I want you to live

by Daydreamer P.

It's the third time I post this story, the previous two times it didn't appear under the TYR section but only under my personal profile. I hope this time I'll be luckier, otherwise I'll began to think that ff:net hates me!!

Anyway, lately my fanfictions didn't seems to have a great success, but I hope you'll like this one.

As always, thank you to Broedy for her wonderful help!

Lambert hits me with a force that leave me breathless. I feel the metallic taste of the blood in my mouth. He doesn't stop, quickly another blow reaches my cheekbone, and then another one, and another…I can't react. I feel myself slip away. God, I hope he would be satisfied by only beating me…this is my last thought before I lose my senses.

My head pulses terribly, my left cheek is swelling and my upper lip is split. I'm laying on my back; the low sunrays of the early morning hurt my eyes. Slowly I get up. I still have my clothes on, I breath relieved while a tear runs rapidly down my cheek. He was in a hurry to find Kid and the others, for this reason he didn't waste his time with me, I thought wryly.

I have to go away as soon as possible, because Lambert and his men will return here if they didn't reach the others, and I don't want to be the one who'll tell them where my friends are.

I take my things; I put my pants and my shirt on. I never feel my boyish clothes so comfortable. I go downstairs careful to not make any noise, at this time the saloon sleeps so I can reach the livery without any problem.

I ride out of the town, I have to take a long complicated route, I can't risk they find my trail. I ride as fast as I can without leaving too many traces.

Now that the tension has begun to fade I realize how scared I has been. I had fun dressing up like a saloon girl, to feel on myself the appreciating glances of the men has been good for once, I wanted to prove to myself I can do that, despite of my past. I liked to shock the boys and demonstrate them I'm a girl under the layers of buggy clothes they always see me in. Kid's comments instead made me angry, why couldn't he say simply that I looked pretty, instead of saying me I shouldn't be dressing in that way? I know his reaction was mostly because he was worried and jealous and I liked that; but I wanted also to prove him that I was capable to handle the whole thing without his help, but I failed. When Lambert overcame me, when I saw him on me, immediately the thought of another man and another suffocating room washed over me once again and I panicked.

I reach the others and see Kid ride toward me. I've never seen him so scared. I can barely get off my horse before he pulls me in a tight embrace. I don't say anything, in this moment I want only to feel his reassuring arms around me.

After some moments he pulls away to look at me. I hear him suck his breath and his grip on my arms tighten. I don't lift my head, self conscious, I know how bad I look.

"What he did to you?" Kid's voice is tense when he spoke.

"Lambert hit me and I lost my senses." I try to minimize. "This morning I woke up before he returned and was able to get away."

I see his rage mount and his blue eyes become ice.

"He'll pay for that." he turns to Katy and mount up.

"Kid! What do you want to do?!" Call him out!?" Jimmy yells at him but Kid doesn't respond. "Kid! Don't be stupid! You aren't ready for a duel!!!"

Jimmy offers him to take his place but Kid refuse and rode away. We follow him; I feel my heart in my throat.

Kid is before the marshal's office. He calls him out, and then he turns to look at me. I want to tell him to not do it, that Jimmy is right, that I'm scared, but I can't, so I divert my gaze. I remain near Jimmy with my heart that pumps wildly in my chest.

It's not like I never see him in a gunfight, and I know how well he can handle a gun; but this is completely different. He is alone before his opponent, and the only thing that separate him from the death is a thin line made of luck, ability and cold blood. And this isn't enough for me.

Damn Kid and his rightfulness. Can we just go away from here and return home? No! He must make that man pay for his crimes, for having killed that poor man and made his children orphans, for having taken advantage of his good faith, and above all for having beating me. I know how much pained and guilty he has been since he discovered the truth about Lambert, and seeing me like that must have been the last straw.

Neither of this is worth your life! I would shoot at him, but it's too late. Lambert comes out and Kid confronts him. Jimmy and Buck kill the Lambert's men who were ready to shoot Kid in the back and he hits the marshal. Lambert fells but Kid is unharmed. Now I can breath again.

°°°°°°

Emily and Michael Dyson has just taken the stage, I gave them the Lambert's money. I couldn't keep it; I hope at least it could help those children.

I look for Lou; I haven't seen her since we returned. During our trip back home she barely spoke a word. What I did must have upset her greatly, but I couldn't let that man not to pay for what he did.

When I saw her battered face has been as something has snapped in me. I'm ashamed of me now but in that moment I didn't think about justice, in that moment I want only vengeance for what he dared to do to Lou. I acted as a beast, and can perfectly understand Lou for being mad at me, but now I want to assure myself she is all ok.

I find her in the bunkhouse; she holds a cold cloth against her swollen cheek. I cringe, it must be painful and the bruises on her lip will last for at least a week, I know it from first hand.

"Hi Lou."

She raises her head.

"Hi."

I seat near to her, unsure of her reaction. But she doesn't pull away from me, and it gives me a little confidence.

"The children have just taken the stage. I gave them the money."

She nodded imperceptibly, but doesn't speak. Maybe it isn't the right time to talk, I motion to get up from the table but she grabs my arm. I stop and she turn to press her unarmed cheek against my chest.

"Don't you dare to do such a thing ever again." She says firmly without looking at me.

"I'm sorry Lou…I didn't want to upset you, but when I saw what Lambert did to you, I …"

"Damn Kid! You scared me to death!" her voice is angry. "You could die before my eyes! What do you think would remain of me if happen such a thing?!"

I'm astonished. She never showed her feelings to me so openly. I find myself smiling, even if I know that this would make her angrier at that moment.

She punches my ribs hard.

"I'm serious Kid! Don't you dare to risk your life again…" her rage is drained and she slumps against me. "I want you to live. You hear me."

I hold her and kiss her hair. She doesn't protest and snuggles closer in my embrace.

"I want you to live too, Lou."