"Shit."
Natsu had never cried so hard. His eyes stung from the tears. His nose burned from him constantly wiping it with the sleeve of his jacket. His throat ached from his sobbing. Hell, his entire body hurt and quivered with his weeping.
Earlier that day had been the funeral. Even though he had been encircled by others, he still felt lonesome. He had had a sense of abandonment weighing down on him since the day Igneel left, never to return again.
And since that day, the people Natsu loved kept disappearing.
Zeref had been the last of those Natsu held dear, and now he was gone too. He was dead. His dark eyes would never open again. His soft smile would no longer be there to ease his younger brother's nerves. His soft laughter would no longer echo after Natsu's own.
Zeref was gone. And Natsu didn't know how to deal with that fact.
He had tried turning to alcohol in the past days. He remembered Cana telling him about how it washed reality away. And he knew that she was right. Her passing two years ago was proof of alcohol's power to provide release.
So after the funeral, Natsu had gone home, changed out of his stiff suit, and stuffed all of the alcohol in the Dragneel house into his backpack. There wasn't much, considering that neither Natsu nor Zeref were regular drinkers. After the house had been successfully raided of its drinks, Natsu got on his bike, and sped to the only place he wanted to be.
The hillside that he had been resting on for hours was special to many, but Natsu was the only one left to remember the significance that it held in the lives of those who once called it 'fairy tail.' The hillside had become a regular meeting place for Natsu and his friends when they were no older than six. The children's name for it had spawned after Levy turned Gray's humiliating spelling mistake into a phrase that promised an eternal adventure. The landscape provided a perfect atmosphere for the group to pretend that they were casting magical spells and slaying mythical beasts from another world. The hillside remained a regular hangout spot for them until they were starting to enter their twenties. It wasn't uncommon to find the group there on Friday and Saturday nights, circling their camp chairs around a fire and diving into a rambunctious conversation.
But things had changed. Natsu's friends had slipped away one by one. And the sight that once brought him incredible joy now brought him only grief.
He wasn't quite sure why he brought himself here. Maybe he subconsciously thought that the hillside would make him feel like he was in the presence of his friends again. And then maybe he wouldn't feel so alone.
But the familiar landscape didn't comfort him. It only made his head hurt more as it brought to mind memories that Natsu had been trying to forget. He wanted to leave, but he knew he couldn't drive his bike with his pounding headache. So instead, he focused on the only place that wouldn't resurface times past.
He had always had an unexplainable fascination with the night sky. The stars were numberless, and when viewed from his vantage point, they were clustered together so closely that some of them appeared to overlap. Natsu still sometimes found it hard to believe that each star was lightyears away from both Earth and its celestial companions.
A streaking light brought Natsu out of his thought process. He had never believed in the rumored capability of shooting stars granting wishes. But the alcohol and his complete loss of drive brought him to utter his next words.
"P-please," he sobbed. "I d-don't want," he paused to sniffle, "I don't want t-to be alone a-anymore."
Although not clearly expressed, his wish was heard.
"Natsu Dragneel, your desire has been perceived and archived. A commissioner will now be entrusted with fulfilling your request."
"I swear that I will strive to serve the people of Earth with utmost care and dedication."
Lucy couldn't help but grin at the giant smile that graced the celestial king's face after Loke's pledge.
It had been an exciting day for all of the celestial realm. With the former Leo's passing, a new minister of the constellation had to be chosen. Lucy had been elated when her longtime companion had been picked. Not only did it mean that she got to visit the Sun Colony for the ceremony, but it also meant that one of her most trusted friends would be the head of the most powerful constellation in the Zodiac Ministry.
"Congratulations, Loke," she bowed to her friend as he found her in the post-ceremony celebration. Commissioners from every constellation were rejoicing for the new Leo. Lucy could even spot a few other Zodiac ministers amongst the joyous crowd.
