He still hadn't taken her fort down. He couldn't. Despite how much it pained him to look at, despite the way he could swear his heart had been ripped in two - more than that, it was completely shattered. And El had taken all the splintery little pieces with her.
Mike sniffed, angrily wiping at the tears that had managed to slip through the dam he tried so hard to keep in place. He really was trying. For his Mum, his dad, for Dustin, Will, Lucas and Nancy. They wanted normality, for things to be what they once were. He wanted - no, needed, to find her. He put all his energy into school, planning campaigns, helping around the house, all the things he had done previously. And looking for El. He couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened... Like she hadn't happened.
Mike hated the way everyone acted as though nothing out of the ordinary took place that week. He supposed it was just their way of coping but, still. Eleven deserved to be remembered. In more than the pitiful glances Mike was now accustomed to receiving. Even those who were not aware of the extraordinary girl's existence could see a very drastic change in the young boy's behaviour.
Michael Wheeler no longer put his hand up eagerly to answer the teacher's questions in school. He sat soundlessly, taking notes, keeping his head down but more often than not, staring off into space. As much as he tried to busy himself, nobody overlooked the silences and awkward, uncomfortable fake smiles or the god-awful hollow look to his dark eyes and the bruise-like shadows beneath them. He wasn't eating; wasn't sleeping. He'd become a shadow of what he was before, to put it poetically. Although, absolutely nothing of what the dark-haired boy was feeling was poetic or desirable in the slightest. Even Troy and James seemed to sense that they should not to push him too much.
'Doubt its because they feel any sympathy for him,' Lucas confided to Will and Dustin bitterly, when he thought Mike was out of earshot one day, 'Those dicks don't have an empathetic bone in their body. You simply can't get any joy out of breaking somebody who is already beyond repair.' Dustin and Will did not agree with the last part, they knew exactly who could 'repair' Mike. And they damn well weren't going to give up on their friend. Mike or El. Lucas' opinion on Eleven's current welfare was no secret though, so there was no point in arguing with him. He was not a bad friend. He just relied heavily on solid, scientific, statistical facts. Nobody blamed him, even if they did wish he would keep his mouth shut at times, for Mike's sake more than anyone's.
A small sniffle escaped the boy as he rose to his feet. His whole body ached, from falling down amongst the foliage of the forest floor as he looked for his missing friend, or from the immense guilt weighing down on him, he wasn't sure.
If he closed his eyes, he could still see her. Sat in her fort, fiddling with his supercom, levitating his figurines with her mind, or just looking up at him, with her wide, curious eyes. God, he longed to see those eyes again. It was crazy, utterly inconceivable, how much he missed her. They had only shared a week together, yet they had been through so much; made so many memories. Had a million more to make. There were so many promises between them. So many things left to say. He couldn't live without her. Not now and not ever again. Everything just felt wrong without her by his side. That week had been the best of his life, and also the worst. All Mike knew was El had made him feel things he hadn't ever felt before. Changed him, for the better. And being without her was definitely changing him, definitely not in a positive way.
Pretending that he could see through the tears clouding his vision, turning his little hideout in the basement into dull smudges, Mike glanced towards the small-but-comforting shelter he made for a terrified girl he hadn't then known - now empty and idle, shouldered his backpack, climbed out the window, and once again made his way towards the forest for yet another endless night of searching.