Another story from "Distraction". This one takes place a few months after the reunion at the Casino Hotel.
Summary: Sakura, Kakashi and company are celebrating Konoha's first Halloween. Toddlers, ghosts, ninja and lots of candy. (Distraction sequel)
Yeah – it's a little late… I got halfway through this and realized the plot I had mapped out wasn't going to work. But I finally ironed it out. I like Halloween stories though, so I'm going to post it. This is a short multi-chapter fic.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto.
Oh, and repeat the following one hundred times: Kakashi revival no Jutsu! Kakashi will not die!
Please review!
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Chapter 1 - Costumes
Halloween was new to the resident of Konoha, but everyone wanted to celebrate. As stores stocked up on fifty-count bags of miniature candy-bars and pumpkin shaped candies others carved pumpkins into scary faces and hung streamers of orange and black. The talk around town consisted of what costumes people would be wearing and for the children, how much candy they would fill their bags with. The local TV station broadcast cartoons and documentaries about ghosts while the theaters advertised all-night showings of the scariest movies ever made.
Sakura had been looking forward to Trick-or-Treating with five-year-old Obito and three-year-old Rin and judging by the way the two children were now running around the living room at full speed followed closely by a barking shi-tzu named Puppy, they were also excited. The two children, both with white hair like their father and green eyes like their mother, were running in a circle around the large room. Being careful to avoid the large display case Obito ran just fast enough to evade his little sister, laughing at her attempts to snatch at his shirt. Rin, in the meantime was panting and laughing at the same time. Being just a toddler, she didn't have the stamina yet of her older brother. However, she did have her mother's tenacity and refused to stop until she had tackled him.
"If you don't settle down then Obito will dress as a princess and Rin will be a black cat." Sakura stood up and threatened. She looked down at the two piles of clothing sitting on the coffee table. Obito ran up to the table, and without slowing down grabbed the pink, pointed princess hat with the pink streamers. Sticking it on his head he continued to race around the room.
"I'm a princess!" He yelled loudly.
"You are not a pincess!" Rin yelled in indignation, mispronouncing "princess". "Mommy! He took my hat! Make him give it back!"
"It's my hat now! You have to be the black cat!"
"I am not gonna to be some stupid cat!"
Sakura sat back down on the couch and put her head in her hands. They were usually not this wound up. It was like someone had…
"Sakura?" Kakashi called to her as he walked into the living room carrying an empty bowl with ghosts painted on the side. "Where is the Halloween candy?" He tipped it upside down for emphasis.
Sakura sighed as she slumped off of the couch, landing on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. "Sakura isn't here right now. Please leave your name and contact info with the receptionist." She spoke in a monotone.
"We ate it daddy! Obito said we could!" Rin gave Kakashi a big toothy grin as she jumped up and down quickly in one place.
"I'm a princess daddy!" Obito declared proudly to his confused father, who for some reason went three shades paler.
"Obito, we told you to leave the candy alone." Kakashi lectured his grinning son.
"Yeah. You said, 'don't touch until Halloween' and today is Halloween so we touched it. It's okay, I didn't disobey orders captain!" He saluted Kakashi, then looked at the empty bowl. "There's more in the third drawer behind the granola bars."
"You… knew about that?" Sakura poked her head up over the coffee table. She had put some away in case they ran out. Sakura wasn't completely oblivious when it came to her children.
"Well, yeah." Obito started jumping up and down alongside Rin. "I'm a princess, I'm a princess, I'm a princess!" He chanted over and over.
"Obito, boys aren't princesses. They're princes." Kakashi leaned back against the wall and pulled his mask off.
"Sai's a princess." Obito stopped jumping and stared at his father.
Kakashi's eyes went wide with shock. He suddenly remembered the joke Sai had played on everyone a few months ago at the Casino Hotel during their reunion. He had led everyone to believe he was going to get a gender change operation. Sai was a master when it came to a straight-face and it made his jokes almost impossible to detect until the last minute. For some reason, Obito had taken a shine to the man and had followed him around asking questions or just watching him.
"Sai was joking, Obito." Kakashi said patiently.
"Like I am now?" Obito stepped back several paces out of Kakashi's reach as the man's face registered immense shock at his son's joke. Turned around he started banging his head on the wall.
"Mommy said! No blood on the walls!" Rin pointed her finger and yelled sternly at her father. Obito started laughing again.
"I thought kids couldn't understand that kind of abstract humor." Sakura said quietly to herself. Obito was nothing more than one surprise after another. She smiled proudly and stood up. "Who's ready to get dressed and go trick-or-treating!"
"Me!" Both children yelled and ran over to her.
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"I am not wearing that, Nami." Itachi spoke sternly and glared at her with his Sharingan activated.
