I saw her bristling at the pitter-patter of the newly spring rain. There standing at the edge of the school doors, she watched as the entrance of the school became moistened. She stood their unsure of herself. Risk getting wet or wait out until the storm calmed? The predicament would have been easier had she remembered an umbrella.
But I wasn't willing to act in such a timid manner. In the same situation, I simply stood a few feet away and leaned against one of the support beams until someone would offer an umbrella. Or till the rain subsided some more.
Then he came. Fortunately prepared, he walked towards us, umbrella at the ready.
Only one spot is available. Timid versus Headstrong. Who are you willing to choose?
Tomoya's mind was already made up. It could be seen in his eyes. I had known for a long time, the look in his eyes; it was always determined and focused on a certain goal. That was one of his best characteristics...his determination.
"Okazaki-kun...are you sure it's alright? I don't want others to think of rumors about us..."
"Don't worry Nagisa-san, it would be a pleasure to walk you home." As gentle as he could, he offered his umbrella to her and blushed a little at his uncommon gesture. He treasured as a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. She needed special protection. I did not.
Her face warmed at his soothing words and she gave him such a calm, yet blissful smile. Something I would never be able to do. She inched closer towards him, still a little uneasy of their extremely close proximity. He respected her reserved manner and simply shifted the umbrella more towards her direction.
"Tomoya..."
Not even a second glance. My existence was already erased from his life.
I continued standing there, unchanged and emotionless. Off they went down the road, like lovers under an umbrella. While I remained. Alone. Abandoned. Helpless.
Why?
I gazed longingly at the back of his head. His blue hair, slightly messy from sleeping during lunch period. His neck, sporting a slightly crooked collar of his peach uniform. His ears, tinted with the faintest hue of red. And the turn of his head.
Revealing the smile of euphoria.
I lowered my head and stared at the ground. The ground below was protected from the brutality of the rain. Except for one spot that lay directly under my head.
Why?
Why wasn't it me?