Title: Beautiful Intentions

Author/Email: Fairygnomes (fairygnomes (at) gmail . com)

Rating: 13+

Category: Angst, Drama, Sam/Jack Relationship/Friendship

Season/Sequel: Set between season eight and nine, 6th in the Interlude Series

Spoilers: Everything up to the end of S8

Archive: SJA, Heliopolis, GateWorld, Novel Archive.

Summary: When they give you your identity tell me will you recognise yourself?

Disclaimer: Not mine, we're just bored between seasons. We'll put them back...

Author's Notes: This has been so much fun! goes back to writing the last one!

Huge hugs to Jo and Ruth for everything! And huge thanks to Jo (the other one!) and Allie for the fab beta and encouragement :o)

The last time it had begun as a single thought that hovered just out of the reach of his conscious. Getting gradually stronger and bigger, it had become almost all-consuming until he had finally grasped what his sub-conscious mind (otherwise known as Oma De Sala) had been trying to tell him. This time, it struck him like a bolt from the sky as he was driving into work, struck with such force that he had to pull over onto the hard shoulder and concentrate on just breathing, willing the pain that accompanied it away.

It was several minutes before he felt competent to begin driving again, and then, just before his exit, he realised he should maybe have called it in, given them some warning of the bombshell he was about to drop.

IknowwheresheisIknowwheresheisjustkeepgoingIknowwheresheis

"Where's Daniel?" asked General Jack O'Neill as he entered the Briefing Room ready to start SG-1's pre-mission brief.

The room's two other occupants, Colonel Sam Carter and Teal'c, both shrugged. That is to say, Sam shrugged. Teal'c just stared and said nothing, but Jack got the message, he knew how to read his friend pretty well after working in close quarters for over eight years.

"It's not like him to be late," Sam replied. Now it was Jack's turn to stare at her, and she hastily added, "…well unless he's on base and he's engrossed in something. I mean, it's not like him to be late when he's coming in from home."

"Give him another five minutes, then we'll call him."

She nodded, and reached into her pocket, pulling out her cell phone and checking for any missed calls before placing it on the table in front of her.

"Colonel Carter, there is a matter which has perplexed me for some time now," Teal'c said softly and he gestured towards the phone. "How is it possible to get reception this far underground?"

Sam merely smiled.

"Perhaps it is better that I do not enquire further?"

"Indeed."

The General had finished pouring himself a coffee from the jugat the other end of the room and was now taking his seat at the head of the table, a position he was still somewhat uncomfortable with. Not for much longer though, he thought with what he hoped what was a surreptitious look at Carter. As usual, she caught him looking, but now a slight flush began on her cheeks and she began fidgeting with her pen. He loved making her nervous. So much so that he did the one thing he had promised himself he would not do that morning.

"So, T, did you catch the game last night?"

There was nothing so sinister as the sight of a Jaffa (with hair) grinning smugly.

"Indeed, O'Neill. I believe you now owe me fift dollars."

"You bet on a hockey game against Teal'c?" Sam asked incredulously.

Jack shrugged, and handed over the money without further complaint. He had learned from bitter experience that was the best course of action in such matters.

He was saved from further humiliation by the very loud and flustered arrival of Dr Daniel Jackson.

"Nice of you to join us, Daniel."

"Are you okay, Daniel?" Ignoring Jack's sarcastic openerSam rose and walked over to the top of the stairs where Daniel was standing, clutching the balustrade and looking like he was about to keel over. "Daniel?" she asked again, reaching out to touch his arm.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, Sam. I don't want to put you through this again, but I have to tell you."

"Come and sit down, and just tell us what is going on. You want some water?"

He managed to nod, and allowed himself to be led over to what was traditionally his seat at the briefings, next to Teal'c and across from Sam. Teal'c had already gone to get him some water, and placed it in front of him within moments.

Daniel took a long drink. "I know where she is."

"Where who is?" asked Jack, determined to be patient when it was obvious Daniel was upset.

He wouldn't look at Sam when he replied. "The replicator that Fifth created, the Sam one. She's not dead and I know where she is."

Sam tried to control the panic rising up within her. "Take your time, Daniel. Tell us everything." Her voice didn't waver.

"Sam…"

"Everything, Daniel."

He looked at her then, absurdly proud of her strength in that moment, although he could see she was unsettled. He really hoped she could handle this.

