What it means to date a solider? Well, it seems the first thing that becomes apparent to you is that soldiers don't settle down. Soldiers, you see, will up and move, will up and go, will up and leave at a moment's notice. This soldier—thank god—comes back. Bond tours. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, six weeks. But she doesn't have roots like you do. Sometimes you think maybe you can become her roots. She does, in the end, come back to you. Shallow roots, but roots all the same. Soldiers too, you learn quite quickly, never stop being soldiers. Not really. A dance at the Jewel Box or a trip to the movies, she's in that uniform—which, lest others misunderstand, you don't really mind, exactly. She does look good in green, after all. You do find that hat quite cute, after all. There is something about a girl in a tie, after all. But a soldier's a soldier and you find yourself constantly learning what that means to you, for you.
Dating a soldier does come with other things- it pleases you to make especially clear- outside of the looming anxiety of departure and the constant representation of all-too-important occupation. A solider, for example, is efficient. A soldier, for example, is strong. A soldier, for example, sets out to finish what she starts. You can learn a lot from your soldier and you're happy to be the student here (because, well, let's just say you're a kinesthetic learner) (and truthfully a visual learner, too) (and hell, you don't really have a problem with auditory learning either) (luckily, your teacher is very understanding of this). Your soldier also has the fairly wonderful trait of, in addition to being a pretty great teacher, being a particularly fast learner in the subject of "you". Her efficiency, her strength, her determined nature do not hinder in any way her flexibility in action to achieve success. Ability to respond quickly and effectively, of course, also falls under her special skills section. You also happen to be a fast learner and you also happen to find you have strength in efficiency and you also happen to have the ability to hold strong scary things in your hands and treat them with the utmost care and attention they deserve. You make a good team, your soldier and you. Maybe, you think to yourself, you should have considered this sort of thing earlier. But of course not, you think to yourself again, because you like to think your soldier is special. This soldier is not every soldier. She respectfully reminds you of this behind closed doors. You don't hate the reminders. Reminders turn into assurances and assurances turn into memories burned into the back of your mind.
It somehow turns out that even when she's away, you find yourself thinking of nothing but her. Another perk of all her training, you suppose. You close your eyes and you can still see her there. In your mind's eye you can count her eyelashes, which you are for some reason especially enamored with. You can't help but smile at the thought of that dimple in her chin- another something you miss a little more than you should. The arches of your feet ache for the touch her hands and if you close your eyes tight enough you can almost feel their soft massage. You mindlessly twirl your hair around your fingers as you think of the wispy brown curls at the nape of her neck. You bite your tongue at the phantom feeling of her hands on your waist, on your back, on your thighs. Every breath in feels as though it came out of her mouth and into yours. Her voice becomes your lullaby. Her warmth becomes your blanket. She remains so clear to you, you almost convince yourself that when you wake up you'll find her hand lying across your stomach and her knees puzzled in perfectly with the backs of yours.
But then you wake up. Maybe you won't go into work today. Just today. Maybe you can just stay in bed.
What it really means to date a soldier? It means she's gone, away, left. You can't call her and you can't write her and you don't know when you'll see her again. The words "if ever" cross your mind more than once (more than twice) but you quickly brush them away. You're proud of her and you are happy for her, you are, you really are. But dammit if you're not scared for her, too.
Dating a soldier means quiet. Dating a soldier means secret. Dating a soldier means careful. Dating a soldier means goodbye without knowing of a hello to follow. Dating a solider means career comes first. Dating a soldier means it's all she's trained for. Dating a solider means opening up then shutting back down.
Dating a solider—dating this soldier—means never really knowing the line between dreaming and reality if you ever did at all.