Attraction to the Unlovely
/Edit: Author's Note: I apologise, but Inspiration strikes at the most unusual times, you see. So, well, changes have been made to the summary and story. Forgive me. And, might I warn you in advance, whenever there's Miroku, there's got to be some innuendo. Advance at your own risk. Chapter 1 now contains parts of Chapter 2 to allow you to understand the plot a tinsier bit better.
Summary: AU MirSan Her only source of entertainment seems to arrive in an oddly out-fashioned priest robes. Problem is, he comes with ill intentions.
Chapter 1: Prologue: When Eve meets Adam
Disclaimer: Not mine at all. All characters belong to the talented Rumiko Takahashi.
I always thought my life was like a statue, motionless and boring, and put on display in Daddy's Museum of Problematic Articles.
Especially after I was forced into doing a job at the convenience store branch or risk never coming home, I became increasingly convinced that I should not have been brought into this world.
Yet, this occupation that offered me no interest, nor excitement, nor bling needed for life-threatening situations; it changed my life irrevocably.
It reminded me never to trust strangers, especially handsome ones that look like they're going to pounce on you. Of course I was never the wiser, and thus problems never fail to infiltrate into the life of Sango Tetsuya.
"Tick." She stared at the clock perched on the wall, following the minute hand of the clock as it scaled idly another revolution.
"Tock."
'Eradicate all of your flaws with Perfectionist Facial Cream! Say goodbye to wrinkles, zits, blackheads, and whiteheads! Look like a star today!' A facial cream read.
She smirked. Yeah, right, only when little piglets sprout fairy-like wings will she believe that lying monstrosity. Advertisements these days are evil, misleading objects used to trick innocent old grannies of their monies. Evil.
"Tick."
"Tock."
"Tick."
"Tock."
She stifled a yawn. Her muscles were aching badly and her mind was no longer responsive to the environment around her. She casually glanced at her watch, praying terribly that the hour needle would just touch five. But lady luck was not feeling very happy today, so unfortunately, it was a futile attempt to delude herself. It was still four o'clock thereabouts.
She sighed and drummed her fingernails against the counter.
"Maybe!" Her eyes suddenly shone wildly as if an idea had suddenly crept into the dank corners of her mind and illuminated it.
"Maybe I could adjust the time an hour forward! And then, and then, I could simply tell the gargantuan fat-head superior that he had simply been one hour behind all of his egoistic life!"
Her voice reverberated around the room, and suddenly like a radio abruptly turned off, her shoulders slumped, defeated, and she stared at the uninteresting cold hard counter.
"Who am I kidding…?"She started, slapping her cheeks. That sort of situation can only occur if a) her boss suffered from dementia, which she thought was highly unlikely, since her boss never forgot to remind her of his position as her superior and that he could 'sack (her) that second if (she) doesn't pull her socks up, and b) the world had spun in the opposite direction.
She sighed again.
She stared at the four walls which just seemed to enclose around her. It was so stifling and boring, and a negligible number of customers have entered. She stared at the shop, deserted and chilly. It was a constant reminder of her life, which could be summed up in one word. Pathetic.
This was her father's oh-so-wonderful idea of letting her 'broaden her horizons', 'experience the real world', and 'strengthen her resilience', which by- the- way was waning hour by hour. And she didn't really think facing a nearly empty shop was good business experience. At all. It was as if her father had purposefully kept her out of the house for convenience sake...What's so bad about her in the house? She was just a little violent, a little cranky, a little rash and in other words, just a teenager!
Besides, her egoistic fat-head superior was incredibly unintelligent to have set up the 7-eleven branch in the most secluded area at the end of a street. Seriously, she was quite sure a screw might have been dislodged itself from his head, calling this area 'an extremely lucrative business venture'. The only thing she sees when she leaves the store is the crows flapping their wings across the skies. Come here little birdie, do you need some whitening cream?
It's time she gave her father her opinions of this "experiencing the real life' scheme. Total Rubbish.
"Please, Dad? I have lots of experience at this already, I need my vacation, and I need a social life! A life like that will kill any teenager!"
"Sango, dearest, you know it's all for your own good. You have been idling for a while already, this job is suited for you, I'm sure it'll work out fine. And it's only your second day!" Of Hell. She mentally added.
"I promise I'll be good at home, Dad!" She whined. Please!
"No, can't you understa- we have talked this over yesterday already, Sango. Do not argue any more about this."
Brilliant. Plan A- Argue by logic unsuccessful. Now, it was time to execute Plan B- Ad Misericordiam. Now or Never!
"But, but the people here are weird, Dad! And it's really dark by the time I get to the hostel; don't you worry about my safety?"
"-You should not discriminate…-all the more you should stay there to learn…and you are a grown-up, you have martial arts skills… Didn't you just tell me you slapped a man hard when he tried to make a move on you last month?"
Oops. She had totally forgotten about that incident.
"Would it help if I tell you this place was possessed?" She crossed her fingers.