"I was on my way in here as usual and suddenly it hit me. When she… it killed me there was a flash of light that engulfed me. I don't know what I thought at the time, I don't know if I thought anything at all, I don't remember everything, I thought it was just me. But now I'm remembering more. Actually, I don't know if remember is the right word, it's not my own memories.. I'm remembering it as Oma."

"How is that possible?"

Daniel turned to his left. "I don't know, Teal'c. But I can actually see it all happening, like I'm watching it as a complete outsider. As Oma."

Jack risked a quick glance at Sam to see how she was dealing with this. He had his own memories, of her guilt and self-recrimination after meeting her "twin". He had told her to deal with it, to get over it and she had but it had taken time. She looked OK now, pale but still she leaned forward with interest as Daniel told his tale. Satisfied for the moment, he turned his attention back to the man who was still speaking.

"Anyway, I then saw us both engulfed in the beam of light. Oma didn't realise how close we were standing, and she captured us both. When she discovered she had the replicator also she simply discarded her."

"'Discarded' her? That's a strange way to put it, Daniel."

He shrugged. "It's her choice of words, Jack, not mine. It's like she's telling me the story in my head, letting me watch it through her eyes. It's kinda freaky, actually."

"Okay, so what happened next?" Jack was impatient to get to the actual point, but Sam interrupted before Daniel could continue.

"Hang on, Daniel. How was there anything left to discard? The beam worked, the weapon on Te'Kara destroyed all of the replicators… didn't it?"

"Sorry, Sam, but the timing was just that little bit off. She was damaged by the weapon, certainly weakened by it, but not completely destroyed. A fraction of a second the other way and…"

"Great." Although it was said under her breath, they all heard it.

"So, you believe you know where the replicator is now?"

"I don't believe, Teal'c. I know where it is. And I can take you to her. It."

Once again, Jack looked at the Colonel. He could see her decision had already been made.

"General, permission to…"

"Granted, Colonel. Granted. Be ready to leave in an hour."

She didn't think she'd ever be ready.

He found her in the locker room, sitting curled up as she had once before. Another time when she had been blaming herself for her actions and their consequences. Another time when he had found her crying.

This time he did not say a word, he just sat next to her and pulled her towards him. This time, she resisted.

"I'm okay, Teal'c. I can handle this." She stood up, trying to put some distance between them.

"I know."

"I just need a minute to…"

"Colonel Carter, we should be in the Gate Room ready to depart in fifteen minutes."

"I'm ready now."

"I do not believe you are."

"You think I can't handle this, is that what this is about? You don't trust me?"

He rose to his feet with a grace that belied his size, stood as close to her as he could without her backing away. "My trust in you is not in question. It has never been so. But you must trust in yourself, Colonel Carter."

She looked up and held his gaze for a moment, as if she was weighing his words against his expression. Then, whispering, "I hate her. I hate what she did to you, to us. To Daniel. And because of that, I hate myself. Because she's me."

Teal'c shook his head. "It is not you. It is a machine."

"A machine with my memories, my feelings…"

"A machine that used your memories and your feelings to hurt you in the most powerful way. Is that not similar to the actions of a computer virus, taking over without your control or permission?"

She thought about it for a moment, and slowly nodded. "Maybe you're right, Teal'c. Maybe that's the way I have to deal with her. With it." She sat back down on the bench and began lacing up her boots. "I've been taking it so personally, it felt like it was me doing all those terrible things. And I felt sorry for her."

"That is understandable, Colonel Carter. It looked like you. But it was not you and that is what you have to accept. Neither Daniel Jackson nor I believe you capable of any of her actions."

"But that's just it, I am capable. Or maybe one day I could be. That's what scares me."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"You have never asked me how many people I killed in the name of Apophis."

She looked at him, and then his point struck home. They were all capable of terrible things, had all done things they were ashamed of. They had killed and been killed, had destroyed life and art and nature. In many ways, Sam belonged to an elite group, a group that was uniquely qualified to understand her and what she had done. It was more than just being military, more than just carrying a gun. The things they did were indescribable, incomprehensible. And necessary.

There were things she was ashamed of, things she regretted doing and not doing. But she was not alone in that, and she realisedthat Teal'c and Daniel had a much healthier attitude to it all than she or the General had. They were not blasé, they did not take their lives and deeds lightly, but they put them into perspective, dealt with them and moved on. They had both lost loved ones, family and friends. She was not alone.

