I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE. . .
Christmas Carols
Have you ever felt a way for someone whom you know you shouldn't? How far would you go to conceal it from them? Will you wait until it was too late to tell them? . . .
A small boy wearing all white sat next to the fire, the silver in his hair glittered with the sparks of the flame. He was occupied with a blank puzzle.
"Nate!" another boy dressed in all black came to tower over him. "Get the fuck away from the fire! How am I supposed to do this?!"
With that said, the boy kicked the puzzle that Nate had been working on. The pieces flew into the flame. His medium blonde hair flickered with hate as the flame lit it.
Nate only watched as his hard work was slowly devoured by the fire. His eyes and face were emotionless as he looked up at the laughing boy.
"Ha ha ha!" he turned away and began to walk. Stopping halfway to the door, he turned to Nate, "Oh, yeah! Merry Christmas, Nate!" and left.
Nate only watched as he left the room but he wasn't shocked at his actions.
A passing onlooker happened to see the boy's act and attempted to put him into his place. "Mihael! That wasn't very nice! It's Christmas!" she yelled.
"Yeah? Well, merry Christmas, Linda!" Mihael ran over to her and pulled her hair.
The girl screamed in pain as she tried to keep Mihael from pulling her hair, with no success. Mihael only laughed at her pleads for mercy.
Nate sat and watched as his puzzle burned. He was completely focused on the flame.
Nate thought of his past experiences with Mihael's habits and knew that he wouldn't change any time soon.
Years passed and Nate's assumption was never wrong. Mihael would go about with his misdreavous behavior and Nate only watched.
Nate flew a plane through the air, his other hand with a small limo. He had landed the plane in front of the limo and pulled out a small toy person from the limo. He put the person into the plane and placed the plane aside.
Moments later, he had pulled out a second limo next to the first one and pulled out a smaller toy person. He then flew another plane in replacement of the first's landing. He put the second person into the plane and placed it next to the first plane.
"Nate! What are you doing!?" Mihael yelled from behind Nate, his hands on his hips.
"I am just playing wi--"
"Exactly! You're playing! You should be getting me my presents!" Mihael ordered.
Every Christmas, Mihael would take first peeks at Nate's presents. If he had shown interest at the gift, he would take it from him.
Any other holiday was no different. On Halloween, Mihael would steal all Nate's chocolates, on Easter; Mihael would take all Nate's eggs from the hunt, and so on.
"Mihael?" Nate said softly.
"What!?" Mihael retorted.
". . ."
"Well!?"
"Can't this year be different for us? After all, this is our last year at the Wammy House. . ." Nate tried to reason with him.
"Hm. . . Let me ponder this for a second. . . Wait, I have it he-- No!" Mihael growled. "Just because we're both getting adopted doesn't mean that you get special privileges! Now, hand them over!!!"
Nate looked into his eyes and was quiet.
"What are you looking at!?" Mihael growled.
Nate was silent and looked away. He slowly got to his feet and walked over to the tree. He picked up a present and walked back to Mihael, slowly.
Mihael quickly snatched the box from his hand and tore it open quickly. Nate watched silently as the brightly colored wrappings flew everywhere.
Mihael pulled out a small toy girl. He glared at it and threw it to the ground.
"What the hell is that!? It hardly qualifies as a present!" Mihael yelled.
Nate bent over and picked it up. He stood with the small toy in his palm. He faced Mihael, who was having a fit.
"You get the worst presents, ever! No wonder you're always alone!" Mihael stormed out of the room.
Linda walked into the room. She noticed that Mihael had been up to his tricks again by the looks of Nate's face.
"Has Mihael been bullying you again, Nate?" she asked.
Nate was quiet.
Linda persisted on trying to make him feel better. "Nate, you shouldn't feel too bad about Mihael. He does that to eveyone. . ."
"It's fine. . ." Nate replied.
"Huh?" Linda was a bit shocked at his answer.
"It's fine, Linda. . . Really. . ." Nate responded to her reaction.
"But--"
"Maybe this is how it should be. . ." Nate walked out of the room.
Linda watched as he exited. "What did you mean by that, Nate? . . ."
Nate looked into his palm. The small doll resembled Linda.
The next day, Mihael and Nate were awaiting their new family. Nate looked at Mihael, who was finely dressed in his small black suit. Nate also wore a suit, but as white as the snow.
Mihael, spotting Nate's gaze, barked at him, "What?!"
"Mihael-kun. . . Can I ask you something? . . . Before we never see each other again?" Nate asked him.
Mihael scowled at him, "Like?"
Nate was silent. He couldn't figure out how to tell Mihael.
"What's wrong? Are you going to try to tell me off for everything I did to you?" Mihael attempted to read his mind.
Nate was quiet. Just as he gathered his thoughts, Roger, the head of the Wammy House, hushed them.
"Your new families are here. Act decent," Roger whispered as the first family walked up to the front door.
As they entered, Nate tried to whisper to Mihael, "Mihael-kun, I just want you to know--"
"Be quiet, Nate! Your family will be here soon!" Mihael whispered back.
"But--"
"Shh!" Mihael gave a wide grin to his new family.
