To make up for a slightly disappointing 'Pain of the Heart' update, I wrote this. There may be some OC-ness, but hopefully not too much. I decided to divide this into two separate chapters, because if I didn't it would simply have been too long.
WARNINGS: Any diehard Endarno fans might want to turn away, or at least read with a very open mind. Also there's a little one-sided femmslash in there two, not much, but it's definitely there.
I don't own W.I.T.C.H (bet that came as shock, eh?)
…
Will's heart beat quickened at Yan Lin's words. Something stirred inside her, like a hibernating animal that is just opening it's eyes after smelling the first hints of spring. "He's coming here?" She asked, her throat dry.
"Yes, Oracle himself invited him. Phobos has become quite a favourite of his, despite past, uh, indiscretions," Yan Lin replied. Butterflies erupted in her stomach. Will prayed to any god or goddess that was listening that Yan Lin would not be able to read her feelings, then quickly changed that to that no one would be able to read her feelings. The idea of Phobos coming to her home, after not seeing him for three years was, incomprehensible, to say the least. "He's made a good king, much to everyone's surprise," Will answered evenly as she and the elder walked down one of Candracar's sunlit walkways. "Who would have thought it?" Yan Lin answered with a smile. Yan Lin had been one of the people who had sided with Oracle when Elyon the previous ruler of Meridian had died in childbirth at the age of nineteen. The child, a boy, had died a few days after his mother. Will had attended the funeral with her fellow guardians, mourning the loss of the girl-queen along with all of Metamoor. Tears had fallen down Will's cheeks, warm and salty, mourning the loss of one of her five sisters. She had tasted the fear among the people. They were afraid, for a rumour had been flying around that the Queen's brother, Phobos would take the throne.
The gossips had been right. Three months after Elyon's death, the brother who had tried on several occasions to kill her had taken the throne, with Oracle's approval. Candracar's king had no real choice in the matter. No law, in Metamoor or Candracar prevented him, in fact, a Metamoorian law that 'only members of the royal family can ascend to the throne, first girls, then if they were childless, their brothers and their children' worked in Phobos favour. The only security measure Candracar could put in place was that for the first three years of his reign, a regency council could be set up in Meridian, who would mentor Phobos behaviour and all the laws passed and step in if he showed any signs of corruption.
Will had attended his coronation as a matter of duty. She had been the only guardian in attendance, Taranee had been genuinely ill with appendicitis, Hay Lin and Irma came up with excuses at the last minute. Cornelia was the only one who out of undying loyalty to Elyon, refused to go point blank. So Will went to what Hay Lin, Irma and Cornelia labelled 'The Dragon's Lair' alone. Only Taranee, in her immense love for her best friend said that it was most likely to be fun and warned Will not to drink too much.
On the actual day, Phobos had looked magnificent. Still young and only a few weeks out of prison. His face had changed in the Tower of Mists, not aged, but matured. It had gained a knowing quality which had previously been arrogance. In long flowing blue robes and the crown of light on his forehead, Will's heart had skipped several beats. His blue eyes pierced the entire room. Many who attended feared him at the very least. But Phobos' fabled talent of seducing people won out in the end, and he even managed to entice a few cries of "Long live the King!" from the assembled crowd. Will had kept her mouth firmly shut. Decorum, distrust and slight awe stopped her from doing anything other than giving the new king his expected round of applause.
Celebrations had naturally followed, whether or not people wanted to celebrate Phobos' rise to power. Will was a young woman, and like any young woman she was expected to look beautiful, flirt and have a good time in general. It wasn't difficult, although he had only had a few weeks to prepare, Phobos had done his lavish nature justice. Jugglers, jesters, fire breathers, snake charmers, actors, dancers and every other kind of entertainer had set up camp in and around the palace. Music was played through the palace and all of the city of Meridian, the entire city going into party mode as fickle peasants will always do when someone good or evil throws a large celebration with ungodly amounts of wine involved. Doing the best to shrug off any forebodings, Will had dressed in a lilac robe which was tight and low cut enough to raise a few eyebrows from any Elders who had attended. Silver adorned her ears, arms, waist and hair. With as much intensity as she could muster, she threw herself into the fray of jovial men and women.
Phobos himself was restrained and seemed to watch the celebrations he had put in place rather than enjoy them and for the most part either chatted or stood silently watching others, while sipping whatever alcohol a servant had poured into his goblet. It wasn't until the third day of the seemingly never ending party that Will had taken a break from dancing and began admiring some of the pieces of artwork that had been hung around the main hall. She was looking at a landscape of what appeared to be a temple. The structure had been painted in a blurred fashion, the only part of the picture that had any true detail were the many vines of ivy that were winding up the temples walls and starting to break cracks in it's structure. Dozens of shades of green had been painted on, making the vines look real enough to touch. Hundreds of leaves had been added too, with deliberate care. After many talks from Hay Lin, who had started attending an art college, Will could appreciate how long it must have taken and how much effort went into it
Above the resounding din a voice had spoken, "What do you think of it?" Will had turned slowly, not sure who was behind her but thinking that they wouldn't like it if she greeted them with her mouth hanging open. Phobos had stood behind her. She had been small as a child, but had grown over the years to a respectable height, but even so Phobos was at least a head taller than her. Phobos gave a bow as she turned to look at him, "Forgive me if interrupted you." Will couldn't tell if he was genuinely apologizing for intruding upon her train of thought, or if he was mocking her because she had so obviously drifted off into a daydream. Although she guessed it was probably the former, Will decided to let it slide and treat it as an apology. She dropped a low curtsy which she wasn't sure Phobos deserved and smiled, "Not at all, I was merely looking at the impressive pieces you have." There you go, a compliment, now leave me alone, she thought inwardly. He made her feel awkward, it was hard, having to elevate a man to whom she had previously owed no respect or courtesy to the level of a King. Plus, like every other girl in the room, Will had to admit to herself that he was good looking, a fact she had never been aware of when she had been fighting him. A few seconds after Will remembered that she had been asked a question, so she stammered out something about it being a very thought provoking painting. Phobos however, rarely one to comply with anyone's wishes apart from his own, whether those wishes were voiced aloud or not, proceeded to ask her to elaborate. Deciding that if Phobos wanted a battle of wits, she'd give him one, Will answered, "It makes me think of politics. How if one man decides to seize power for himself he can, by using bribes, threats, blackmail and murder, so he eventually comes to power and the government becomes corrupt." Phobos pondered this, "Then," he answered, "it could be taken that the artist is trying to insult someone, such a person who tried to seize power."
