I don't fucking own Pokémon, so fuck off if you want to bitch about disclaimers.
A strange man had just woken up in his usual place, and alleyway.
He walked up to the nearest trash can to search for food, but all he found was a bit of scrap and a few fish skeletons from the sea food café right next to his alley.
Suddenly as he was searching, an ear piercing cry of "HELP ME!" rang out through the alley, making the man jump and bang his head on a brick, soon muttering "Ow..".
The man acted on instinct and ran to the source, knowing no one would honestly give a fuck about a cry of help in this barren wasteland of a city.
What he saw before him, terrified his soul.
Two men in black tuxedos stood there, each with a long shaft in front of a part of the woman before them, saying "Come on, bitch, it's the least you can do for your boss.", to which she quickly replied "Hell no! You're not my boss, neither of you are!" suddenly the woman heard a "LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE JACKASSES!", and turned her head to see an odd looking Umbreon & Absol half-breed to walk out of the shadows, eye's glowing a eye piercing blue-violet.
The men laughed saying "What are you gonna do, fucking homeless scum?" before the breed replied saying "My name is Shinitu, just call me Shini, thank you very much, and to answer your question, i'll do this first." before an odd purple aura surrounded him, and he disappeared, the men gasped, and the woman just smirked, the men then both screamed in agony as their dick's fell to the ground, blood leaking out, before the breed returned to the same pose he was in, perfectly mirroring it as he was before.
P.O.V Change - Shinitu
The men fell to the ground shouting "FUCK! HOW DID HE DO THAT! FUCK FUCK FUCK! HOLY FUCKING ARCEUS FUCK!" the assholes repeated, as I went over to the woman and helped her up, only to be kissed by the woman, I didn't pull away, I just accepted it, and sorta pulled in to it, before she got out, not even panting, even though I was kissing Xerneas for the air almost, and she said "Hey, come with me, I want to show you something." so I followed her back into the shadows, behind a building, and into a small tunnel where no one could see us.
She suddenly emitted a bright light, and I covered my eyes, after a minute or two, the glow died down, so I took my arms down, and stared, shocked at what was before me.
Standing infront of me, was none other than Lady Darkrai herself.
I tried to speak, but only a stutter came out "La-LADY DARKRAI? Wh-what is th-the ho-honor?", she quietly giggled before speaking "Have you heard of the 'Champions'?" she asked, I nodded, "Well, all legends have one, except me, and I came out, disguised myself as some random woman, and started my search, but suddenly a black limo drove up, and two men stepped out, and began trying to rape me while the limo sped off into the night, before you came, one had almost got me to accept by beating me a few times, then when you showed up and did what you did, I knew it was you I would choose."
I stared in shock, and disbelief, before she added "D-Do you accept?" in a kind of stuttering scarred voice, as I tried to sooth her by hugging her, and saying "I do."
She looked up, and said "Good, cause' you're pretty hot..." she giggled a bit, but still had a quite deep blush very visible on her silky smooth black fur.
I kinda laughed nervously, saying "Thanks... you've got quite the body too." she giggled.
Suddenly her eyes darkened a bit, she started to speak "Oh, but I must warn you, everyone else at the hall.. including legendaries.. are female..." my face fell into horror, and sort of a mass stimuli.
She also added "But... they absolutely despise males..." and I pondered, before saying "Oh fucking well I guess, having a bunch of females that fucking hate you is better than living on the street's with no food, and no attention."
She chuckled, saying "That's fair."
She suddenly waved a finger, and a portal opened up. We walked through it.
And a burst of dizziness and bright as fuck light, before it faded, and I saw myself in a hall of white origin.
"Darkrai is back! Yay!" yelled a small feminine voice, before a small pink feline zoomed into the room, before stopping, and staring at me, before shouting "SHE HAS A MALE!"
Suddenly a burst of footsteps filled my ears, and a shit ton of morphs and legends came through the walk-way, and stared at me, one saying "I challenge the idiot to a race, he looks so weak!" before she started to laugh, along with the others, except for a few, Arceus being one of them.
"I accept." I shouted to the appearing Glaceon-Morph and she smirked, saying "Dumbass male, think you can beat 4 seconds on a 50 mile run?" I snickered, saying "50? come on how weak are you?" she glared at me, along with a few others, before saying "Well... Mr. I'm so fucking confident in my horrible self, let's go." I thought, '50? This is gonna be too easy.'
At the running track.
"Get ready... get set..." said Mew, "GO!" and the shot fired, as I picked up nearly 40 ft in a millisecond ahead of the Glaceon, before instantly finishing.
"0.43 seconds..." the legend known as Moltres muttered out.
"Shinitu is the winner." declared Darkrai.
The glaceon-morph stopped in her tracks, almost as if she was a bit icy... (Lol, puns.)
She barked out, "No... fucking... way... I just got dusted by a male...?" the others started laughing at her.
"Well, I suppose you want to know who I am." I stated, to which everyone nodded.
"Well, might find it hard to believe, that, or the fact i'm still alive... but..." I sighed knowing I might as well say it and say it now.
"How many of you know about the legendary champions of the 2 immortal gods?" everyone raised their hand.
"Well, here goes nothing." I spoke to myself.
"I am the champion of the 1st immortal god, Arceus's mother." everyone started to laugh, before a sound of strange energy was emitted, and they all looked to see the breed's hand glowing, a sphere forming inside of it.
"In my hand.. is The Jewel Of Infinite Possibilty." I stated, before adding "Arceus, please come and check it, to be sure it isn't fake, then attempt to teleport your jewel here." she nodded, and walked over, studying the orb, before gasping "I-It-It's real..." and backed off a bit.
The others gasped.
"I feel it is just one he teleported from your collection to him, if it is, then you should be able to Teleport it from his hand into yours." a pesky Jolteon-Morph said.
Arceus sighed, and attempted to teleport her Jewel of infinite possibilty. It appeared, yet the one I held in my hand was still there, and she examined hers' saying, "He's not lying."
"Everyone gasped, before I heard a clunk behind me, and a rather pesky Articuno tried to peck him in the back, but before she could, he reached behind him, and grabbed her beak, surprising everyone, before flipping her over to face infront of him, she spat at him "Get out of my face peasant." Arceus just sighed before saying "Thats no way to talk to my mother's retired champion, Articuno." Articuno's eyes got wide, and she instantly bowed before him, saying "It's an honor." I just snickered, saying "Ok, enough with the fucking formality, jeez." I spoke. "Plus, I still have yet to summon my champion herself." everyone paused "Herself...?" they repeated, I nodded, and said "Come forth." as a hologram appeared, saying "Sorry hon, but I am really busy right now, call back later?" I replied, "No, everyone at the hall wants to meet you." she said "Coming RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW." and instantly she appeared.
she leaned in and kissed me on my lips, startling everyone, and I just kissed her back, before pulling apart, saying "I love you too babe." before silent humming was heard in the distance, accumulated by 4 hummers mounted with machine guns to be coming right at us, Arceus got nervous and spoke up "Shit! We need to go!" before I stopped her "No, just watch." and I snapped, the planet tore in half, and the men fell into the hell-like abyss, Arceus staring in disbelief as the planet closed up again, saying "How, the fuck did you do that?" I shrugged, saying "I know, I inherited it after your mother had sex with a breed just like me... and I was born." shocked gasps filled the room, before I added "So, long time no see, sister." she sighed with content, and said "I always knew I had a brother.. I could never tell where..." and with that, everyone ventured off to their rooms, all but Shini, he followed Darkrai to her room.
A.N - Thank you all for reading, this is my first chapter that went over 1.3K words. Thank you for this achievement! You made it possible.