"Thank you, princess" the orange-haired male's golden armor clinked as he bowed to her. "I believe that the time has come for you to begin addressing me as Leo," he spoke, with a smirk on his face. "As the new minister of the most influential constellation in our realm, I could effortlessly have you punished for not granting me the proper respect," he teased.
"Oh Loke," she made sure to put emphasis on his name, "given our history, I find it very difficult to believe that you would allow any form of torment to fall upon me, whether temperate or severe."
Before she could continue pestering her friend, Lucy felt a soft tug at the hem of her white dress. She glanced down to see Plue, her personal Nikora spirit with Aquarius' key held in its hands. Her mood immediately dampened when she saw that the key was glowing.
"Well," Loke stated, "it appears your minister is in need of your assistance."
"Yes," Lucy said sadly. "Although I want nothing more than to remain here and celebrate your advancement, I must return to my ministry and fulfill my calling. I have already been away for far too long."
"Never mind me, Lucy," the new minister said smoothly. "You can accompany me at a later time to do some merrymaking on our own. Just the two of us."
The blonde let out a sigh at his implications. "I will visit you soon, Leo," she said as she leaned down to grab the key from her spirit's quivering hands.
The lion-like man sent her off with a kiss to the back of her right hand, before turning to disappear into the crowd, no doubt on his way to search for Aries. Despite his constant flirting with almost every female in the realm, Loke had only ever been truly infatuated with the pink haired girl. And now that he was Leo, he could speak with the girl more informally due to their equal standing. Lucy wished them the best.
"Well, Plue," she sighed, "there is no need to delay our return to our ministry any longer." As she pushed her magic into the key and light began gathering around her, she felt the small spirit grab onto her dress once again.
When the brilliant light faded, Lucy found herself back in her assigned ministry, and face to face with a very annoyed Aquarius.
"Are you aware," her minister started, "that the purpose of the key is to inform you that you have a duty to fulfill as one of my commissioners? It cannot fulfill its function when left with your Nikora."
"I…I am aware of that minister," Lucy said timidly, in fear of being punished. "But," she bowed her head and clenched her hands in her dress, "I thought it would be best not to risk causing a disruption during the ceremony."
Her minister scoffed, "This time, I will let your disobedience to the rules of our ministry pass. But only because I am in a fair mood given that a momentous occasion has taken place today."
Lucy was surprised. It wasn't often that Aquarius passed on an opportunity to scold her.
"Thank you, Aquarius," the blonde bowed her head once again.
"You have been entrusted with a new wish. Crux will provide a lacrima and enlighten you on the particulars."
Lucy grinned. It was time to fulfill her duties.
It hadn't taken long to get the small spherical lacrima from Crux, but after hearing the basics of this wish, she was in a rush to get back to her quarters and examine the information on it. Plue was sprinting to keep up with her fast pace.
It wasn't often that she got assigned to requests from someone as old as Natsu Dragneel. She was mainly tasked with fulfilling the desires of small children, most often those under the age of ten. She knew what his wish was already, Crux had told her that Natsu didn't want to be alone anymore. Lucy already had possible solutions running through her head. She could easily make him cross paths with someone that would be a great companion for him. Or she could manipulate those he already knew to draw closer to him. But Lucy wanted to take her time with this wish. It was rare to her, and she wanted to find the best solution.
When she finally reached her room, she sat at her desk and placed both of her hands on the lacrima. It would show her all of the memories from Natsu's life that were relevant to his wish. By knowing about his past, she hoped that she would be able to find out what type of person Natsu needed.
She pushed her magic into the lacrima, and calmed her mind as images started to appear.
She saw a young boy, no older than ten. He had wild pink hair, and dark eyes that shone brighter than the night sky.
A man, with equally as wild red hair, kneeled in front of him. Lucy guessed that this was the boy's father. Behind the man stood a teenage boy, with black hair that almost reached his shoulders.
Her attention was drawn back to the man as he began to speak.
"Natsu," he said solemnly. So the young boy was Natsu? "I want you to have this." He wrapped a white scarf around the boy's neck. The material reminded Lucy of Draco's scales.