"Most likely," Will replied, a smile appearing on her face and silently cheering on the artist, who had been brave enough to insult Phobos. "Who was the artist?" It was Phobos turn to smirk,
"Elias Van Dal," he told her. Will paled slightly, remembering her meeting with the painter, who Phobos had imprisoned in his own work of art. Calling on several years of practice at witty banter Will ignored that comment, which was most likely to intimidate her and forced out a small laugh and said, " What is the life expectancy for one of your court painters, my lord? Better or worse than that, of say, a guardian?"
"Considerably worse, I think the longest running painter lasted about two years."
"I think I'll stick to being a guardian then." Phobos grinned,
"It would be wise." There was a glint in Phobos eye as he said it, which scared Will, but at the same time excited her, sending shivers up her spine. Making her excuses as fast as she could, Will made a hasty retreat from the King, but for the rest of celebrations she could almost always feel his eyes on her, and was left to debate with herself whether that was a good or bad thing and to silence the voices in her mind that wanted more from Phobos than stares.
After the three years of regency which passed without event (a fact that Will could attest to, since she had made frequent visits to Metamoor on behalf of Oracle), Phobos came into his own. There were a few complaints about high taxes and occasionally there was a suspicious murder, but all in all he did well and with his quick wit and admirable wisdom and cleverness, he had managed to slowly work his way into Oracle's good graces in the years since. An unsurprising fact as he had once told Will that the easiest way to get what you wanted was to please the person who could give it to you. If he had said it to her in previous years she would have taken it as treason, but it wasn't. So much had changed in the fifteen years since Will first became a guardian. Politics reigned more than it ever did, and Phobos words rang true. Political marriages, alliances and feuds were the norm. Will's own marriage had been decided by Oracle when she was twenty five. There were literally hordes of princes, kings, lords, counts , barons and other noblemen who wanted the Keeper's hand. But the fear of Candracar losing it's best warrior and Heart weighed on Oracle's mind. In the end, Oracle married her off to his friend, ally and member of Candracar's council, Endarno. Ever the dutiful guardian, Will had obeyed Oracle.
Walking on her own now, towards the gardens, Will reflected on her decision. No love existed between Endarno and herself, at least on her side of things. Mutual respect and admiration, bonds of loyalty and a devotion to Candracar. But love? Never. She could live with Endarno until she died, she could laugh with him, talk with him, sleep with him, but not love him. That simple truth was enough to make Will hate herself. Endarno was a loyal, intelligent, rich, good-looking man. He deserved someone who could love him, not someone who dreamed he was someone else when he touched her. Whether or not Endarno loved her was a mystery to Will, and she prayed that it would always remain that way, or that she would find out that his feelings where the same as hers, nonexistent.
As she walked outside, Will saw him with their daughter, Persephone. The three year old girl had fiery red hair that just about reached her shoulders. She was slightly rounded with a pretty smile and shining blue eyes. Everyone claimed it was a gift from the gods, that Will had conceived a child so quickly and predicted that she and Endarno would have more children. But there had only ever been Persephone. Persephone and Endarno seemed to be playing tag. Will simply stood and watched. Persephone's giggles and Endarno's deep laugh washing over her like waves. After a few minutes she called, "Who's winning?"
"Me!" Persephone called, sheer joy seeping out if her voice.
"Yes," Endarno agreed, "I'm being soundly beaten." Will laughed as susceptible as anyone to the heart warming sight. "Mama, will you play?" Persephone asked. Will shook her head,
"No, I've been on my feet all day, you'll have to remind me to make it up to you." It was half a lie, it was her mind, not her body that was tired. Endarno walked over to her when Persephone stopped chasing him and decided that her prey would instead be a butterfly that had flown into the garden.
"Have you heard?" he asked.
"About?"
"Phobos' visit to Candracar."
"Yes, Yan Lin told me as I was coming here. Everyone seems excited." Endarno nodded,
"At best it's a chance for a reformed man to thank Oracle in person for all his kindness."
"And at worst it's a chance to bring out the alcohol?" Will finished for him with a laugh.
"Exactly, well, at least we know Phobos can bring some good in the world." His hatred of Phobos ran deep, how much deeper would it run if Endarno knew the secrets Will kept in her heart under lock and key?
In an effort to lighten the mood, Will said, "Taranee arrived a few hours ago."
"How is she after her divorce?" Like Will, Taranee's marriage had been decided by Candracar. It was to a Lord from the west of Infinity. Everyone had had their own doubts about the match, not least Taranee herself. They were all proved right. It had lasted a total of two years before Taranee had screamed to her husband that he could burn in hell, and after turning her wedding dress and everything else her husband had given her to ashes, she left with the signed divorce papers in hand with reasons for divorce marked 'he's a piece of cheating, lying scum,' not bothering at all to consult Candracar. "She's the most cheerful I've seen her in years," Will answered. Endarno shook his head,
"We all knew it wouldn't last."
