WHISPER
Catch me as I fall,
Say you're here and it's all over now,
Speaking to the atmosphere,
No one's here and I fall into myself,
This truth drives me into madness,
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away,
You're laughing. I can see it but I can't feel it. Do you really find that funny? Do you even know what I'm saying? Or are you to busy watch Ryo? You like him. I know you're always watching him. You're supposed to be my best friend but do you ever listen to what I say? Guess I should just shut up. Your notlistening, no one is. You seem to be sitting beside me but your minds not there, so your not really here at all are you?
Don't turn away,
Don't give into the pain,
Don't try to hide,
Though they're screaming your name,
Don't close your eyes,
God knows what lies behind them,
Don't turn out the light,
Never sleep never die,
I don't know to do. You'll never notice me will you?
Cye comes out to tell us its lunch time. We enter the house to eat. You disappear after. In my room I try to decide what I have to do to get you to notice me, to feel the same way for me that I do for you. Then I hear a shout of joy. It comes from Ryo's room. Silently I padded to his room. His door is open. My surprise shows on my face.
I'm frightened by what I see,
But somehow I know that there's much more to come,
Immobilized by my fear,
And soon to be blinded by tears,
I can stop the pain if will it all away,
You're kissing him. I can practically hear my heart brake. I smile and give encouragement. Pretend to be happy for you. I try to, honestly. But I'm a bastard. I'm selfish. I want you for myself, I want to be the one to touch you, kiss you, make love to you. But I'm not. And I never will now will I?
Don't turn away,
Don't give into the pain,
Don't try to hide,
Though they're screaming your name,
Don't close your eyes,
God knows what lies behind them,
Don't turn out the light,
Never sleep never die,
It's night now. You're not in our room anymore. You're with Ryo. I can hear you though the walls. I wonder what I did to make the gods and goddesses hate me so much, for them to make my life so miserable. Tears trace trails down my cheeks. I bite my lip and decide what I'm going to do.
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes lying next to me I fear
She beckons me shall I give in,
Upon my end shall I begin,
Forsaking all I've fallen far I rise to meet my end,
Everybody's asleep. I'm surprised to find Cye sleeping on the couch. But I pass him and go to the kitchen. Opening a draw I pick out a steak knife. I lie the blade against my wrist. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I push down. Sharp pain.When I open my eyes I panic. There's so much blood. I shove my wrist under the tap and turn it on. Watching my blood run down the sink I wonder if I made the right choice. To late now though. I'm tired, weak. I can't stand up any more. I slide down to the floor, my forehead resting on the cupboard underneath the sink. Unconsciousness takes me.
The song is Whisper by Evanscence.