"Don't you be using your eyes on me!" Nami snapped at him, and Itachi's eyes returned to their normal charcoal color. "Now, look at them. They have been waiting all day for this and you would break their hearts by refusing to play along for just one day. One day!"
Itachi looked at the children. Three three-year-old boys were sitting on the couch and two one-year-old girls were sitting in a playpen. The boys, whose names were Akira, Kazuki and Yasu were wearing yellow jumpsuits with hoods that had beaks and round eyes. The girls, who names were Mizuki and Tsukiko, were wearing padded white jumpsuits that had a large black zigzag around the neck and padded white hoods. Three chicks and two eggs. And five blank stares.
"They haven't a clue what's going on Nami. They're too young. And the girls are going to get too warm in those suits." Itachi tried to defend himself. He was really dreading dressing up. Why did he have to dress up anyway? If it was the kids who were trick-or-treating and not him then who cared what he was wearing? He might as well be naked.
"Of course they know what's going on. They're very excited." Nami said defensively.
"Hey You!" Itachi called to the children. They all looked at him and he gave a small smirk of satisfaction. His nickname for the kids was "Hey You" and so far they responded nicely when he used it. Nami kept telling him it was temporary and as soon as they found out what he was up to there would be a mutiny. He refused to believe her. Which, for some reason, always made Nami laugh hysterically.
"Do you know what today is?" Itachi asked in a kind voice.
"Trick-or-treat." The boys answered. The girls continued to stare at him.
"Okay, three out of five is not unanimous." Itachi argued.
"But it is still your children and you will dress up for them." Nami said ominously. She then turned to the boys, changing her voice to be kind and motherly, "Who wants to see daddy in a chicken outfit!"
"Me!" All three boys jumped off the couch and ran to Itachi, jumping up and down and running around him in circles. Their bare feet barely making any noise on the wood floor.
'Damnit!' Itachi cursed to himself as he grabbed the chicken outfit and left the room so he could change, 'Why did they make kids so cute? How was I ever able to say "no" to Sasuke back then but not my own children?' He glanced back at Nami as he exited the living room. She was already dressed as farmer in a long checkered dress with a white apron and whicker hat.
"The farmer's daughter look has its merits." He smirked at her.
"Well, be a good boy and get lots of candy and maybe the farmer's daughter will sneak out tonight and visit you." She winked at him.
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"It's undignified for the clan leader to be out 'trick-or-treating'." A stuffy looking white-eyed elder stood in front of Hinata. His long white kimono was wrapped tightly around his middle and his bare feed placed firmly on the ground. He stood with his arms folded over his chest and glared daggers at the woman in front of him. The elder's black hair was streaked with white and his face was deeply lined.
Hinata shook her head in disbelief. "Naruto, it's funny, but probably in bad taste." She gave a short laugh as the elder disappeared in a puff of smoke to be replaced by the blond ninja.
"Yeah, well, it serves him right for harassing you like that yesterday. I think I should masquerade as the old fart and do silly things." Naruto laughed harder as he thought of all the things he could do while dressed up as his nemesis. Like, tell off-color jokes, get drunk and say stupid things, or dance around throwing daisies. Pretty mild stuff, actually, compared to what Naruto would really like to do to the man, but it would embarrass him immensely. Which was just as satisfying.
"It wasn't that bad. I just told him to back off." Hinata smiled, remembering how upset the man had been. "I'm not missing Minato's first Halloween for anything, no matter how busy I am. Besides, father took about a hundred pictures of Minato in his little costume earlier. He thought it was so cute! And you know he never uses the word 'cute'. Ever."
They both looked down at their son, who was currently sitting on the floor building something with his plastic blocks. He was dressed in a reddish-brown fox costume that had nine tails attached to it. A hood covered his head and the top of it had a small fox-muzzle with teeth and black slanted eyes. Minato looked up at them and laughed, showing them the blue block he was holding. Tufts of blond hair peaked out from under the hood and his pale lavender, almost white, eyes and dimples made the dreaded fox seem… "cute".
"I wonder what Kyuubi would think if he saw this?" Naruto smiled.
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Sasuke lay back on the couch, his eyes closed. Attempting to relax he was suddenly jolted out of his meditative state when a voice next to his ear yelled "Father!" in a loud high pitched voice.
"What?" Sasuke sat up and stared at his five-year-old son. His voice had come out annoyed and angry and the boy frowned and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry." Sasuke sighed. "You startled me. Now, what's wrong?"
"Mother won't let me have any candy." He looked up at his father with sad eyes.
"Hikaru. Do you really think I can do anything about that?" Sasuke sighed again, then lifted his son up, putting him on his lap.
"She's got us wrapped around her fingers, huh?" Hikaru said, looking back down at the ground.
"Yep. It's the way of women, son. Learn it now, and learn it well." Sasuke spoke wisely as he stroked Hikaru's shoulder-length black hair. "Now go get your costume on. You're sure to get lots of candy tonight so don't be too down."