"I'm surprised Taranee didn't actually kill someone, she has a frightful temper."
"And very little regard for Candracar," Endarno added. Divorce, another difficult subject. Endarno didn't know, but hidden deep in one of Will's old robes were divorce papers that had her signature on it. She had just never had the courage to present them to him. She kept coming with reasons to avoid it, 'it's not the right time' or 'maybe I'll grow to love him' or the worst of the lot 'think of Persephone, he's her father'. the last was the worst of all, since it was such a blatant lie that Will wondered how all of Candracar didn't know that Endarno hadn't fathered her child.
Fear also crippled her. Endarno had never so much as play-slapped her. But his temper- Will shuddered. She had seen him, sentencing men to long periods in the Tower of Mists, while wives and children looked on. He was ruthless in his carrying out of Candracar's law. Which like every world, country, religion and cult, forbade adultery and unfaithfulness. What would Oracle do? Sheer fear lived in her, day in day out, that the men she laughed and talked with would one day turn against her.
….
A blur of servants greeted Phobos every morning. All of them had some problem about the upcoming trip to Candracar which needed his attention. After a week of this he yelled that all of them could think for themselves, so they had best start doing it or they could look for new jobs. He had never been a patient man, nor an understanding one. Phobos was a planner and above all a realist. He knew going to Candracar would win him favour with Oracle and it would give him an opportunity to win the hearts of those who still wanted him in prison. All he had to do was show great humility, drop a few compliments, tell every father that his son was handsome and would make a fine priest/warrior/councillor and tell every mother that her daughter would without a doubt be a beauty when she reached womanhood. Easy.
How easy Phobos could fool others, yet it was not so with himself. He had to admit, part of the reason he was going to Candracar was to see her, Will. He had heard that she had married Endarno on Oracle's orders. He hated Endarno as he was sure Endarno hated him. Even without love coming into it, Phobos was jealous by nature. Who could not help envy a man with such a wife as her? Beautiful, intelligent, brave, powerful and kind, Will could have been the daughter of a god.
Phobos couldn't help but remember the first time he made love to her, a year after he became king. She was on one of her regular visits to Meridian. He had come across her at the springs. A place were hot water came up from the earth, forming several pools. It was a place were he went regularly. She had met him, wrapped in a towel and he hadn't been able to take his eyes away from her. Over the previous year, they had fallen into the habit of trying to outwit the other at every turn, both always looking for the smartest remark, one that the other would be unable to reply to. Months ago Phobos had come to the conclusion that he desired her and he had simultaneously decided that he would resist acting on his lust by insulting/annoying the hell out of the guardian at every possible opportunity.
In accordance with the games they always played when their paths crossed, Will laughed, "Am I the only thing worth looking at here?"
"You have too high an opinion of your looks, there's simply no one else around to look at."
"You accuse me of having a high opinion of myself?" Will replied in amazement. Phobos caught the slight mocking tone. It never mattered how much he intimidated her, she'd never shown him anything other than indifference. For a year she had regularly smirked at him, listened to whatever cutting remark Phobos had said to her, then sent her own back to him. It irritated the king, who was accustomed to people fearing him. "You think to insult me in my own kingdom?" he replied, his voice getting gradually lower. Will raised her eyebrow,
"You think to scare me?'' If that was not a deliberate jibe, Phobos didn't know what was.
"Perhaps, you should learn to mind your tongue," he suggested. Will shrugged, her very aura weighed down with mocking, "Of course, I'd be happy to act upon any recommendations the King of Metamoor can give me… as soon as he learns to mind his temper." No matter how many times he recalled the scene, Phobos could never figure out if he had meant to strike her or kiss her. After raising his hand he found himself pulling her towards him and pressing his mouth on hers. He felt the guardians shock, but she dispelled it almost immediately and deepened the kiss. Moving her hands, Will had entwined her fingers in his hair. That had been his undoing. If she had pushed him away, nothing would ever have come of it. But when she had wrapped her arms around him the towel she wore fell. The feeling of her skin against his and the sight of her filled him with an immeasurable amount of lust and disposed of any instincts that told him that having sex with a representative from Candracar (and a guardian no less) was a bad idea.
Every time Will had touched him, every time she moaned or said his name, something awakened inside Phobos, something akin to a tidal wave of desire. There was lightening between them. A warm, strong bolt of electricity that ran through them both, becoming stronger with every gasp of pleasure. The very air they breathed was heavy with lust.
Afterwards she had smirked at him, "What would people say if they new their king gave in so easily?"
"I was under the impression you gave into me," Phobos answered. That was the moment, the moment he realized that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, that was when he fell. Hard. It hit him then that this was the girl who had defeated him, mocked him. Now she was the woman who cast a powerful spell, one of love over him. At that moment, his rational nature went into a brief coma and gave birth to a romantic, making part of Phobos wondered if this was he had waited for in the seven years since they met. It only took Phobos a few minutes to tell himself the he was being over dramatic, but it was true none the less. From then on, every time Will smiled, every time she flicked her hair over her shoulders served to send the King of Metamoor in a haze of love and desire.
Endarno had not simply taken a beautiful woman as his wife, it was more than that, he had taken the woman Phobos loved. As the news of their marriage reached him Phobos had been planning to appeal to Oracle for her hand. Will had left Meridian only weeks before, her scent had barely left the guest rooms when the messenger arrived. In startling evidence to his own cold heartedness, Phobos sent gifts to Candracar, to the 'happy couple', not daring to send so much as a note to Will.
In the three years since, he constantly asked himself, 'does she love him'? He prayed that the answer was no. His dreams were always the same, that she would abandon Endarno and come to Meridian, with or without Oracle's consent. It was selfish of him, as his dreams always were. Will had a daughter now, could he expect her to abandon her own child? No. He could want her to. But, as powerful as he was he couldn't make someone materialize out of thin air.
