When I was young I was very into Tenchi Muyo. I loved Ayeka as a character. She's such a tragic character if you really think about her life. And every series has a sad ending for her. They pushed the show as a harem (I don't do harem anymore) but as really coming down to Ayeka or Ryoko. But Tenchi never picks Ayeka. She just never gets to be happy.
I remember it so clearly. The day it happened. I had been on my way to the grand hall when the alarms sounded, and not a moment later the first explosion hit. Azaka and Kamidake came for me, but I sent them in search of Sasami. I knew you would be joining the fight, and I needed to see you. One last time. Just in case it really was.
I searched all the fields, and the beautiful Jurian sky, soft and pink on those far off summer afternoons of my childhood, was ablaze with fire and soot. Ash rained from the sky, piled on the walkways, drowned the flowers of our garden, stained my kimono and my face. In the distance I could hear laughing. Beyond the explosions and the fire, beyond the sounds of war and gunfire, beyond the crumbling walls of our ancestral city, that woman was laughing. I wanted to be angry. It should have been so easy. Our city was falling, our people were dying, and that monster had the gall to laugh. But I was too desperate and scared for anger. People were dying, soldiers were dying, and you were our prized general. You would be gone soon to the front lines, because if anyone could kill that demon it would be you.
The Royal Teardrops, the same heartbreaking purple as your eyes, were all black by the time I reached you. I crushed them beneath my feet as I ran. Of course it would be there that I found you. Just over the hill where we once sat as you promised I would be your bride. It was always our spot, our garden. Even once Sasami was born, this one place was just for you and me. These we our flowers, no matter what you might have said. They were precious, and beloved, and kept my lonely heart at ease when you were away. At least until that day.
I knew you had to go. I knew that you were our only hope. As the crowned princess of Jurai, I would send you off as was my duty. But for once I felt the selfishness in my heart take hold of me. This wasn't an official royal mission to command the fleets. This was Ryoko, breaking our shields, destroying our home. I begged you not to go. Grabbed at your robes and looked in your eyes and cried and begged. That's what I remember most vividly. Looking into your eyes, asking you to stay, and knowing, seeing in those beautiful purple eyes that you wouldn't. You said exactly what I knew you would. You had to go. It was your duty. She had to be stopped and only you could do it. You had to protect Jurai. You had to protect me.
And you left. I watched you climb into your ship and take off. I watched you fight her and corner her and chase her as she fled to the stars. I watched you disappear as the city burned and the ash piled at my feet. The flowers never grew again.
Kamidake found me. I might not have left, but Sasami was missing. She had snuck away from her guardians that morning and could not be found in the chaos. We found her eventually, sleeping in the Royal Arboretum. When we woke her she had no recollection of how she got there, but she was unharmed. She doesn't remember that day at all. It may be trauma, or it may just be that she was so young. She barely even remembers you.
700 years I've stood where our garden once was, searching the sky for a even a glimmer of your ship. Every day I think back to those last moments and I wonder what I could have done differently. How I could have made you stay. How I could have convinced you to bring me too.
With you gone, I became the eldest child of Jurai. I am to become queen. The houses of the court, the advisors, the outworld representatives, the people all look to me for the future. The mothers still try to baby me, but I know what's expected of me. I have always known my duty. I can never be as weak as I was on that day. Never again. I can never again be the girl I was before you left. I have to be stronger than that. For the people. Only in my moments alone can I allow myself respite. Only in the moments before bed, as I sit and brush my hair, can I really look myself in the eye and admit how much I miss you. Only as I stand in the memory of our garden, looking to the stars, can I let the tears come. Only then, and only a little, because I have to be stronger. I have to be the regal daughter of the Emperor. I have to be Sasami's strict elder sister. I have to be the Crowned Princess Jurai. Never Ayeka. She was only for you.
So I put Ayeka away. I met with diplomats, held council, oversaw colonial outspread, learned the ways of war, trained in Jurai'an blood magic, even trained for combat. But always in the back of my mind I hoped you would return. There was no record of Ryoko's death or capture. There was no sign of Funaho or Ryo-Ohki anywhere in the galaxy. So that meant you must still be out there. That you would find your way back to me. It wasn't until Father announced my engagement that I realized I really was the only one who thought so.
That very day I announced my departure to search for you. I'm sure Father is unhappy with me, but he didn't stand in my way. The mothers probably have a hand in that. Sasami was adamant that she accompany me. She should be back home focusing on her studies. But I couldn't refuse her. As rambunctious as she can be, she's still our darling baby sister. And as strict as I try to be with her, I always find myself softening. The same way you used to coddle me. And when she pleaded to come with me, I couldn't help but to compare her to myself on that day. She's not desperate and pleading like I was. She's young, but in a way she's already much more equanimous than I ever was. But she was pleading with me, beseeching me not to leave her behind. I just couldn't abandon her. So we've been on our own (with Azaka and Kamidake) for many years now. Ryu-Oh has been scouring all the galaxies for Funaho's signal.
I thought I had finally found you. When I was woken from cryogenic slumber and I saw the Earth, I was so sure. But it wasn't you. It was her. She's alive. Has been alive all these years And now as I find her, the day I find her, she's no longer liable for her crimes. That won't stand. I'll kill that woman. If the courts won't try her, I'll punish her myself. No one would dare interfere.
She led me to Tenchi, which led me to the boy (also Tenchi), who led me to you. And now I don't even know what to feel. I don't even know what to do. I'm stranded here on this planet. With you.
You left me. You left me all alone. Said it was to protect me. To kill that woman. That we would be married on your return. But you never had any intention of coming back. That was what I saw in your eyes that day. That you would never come back to me. Because you didn't intend to. I loved you. More than anyone. My brother, my guardian, my protector, my love. And you threw me away. On that day, I was Ayeka, really Ayeka, more selfish than I was ever allowed to be. I didn't want to send you away to protect Jurai. I just wanted you alive and with me. I asked you. I begged you. And you abandoned me. For another world, another planet, another woman, another family. This sweet young man, who seems the same age as me, who Sasami already adores, is your grandchild. How am I supposed to look at him? How am I supposed to look at you? How am I supposed to cope with this? You saw me. You knew me, and you pretended to be dead. And maybe you are. Because how can you be my Yosho?
My Yosho wouldn't do this to me. My Yosho was young, and tender, and honorable, and noble. He was the eldest child of Jurai. He loved our people, our planet, our way of life. He loved me. I don't know who you are. Did my Yosho die that day?
Did he ever even really exist?