Moments Upon Moments, chapter 3
She turned pale. "What? What are you saying? You really have lost your mind, Sir! You want to move our relationship from one to ten, and I'm supposed to believe you?" She pushed away from the table, grabbed her coat and fled. He threw some coins on the table and went after her, and when he caught up with her, he held onto her arm, tightly enough that she couldn't pull away.
"I know I threw you a curve, Barbara, but our relationship wasn't a one. More like seven or eight, so I'm not jumping the gun. Except that I didn't tell you that I'm in love with you."
"Yeah, right," she shouted, "and I'm not supposed to realize this is a wind-up?"
He turned her to face him. "It is not a wind-up," he said softly. "Now, I propose that we go to my house where we can discuss this quietly."
She was feeling a maelstrom of emotions - doubts, conflicts, terror, and somewhere underneath, a touch of joy, which she pushed away. She allowed him to help her into his car, where that familiar seat felt normal, comfortable, reassuring. But that was their partnership, their friendship. She had been in love with him more years than she could count, her secret. Or so she hoped, sensing that Winston and perhaps other colleagues suspected. But he didn't know, Inspector Lynley, her boss. Sir.
When they reached his house, he kept his hand firmly on her back, getting her to the door, and inside, where he took her coat and hung it in the closet. He led the way to his living room, and poured her a liqueur, himself a whiskey. "All right, Barbara, can I ask you – was my suggestion totally offensive? Is the idea of marrying me something you can't bear to think of?"
"How would I know? I've never thought of it. I mean, Sir – you and me? Isn't it a tad ridiculous?"
He smiled warmly at her. "No, I don't think it is. Barbara, let me explain, you have seen me thinking I was in love. You even told me that I was in love with Helen! Which I don't think I was. Not the way I love you. You have been the constant in my life for years now; I've just assumed you always would be. You have made me a better man than I ever would have been without you. When Hillier told us about his plan, I felt the bottom drop out of my life."
"Well, me too, Sir, but that doesn't mean…I mean, yes we love one another, but you don't…." She looked down, clenching her hands together. "You don't fancy me."
He shook his head. "Oh, my dearest girl, you can't imagine how much I 'fancy' you. I dream about kissing you, making love to you. I was always afraid you would bolt if I told you, and that our partnership would be over. Now, I have to take the chance. You won't bolt, will you?" He reached his hand to hers, and she took it for a moment, meeting his eyes. "No," she said softly.
He grinned, holding out his arms, "then come here, you." And she went, into his arms and into the rest of her life.