After discussing things to the new parents, Roger took them into his office to write up the paperwork, leaving Mihael and Nate alone in front of the door.
"So, what did you want to tell me?" Mihael put his hands on his hips and gave his famous 'You're wasting my time' face.
Nate lost his courage again.
"Nate!" Mihael yelled.
Nate hesitated. Mihael awaited his words.
"It's nothing. . ." Nate finally said after a long pause.
Mihael glared at him. Mihael's new family emerged from Roger's office. They had obviously done the paperwork.
The man walked over to Mihael. "Come now, Son, time to go home."
He held out a hand for Mihael and he took it. Mihael, his new Father, and his new Mother had walked out of the door.
Nate ran behind them but stopped mid-way and watched as Mihael stepped into the car. He gave Nate a quick look. He finally looked at him without anger or hate. He looked at him with sort of a sad look and then drove away.
Nate could feel a chill down his spine and a new emptiness in his heart.
The next year, Nate had turned eight. He wasn't as happy as he should have. Every time he saw anything that reminded him of Mihael, he would feel his heart ache uncontrollably.
They went out to the park the next day. Nate had been place on a swing and held on to the chained sides as his adopted parents took pictures.
Nate had smiled in none of the pictures. In fact, he hasn't smiled ever since he left the Wammy House.
Finally, the barrage of flashes was over and his parents had been looking over some papers from the mail. Nate was alone, finally.
Nate lightly pushed himself back and fourth on the swing, looking to the floor. He was completely lost in his thoughts. All he could think about was Mihael.
"Daddy, wait up!" Nate heard someone yell.
He recognized that voice. He quickly jumped from the swing and ran toward the sound. He saw a figure up ahead. Its long blonde hair flew in the wind, just as Mihael's did back at the orphanage.
Nate was sure about who it was. It was Mihael. He ran as fast as he could to him and finally caught up to him. He reached his hand out to him and grabbed his shoulder.
"Mihael-kun! I--" Nate pulled him around.
"D-Daddy!" the boy screamed as he raced to his father.
It wasn't Mihael. Of course not. Why would he be all the way over here? That is only a one out of a billion chance.
Feeling defeated, Nate lowered his head in grief, feeling as if he would never find Mihael in this big wide world, and he probably won't.
For the next few weeks, Nate would respond to absolutely nothing. Not even his old perks were exciting anymore. The most he would do is play with his toys.
Nate set everything up as it was a year ago in the Wammy House. He set the two planes beside each other and the two people next to each other, with the smaller one behind the taller one.
Over his desperation for Mihael, he had altered the toys into his liking as the first, taller one as Mihael and the shorter one as himself. He even colored them to their likeness.
He began to play with his toys with the Nate toy always getting close to the Mihael toy but Nate had always been backed off when he had put the Linda toy into play.
Having the Nate toy hide from the both of them each time the Linda toy was put into play, he finally gave his miniature self time with the Mihael toy.
Having them face to face, he left them there. He lifted himself to bed and went to sleep for the night. Just as he closed his eyes, he heard his door open.
"Nate," his adoptive mother peeked her head in. "Are you going to sleep yet?"
"Yes, Mimi..." Nate said softly, without opening his eyes.
She sighed and walked inside. She slowly sat next to him on the bed, rubbing his shoulder.
"I told you, you can call me Mom..." she sighed.
"But you are not..." Nate said coldly.
Mimi was speechless. She just looked at him and sighed a deep sigh. She bent over and hugged him. Leaving the room, she gave Nate a quick glance before shutting the door.
Years later, Nate had left his adoptive parents, who had shown him so much love despite his indifferent personality. Nate was thankful to them but was happy to get out of the house as soon as he could.
About three days later, Nate's adoptive father had died. Stricken with grief, his adoptive mother died of a broken heart.
Watching them being carried away by men in white, as Mimi had instructed in her will, Nate couldn't help but think of all the times that he had wronged them, which was normal to a child when his parents die.
He noticed that they had to be buried in one coffin, as they were holding hands as they died and too stiff to remove.
Nate had to live on his own, feeling emptier than ever and had decided to take a walk to ease his mind. As he thought of what other people might do when they feel this way, he passed by a bar, gazing as he wondered what to do.
He decided it wasn't for him, he turned to leave. Giggling had widened his eyes. Nate recognized that voice.
He quickly turned around and saw none other than Linda and Mihael.
Linda was obviously drunk as Mihael carried her from the bar. He smiled with naughty intentions.
Nate was completely in shock. Not only had this been the first time that he had seen Mihael in years but he was with Linda. Linda! Whoever thought that he would end up with her? The way they used to fight so much. . .
A quick coldness filled his body, darkness filled his soul and he was determined to talk to Mihael and regain each other's friendship again.
Over the next year, Nate would constantly try to talk to Mihael, but Linda would always somehow pull him away and Nate never even got the chance to tell Mihael that he was still alive.
One day, Nate had overheard them talking to one another.
"Oh, Mihael-kun. . . This is so wonderful!" Linda exclaimed.
"Yeah, free chocolate!" Mihael exclaimed, taking a bite of his bar.
