(Phoebe walks into the Café and sits down next to Joey.)
P- hey Joey.
J- hey..
P- what's with the really happy face! (sarcastically said.)
J- Oh nothing
P- tell me.I wanna know.
J- it's nothin
P- Oh, stop being a whoos!
J- it's just that, he moved out and I'm really heart broken. There's no one for me and I don't like it.
P- I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Your gay!
J- No!!!
P- It's Ok Joey. It's really ok.
(Phoebe edges away from Joey.
P- so who's the unlucky guy.
J- I'm not gay! It's Chandler.
P- you're gay with Chandler! But he's gonna marry Monica. You should tell her.
J- God Phoebe! I'm not gay with anyone, it's just that when Chandler left, the spirit of the house is gone.
P- you know.I did hear Rachel tell me there were things breaking in your house.
J- I'm not gay!!
(Joey leaves)
P- He's in denial.
(Rachel comes in)
R- you know something.
P- I don't know anything. And everything should be left to be found out eventually.
R- Phoebe. I didn't finish.
P- Oh.sorry.
R- you know my boss, he's such a lazy asshole.
P- I knew you were sleeping with your boss.
R- No!!
P- then how'd you see his asshole.
R- Phoebe!
(walks out with a cup of coffee.)
P- my friends are all in denial.
(At the apartment)
Ro- do you know where Rachel is?
R- Right over here.
Ro-hi
R- hi Ross. You ok?
Ro- yeah sure.
Ro- you going anywhere tonight?
R- are you asking me out?
Ro- oh c'mon! I'm not that desperate to date a rebound girl.
R- I'm not on the rebound.
Ro- Denial Rachel won't help at all! So when do you get fired?
R- what did Phoebe have a psychic transferring thing connecting to you.
Ro- No, your boss called up and said he didn't like it.
R- He didn't!
Ro- I knew it!
R- no no no! This is for my idea as a project.
Ro- Sure.
(Exits to the bathroom.)
(America)
C- don't you just love our pre wedding honeymoon.
M- I really do. It's really great sitting here in a tent, in front of a cabin.
C- Oh c'mon Monica. It's nice if you think about it.
M- yeah when I think about my nice apartment.
C- you got to get used to it.
M- that's it Chandler. I'm packing my bags. I'm going back home.
C- ok let's go.
M- I'm getting married to him. Gee what am I thinking?
C- I heard that.
M- Oh really. So that means god must have heard that too!
(At the apartment)
Ro- isn't it sad that no one remembers you?
R- what are you talking about?
Ro- you know. On this special occasion of yours?
R- huh?
Ro- oh c'mon! Stop pretending. Your birthday!
R- Ross my birthday's finished already.
Ro- doesn't lie. I got the proof.
(he goes into a bedroom, picks up a diary and shows it to Rachel.)
R- Ross, that's Monica's diary.
Ro- then why does it have your name on it?
R- Ross look at the top of the diary! It says TO MONICA! And at the bottom it says FROM RACHEL!
Ro- I knew that! So you're not the one who dreamt about me?
R- What? No! Oh my god! Give me that diary! You've been reading it haven't you?
Ro- Fine! Here!
(Ross exits)
R- I'll just put it back in her drawers.after I read it! (three hours later Monica and Chandler walk in)
M- Hey Rachel!
R- oh hi!
C- Hey Rachel!
R- hi. Can you believe this?
M- What?
R- you thought Joey was hot!
M- how do you.hey! You're reading my diary!
C- you thought Joey was hot?
M- it was a figure of speech.
R- Oh yeah. And so were his eyes and his glistening smile.
M- you had no right to read my diary! Traitor!
C- you though he had a good smile?
M- it was two years ago.
R- Actually two weeks before you proposed to her. I'll keep my mouth shut now!
M- Good idea! This is so utterly wrong. I go away for one day and my diary is already read! How'd you find it? I kept it where you wouldn't look! In my underwear drawer.
R- Ross! That pervert! He found your diary! (she laughs) He's got the hots for you Monica!
C- you thought Joey was cute?
M- What? It was a long time ago and shut up Rachel! It feels like a long time ago anyways!
R- Oh not to mention, you dreamt about Ross. (she laughs)
C- you dreamt of him?
M- As I said. Long time ago. Couldn't even measure in light years.
R- actually you could. Three weeks!
C-I'm marrying a woman who has the hots for two of my friends! (he faints!)
M- Chandler!
(he wakes up a bit)
C- did you have sex with him in your dream.
M- Yeahh.it was grea.I mean terrible.
(he faints again)
M- I'll never forgive you.
R- I'm really sorry. Really. (she laughs) You had sex with Ross!
(In the streets)
P-Hey Ross!
Ro-hey!
P-you know Joey is gay?
Ro- really?
P- but he's in denial. Don't talk to him about it. Oh my god! Here he comes now! Hi Joey!
Ro- Hi Joey! That was said in a non-gay way. I'm not attracted to you or anything I was just saying hi. You know in a manly way. (He punches Joey in a manly way) Hey I didn't mean to touch you. It was in manly and non-gay way. It's cool right. Not cool cool! Not in a gay way but like its cool and.
P-Shut up Ross! He means non-gay as in he's not happy.
Ro- yeah that's what I mean. Ok I have to go now.
P- me too
J- Hey.I'm not Gay! (everyone in the streets stare at him) What!!