Phobos dreams had changed since the visit to Candracar had been decided. They were full of him walking in the gardens of Candracar and her running out to be with him then sneaking of to some secluded corner to be with each other, like two servants, afraid that their master would catch him. Then he'd catch himself, the realist in him taking over, she had her own duties to attend to, as did he. Besides, who knew if she still loved him?
That was how King Phobos set out for Candracar, his mind full of schemes for currying favour and half formed dreams that he told himself could never be. It was the first time in his life that he had never gone after something he wanted, and he could barely stand it.
….
"You are in serious trouble," Taranee told Will when they met to talk the night before Phobos arrived. They were sitting opposite each other, hot cups of mulled wine in their hands. Taranee was the only person she could talk to, the only person who knew everything about the entire situation. "Thanks, Tara, I actually didn't know that," Will said.
"Sorry. Are you going to tell them?"
"Who?"
"Phobos and Endarno." Taranee was pushing for an answer. She was pushing Will to do something. Taranee had the ability to read every thought Will formed, yet she always waited until Will voiced them.
As she'd done a million times before, Will wished she had Taranee's courage to simply up and leave. Will was too soft hearted , too dutiful to do it. " I don't know, the thought of telling Endarno, he-he loves Persephone." This was entirely Will's fault, she knew that. She should have told Endarno on their first night together, but she didn't, Will couldn't bare the thought of Endarno hating her, or her child.
"And Phobos?" Taranee asked.
"You can read my mind, do you really need me to tell you?"
"It's not the fact that you're telling me, it's that you're admitting it out loud." Will couldn't say it out loud. She'd never told anyone, ever. No one knew just how deceptive the red haired guardian truly was. It angered Will. She deserved to be hated for what she'd done for her selfish desires. "I can't."
"You can, you just don't want to." Will felt a rush of anger towards Taranee. It had been easy for Taranee, she had no children, there had been nothing to tie her to her husband, nothing. But Will felt as if she was chained to Endarno by iron shackles. Taranee hadn't had to live a lie for three years straight. Taranee hadn't prayed to any number of gods and goddesses for help. Anger forced her to say the words Taranee wanted her to say, "Fine! I want Phobos to know Persephone is his! Yes, I love him, when I'm with Endarno, I wish I was with him. And I wish I'd told Oracle to get lost and gone to Metamoor instead of marrying Endarno, are you happy?" Taranee looked at her friend and sensed her anger, reaching out, Taranee grabbed her hand. "Will, it's not what you think," she said softly, "I'm not trying to make you follow in my footsteps. I'm trying to make you see that you have to live your life. You are wasting away, look, you have lines under your eyes, you've lost weight, when you were going back and forth from Metamoor you always smiled."
Will didn't want to consider the truth of Taranee's words when she returned to her own rooms. If she did, her thoughts would soon go to Phobos and the time they'd spent together. She wouldn't think of his flaws, of how cruel he could be, how they could fire harsh words at each other, how unforgiving he could be. His mocking smile and quick temper wouldn't enter her mind. Thoughts of his handsome face, his laughter and his gentleness would fill her. If she had these thoughts when she saw him it would be her undoing. Endarno was all of those things, but Phobos was something more. As always, when she and Endarno made love that night, she thought of Phobos. Afterwards, as she had every other time, she hated herself for it.
Every noble was assembled in the main council hall, waiting for Phobos. Will and Taranee were the only guardians in attendance. Cornelia never forgave Candracar for placing Phobos in power. Hay Lin was pregnant and nearing her due date and Irma refused to be moved from her side. Will sat beside Endarno with Persephone beside her. The higher your rank the lower down you sat. So according to that rule, she and her family were at the lowest group of seats. Her clothes had been chosen carefully. A red robe with a white under robe. The red one had very little embroidery on it, some birds and a few flowers, all done in black. The jewellery she wore as always, was silver. Her attire was chosen for impact, with the red robe with the black flowers and birds she would be clearly distinguishable from the council members, who wore faded green. As the minutes ticked by Will grew even more nervous. Twisting her hands, she began making wild bargains inside her head. If I don't feel anything for him I'll never say a word against Candracar again. If I don't desire him I'll burn those divorce papers. If I don't want to run straight into his arms I'll-
As he walked in, all Will's fears came true in an instant. He hadn't changed. Phobos' presence was as powerful as it had always been. The sight of him made her throat grow dry. His hair hung down his back, tied so it wouldn't hit the floor and shining in the light. The way his clothes hung on him showed that he was as fit and able as ever, Will found herself dreaming of slowly peeling the clothes off him, but instantly stopped herself. She feared that the whole room would be able to hear her heart, which seemed to want to burst out of her chest and fly to Metamoor's king. All Candracar watched him with baited breath. Trying to arrange her face into an uninterested expression Will watched his eyes scan the room with a deliberate snails pace. Counting the seconds, she waited until his gaze reached her. One, two, three, four. Blue orbs identical to Persephone's looked across at her. Lightning ran down her spine as his eyes slid off her and he walked on. I still love you, Will told him silently as he walked towards Oracle. He bowed and as he spoke to Oracle Will felt shivers flow through her whole body, "I would like to thank you, your Eminence, for allowing me to come to your great fortress and thank all of Candracar for the warm welcome I have felt, truly, your hospitality is second to none." While Oracle and Phobos exchanged pleasantries Will wished it would end, so she could escape and be able to breath again.