"But…" the boy started in disbelief, "this is your favorite scarf dad."
The man let out a soft chuckle before pulling his son against his chest.
Natsu's expression showed his confusion. The boy was unsure of why his father was acting so different today. He left them to go to work every day, so why was Igneel acting like this time he was leaving for good?
The red-haired man stood, and turned to the older boy. They held each other's gaze for far longer than Lucy deemed usual. Something unsaid seemed to be passed between the two.
Igneel didn't even look back as he walked out the door.
Natsu waited for his dad to come home for weeks, rarely taking the white scarf from his shoulders. But Igneel never returned.
In flash, Lucy found herself in a new memory. She easily recognized Natsu, but he looked to be at least sixteen now. His pink hair was still wild, and his father's scarf was wrapped around his neck. He was talking to a girl with scarlet red hair.
"W-what?" Natsu's voice was quivering. "How could Lisanna be…there's no way that she's...she can't be dead!"
The girl's face was pained as she replied, "It happened late last night. Elfman…he fell asleep while driving. The car ran into the barrier on the right side of the road. Lisanna was seated in the passenger seat…and she was killed upon impact."
Natsu's knees gave out, and he fell into the embrace of the girl in front of him.
Through glimpses at memories of the next months, Lucy learned that Elfman and Mirajane, Lisanna's siblings, moved away after the accident. Remaining in Magnolia brought them too much pain.
Each of the following memories included Natsu's friends leaving him in some form. Lucy saw an eighteen year old Natsu saying goodbye to Levy as she left Magnolia to study at a college in Crocus, never to return to her hometown again. Two years later, he was saying goodbye to Erza as she went to settle down in Hargeon with her new husband, Jellal. It wasn't long after that that Cana drank herself to death.
She saw Natsu begin to break when his best friend told him that he was enlisting in the military. Gray was the last of Natsu's friends to leave, and he knew that life would never be the same after he was gone. The boys had known each other all twenty-one years of their lives, and Natsu was sure that the damn stripper would have been around to annoy him until the day he died.
But now he was gone, too. Killed in action.
Through the next flashes of Natsu's life, Lucy saw how heavily he began to rely on his older brother, Zeref. Although much older now, the blonde recognized him as the boy from the first memory. He became everything to Natsu. He was the only person left that Natsu held dear, and the only thing that kept Natsu going.
The last memory brought Lucy to a week before present day, and her fears were confirmed. Zeref had died. He was killed in an accident, along with his girlfriend, Mavis. The only thing keeping Natsu tied to this life was gone.
Lucy saw Natsu collapsed in a heap in the hallway of the hospital. Zeref had just passed, and Erza wasn't here this time to catch him as he knees gave out. None of the people around him moved to console him.
As she ripped her hands off of the lacrima, Lucy became aware of the tears streaming down her face. Glancing into Natsu's mind in the way that she just had allowed her to feel what he felt. The memories had brought on an onslaught of emotions that she had the luxury of being unfamiliar with. Of course she had experienced sadness, but the magnitude of Natsu's suffering was too much for her to handle. So she let herself cry, only vaguely aware of slipping out of her chair and onto the ground. Sometime during her sobbing, Plue crawled into her lap, doing his best to help his master.
She cradled Plue in her arms and shakily rose to her feet once she had cried her eyes dry. She wanted to check on Natsu. The final memory she saw was from a week ago, so she wanted to make sure that he hadn't done anything drastic. She knew how humans could be when they were pushed to the brink. They either fought like hell to survive or let their sorrow consume them.
Natsu is calmer than he thought he would be in this moment. Maybe it's because he's had thoughts of doing this ever since he found out that Gray had been killed.
As he stands on the edge of the building, he can't pull his eyes off of the cars that speed on the street below him. This was the same road that both Lisanna and Zeref had died on, so he found it fitting to end his life here.