"Not that!" Linda smiled at him.
"What could be better than chocolate? . . . Oh, I know!"
"Me?" Linda said, hopeful.
"FREE chocolate."
"Mihael!"
Mihael looked at Linda. "And you, of course. . . Yeah. . ."
"Mihael, we're getting married soon, can't you help me make plans?"
Married. . . Nate's heart practically bled tears when he had heard that. He was completely devastated yet even more determined to talk to Mihael now.
"Linda, our wedding isn't for a couple of days, now, let me eat!" Mihael demanded.
"And on Christmas! What a wonderful time to get married. . ." Linda swooned.
"Yeah. . . And if we're lucky, they'll make a life-size chocolate cake of Santa Claus! . . . That fat bastard would be enough to fill ten times the people who will be attending the wedding. . . Heh, too bad they won't be getting any of him. . ." Mihael took another bite of chocolate.
"You're going to get diabetes by eating all of that chocolate. . ." Linda said calmly.
"Hey, it would be worth it. . ." Mihael took another bite, despite her warning.
"You DO know that's the disease that you have to stick a needle into yourself, right?"
"And I'll replace the fluid with chocolate. . ."
"You're so hopeless. . ." Linda giggled.
Nate couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand how happy they were. He left early, for the first time. Besides, he only had two days to figure out a plan to get to Mihael.
The day of the wedding, Nate had watched as Mihael walked through his party. He wanted to wait until he was alone so that he could talk to him.
He was outside the church, watching in from the window. The snow fell so lightly. Nate was completely one with the snow as the flakes showered into his hair.
Finally, Mihael had left to take a break in the restroom. Nate had followed.
Mihael, with a great sigh, leaned in front of the mirror. Nate stood silently in back of him, unsure what to say or how to approach him.
Mihael had spotted him and, as if he had seen a ghost, rubbed his eyes. Seeing that it was no dream, he quickly turned to Nate.
"Nate!" Mihael gasped.
". . . Mihael. . ." Nate let out a relieved whisper.
"W-What are you doing here?" Mihael asked, out of breath.
Nate was silent.
"Nate! You're all covered in snow. . . And you're even paler than before!" Mihael took notice and was about to run to get a blanket.
"Mihael. . . I want to ask you something. . ." Nate finally spoke, holding Mihael from leaving him again.
"N-Nate. . ." Mihael was taken aback.
"I. . . I've been trying to. . . To tell you this before you left. . ."
"What?"
"Mihael. . . It's been really killing me, but. . ."
"Nate. . . I really have to go. . ."
"Please, Mihael-kun. . . I need to know. . ." Nate hung his head.
Mihael, seeing the seriousness, stood silent.
"I. . . I need to know. . . If you. . . If you feel the same way about me. . . The way I feel about you. . ."
Mihael smiled. "Nate, we'll always be friends. . . You don't even need to ask-"
"Not like that. . . Mihael, I love you. . ." Nate stood up to him.
The room was completely silent as Mihael stared into Nate's watering eyes.
Finally, Mihael closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He put a hand on Nate's shoulder. Nate looked up at him and, with a smile, said, "Nate. . . It just can't be. . . Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my wedding. . . Merry Christmas, Nate. . ."
Mihael left Nate speechless. A tear ran down his cheek. His heart fell. He couldn't just let this happen.
"Mihael. . ." Nate extended an arm.
"Just drop it, Nate!" Mihael shouted and ran out.
Nate was still, his arm still extended. He was shocked and defeated. He fell to the floor, his world collapsed. Barely focused, he began to lose his sight.
Just before he couldn't see no more, he noticed a small tear on the floor in front of him. His vision blurred.
Outside, the final vows were being said.
"Do you, Mihael, take Linda to be your lawfully-wedded wife?" the priest asked.
"I do. . ." Mihael said, his eyes a bit saddened.
"And do you, Linda, take Mihael to be your lawfully-wedded husband?" the priest asked Linda.
"I do!" Linda exclaimed happily.
"I now pronounce you 'Man and Wife.' You may kiss the bride."
With that said, Linda jumped on Mihael and gave him a kiss. Mihael barely returned to his mind in time to return it.
As they exited the church, Mihael turned to look behind him, searching for any trace of Nate. With no sign of Nate anywhere close, Mihael's heart fell slightly.
As he helped Linda into the car and fakely waved off to everyone, he stepped into the tinted limo, looking through the tint at the church.
". . . Sayonara. . . Near. . ." he whispered as he left.
"What did you say, Mihael-kun?" Linda asked.
Mihael looked at her and hesitantly replied, "Nothing. . . Nothing important. . ." and they drove away.
Meanwhile, Nate was in back of the church, on the old swing set. He lightly swayed as the snow filtered his sight. Not that he needed it, anyway.
Having lost all hope for Mihael, he just sat there, slowly swinging as the Christmas carols played happily not too far from where he was.
". . . Sayonara. . . Mello. . ."
I've known Mihael for years and even I, Mael Jeevas, would know that Nate wouldn't have a chance. . . All he can do now is watch over his forbidden lover. . .