P- hey Joey.
J- hey..
P- what's with the really happy face! (sarcastically said.)
J- Oh nothing
P- tell me.I wanna know.
J- it's nothin
P- Oh, stop being a whoos!
J- it's just that, he moved out and I'm really heart broken. There's no one for me and I don't like it.
P- I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Your gay!
J- No!!!
P- It's Ok Joey. It's really ok.
(Phoebe edges away from Joey.
P- so who's the unlucky guy.
J- I'm not gay! It's Chandler.
P- you're gay with Chandler! But he's gonna marry Monica. You should tell her.
J- God Phoebe! I'm not gay with anyone, it's just that when Chandler left, the spirit of the house is gone.
P- you know.I did hear Rachel tell me there were things breaking in your house.
J- I'm not gay!!
(Joey leaves)
P- He's in denial.
(Rachel comes in)
R- you know something.
P- I don't know anything. And everything should be left to be found out eventually.
R- Phoebe. I didn't finish.
P- Oh.sorry.
R- you know my boss, he's such a lazy asshole.
P- I knew you were sleeping with your boss.
R- No!!
P- then how'd you see his asshole.
R- Phoebe!
(walks out with a cup of coffee.)
P- my friends are all in denial.
(At the apartment)
Ro- do you know where Rachel is?
R- Right over here.
Ro-hi
R- hi Ross. You ok?
Ro- yeah sure.
Ro- you going anywhere tonight?
R- are you asking me out?
Ro- oh c'mon! I'm not that desperate to date a rebound girl.
R- I'm not on the rebound.
Ro- Denial Rachel won't help at all! So when do you get fired?
R- what did Phoebe have a psychic transferring thing connecting to you.
Ro- No, your boss called up and said he didn't like it.
R- He didn't!
Ro- I knew it!
R- no no no! This is for my idea as a project.
Ro- Sure.
(Exits to the bathroom.)
(America)
C- don't you just love our pre wedding honeymoon.
M- I really do. It's really great sitting here in a tent, in front of a cabin.
C- Oh c'mon Monica. It's nice if you think about it.
M- yeah when I think about my nice apartment.
C- you got to get used to it.
M- that's it Chandler. I'm packing my bags. I'm going back home.
C- ok let's go.
M- I'm getting married to him. Gee what am I thinking?
C- I heard that.
M- Oh really. So that means god must have heard that too!
(At the apartment)
Ro- isn't it sad that no one remembers you?
R- what are you talking about?
Ro- you know. On this special occasion of yours?
R- huh?
Ro- oh c'mon! Stop pretending. Your birthday!
R- Ross my birthday's finished already.
Ro- doesn't lie. I got the proof.
(he goes into a bedroom, picks up a diary and shows it to Rachel.)
R- Ross, that's Monica's diary.
Ro- then why does it have your name on it?
R- Ross look at the top of the diary! It says TO MONICA! And at the bottom it says FROM RACHEL!
Ro- I knew that! So you're not the one who dreamt about me?
R- What? No! Oh my god! Give me that diary! You've been reading it haven't you?
Ro- Fine! Here!
(Ross exits)
R- I'll just put it back in her drawers.after I read it! (three hours later Monica and Chandler walk in)
M- Hey Rachel!
R- oh hi!
C- Hey Rachel!
R- hi. Can you believe this?
M- What?
R- you thought Joey was hot!
M- how do you.hey! You're reading my diary!
C- you thought Joey was hot?
M- it was a figure of speech.
R- Oh yeah. And so were his eyes and his glistening smile.
M- you had no right to read my diary! Traitor!
C- you though he had a good smile?
M- it was two years ago.
R- Actually two weeks before you proposed to her. I'll keep my mouth shut now!
M- Good idea! This is so utterly wrong. I go away for one day and my diary is already read! How'd you find it? I kept it where you wouldn't look! In my underwear drawer.
R- Ross! That pervert! He found your diary! (she laughs) He's got the hots for you Monica!
C- you thought Joey was cute?
M- What? It was a long time ago and shut up Rachel! It feels like a long time ago anyways!
R- Oh not to mention, you dreamt about Ross. (she laughs)
C- you dreamt of him?
M- As I said. Long time ago. Couldn't even measure in light years.
R- actually you could. Three weeks!
C-I'm marrying a woman who has the hots for two of my friends! (he faints!)
M- Chandler!
(he wakes up a bit)
C- did you have sex with him in your dream.
M- Yeahh.it was grea.I mean terrible.
(he faints again)
M- I'll never forgive you.
R- I'm really sorry. Really. (she laughs) You had sex with Ross!
(In the streets)
P-Hey Ross!
Ro-hey!
P-you know Joey is gay?
Ro- really?
P- but he's in denial. Don't talk to him about it. Oh my god! Here he comes now! Hi Joey!
Ro- Hi Joey! That was said in a non-gay way. I'm not attracted to you or anything I was just saying hi. You know in a manly way. (He punches Joey in a manly way) Hey I didn't mean to touch you. It was in manly and non-gay way. It's cool right. Not cool cool! Not in a gay way but like its cool and.
P-Shut up Ross! He means non-gay as in he's not happy.
Ro- yeah that's what I mean. Ok I have to go now.
P- me too
J- Hey.I'm not Gay! (everyone in the streets stare at him) What!!