On the opposite side of the room and in the second row up Taranee watched the king and her friend with more than idle interest. When Oracle started talking she let herself give in to her desire to dive into their minds. Not to read their thoughts, but merely to gauge their feelings. Will, although she hid it well, was giving every iota of attention she had to Phobos, whether or not he was speaking. When she did the same to the king she sensed Phobos' overwhelming desire to turn his head and look at her. As if infected by Phobos' thoughts Taranee turned and looked at Will. For the first time in years, Will's eyes were alight with inner passion. Taranee found herself in awe of her friends beauty. With little reluctance, Taranee let herself view Will through lustful eyes. She took in her red lips, her pale skin, the curve of her breasts, her slim waist. Taranee loved Will, loved Will so much that she would move heaven and earth if she could make her happy. The guardian of fire had given up any hopes of ever being with Will years ago and settled for being her sister, the one who knew everything about Will. The one Will always called for help, whether it was merely brushing her hair (the maids always tugged) or coming her side in a battle. Never one to respect Candracar, Taranee's quick mind began formulating a plan to throw the guardian and the king together.
It was impossible to get near her. Phobos had tried. But the onslaught of people was never ending. He had always hated public functions but had developed a talent for enduring mindless conversation. But the knowledge that she was in the same room robbed Phobos of all patience. He told himself to remain in control. He was doing well. Everyone he talked to seemed pleased with him. Every move and word Phobos spoke was premeditated. Except what he'd say if he saw her. Phobos knew what he wanted to say, but he didn't know what he must say, what she wanted him to say.
Out of the corner of his eye Phobos saw them. Will was on Endarno's arm and holding her daughter, Persephone's hand. The child looked sweet. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she was smiling her bright blue eyes darting about the room. Beautiful, soul piecing blue eyes…
"You never considered marriage?" Oracle's voice brought him back to reality with a bump. Was Oracle taunting him, or had the all seeing one not seen what transpired on Metamoor? Rumours abounded that ever since Phobos had temporarily removed him from power Oracle had become more human, weaker. It was apparently true to some degree. "I've never thought about settling down," Phobos told him, "the idea of raising a family has never really appealed to me." Actually, it has, Phobos growled mentally, just not with one of the whores you're likely to throw at me. Yes, the idea had seized him, violently, of what is life could have been like, had he made his intentions known. No one in the room, not even Taranee who could read someone better than Oracle could have known that Phobos was deep in thought. Thinking about his times with Will, and doing some quick mental arithmetic.
It was about half eleven when someone grabbed Phobos' arm and pulled him into a corner. Phobos didn't know who he thought it was, but he had a harsh remark ready for them. At the sight of the fire guardian he held them back. "Don't say anything," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper, "just do what I say." Recovering his senses, Phobos said, "Who do you think you are to command me?"
"Do you want to see Will or not?" Taranee hissed at him. That stopped Phobos. The meeting he'd been waiting for since he arrived had come to him, just not in the way he expected. "Fine, what do you have planned?"
"Sometime before midnight, make your excuses and leave. I know you're a capable liar, it shouldn't be difficult. Then go out to the water garden on the east side of the palace. You still know your way around I hope? It's been many years since your period as Oracle," Taranee instructed.
"I think I remember," Phobos replied, mentally thinking out the route and wondering why his life was being plagued with clichés, like 'two forbidden lovers meeting at midnight'.
"Good, she'll meet you there."
Just before midnight Will heard Taranee's voice in her ear. "If I were you," she whispered, "I'd go to the water garden." Will turned and walked a little away from the crowd who were enjoying wine and music.
"What?"
"Just thank your fairy godmother," Taranee smiled. Will looked her friend up and down, excitement beginning to bubble up inside of her. "It's midnight and your prince is waiting." Glancing around Will sought out Endarno. Persephone was in bed, and Will found that she already had a lie ready for her husband. Filled with an immense sense of gratitude for Taranee, Will embraced her, "I owe you one Tara."
"No you don't," Taranee told her, "just go and enjoy yourself, Cinderella." For a moment Will could have sworn that it was the mischievous Irma who stood in front of her, not Taranee. She saw something leap in Taranee's eyes and had a fleeting desire to hold her and tell her just how thankful she was, how confused and how guilty. But the moment passed and she strode purposefully towards Endarno. She put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry to interrupt."
"Not at all, what is it?" Endarno asked. No tone of suspicion lingered in him. Why should it? Will had always appeared to be the most loyal, obedient wife there was, exactly the way Candracar wanted her to be.
"It's too crowded in here. I'm afraid I'm going to abandon you and go for a walk, do you mind?"
"No," Endarno told her as he embraced her, "will you come back?"
"I think I'll just go straight to bed," Will lied as she returned his embrace.
A mixture of guilt and excitement flowed through Will as she came ever closer to the garden. Every footstep was quicker than the last until she almost found herself running. Briefly, the consequences of what she was doing flew across her mind. But she was drugged by desire which was slowly dulling every other sense. Every other sense except fear. The fear that his love for her had died, that he only wanted to clarify were the stood with each other. If he does that, I'll die, Will told herself. This was dramatic bordering on insane, she knew, but it was true. If Phobos met her only to reject her then some part of her, the part that could desire a man, that longed to please the one she loved could die. Besides that, for three years Will had been Duty in the flesh. If for one night, one hour, one minute, she could throw off that persona, then she would.
The garden was separated from the inside only by a silver curtain. Suddenly conscious of her trembling hand, Will pulled back the divide. As she stepped outside she glanced around for Phobos. The garden was beautiful even at night. A stream ran through and around it with several little bridges over it. White stone pillars lined either side of a waterfall on the right side. Then on the left there was a colossal three floored fountain, also of white stone. At the base it was big enough to be able to fit five people lying down. All around these features there were flowers. Lilies, roses, and other flowers the Will couldn't name as they didn't come from Earth. As she looked around she couldn't see Phobos. Instantly her heart fell and tears began to form. She was about to leave when a familiar voice told her, "Don't go. I'm here." It was as if her mind had gone into slow motion. First she heard him then slowly from left side of the garden he slipped into her vision. "I thought you hadn't come," Will confessed as he stood beside her.
