Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.
Summary: As far as she is concerned, Andre Harris is perfect. Perfect and nice and handsome and not hers. Never hers. AndreCat, RobbieCat, oneshot
This is a first for me! I never really thought of writing an AndreCat, but my friend Berry's Ambitions suggested it. I know it's probably not what she expected when I told her I was going to write the AndreCat, but this was the direction the fic took me. The summary's changed more times than usual, because the fic was kind of unpredictible when I was writing it. And I kind of like it, now that I look over it. I actually…dunno about this. I really hope that y'all enjoy this fic. I'd love to hear your reviews and opinions and whatnot. Thanks for reading!
Vacancy
"I love you, Andre."
He grins, brighter than the sun.
"I love you, too."
Cat smiles.
She has to smile, really. Why not smile? The world is a cruel enough place, to not be able to smile would be equally as cruel.
Sometimes, though, she wants to be mad, wants to be cruel.
But she can't.
Cat smiles, even when her heart breaks.
She supposes everyone thinks she's stupid. She hears the rumors, hears the way people talk about her. How she's seemed to have gotten worse.
It's easy to ignore them - she's stupid, right?
Cat believes the only one who doesn't think she's stupid is Andre.
And Andre is nice. Amazing, really. Most people go for Beck, but she finds that her tastes lie in the songwriter. She can't put her finger on just one thing she likes about him - his smile, his laugh, his sense of humor. He treats her the way she likes, with grins and jokes and no talking down to her.
Andre Harris is perfect.
She doesn't really remember her reaction to Tori's arrival at Hollywood Arts.
Cat recalls she was excited. Tori was talented and seemed nice and she thought that maybe they could be friends.
She knew that they had their differences - the cheese fountain and Danny being at the forefront of her mind - but they were good friends. Their friendship had gone through a lot of things, and that had strengthened it, Cat believes.
As much as their friendship means to her, it still hurts to see how Andre looks at Tori.
"Hey, Little Red, what's up?"
"Andre!" A laugh. "I've got some of my brother's special strudel, you want some?"
"I think I'm still recovering from his special hamburgers, Cat." He rubs his stomach to emphasize, laughing all the while.
She doesn't think how much that laugh makes her heart flutter and crash at the same time.
"Hey, Cat, wanna go see a movie?"
"Maybe, Robbie! I dunno!"
"Okay, just let me know…"
She sees Beck and Jade together, and thinks that they look perfect.
Cat wishes that she could look that perfect, hand in hand, with someone, with…
She tries not to think with Andre.
People underestimate her.
They look at her and automatically think she can't string a sentence together - of course, she's done a good job with propagating that viewpoint, but still - and they think that she's just in Hollywood Arts because she got in on luck.
But when she holds the microphone up to her mouth and sings, she takes pride in the looks of disbelief on their faces.
When she gets up on stage and acts her heart out, she swells with joy at the stunned looks on the audience's faces.
However, there's one person who doesn't give her that look, the one that says, "I couldn't believe how good you were!"
He comes up to her with a friendly smile after all her shows, pressing a warm hand against her shoulder, "Amazing, Cat."
And she smiles.
She thinks that maybe Andre is the one - the only one - for which she performs.
Cat realizes she's in love with him one day, when it rains buckets and thunders so loudly the trees shake and lightning cracks across the sky so brightly it blinds her.
The whole thing sounds cliché, but she is worried - so, so worried - because it is raining hard and Andre is never late and the bell is about to ring for their first class.
She thinks that maybe something happened, and this worries her more than it should. More than she thinks it should.
But before she knows it, her feet are moving, her hands are gripping the door handle and pushing it open. She steps outside, just so she is covered by the roof that hangs over the doors, and watches.
She hadn't realized what she was watching for until he appeared, soaked through and holding his jacket to his body. She feels her heart still in her chest, flailing weakly as she thinks, Oh, good. He's okay. And a relief, a lightness, settles over her, almost like she is being coated in feathers.
"Cat," he says upon seeing her, "what are you doing out here?"
She gives him her best smile - her brightest - and says, "Making sure you were okay."
He smiles and presses his palm to her shoulder, "Thanks."
That's all she can ask for.
"Hey, Cat, wanna go out?"
She purses her lips, but then gives a little smile, "Sorry, Robbie. I'm…ah…sick."
She's not lying.
Heartsickness is a valid excuse in her book.
She watches them, sometimes.
It is rather pathetic, she realizes, she knows that she shouldn't care so much about whether they are talking or not, but she finds that it obsesses her to no end. That the endless sound of her making him laugh is on replay in her mind. The sound should be cheerful music, but she can feel nothing but sadness as she watches them.
