Prologue: Courtney Barlow
Have you ever felt having another part of you that do not even recognize? As a second personality within you that is completely different from that usually known as "self". Of course to hear me say that, surely think of Mike as first choice, but that's not the point. Mike, though is 5 personalities within him, knows who he really is. I do not. I do not even know who I am. Sometimes I am determined to fulfill my goals and do everything possible to achieve it regardless of the consequences of my actions, sometimes I feel so proud that he acted like a bitch in front of people, but sometimes I have wanted to mourn ... of run away and never return. Sometimes I have just wanted to disappear.
My name is Courtney Barlow, 17 years old soon to be 18. But I'm not excited about that. My parents cannot look me in the eyes after "Total Drama", a reality show that deranged sack the worst and the best in me. But they are not angry at my heartless acts on the show with my teammates and put money before other things like love or friendship. They hate me for not winning the million.
Since childhood I was always, or rather "I am," a puppet of my parents. After four years I was forced to study very hard to meet my goals and be someone in the future. I went to the best private school in the city, I get the honor roll countless times champion of the class and delegate, 30 trophies spelling, math, science, etc.. displayed in my room. But it's never enough ... always will be the only child that is not as good as their parents, uncles and cousins . I have also taken classes in violin, guitar and vocals; yes those things that put me in a good mood. But now everything has changed because of my actions I am forced to go to public school and I was deprived of my beloved music classes. I'm a black belt, because since I was a little karate, and I think that I know according to several chapters of the show where I showed violent.
I went to Total Drama in order to win the million, becoming the pride of my family. No longer would the immature girl who is "not as good" as her cousins, all of them much more intelligent and beautiful than me. But I got something else: I fell in love and made friends. Or so it was for a while. Duncan, my first love broke my heart in international television with someone who thought my "friend." But that is a thing of the past and I think you know the story. I have forgiven Gwen because I really missed having a friend, even though what she did was wrong, she repented. Duncan I do not care, he is long gone ... I think ...
Let's say that I have no good "shooting" with the guys I've dated a criminal punk (Duncan) and a dirt farmer (Scott). My parents never accepted them; they were not good "influences" for me. The only guy they wanted was Justin, Ugh! That boy was handsome but had a coefficient of 0.5, and loved his reflection in the mirror more than his own mother. But I really liked Duncan and Scott, much. With them I felt so free and rebel who could do what I want without being judged. Scott is a nice guy, but I wasn´t in love with him; Duncan, on the other hand, he had made me experience a liberal side of me that I never thought existed, I felt so happy and strong when I was with him. Until he cheated on me, taking with all the vitality within me and breaking my heart into pieces. But ... what I know about love? When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, hiding in my tree house. My mother at that time was cheating on him with her secretary. My father knew that, but he said nothing. He just sat trapped in a section of the wooden house and cried in secret. He was very proud; he never ever would show him crumble. And that was the day I promisedI´d never sing of loveif it does not exist.
In my wrists are the scars of the ghosts of the past. Occasionally I wake up in the middle of the night, when they are all asleep, crying. I weep for my subconscious nightmares that show in my mind. Sometimes I dream about the challenges of Total Drama in which Chris endangers our lives, sometimes sleep with memories of the past, as when Duncan cheating me or when I fought with Gwen in season 5. The memory that is always present in my nightmares is when I was a little girl and my mom fed me green jelly (which at that time was my favorite dessert) every day because she felt guilty for cheating on my father and she as a "apology" or "reward" fed me that. That's why I hate so much that dessert; it brings me back bad memories with my parents.
I hurt me physically because in that way I can forget the emotional pain. Nobody knows that I cut me, not even my best friend Bridgette. Nobody knows that behind my strong and determined face, I'm slowly dying and asking for help. I admit I am violent, proud, and acted like a complete bitch. But I do it because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that refuse me, I'm afraid to be hurt, I'm scared of being unhappy.
Anyway, today is my first day of school. Beginning last year in "Coldwater School", a public school which they go like me, former contestants of Total Drama; Coincidence? ... I don´t know. My parents have already enrolled in "Anger Management Classes" as extracurricular activity, because of my disorder to control me in the show. My only wish for this new year is that everything goes well. Who knows? Maybe this year I can fix things with my teammates, be safe, have friends, someone to love ... no, better that last no, I don´t believe in love. Not anymore ...
But I'm on my way to believing...
Hello everyone! This story actually has many chapters and is originally written in Spanish, but thanks to the idea of DaOneInDaCorner, to translate it into English, can now be read in both languages ! I hope I did the translations have been good and that has trapped them. This will be a fanfic about CourtneyxCody, but also be able to notice other couples throughout history as GwenxTrent, BridgettexGeoff, ZoeyxMike, DawnxScott and HeatherxAlejandro. Also count on the participation of Mal and other antagonists. The fic is called "The Only Exception" based on the song by Paramore. Hope you like it! The see you soon!
SOFII.R