"I'm a man of my word," Phobos said, "for the most part." If there hadn't been a gap of three years and a husband between them Will would have laughed and teased him. Time had ebbed at her confidence and Will was feeling more and more like the thirteen year old who had faced the tyrant prince in the throne room with princess Elyon. Just like that day, a hollow silence swirled around Will. It was an unwilling silence, one that was waiting for someone to destroy it.
Phobos turned to her, the first to break the stale mate, "Have we truly been apart for so long?" Will blinked,
"What do you mean?" Phobos sighed, not an impatient sigh but a defeated one,
"I can't read you any more, I used to know what you thought by the way you moved or looked. Yet now I find myself unable to so much as guess what you are thinking." Will met his eyes, hoping to communicate some of her feelings, "It's been too long. Look at me now, Phobos, and read me as you do everyone who speaks to you. What do you see?"
Will watched his eyes roam over her and felt nerves overtake her.
"Are you - afraid of me?" Phobos asked. The hard face that had watched many be tortured and killed changed. Will saw it and Phobos felt it. An easing of the muscles that made him feel like he had been running a great distance and had just been given a drink. "I'm afraid of what you can do to me," Will answered, forcing herself to look at the fountain, the flowers, anywhere but him. She couldn't see it but at that moment Phobos reached out for her, his hand trailed along the sash of her robe, gently letting the material run through his fingers. After a few seconds he caught himself and withdrew his hand. "What do you mean? Have you been here so long that you'd think I'd hurt you?" Suspicion edged his voice. They started walking, not paying attention to were they were going. Will chose her words carefully, "Not intentionally. But think! One word from you could destroy me. If you told me you hated me, I'd-I'd break." The words "Like you once hated me," hung in the air. The king and the guardian felt them though, they sunk into their cores and made them both feel sharp pain. Not physical, or emotional, but something in between that made their words and their breath catch in their throats.
Phobos wasn't a fairytale prince, rather the polar opposite. A fairytale prince would make a long speech, declaring his undying love for his (unmarried) princess, then proceed to kiss her slowly and passionately. But he wasn't and he wouldn't. Instead he just drew Will to him and held her. Phobos could feel her heart beating against his chest. Lust would come soon, very soon. But at that moment, Phobos felt only compassion and love, a rare occurrence for him. "I could never hate you, fool," he whispered. He buried his face in her hair, letting thousands of memories overflow him. How odd, that he should be the kind loving one, when he had always been the one who needed Will to assure him of her love.
More to himself than anything Phobos muttered, "What are we going to do?" Will lifted her head from were she had been resting it. As soon as she touched Phobos, something in her changed. Her eyes blazed as she looked at him, "Not tonight," she whispered, her voice heavy, "the serious talks are for tomorrow, not tonight." Phobos nodded and started walking, his arm around her waist, leading her. Will followed. Both knew their destination and by the time they arrived at Phobos' rooms both had silenced any doubts that plagued them. For the first time in a long time, Will felt free. Of Candracar, Endarno, everything. So when Phobos asked her later in between kisses, what she was going to tell Endarno, she responded, "I don't care."
….
"Where were you last night?" Endarno asked when he saw her. Will's heart froze for a split second.
"I went out to one of the libraries to get some peace and feel asleep. I'm sorry, did you worry?" Her frozen organ started pumping again and the blood flowed to her cheeks, betraying a blush. Even in her own apartments, in Endarno's presence, Phobos seemed claustrophobically close. "A little. Have you spoken to Oracle this morning?"
"No." Will sat down in a cushioned chair, Endarno was a few metres away at his desk, reading over some papers which were most likely in some foreign language Will couldn't read. "Have you?"
"Yes, he's in the finest mood I've seen him in a long time. Happy that his faith in Phobos reformation was not misplaced," Endarno said the words as if they were dirty on his tongue and he wanted to wash them off. Will nodded. If she had been unbiased, she would have told Endarno that he was twice the man Phobos was, or go over and put her arms around him. Instead, she said, "Then all of Candracar has reason to celebrate." Will's own words tasted sour in her mouth. If Oracle favoured Phobos, then he would take up more and more of the king's time. Will found herself wishing for another day, another night with him, and cursed Oracle for his mentoring like behaviour towards Phobos. Why couldn't Oracle mistrust Phobos, as Endarno so obviously did? "You don't sound to pleased about that," Endarno commented.
"I am," Will answered, "It's just, things are changing so fast. Politics rules all. There might as well not be guardians." Endarno laughed dryly,
"Believe me, if these foolish lords keep to their current ways, we will need guardians again. Maybe we could ask Phobos if he could make another bid for Oracle," Endarno laughed coldly, exposing his immense hatred for Phobos. Will's breath caught in her throat. What would Endarno do to her, if he discovered where Will had really spent the night? Phobos was practically untouchable, as he had been when the Veil stood as protection for Candracar against him. But Will was completely at Candracar's mercy. She could see herself imprisoned, alone in a tomb as her predecessor Nercissa her been, her powers stolen and useless.
…
"Last night was boring Mama," Persephone said. Will sat in Persephone's room, her daughter beside her, one of her dolls in hand. "I know sweetheart," Will said.
"Did you talk to the king?" Persephone asked. Will looked down at her daughter. She had never appreciated how like Phobos she was. Not just her eyes, but her character. Persephone loved to learn and was a planner, listening intently when Endarno showed her how to play chess and showing early signs of being a master at it when she was older. She could twist servants around her little finger, managing to get herself out of many situations, only getting punished when either Will or Endarno stepped in. "No," Will answered, "I knew him though.""Really?"