"Sango, don't be ridiculous, I really have no time to listen to your far-fetched tales! And really, how dare you lie to me! You can just stay there-"
"But Dad! My life is ruined! I'll have no friends, I'll be permanently scarred for life, I will suffer in agony, and I will die of boredom. Don't you love me anymore, Dad?" Yes, that was it, the killer question, the one which every parent would be baited…
"I do, but I love my daughter doing a fulfilling job more. It's final and you are staying. If you even try to leave, well, let's just say there would really, really, be very unpleasant consequences, one of them requiring you to find another source to pay for your hostel fees. Beep."
Oh great, how absolutely great. Plan A and B had just died on her. She had partially forgotten that her father had watched her mature, and could easily ward away any tricks she had up her sleeve…
She dropped the phone and pummeled her fists against the counter. No…
The doors looked so tempting, as if beckoning her to leave and never look back. Yet the prospect of her leaving would mean that she would be cash-stripped and she could just simply forget about ever returning home in the near future, which seemed very bleak all of a sudden.
Never mind, she would just go back to her motel (part of her father's "fulfilling life" scheme) and weep over her misfortune. Everything would be just fine and dandy tomorrow. Right.
After all, it was just 5 more seconds away before she can break free from this place, at least for today.
3. What food shall I have for dinner, hmm?
2… Chinese dinner? Ah, or perhaps the beef burger at Carl's Junior!
She stared at her watch stubbornly. The second-hand had moved languidly, but nevertheless finally touched twelve. Zero. Yes!
"Goodbye Shop! Goodbye boring life! Goodbye-"
"Ding-a-ling-a-ling!" The shop's characteristic doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of a customer.
NO!
She was, alas, not favored by the gods. Every fibre of her body bristled with anger and defeat.
"No….."She moaned. The store was open for much of the whole afternoon, yet that mysterious, daft, ridiculous, ignoramus person X simply had to choose such an excellent time to visit.
A very young man took form and entered the store. She eyed him with nothing more than viscosity and hatred.
Rule Number One: Never, never, ever, enter a 7-eleven shop exactly on the dot at five o'clock, especially when the cashier lady is Sango Tetsuya.
Her jaw dropped.
The same young man would have looked perfectly normal and perhaps handsome with his chiseled looks if he had not worn a monk's garment.
Yes, no kidding. A monk's garment in dark shades of midnight black and deep mulberry, complete with prayer beads that hung around his hands.
Yet the same said monk, had hair on his head (She had the impression monks were supposed to tonsured) and, well, was staring at her lustfully, the moment his eyes were set upon her, as though he had just seen the most exquisite jewel in a museum.
No way. The last time she remembered, wasn't monks supposed to be at a monastery, and isolating themselves from the materialistic world?
The monk had licked his lips suggestively and his obsidian eyes had traveled down her face, resting on her body.
Goodness! She had to deal with a monk with an absurdly high testosterone level ogling at her and she didn't even want to wonder the explicit contents that were running through the cogs of his over-imaginative mind presently.
He put on his most charming smile and made towards her…
Moving closer and closer till the gap between them was only a mere 2 centimetres over the counter.
Definitely too close for comfort.
"My, my, are my eyes blind or," He begun in a deep, husky masculine voice, "have I seen the most beautiful chick in the world?"
Her patience was running very thin, so dangerously thin, he should have run away to China and never come back or face her unholy wrath. But this poor thing, was smiling, in fact smiling very happily at her, oblivious at her rather dark look.
They say customers always come first, but an angry Sango who so very much wanted to wring his neck for choosing such an opportune time to flirt with her could not care less. Not since her chance to escape was being interrupted by a monk-in-disguise who was trying to work his charms on her.
"Well, well, well, and I'm sure I've just seen the most irritating shameless prick disguising himself as a monk. Don't you know it's rude to stare?" She smiled dangerously, voice laced with sarcasm.
C'mon pretty boy! Since you want to play this game, I'm game for it!
The lecherous smile on his face was wiped off at once.
Miroku was quite stunned. No, wait, that's an understatement. He was extremely, to the greatest extent possible, appalled. There she was, smirking at him, yet she was so irresistibly beautiful, her curves accentuated by fitting clothing. Most girls would have fallen prey to such a charming, handsome man, albeit, dressed in monk garments, but still, that was not the point. She, she was completely polar opposite. And that made him mildly interested in her.
After all, he loved feisty, ravishing, challenging women. He decided to start off with an innocent pose, ruffling his hair slightly, and put on his most alluring smile.
"Well, when the girl is as gorgeous and breathtakingly beautiful like yourself, one cannot help but stare..." He leaned in closer, his nose almost touching hers, and his itching hands demanded for some quality material to rest on and they wandered…
Ahh…His hands had finally sought out an appropriate place of their own…Such warm and curvy derriere, excellent, excellent.
She smiled really sweetly at him, and he shot back another equally dazzling smile at her. She was alright with his wandering, accursed hands? That was really unique, and unforeseen… Those monstrous pair of hands has caused him much damage to his physical body in all of his life, not that he minded really, the exchange was very fair, but this was the first time a pretty woman has given him the liberty to do so, without being accompanied by a sock to his jaw or a slap on his face…
"Mister, you seem to have a fetish with upsetting innocent, beautiful girls…"She started, dazzling smile still in place.