He takes a quick glimpse of the sky above him. Clouds had moved in, and blocked the stars from view. He finds himself saddened, the view had been clear a few hours ago, and he was hoping that he could turn himself skyward during his fall, so that his last image of this earth would be of the only thing he deemed beautiful about it. But as it turns out, fate wanted to be cruel to him till his end.
Despite all of this, Natsu decides that he would rather not see the ground rapidly approaching. And so he still turns around, grasping onto the railing with his hands in front of him instead of behind. He takes a deep breath, and slowly loosens his grip.
A sudden blinding light in front of him has him clutching onto the railing once again. His eyes slam shut, but whatever is in front of him is so bright that it permeates his eyelids and he wishes his hands were free to help shield them.
When the light fades enough for him to open his eyes, he can't stop the words that tumble from his mouth at the sight that greets him.
"Holy shit."
The girl in front of him is far more beautiful than the night sky. Every aspect of her appearance seemed to be illuminated. Her dress itself seemed to have been made of starlight, it was the purest white that he had ever seen. Its sweet heart neckline left much of the luminescent skin on her chest exposed. A different material, Natsu would have called it lace if it didn't look like liquefied silver, wound around the fitted bodice of the dress, and extended above the neckline to wind across her chest, shoulders, and down her arms to end at the backs of her hands. The material also dripped below her waist line, in some places even going beyond the length of her fanned out dress. The crown that sat upon her head seemed to be made of the same silvery material. Tiny gems that shone like stars were also strewn across her figure. Some seemed to be embedded in the metal-like material that wound its way across her body, while others made it appear that they had simply been swept up by her dress as if she had taken a walk among the stars. The dress, along with her golden hair, never once settled, always appearing to be swept by a soft breeze.
The only thing about her appearance that made her seem human was her expression. Shining tears were slipping down her cheeks, and her brown eyes held sorrow that mirrored Natsu's own.
"Please," she uttered softly, "do not let go." Even her voice was unearthly. It held an elegance that he had never known a human to possess, and the sound of it immediate set his heart at ease. His body suddenly didn't hurt as much as it had this past week. And for the time being, he had no desire to end his life.
So he slowly made his way back over the railing, only taking his eyes off of the girl before him when absolutely necessary. Her expression gave away her relief at his change in position, and she slowly made her way over to him. Her hair and dress lagged behind her a bit, making it look as if she was moving through water.
Once he was safely back on the roof, the girl spoke again.
"Natsu Dragneel," she addressed, with a small smile. He decided then that she was even more breathtaking when she smiled. And god, he loved the way his name sounded when she said it. She made him feel important, worth the effort and time. "The stars have listened, and your prayer is to be answered."
"Wait…what?"
"Nearly four hours ago, you told the stars your desires. And as a Celestial Commissioner in the Ministry of Aquarius, it is my duty to grant them."
Was she talking about when he had wished on that shooting star? And what was all this crap about Celestial Commissioners? Maybe he had drank too much and was passed out on the hillside, because there's no way a girl like this, with her unearthly appearance and talk of granting wishes, was real.
His thoughts were interrupted when she reached up and pressed a hand on his cheek. Their eyes locked, and she let out a soft giggle. God, he really liked that sound, too.
"I can feel your confusion," she spoke," and to answer your questions, this is very real."
"How…how did you know what I was thinking?"
"There are many things that I wish to explain to you," she withdrew her hand from his cheek, "So please, let me take you somewhere that I believe would be better suited for our conversation."
Before he could respond, she gently took both of his hands in her grasp, and closed her eyes. The blinding light from before returned and wrapped around them, so he closed his eyes. The feeling that overtook him as the light surrounded them was nothing like anything Natsu had ever felt before. He imagined that this was what being in outer space felt like. There was nothing pulling on him, he felt weightless.
The feeling was short-lived. The light started fading, and he felt gravity take hold of him again as his feet reconnected with solid ground.
When he opened his eyes, his heart dropped. How the hell was he back at the hillside? Was the girl really a dream, and now he was finally awake?