"Yes," Will smiled, relishing a chance to talk about Phobos to someone who couldn't condemn her for it. "He's clever and can be cruel. But he can also be loving and kind. He'll never explain his motives to someone, but he'll let them work it out for themselves. Phobos never lets other's opinions affect him, he never has. He's a strong enemy," Will smiled, "but a fierce ally." Persephone nodded.
Like children often do, Persephone changed the subject abruptly. "Mama, will you sing for me?" Will pulled her daughter onto her lap. "Of course, darling, what would you like to hear?"
"The one about the fisherman and his wife," Persephone commanded. In her travels to other worlds, Will had heard many lullabies and ballads, many of which she shared with her daughter.
"Alright." Will sang the familiar words as her daughter listened.
"An old fisher man said to his old wife,
I'm going to the bar on the other side of the bay,
His wife answered,
Go, I don't care who's company you keep,
As long as you drown when you return the way." Persephone laughed. The irony of her singing this song, about an unfaithful spouse to her daughter who was conceived out of wedlock wasn't lost on Will.
Will could remember discovering she was pregnant, mere days before she married Endarno. None of her friends had arrived on Candracar yet, and she had felt like an animal in a cage. She couldn't have left. You needed Oracle's consent to travel between worlds and telling the truth was out of the question. Candracar would either insist she end the pregnancy, or would disgrace her. Oracle had a soft spot for Will but he would never let the Heart pass out of Candracar's hands.
So Will had schemed and plotted. Never had her personality been further from that of the young guardian who had looked down on Phobos for his talent at lying. She made love to Endarno, faked pleasure and waited until he'd fallen asleep. Then she pulled a knife she had hidden under the mattress out from underneath her. With great care, she sliced the blade across her finger and let drops of blood fall were she and Endarno had lain together. She had waited for a month, then told Endarno with her eyes downcast that she was with child, hoping he'd take her shyness for humility, not fear.
The birth had been long and painful. Will had half been in a delirium as Persephone had slipped from her. Endarno has told her that she must have been reliving one of her battles from the past, as at one point she had screamed Phobos name. Will agreed with him, and thanked the gods that Endarno hadn't guessed that Will really was calling out for her lover. She had wanted him beside her instead of Endarno. Phobos should have been the one encouraging her, telling her that she was doing well, that she only need to push once more. Endarno had held her hand, but Will knew that Phobos would have also stroked her hair, kissed her forehead and told her that her loved her. Will had been the one to name the new born girl. She chose Persephone, because she remembered the story of the goddess Demeter's daughter, doomed to spend half the year in the darkness of Hades with her husband. The other half above ground in the sun. Her daughter was named out of Will's desire to walk with the people she loved, not the husband she was forced to marry.
As Will held her daughter, she could smell Persephone's hair. Love overwhelmed her. Until she gave birth to Persephone, she had never loved so completely. Not even Phobos could compete with her daughter. Will had insisted that she wouldn't have a wet nurse and breast fed the child herself. Will sang another song as Persephone leaned against her chest. It was a Metamoorian lullaby that Phobos had told her his nurse had sung to him. It wasn't in English, but Will had told Persephone what it meant countless times.
"Be still my child,
Don't fear the dark,
Or what waits in tomorrow,
Because my arms will stay around you always,
Even when the end comes,
My love will stay, everlasting."
….
Taranee was among those who greeted Phobos that morning. When there was no chance of being over heard she had felt the prince's rough grip on her arm. "Why?" Phobos asked. Taranee looked at him.
"Will is like my sister, she deserves some happiness, however brief."
"If you tell anyone-"
"Death will be my reward?" Taranee snapped, reading his thoughts, "I know. But know this, if you hurt Will, you will taste the fires of hell before you die, as well as after." Phobos smirked, never one to show shock or fear, and said,
"So we're in each other's hands then."
…
It was the fifth and second last day of Phobos stay, when he and Will had both made excuses to miss the afternoon's activities and went off to be together. For fear of being caught, their love making was quick and silent. It wasn't until Will's head was resting on his shoulder and their breathing had slowed that Phobos said, "Where's your daughter?"
"Napping," Will answered, "all these constant festivities tire her." Phobos nodded. Should he voice his suspicions out loud? He decided to test Will further, to see if she would tell him without being asked.
"She looks like you."
"I've been told, hopefully, she'll have better luck," his lover's answer was short. Phobos sighed,"She's beautiful, you and Endarno must be proud." Something in Phobos' tone betrayed him. Will wrapped a sheet around her body with lightning quickness and stood up. "That," She muttered, "was cruel, even for you." Phobos raised an eyebrow, "I was merely commenting on your daughter, is that so wrong?"
"Don't try to play games with me," Will warned. Her knowledge of the prince ran deep, so deep that she could more often than not tell when he was lying. She knew his voice and look to be one of probing, one designed to pull information out of her. Will was incensed and Phobos regretted his words. Instead of apologizing, he whispered, "She's mine, isn't she?" He watched as Will's face paled and she dropped back onto the bed. "When did you figure it out?"
"The first night I arrived here," Phobos said simply, "I roughly worked out the time difference between the last time we slept together and her birth." Phobos bit his lip. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you marry him?" Anger started slipping into his voice. Will heard it and trembled.
"Would you have had her declared a bastard by Candracar, would you have had me shamed like that? She could have been taken away from me! I couldn't have her losing both parents!"
"So hiding my daughter from me was the best choice was it ?"
Will glared at him. "What would you have done if you were me?"