"Ah, it can't be helped." He sighed. "I'm thoroughly addicted to the lovely women species. Such delightful, innocent masterpiece…"
She was smiling really sweetly now, he was in fact rather apprehensive since her last tirade, but still she nudged him closer, and he, being the infamous Miroku, obviously could no longer resist the temptation…
As he moved in to close the gap between their faces, there was a sudden swift silver blur and the next thing he knew…
"Argh! My eyes! They burn!"
"Oh my, I'm so sorry; I thought there was a nasty, humongous, irritating bug hovering near your face! I didn't mean to!" She exclaimed, thoroughly amused by the situation. She pretended to wave away the imaginary insect with her free arm, the other holding a natural pepper spray.
At the same time, she leaned in and whispered, "But it also seems to be very useful in keeping men's eyes from straying where they ought not to be!"
The same said monk was waving his staff rather furiously at her, one arm still nursing his injured sore eyes.
"By the way, sir, everything you have just committed is recorded over there on the close-circuit television, you know how it is, let me see, and I presume you are above 18? So, well…let's do a little recalling shall we? Is it a fine or is it a jail sentence?"
"You! You are a sneaky little pretty thing, aren't you?"
"Oh, no, the name's not really that long, just Sango." She smirked as he continued to howl in pain. It seemed the pepper spray had really nipped it in the bud. Served him right for trying to hit on her…
"So, sir, is it the jail sentence, the fine or… the promise to be my S-L-A-V-E?" This was really getting entertaining. Much as Sango wanted to leave as quickly as possible, the little pervert here proved to be a lot more than just another typical customer. He was her little jester, and well, as circumstances permit and she foresees, a personal slave.
"Oh, if you just help to remove this –beep- chemical off my eyes, I'm more than happy to be enslaved to such a fair, devious beauty, in more than just one way."
"I apologise, my definition of a slave appears to be slightly different from yours as I can see. Mine appears only to contain the word 'menial labour' and nothing more but pure entertainment for myself only."
"Such a pity, I was quite sure it would have been a memorable twilight together…But I shall not refuse a pretty lady's request, even if she's Devil's Incarnate, so now will this kind, helpful, mesmerizing, utterly amazing lady Sango please get this –beep, beep- chemical off my eyes? Much as I believe I'm close to looking like a Greek god, I am just another human after all, prone to damage by the opposite sex…"
"Simply wonderful juxtaposition of words, your Literature teacher must have loved you to bits. Such an exquisite choice of words, no?" Sango smiled, she damn loved to twirl this man around her little pinkie, and he proved to be every bit as relentless as she was merciless.
"Call me 'Saviour', and I will spare you some H2O…"She smiled wryly.
Miroku wanted so very much to tell her not to push it, but decided that this was not the right time for honour and dignity and all that nonsense. It was his eyes at stake, damn it! His gorgeous olive-black eyes which have partook a major role in securing a pretty lady's attention and well, delving into the curious, unknown, deep nether regions of the wonderful female body.
"My fairest Saviour, will thou please, please lend this atrocious scum of the earth a hand! The –beep- chemical is really going to blind my eyes, you know!"
"That was the point…"She muttered softly. She laughed heartily as she reached for the nearest mineral water in the air-conditioned compartment. "Alright, alright then, since you beg so arduously, your wish is my command."
She struggled with opening the bottle a little before pouring the ice-cold mineral water on his face. Full-blast.
An aggressive forceful amount of water burst through, like the Niagara Falls, cascaded and pounded all over his face, dripping into his robe and instantaneously caused a widespread numbness on his face as well as the upper part of his body.
"Oops, I fumbled," was all that escaped her lips. Much as she enjoyed watching the flirtatious monk squirming under her iron fists, a part of her heart berated her for being too harsh on the monk, who had now, really shot her an ugly look.
"That was indeed rejuvenating; my lady Sango, so refreshing it has left me incapable of feeling anything for that few moments. I'm quite sure you've had enough fun," came his unnervingly cold response.
Damn. He simply had to utter it in such a manner that her conscience pricked.
"I'm sorry…" A tinge of cherry-red stained her cheeks, as she looked down apologetically. Maybe she really went that bit too far…
"And so I suppose," He said, moving a step closer, and leant in, "now it's my turn to have some fun?"
Far, far, away, nearly two streets away from the secluded 7-eleven branch, a rat squeaked and scuttled into its little hidey-hole as the still atmosphere was suddenly pierced with a blood-curdling "HENTAI!" followed by a thunderous slam of the door and an indignant figure rushing out, huffing madly. Incidentally enough, a queer-looking monk followed suit, albeit hobbling after her. The damage inflicted was obvious, the monk looked totally battered, and well, he could have sworn that years later, that leg would have never been the same again.
Such was the almighty incredulous strength of a spirited girl, Sango.
Somewhere high up in an apartment, the curtain open and closed swiftly, but one could be sure, for that split second, the unknown person was laughing.
A/n: Please comment! I may decide to stop if there is not much interest. Excuse Miroku's innuendo, please.
Love,
IncarnadineRose