The soft glow in his right periphrial proved the contrary, and one of her hands was still gripped softly in his. She said she was going to take him somewhere, so why was that somewhere here?
"I chose this location because I am going to tell you things about your existence that will undoubtedly unsettle you, and this is the place where you feel most at ease," she answered his thoughts. She still hadn't let go of his hand, and used it to gently pull him down with her. "Please," she continued, "be seated, so I can begin."
Natsu was still in shock from suddenly being transported to a place that was more than a mile away from the rooftop that they had previously occupied. So he let her drag him down, and he made himself comfortable on the hillside, just like he had for many years of his life.
But for the first time since Gray had left, he wasn't sitting here alone.
"As I said before," the girl began, "the stars heard your prayer, and I have taken it upon myself to answer it. I come from the Celestial Realm, a place quite unlike Earth. It isn't a place that you can go to by trekking a great distance. To travel there, and to travel here from there, one must go through a gate which can only be opened by those who hold the key. The only beings to possess such keys are the Celestial Spirit King and the Ministers of the Twelve Zodiac Constellations. I am only a commissioner, someone who serves under the ministers. But I was designated to fulfill your request, and when my minister and I learned that you were about to end your life, she granted me the ability to cross over into this realm, so that I might have had the chance to save you."
Natsu probably should have felt disbelief. She was telling him about the existence of another realm, one that was deeply entangled in the desires of his own. But he couldn't find a fault in the words she was telling him. Her appearance alone was a testament of her otherworldly origins.
"That can't be the only reason you came," he started. "I'm not worth crossing realms for. And it can't be too common for one of your kind to come here, otherwise everyone would already know about your existence."
"You are correct to assume that celestial beings don't often cross over into this realm. We prefer to manipulate things from our realm, and observe from the stars," she stated. "And before you start to form misconceptions, I must tell you that celestial beings do not dictate all matters on Earth. Humanity's existence runs a course of its own. We only make small adjustments to grant the wishes of your kind. They may not have their requests fulfilled right away, but our modifications ensure that somewhere down the line, they will receive what they asked for," she paused while she gazed at the now partially revealed starry sky.
"And as for why you had the honor of being saved by a celestial being," she paused again, but this time she looked as if she was contemplating her next words. "The reasons for my presence here are much more profound," she locked eyes with him before she spoke her next words. "I have looked into your past, and seen your tribulations. I have consorted with my minister and resolved that the best way to grant your wish is to make you understand the importance of your existence, and to help you realize that you were never alone to begin with, not in your suffering nor in your existence."
Her words shook Natsu's very core. When she told him that she was going to grant his wish, he had hoped that she could bring his loved ones back. But now she was going to try to tell him that he had been wrong and that he had never been alone?
"I hope with all of my heart that you remember my next words," she said. "Good companions are much like stars. You cannot always see them, but they are always there. Even those that have passed. They live on in our memories, and we do our best to honor them by continuing to live as they would want us to."
He knew that her words held truth. Zeref would have absolutely lost it if he were here to learn of Natsu's attempted suicide. He had no doubt that Gray would have also been pissed beyond belief. And how many times had Natsu refused to go visit Erza and Levy? He realized then that maybe his loneliness was a product of his own choices. Now that he thought about it, there were also numerous instances where he had shut down Erza and Levy's plans to visit him because their presence brought back too many painful memories, ones that included Gray and Lisanna.
His thoughts of the deceased brought a question to his mind. "If you hold the power to make changes to our world, then why didn't you stop Zeref, Gray, and Lisanna from dying?!"
"Everything dies eventually," she explained solemnly, "even celestial beings."
"But you saved me! Why save a worthless thing like me over people like them? People that had a purpose!"