"Didn't you think that I had a right to know I had a child?" Will shook her head as she got up and began pulling her clothes on, "Even if I had told you, what could you have done?"
"I would have demanded to be allowed to marry you and raise my daughter."
"Oracle would never have let you." Phobos laughed at that,
"Yes, and I have always placed such store by Oracle's desires." Will let out a scream of frustration, forgetting that they had both agreed to be quiet so as not to be found together. "You don't understand!" Dressed and moving for the door Will turned her back on him. Now trying to pull his own robes on, Phobos used his power to lock the door before Will could get to it. Spinning around, Will sent him a death stare. "Open this door, now."
A lesser man would have obeyed her immediately. Making the Keeper of the Heart angry was never a wise decision, but Phobos knew her to well. If she was going to attack him, she'd have to be much angrier and he'd most likely already be nursing some broken bones. "Not until you tell me what I apparently don't understand," Phobos answered calmly, meeting her eyes as his robe slipped over his head. Throwing her hands up in exasperation, Will yelled, "Do you have any idea what would have happened to me? Candracar would have-"
"Disgraced you? Stained your otherwise flawless record?" If Will's own temper hadn't been so flared up, she would have noticed how cold and hard Phobos' voice had become and would have recognised it as a warning sign to quit while she was ahead, but she didn't appear to sense Phobos own anger, and if she did Will didn't show or act like it. "You fool!" she spat at him. Turning to the door again Will tried to use her own power to open it, but her mind couldn't concentrate, so all she could do was pull angrily at the door knob. Phobos walked over and pulled her away from the door, preventing Will from catching the attention of the guards outside. "You forget," he told her coldly, his hand holding her forearm in a vice grip, "that you destroyed your own reputation the first time you slept with me."
"Is that want you think, that I kept my daughter away from you because I was afraid of what people would say?" Will smiled ruefully, "well, perhaps I've finally met someone who has a lower opinion of me than I do." Dark brown eyes met light blue ones, and Phobos found that the fury in Will's eyes was slowly melting away to sorrow, tears started slipping down her cheeks. "Haven't you ever wondered why it was so easy for you to impersonate Endarno?" Will asked. Before Phobos could say anything Will went on, "Because he can be as cruel and as ruthless as you are. I was afraid of him, of the council members, who are famous for their harsh treatment of traitors."
"You wouldn't have been considered a traitor," Phobos said, not believing the words that came from his own mouth. Will almost laughed at that, despite her tears, "Having an affair with Phobos, a man who went as far as to banish Oracle himself? What would you call that?"
For a few moments, they stared at each other. The truth and sense of what Will had done started to descend on Phobos. What would he have done if he had been Will? Consign himself to the Tower of Mists? Risk losing his child? No, Will acted exactly as he would have done, perhaps better, if Phobos was being really honest with himself. "You're hurting me," Will whispered, gesturing to Phobos hand, which was still gripping her arm. "I'm sorry," Phobos said and released her. Lifting his hand, he wiped the tears from her cheeks, shame starting to work it's way through his mind. "It doesn't matter," Will sighed. This was only the second time she'd cried in front of Phobos. The first had been when he had been in possession of Endarno's body and had been trying to force her to give him the Heart. Following that train of thought, Will mused out loud, "You were right you know."
"What?" Phobos asked, confused.
"About Candracar. It has only brought me suffering." The tears started coming faster and Will threw herself at Phobos who's arms automatically snaked around her. It took Phobos a few seconds to catch onto what she was talking about. Then with white hot ferocity, their exchange that day over ten years ago came to him. "Will, you know that I had no idea what I was talking about," he mumbled into her ear, "it was completely false, it was designed to scare and hurt you, I'm sorry." How many times am I going to have to say that today? Phobos wondered. "That's what Oracle said," Will choked out. Phobos sat down on the edge of the bed, Will on his lap, her head on his shoulder. The feeling of every sob, every ragged breath hurt the King of the Metaworld like a physical blow. Idiot, he berated himself, they should put you back in the Tower of Mists and throw away the key. It was the first time Phobos had ever admitted to himself that something he'd done in that past had been wrong. He didn't care about the pain he'd caused Elyon, the other guardians, or anyone else. But every taunt, torment and insult he'd said to Will as the prince of Meridian was hitting his mind like hail.
"I wasn't talking to you, little girl!"
"The Keeper has demonstrated that she can't be trusted."
"Your role is just like Nerissa's! And you know perfectly well how the Heart corrupted her!"
"That's what will happen when I become Oracle…"
"You'll be all alone!"
Rocking her back and forth like a mother would a toddler, Phobos swore that if he ever met his younger self he'd kill the upstart fool, slowly. "I'm sorry," he whispered again. Phobos waited until her body had stilled and her sobs had subsided before he lifted her chin with his finger so she could look at him, "I'll never regret anything I've done," he told her, "except when I hurt you. Nothing else." Will replied,"I've never asked you to do that." Phobos smiled, the knot that had made it's home in his stomach loosening, "Thank you."
Stillness set in for an unknown period of time. It could have been seconds or hours, neither would ever be able to remember. Will rested on Phobos' chest, her hands feeling every beat his heart made, while Phobos fingers twisted random strands of her hair, before letting that piece of hair go and starting on another. With his free hand he stroked her arm, were he was positive his fingers had made an imprint. "Can I ask you something?" Phobos breathed, breaking the silence.
"Yes?"
"I want to see her, Persephone." It wasn't a request or an order, it was a fact Phobos placed in front of Will, for her to do with as she pleased. Will sighed, knowing what she'd known from the first moment Phobos had reached out for her five years ago, that she'd never be able to refuse him anything ever again. "Of course."
Then she added, with amazing daring considering her situation. "Lets do it now, while everyone's busy."