This time, she did not resist the arm pulling her towards him, and she leaned in and allowed herself to rely on his strength just for a moment.

"Thank you, Teal'c. I think I get it now."

"I am glad. You are a strong warrior in battle, Colonel Carter, but sometimes you need to rely on a different kind of strength. The strength that your friends see more readily than you yourself do."

She smiled, and patted his arm. "I'd better go, I'd like to speak to Daniel before we leave. He looked pretty freaked out earlier."

"I believe he is in his lab."

"OK, I'll see you in the Gate Room in ten?"

He inclined his head, and smiled as she left the room.

Daniel was indeed in his lab, frantically grabbing assorted items from around the room and shoving them into a bag as Sam watched, amused, from the doorway.

"I think you forgot something, Daniel," she said, by way of introduction.

He paused, and turned in her direction. "Oh?" he said, pushing up his glasses that had become dislodged during all his running back and forth.

"Yeah, the sink's still in the corner."

"Ha ha, Sam. I just want to make sure I haven't missed anything and.."

"Daniel?"

He stopped again, and waited till she crossed the room to where he stood. "What?"

"Stop worrying about me, OK? I can handle it. I'm not saying it isn't freaking me out just a little, and I will be very glad when that damn thing is dead and destroyed, but I can handle it."

He let out the breath he had been holding with a big 'whoosh' before grabbing her into a big hug. Taken by surprise she laughed and then held on.

"I just felt bad because I was the one who realised; so it felt like it was my idea and…"

"Daniel, if it was anyone's idea it was Oma's. And she's not usually wrong about stuff so I think we just have to trust her."

He took a step back, letting his arms fall and then he nodded. "I know that it's just.."

"Good to hear? Yeah, I know what you mean. Anyway, I'll let you finish packing and see you in the Gate Room in five?"

"Yes, Sir!" he said with a salute that wasn't too bad, considering.

She left the room laughing and ran straight into the General who had been standing in the hallway just outside the room.

"Careful, Carter, you nearly ran an old man down there."

"Well, if the 'old man' hadn't been skulking around then it wouldn't have been a problem," she said before she could stop herself. A huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

He just looked at her for a moment, and then, to her utter shock, he moved towards her, almost casually, and then wrapped his arms around her.

"Sir?"

"Ssh, just c'mere."

"I am here. But what are you….?" She could see at least three working security cameras watching them.

He leaned back slightly, still with his arms aroundher waist. "Apparently I missed a memo."

Sam looked at him with such a look of confusion that he grinned at her and had to resist the urge to kiss her. Really, really resist the urge to just lean forward and…

"Huh?"

He shrugged, a move that brought her back closer to him. "I must've missed a memo. Isn't today "Intergalactic Hug Your Carter Day?"

"What?"

"Well, everyone else is doing it, and I didn't want to be the only one not doing it so…" he muttered, before looking at her hopefully.

It took a moment. In her defence she had had a lot to process in the last thirteen minutes.

"Oh. Right. Oh."

"Oh?"

She leaned again into his arms and held on tight. "Oh."

And then they sprang apart at the sudden cry of pain that came from Daniel's lab, and rushed in to see what happened.

"Oy."

What had happened was that Daniel – in all his rushing about – had managed to get himself tangled up in the strap of the bag he was packing, and had tripped over the book he had been about to pack and…

"He has a badly sprained ankle, needs to rest for at least a couple of days, General."

"Thanks, Doc." As Dr. Brightman walked away, Jack glared at Daniel who was now sitting on a bed in the infirmary trying to swallow some painkillers.

"It was an accident, Jack."

"Yeah, I know. But your timing sucks, Daniel."

Daniel nodded in reply. "I think they should go anyway, I have this feeling that Oma gave me this…vision… today for a specific reason. I think the timing is important and waiting a couple of days until I can walk again might be too late."

"I agree, O'Neill. Colonel Carter is in the Control Room giving Sergeant Harriman the Gate address that Daniel Jackson gave her. I will go and inform her that we will be departing as originally planned."

"You do that, T. But tell her to wait, I need ten minutes to gear up."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm coming with, Teal'c. What, you think I'm going to miss my one and only chance to meet Carter's evil twin?"

To Be Continued in Episode Seven - Far From Home by Ruth M. King