Ianto inhaled sharply as he opened his eyes. After the incident with Lisa, he had found himself trying to make things up to the other members of the team. This included staying late, trying to pick up bits of their work here and there, and of course, trying to stay out of everyone's way simultaneously. No one had spoken about the night with Lisa after it had occurred, but Ianto knew that there was no way anyone had come close to forgiving and forgetting. In fact, hardly anyone had spoken to him since.
He sat up slowly, looking around himself in the dim lighting at the paperwork he had been attempting to finish before passing out on the couch in the center of the hub. It was the third night in the past two weeks he had spent on the couch, and someone was bound to notice the lack of change in his clothes sooner or later. None of them however, would express any concern for him. Well, none of them except for Jack, perhaps.
Jack had a habit of always having to say something. Though most likely always intended as humor, Ianto saw Jack's quips at him as some sort of penance, paying him back for having betrayed the others. If that was true, Ianto was paying a lot of penance. Despite this, though, Jack had yet to notice Ianto's overnight stays.
"Ianto?" Ianto jumped as his name was whispered through the dark.
"Jack? I was just getting ready to leave, I stayed late." Ianto whispered, searching blindly for his suit coat.
"Stayed Late? Ianto It is 4:00 am. You're usually in around 6:00."
"I had a lot of work to get done. I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
Jack shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "No, I was awake." He moved to sit on the couch. "Ianto, what's going on?"
Ianto ran a hand through his hair, making an attempt at looking anywhere except at his boss. "Nothing's going on, I'm sorry. I guess I just fell asleep on the couch. Like I said, I was working late. I had lots of things to get done."
Jack picked up one of the papers that lay on the couch next to him and studied it in the dim light from the computers. "Ianto, these are papers from U.N.I.T."
"So?"
"So that is work that I am supposed to be doing. I was saving it for tomorrow. Why are you worrying about filling these out?" He stopped and looked at the computer screen. "And that is Tosh's work." He turned his gaze from the screen to Ianto. "What's going on, Ianto?" His tone was not harsh or demeaning. He spoke in a low whisper as though he still feared awaking someone, despite the fact that the two were the only ones there. He simply sounded inquisitive.
Ianto sighed and looked down at his shoes. "I've just been trying to pick up a little extra work around here."
"Ianto, if you're feeling like you need a little more pay, you should've just come talk to me. We could figure something out. Putting in hours until 4:00 in the morning is only going to make work more stressful." Jack was confused.
"It isn't about the pay," Ianto mumbled.
"What?"
"I said it isn't about the pay, Jack. I don't care about the money. I live alone in a relatively cheap apartment with everything I need. I don't need more pay. I'm not one to overspend, I don't go out to the pub with my friends, seeing as I don't have any. It isn't about that at all." Ianto had gotten upset at the notion that he was too materialistic.
Jack was a bit taken aback. "Okay, okay, what is it about then?"
"I have betrayed the trust of literally everyone on this team, sir, you especially, seeing as you were the one who trusted me enough to hire me on. The four of you are all I have; I have my sister, but she hardly wants me around. Even if the four of you aren't close to me, you're all I have. My parents are dead, my girlfriend is dead, and I've never had friends. I guess when I have hurt the only people in my life, I want to try to fix it. I know that no one here really cares about me, but I care about all of you, and if my head had been a bit clearer before, maybe I would've known better than to bring Lisa here." Ianto's face was stoic, but Jack could sense the pain he was covering.
"Oh, Ianto." Jack started. "What got you thinking that no one cares about you?"
Ianto scoffed. "Well that part's a bit obvious. No one's bothered to so much as ask me about my day here, let alone try to engage in any sort of conversation."
"Ianto," Jack started again. He could feel Ianto's pain. Jack placed his hand on top of one of Ianto's. "Listen, I am sorry that anyone ever gave you the idea that you were alone, but trust me when I say that you are not. If Tosh and Gwen and Owen don't care about you, then they are all stupid, but Ianto, I will always care about you. Why do you think I hired you on? It wasn't just because I saw the potential you had for this team. It was also because from the moment I met you, even though I was hesitant to let you in Torchwood, I could see you for what you are. You're a kind person, your heart has so much room for everyone, but you're hurting. I am so sorry that you have been hurt." Ianto looked up at him.
"Why?" he asked, quietly.
"Why? Because you are an amazing person. I have met millions of people, I have seen lives from birth until death, but Ianto, I have never met anyone who deserves second chances as much as you. I have never met anyone who deserves to be loved as much as you. I'd never met anyone who gives me butterflies. I have seen so much. I have seen all the bad that the world has to offer, but the idea of you gives me butterflies." Jack let the remainder of his breath out in a cool exhale.
"Jack."
Jack leaned in and placed his forehead against Ianto's. "I have been alive for a long time, Ianto. If I have never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do, doesn't that mean you are special?"
"Do you have butterflies right now, Jack?"
"Yeah."
"Me too."
Ianto tipped his chin down a bit and rested his lips on Jack's. His heart pounded loudly against his chest and he imagined the whole world could hear it, but would not know from where it came. Jack's hand came softly up to their cheeks, his other hand still rested gently against Ianto's. Jack had encountered lust and passion many times in his life; probably more times than he should have, but when it came to Ianto, he felt he could only be gentle in everything he did. Ianto deserved kindness, not quickness.
As their lips touched, Ianto thought. He had finally opened up to someone, but what was he doing? He was kissing his boss at 4:00 in the morning on the couch. Things had changed rapidly in the last twenty minutes and he suddenly felt uncomfortable. However, when he felt Jack's hand laid gently on his cheek, he realized that the mild absurdity of the situation did not matter. Everything felt oddly correct. It was as if every moment in his life prior to this one had been leading them together for just this moment.
Jack pulled away. "You don't have to worry about working on everyone else's work, Ianto. You should get some sleep, though." He smiled, standing and slowly trailing his hand off from Ianto's, both of them showing slight signs of hesitancy. "Take a couple hours, okay?"
"Okay."
Jack walked off. He was mainly content, but he had a slight bit of uneasiness. Ianto made him feel how he never had before. He was full of butterflies, and for once it was something that he couldn't escape.