying were even worse. Dick's own chest ached at the idea; it was something he always feared and would now more than ever.
"Never?" Wally asked unsurely looking up pleadingly, scared for it to not be true.
Dick tightened his hold, "I'll always be here." His voice sounded sincere and sure. Wally nodded his head accepting this. He knew someday he was going to keep losing everything and everyone, but if he still had his best friend he would always be O.K.
The warmth of the other's body and the blankets started to envelope him. His breathing calmed down to a gentle purr. Before Dick even realized it, Wally is asleep in his arms. When he was sure the boy was asleep, he couldn't help himself. Bending down as discreetly as he could, he pressed his mouth against Wally's quickly and softly. For a moment, he thought he felt lips push back, but it could have just been his imagination.
.
"I'll always be here."
.
Carefully and soundlessly, he climbed the metal ladder that wrapped around the side of the tattered brick apartment building. He did his best to make sure not to slip, since he was a bit of a klutz. There was a fresh dew of rain covering everything around him creating a slippery mess. How befitting on this night it would rain, but it was Gotham.
When he reached the floor he needed, he made his way to the rusted window and did his best to jimmy open the shut entrance. Breaking and entering wasn't really his thing, normally he could just pop in through the front, but the door was locked and this wasn't a crime scene. He was merely meeting somebody in their place, and he was sure they would not appreciate a broken knob. Once he finally made it inside, he collapsed on the soft bed sinking into the mattress. Now all he had to do was wait.
The sky begun to fade from a smoky grey to a dark blue as the few stars they could see started to appear. Neon lights flashed on, and the glow within various homes went out. The moon was full and white shining down into the room. All of this, he did not notice. He just continued to lay there staring up at the ceiling patiently.
The ceiling was that bumpy popcorn texture, with shadows tracing the different various curves and jagged lines. A bright blue light from an alarm clock was illuminating the room giving each outline and corner a similar hue. The darkness of the night filled up the rest. The air was cold, and the wind was whistling against the window. He didn't feel like turning on the heater, as the chill did nothing to his body. He just sprawled his legs and arms across the cool sheets of the bed feeling absolutely nothing. His skin was numb, and his cheeks were pale. His jaw was at ease, and un-moving.
But he wasn't lifeless.
Green eyes shone brightly as he waited with hope in his heart; for those fingers to run through his hair; for a light breath to blow into his ear; for warm arms to wrap around his shoulders rubbing small circles letting him know it was going to be okay. He was going to keep waiting, and he wasn't going to give up anytime soon. He refused to believe this was happening. If he just laid here waiting, he would come. He had to, he promised. Hours would have passed, and his body would grow tired, but he didn't care how long he had to stay up. If he closed his eyes, it'd all be over.
This was the deal. If both of them made it through the Crisis, they would meet here, in this spot, on this day, at this time. But where was he? What was taking so long? Even Bruce once said that Nightwing was better than Batman. He never admitted that kind of thing unless it was true. It had to be true, because if he made it through then shouldn't have he? He was one of the strongest people he grew up knowing, there was no way he wasn't coming. Of all the superheroes to prevail in the end, Nightwing was a given just like Superman or Wonder Woman – even as Robin he was.
He listened carefully for the rattle of the metal railings, or even the patter on wooden floors. He begged for the creak of the door or the hush of a breath. It never came. He didn't really understand what people meant when they said silence could be so loud: he did now.
There was a bobbing in his eyes, and a sting in his nostrils as they flared intensely, "please…" two fists clenched into soft blankets in frustration as a ringing entered his head, and an awful ache entered his heart, "…I never even got to say goodbye…" a whimper escaped his throat, and his chest constricted in pain. When it was clear he was waiting for nothing, he curled up into a huddle, hugging his knees, shamelessly sobbing.
"You said you'd be here…"
.
But you were lying.
.
Author's Note: Alrighty, please read the following!
1. First off, thankyou for reading. Please review and let me know your thoughts and if you have any questions/comments. I always do my best to reply and I love talking with people! Plus, it let's me know if you DO enjoy it when I write angst (or whatever genre I'm writing) or oneshots in general so I it'll signify I should do more in the future. Otherwise, if I don't hear back it let's me know to stick with other subjects or story types. All reviews and comments help!
2. THANKYOU to TheWickedWizardofOZ for helping me with fixing the draft of my story! Check out their page for more KFxRob stories they rock!