Chapter 1

I wake to the warm summer sun shining on my face, coming in threw the from the bay window in my room. For once I am left alone, privacy comes so rarely these days, I learn to cherish every ounce I am rewarded. The wind blows the trees leaves gently in it's breeze. I stretch, flexing my tense bones, and then relax. I have to get up soon but I don't wish to. I don't want to see the decorations being set up, the maids and servants scurrying around cleaning. I don't want to see my mother fussing over my appearance or my father's prideful smile. But most of all I don't want to see my fiancee, James. Yesterday we fought, about the wedding, I want to move it back. I am not ready to get married, to commit myself to James forever. He didn't take the news very well. It's wasn't always like this, when we were courting, he was every girl's dream. Charming, kind, spontaneous. But after he proposed he became distant and cold. I told mother this and she told me that it was nothing and that all men can act like this. Do I want this the rest of my life?

Knocking interrupts my musings.

"Isa, time to get up! It's beautiful today."

A wide smile spreads across my face. Abigail.

Abigail opens my door and enters, smiling a toothy grin. I have known her my whole life, she's been a maid with as since I can remember. She basically raised me. She walks over to my window and yanks the curtains the rest of the way open. Blinding Virginian sun envelops the room. The white sun makes a high contrast on her coffee skin. Enhancing all of her age lines but you'd never know her age if it wasn't for those lines. She is so strong, I hope one day I may have her courage.

"Get up, get up! Lots to do today!"

I slide out of my warm bed as she gets my clothing for today. She pulls a red gown from the hanger and an underskirt with the girth of a table. I hate this. I have to dress to the nines every day now. Abigail sees my frown and comes over to me and pulls my cheeks upward. She understands my grief.

"Now Miss Isa, you have a lot to be thankful for. A big ol' house, your daddy's cotton fortune and your family. A lot of people have nothin' these days and you gots to appreciate what you got. Soon you gonna have a big house to run yourself, a husband, and before you know it, you gonna have some chitlands as well. You one of the lucky ones, Miss Isa."

Lucky? Does no one see that I am trapped? Trapped into a marriage of convenience.

"I know, Gail. I know. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed as of late."

I jump off the bed and reach for the skirt. I pull it on over my chemise and Abigail starts to lace up my corset. She does it gently, not like the other maids, who make my breath leave me. As she ties the laces, I look out my window. I see the beautiful gardens of my youth and yearn for the same freedom I had then.

"Did you hear, darling? Miss Janet cannot come to the ball this weekend! I cannot believe she would cancel at last minute! That woman, I had her pegged from the start, she never looks you in the eye. There is something not right with a person who cannot look into another's eye."

"Mama, she's partially blind."

"Not a thing! It is a kinship for her not to grace us with her presence."

I sigh. Once something gets into Mama's head, it tends to never leave. I take in my view at the dinning room table. The breakfast set is the finest silver and the table has a meal fit for 10 people instead of three. Daddy's at the head of the table, reading the newspaper. He wears a suit, even though it's ninety degrees outside, his hair and mustache perfectly groomed. I tried to remember a time when I haven't seen him in a suit. I can't remember. Mamma is inspecting her eggs, looking for some out of odds, so she can chastise the servants. She is groomed perfectly as always, hair tied in an elegant knot on top of her head, not a wrinkle to be seen on her dress. I used to think she was the most beautiful women in the world but my perspective is shifting but not because of her outward appearance. There are two maids and one servant in the room now. One is refilling daddy's cup and the other serving mamma more fruit. The servant is standing impossibly straight and still, awaiting order.

"Are you excited for the ball Isabella?" Mama asks.

I turn toward her and her eyes are as bright as the stars. Gleaming at the thought of her daughter's engagement being announced to a room full of strangers.

"Yes Mama, I can't wait."

"It should be quite a night, everyone in their brother is coming! I simply cannot wait, such a clever idea your cousin came up with, a masquerade ball! Cindy Gora was telling me yesterday her store is sold out of masks! This is going to be a huge celebration but just a hint of what's to come. Your wedding with be the talk of the century! I wonder if we could bump the..."

I need to leave. Now.

"Daddy, may I be excused, please?"

My father looks up at me from the paper. He's not a man of many words but he means well enough. He looks to my mother's agitated face and then back to me.

"Yes, Belle. Go ahead."

I scurry out of the room before the argument starts but I can't help but hear the start.

"I wish you wouldn't do that Charles. And please stop with that name! We named her Isabella not Belle and..."

When I am outside finally, I head toward the gardens. Belle. Daddy's called me that since I can remember. He would tell me I was his southern belle. My mother hates it when he calls me that. She also hates it when Gail calls me Isa. She is the only one who does calls me that, just like I'm the only one to call her Gail. It's our private secret.

I sit down on one of the benches under an old willow tree. The air is fresh today, the breeze cool enough to chase the heat away. I lean my head against the tree and finally find some peace. This has always been my happy place, my sanctuary. There is something about these old trees that give me hope.

But my peace is short-lived.

I hear footsteps coming from the path leading to the garden. I don't look up, until I see black shoes on the ground in front of me.

"Good morning, Isabella."

James.

I look up into his clear, blue eyes. His blond hair perfectly buzzed, also in a suit. He has soot on his face, so he must have been down with the soldiers. He goes down and volunteers. He is too much of a coward to join the war but they are teaching him how to fight in case they suddenly need extra help. Sometimes I almost wish he would join. In instantly scold myself for wishing him that.

"Good morning, James." I smile up at him. The smile is fake but he doesn't take notice.

He sits next to me on the bench.

"I hope you are in better spirits today. I was hoping we could go into town today and have lunch." He picks up my hand and kisses it. I want to pull away but this is the nicest be has been in a long while. I see a movement in the corner of my eye, mother. She must have seen James approach and is watching us from the porch.

"That sounds nice. I just need to grab my coat."

"Good, I will talk to your mother as I wait."

As I walk back toward the house, I frown. I hate town, I much prefer the country. It is much quieter. Well, until the soldiers took up residence not but 5 miles from here. Now I hear gun shots and loud noises as I try to sleep. I see mama and James talking. I don't want to face the world, I want to go back into my garden. I go inside and grab my sweater. I kiss my mother goodbye and as we walk away, I hear a single gun shot in the distance.