Hikaru jumped off his father's lap and smiled, then whispered, "I made a secret compartment in my candy bag to hide candy so Mother can't take it when we get back." The boy was very proud of himself.
"Good boy!" Sasuke gave his son a proud smile, then moaned after the boy left the room. The only person on Earth with a bigger sweet tooth than Itachi was probably Hikaru.
A short time later Hikaru returned to the living room, his two siblings and Mother in tow. Hikaru, as well as his three-year-old brother Noboru and one-year-old sister Mikoto were all dressed as vampires. Uran stood behind them in a long black dress also dressed as a vampire.
Sasuke sighed. "Do I really have to do this? I could stay here and watch the house."
"Sasuke, sweetie…" Uran gave him a demure smile, eyes open wide in a loving expression of forgiveness.
Sasuke and Hikaru cringed. They knew what was coming next.
"Get the hell into your costume! Now!" Uran yelled at the top of her lungs.
"Now!" Noboru pointed at his father and puffed out his cheeks, imitating his beloved mother's indignation.
"Da!" Mikoto just wanted to make lots of noise like everyone else.
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Waiting at the entrance of the Uchiha compound was Kisame. Dressed in his Akatsuki uniform and carrying a fake Samehada (the original had disappeared years ago) he talked to several kunoichi who had gathered around him. He had come up to Konoha for Halloween and offered to hand out candy while Itachi and Sasuke took their kids around.
Okay, actually, Konoha was the only place the tall, blue, shark-faced man could get a date. And he took advantage of that fact as often as he could. This was his fourth trip to Konoha this year and he was filling up his calendar fast. In fact, at this rate he was considering staying three weeks instead of two.
Although, at the moment, things weren't going so good.
"Is that make-up?" The short ghost asked in a cute little-girl voice.
"No."
"Are you standing on stilts?"
"No."
"Can you breathe underwater?"
"No."
"Can you…"
Kisame quickly interrupted her by stuffing candy into the bag she was clutching possessively in her hands, "Here! Go away!" He leaned back against the Uchiha compound gate and sighed. Worried about vandalism, Sasuke didn't want anyone entering the reconstructed compound because of all the empty houses. So here Kisame stood, at the gate, handing out candy.
Hearing more voices he looked down the street and saw some teenagers approaching. 'Good.' He thought to himself, 'I could use some near-adult conversation.'
"Wow! That's a really good make-up job!" A girl in a pirate costume said excitedly.
"Yeah! I tried to put white make-up on and I completely botched it so I washed it off." A boy in a Spanish armada officer costume rubbed his face for emphasis. "I was going to be a ghost, but it didn't work out."
"It's not make-up." Kisame grunted.
"Oh. So… do you have a heart condition? Is that why you're blue?" The girl asked, worried. "My grandpa's lips turn blue sometimes."
Kisame was a little startled by the question. No one had ever asked him that one before. "No… it's a forbidden jutsu I performed on myself when I was about your age. I'm Kisame of the Akatsuki." He grinned showing his chiseled teeth, "I'm…sure you've heard of me."
"Wow! Cool teeth!" Both teens yelled at the same time.
They got double the allotment of candy for that comment and walked away chatting excitedly. Kisame chuckled, remembering the first time Deidara, who had been twelve at the time, had seen his teeth.
"Welcome to Akatsuki, kid." Kisame greeted the short, skinny mad bomber.
"What's with the teeth?" The rude, extremely miffed blond had asked.
"Chiseled. Do you want me to fix your teeth for you?" Kisame laughed.
"Very artistic, but it's too permanent to be considered true art. Now if you were to implant explosive fillings in your molars, perhaps true art could be achieved." Deidara gave the tall man a big smile that made Kisame laugh even harder.
"That kid really was insane. Good thing Temari tied a leash around him, no telling what he would have blown up next." Kisame spoke out loud.
"Talking to yourself?" Itachi said quietly as he appeared behind the tall man.
Kisame turned around and opened his mouth to speak when he suddenly saw something he was sure was a hallucination. Itachi dressed in a chicken suit.
Itachi smirked. Three toddlers dressed as chicks walked up and stood next to their father.
"Hi Kiz-me!" They waved to the blue man happily.
"We get canny!" One of them said cheerfully.
"Daddy's a chicken!" Another said.
"Tikker Teet!" The third held up a small bag and Kisame, still on autopilot from the shock of seeing his ex-partner in such an absurd costume dumped candy into three bags.
Nami walked up at that point pushing a double stroller with two babies dressed up as eggs. The stroller had been decorated to look like a small egg carton. The girls were asleep.
Kisame finally found his voice, "You know… chickens are girls. Shouldn't you be dressed as a rooster?"
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Okay, next week the next chapter!
Please review!