Tori says something, and Andre laughs.
Tori does something silly, and Andre laughs.
But there are times when Tori does absolutely nothing and Andre still stares at her as if she holds the world in the palm of her hand.
Cat thinks that those times are the worst.
"Andre," she starts, her eyes wide and impossible in her head. "Andre…"
He turns to face her, a strange looking smile on his face, "Yeah?"
"Are you and Tori…"
He looks hurt for a moment, his clear eyes becoming cloudy and his mouth setting in an odd line, "Yeah."
She wants to say the words, she desperately wants to say congratulations. But she is selfish, and she has to at least say it once.
"I love you, Andre."
He grins, and his eyes seem a bit more watery than before.
"Love you, too, Little Red," he replies. It is in the way he would tell a child, and not the way of fiery declarations in the rain that she had so long dreamed of.
Those words stay in her head, though.
Telling him wasn't the great idea she thought it was.
"Let's go out, Robbie."
The smile on his face is almost worth it.
Robbie becomes her boyfriend.
He's kind and he smiles and her and makes her laugh. He asks her out and she absentmindedly says yes and things go downhill from there.
There's nothing that she can do. Maybe this will help with the pain. Maybe she just needs to keep her attention on something else and then the whole thing with Andre will subside.
She tries.
It seems useless.
"Hey, Cat."
It is their first encounter since her confession.
"Andre," she says, smiling. She wonders when it started, that she could actually recognize the love in her voice when she says his name. She finds that she hates herself for it.
"How are things?" he asks.
"Fine," she replies. "Robbie and I are going to eat tonight."
A pause, then a nail in the coffin by her own hand.
"Would you and Tori like to join?"
She doesn't think he's going to accept, but he smiles.
"Sure, I haven't been seeing much of you lately, so why not?"
Why not, she wonders as she watches him walk away.
She can think of plenty of reasons why not.
Robbie picks her up that night, kisses her on the cheek, and presents her with flowers.
Sunflowers, she observes.
"What flowers do you like, Little Red?"
"Lilies are my favorite!"
They drive to the restaurant in silence.
The food is good; the atmosphere is tense.
Andre and Tori smile at each other and make jokes. Robbie left Rex at his house and tries to hold Cat's hand under the table every now and then. She relents, but his palms are sweaty and it makes her uncomfortable.
It's okay, she tells herself. You'll be fine. You're okay.
Tori kisses Andre squarely on the lips before she heads to the bathroom for a little "touch up."
Cat thinks she handled the first half of the date rather well until Robbie whimpers.
She finds that she was crushing his fingers with her frustrated, viselike grip.
Robbie still sits with her at lunch, smiling and holding her hand and telling jokes. She thinks he understands her predicament, but he won't say anything. She's grateful. She thinks Robbie might be a bit confused himself, with how he looks at every other girl in the world. Sometimes he looks at her, though, and she thinks she sees the way that Andre looks at Tori.
And it scares her.
"I love you, Andre."
He grins, brighter than the sun.
"I love you, too."
Cat clenches her fists so tightly that they tremble before she darts away, leaving the couple to their proclamations of endearment.
Andre's arm accidentally brushes hers during dance practice.
Her skin crawls with electricity.
Cat forces herself to think of Robbie.
Her time comes at Robbie's house.
She's sitting on his couch and has just made some kind of comment at the television program they are watching. The comment itself is haphazard, a throwaway kind of thing, but it makes him laugh.
After the laughter subsides, he sighs, "I love you, Cat."
She tenses exactly like her namesake and feels the hair prickle on her arms.
Cat's not ready. She knows she's not ready. For this. For anything. She can't tell him she loves him when she's not sure if she means it or not. Not when her heart still thuds when Andre's name is merely mentioned. Not when she still has fits over him in the darkness of her room. Not when she…
Robbie's hand is over hers and his eyes are understanding, "I know, Cat. I know. You don't have to say it if you don't want to. I know."
She breathes deeply, a weight off her chest, but tears well in her eyes anyway.
He gathers her in his arms and lets her bury her head in his chest
She truly doesn't deserve him.
The days pass.
Her heart doesn't seem to realize she's not with Andre, but she knows that it will take time.
Little by little, the thudding seems to subside.
Little by little, her reactions are for Robbie.
Cat knows that she won't stop loving Andre, but she knows that maybe - just maybe - she can start loving someone else.
Cat waits, smiling still, for the day she can say I love you to Robbie.
Cat waits for the day she will mean it.
End.