"Your own words hold the answer to your question. You have not yet found your purpose, the reason for your very existence. Everyone exists for a reason, and everything happens for a reason. People like you are the reason that beings like me exist. We grant tender mercies to those that are lost, so that we may lighten the burdens placed upon them. In simpler terms, we exist to make humanity happy. We cannot always stop people from dying, so we dedicate ourselves to granting your desires. That way, when the time comes for you to pass on, you can leave in peace, having lived joyous lives. If you would have succeeded in killing yourself tonight, you would not have passed on peacefully, and your purpose would have remained unfulfilled. Your life has not been kind to you, Natsu Dragneel. But this world has much more to offer than what you've experienced so far. That is why I saved you. I could not let you die without knowing the reason for your existence."
It was a lot to take in at once, and her words only spawned more questions.
"Then," Natsu began, "can you tell me what my purpose is? Can you tell me what I'm supposed to do from now on?"
"I am afraid not," the girl sitting next to him grew solemn once again. "Telling you such information would alter things drastically. It would be like sending you into a maze with a map. You would know exactly what to do. You wouldn't face any challenges, and therefore wouldn't grow stronger." She stood and starting taking small steps down the hill as she continued, "Besides, I believe that you possess the ability to find your purpose on your own. You're strong. You have made it through each trial that has come your way so far, so why give up the fight now? Find a reason to live, whether it be to honor the dead or to thrive with the living."
By the end of her speech, he was on his feet too, and she made her way to stand before him. She laid her hand on his cheek once again, and he unconsciously leaned into her touch.
A smile graced her features, "I see that my words have left an impression on you."
They stayed like that for a while, never once breaking eye contact, before her hands moved to clasp his own.
"I hope that my words may continue to guide you, for the sun will rise soon, and the time for me to return to my realm is fast approaching."
He didn't want her to leave. She had changed his entire perception of this reality. And she had saved him from ending his life, a life that she assured him held endless possibilities. He couldn't find his voice to protest, but she seemed to understand.
"I cannot stay. I would not survive long in a realm that is not my own," she stated. "Please remember Natsu, that as long as there are stars above you, you are not alone. The stars that you see every night, twinkling and glittering and painting the night sky are long dead. Yet they still give beauty to everyone who looks up at them at night. They still give hope and inspiration to everyone who finds meaning in their existence. They remind us that even on the darkest night of our soul, the memories of our loved ones can still give a glimmer of light and a twinkle in our hearts. Even when they are long gone, just like the stars. And remember that the darkness that often enfolds you holds countless other hearts, and with this you stand together, though you may be lives apart. But like those who have stargazed before you, know that it is in the darkness that the stars shine their brightest."
Sometime during her speech, tears had begun to fall down Natsu's face. She reached up to wipe them away with her thumbs.
"Fate can be cruel," she soothed. "But for a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a nebula must collapse. So it's okay to collapse and crumble sometimes. But do not let your past weigh you down. I promise you that it will not bring you your destruction, only your rebirth."
The sun was peeking over the horizon.
She released his hands, and backed away a few steps before light began to gather around her. Aquarius was calling her back to their realm.
"Be noble, Natsu," she continued, "for you are made of stardust, and that's worth far more than you've known, for every sun and solar flare is made up just like you. And if they're cause for wonder then I promise, you are too."
AN
Was that ending too cheesy?
Anyways...yay! My first fanfiction!
Feel free to notify me of any spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. I'm also open to receiving constructive criticism. I'm new to writing and want to improve.
Also, some notes on the story:
-I hope it wasn't too confusing. My brain moves faster than I can type.
-The idea spawned from a tumblr post about shooting stars really being satellites that recorded peoples wishes and assigned agents to them. I just tried to make the concept more Fairy Tail like and somehow it turned into this weirdly profound thing. A lot of my inspiration came from the idea presented in the lyrics of the song "Saturn" by Sleeping At Last and Pinterest quotes. Also Lunafreya from FFXV was my primary source of inspiration for this version of Lucy.
-I really didn't mean to offend anyone with the religious implications of this story. I simply found some interesting ideas and did my best to tie them together to give the story depth.
Other FT stories are in progress, so please watch out for them!