Long time no see, but I haven't really felt like writing. The idea for this three-parter popped into my head as I was listening to 'Somebody That I Used To Know' by Gotye, so the credits for inspiration go to him. This however isn't based on the song. Credits for the character to Stephenie Meyer, of course. The rest of this is mine. I apologize in advance that this isn't beta'ed so all mistakes are mine too.
Hope you like!
\\\/\\\/\\\/\\\/
Past, present, future
Part I: Past
I felt trapped. Trapped in my own life, trapped by my actions, by the consequences. Trapped by my own selfish character, my disgusting behavior. But most of all, I felt trapped whenever I was home. I felt like I couldn't breathe properly, stuck in our apartment.
With you.
I never had any problems with staying late at the office as I never really wanted to go home anyway. My boss thought I had great work ethic, but in reality I was a coward trying to escape a relationship I no longer felt comfortable in. I'd rather drown myself in work and disappoint you another time for not making it home before dinner than hurt you even worse by ending both our misery.
I knew you wouldn't be the one to do so.
No matter what I god-awful thing I did, you would always forgive me. You'd look at me with so much love in your eyes, kiss me and tell me everything would be okay. You'd comfort me while you were the one that was being mistreated.
I cheated on you.
After I confessed it to you, you cried in silence while staring at the flames in the fireplace. Giving me the silent treatment for the rest of the day was the 'worst' thing you ever did. And even then you still kissed me goodnight and told me you loved me. You've always been too good for me.
It took you a while to forgive me, but you did. Of course you did.
I wish you would've yelled at me. If there was anyone that could knock some sense into my head, it was you. But I didn't have the right to want anything from you. Not after the way I treated you, not after everything I did to you. You took all emotional blows I gave you and you still loved me. I should've asked you to marry me. But my gift to you on our fifth anniversary wasn't the ring you deserved.
I packed my bags and left you.
I gave you the freedom you deserved. I wrote you a letter, explaining that I loved you but that I wasn't good enough for you. I left it on my pillow with dark red rose, your favorite. You contacted me after that several times. Most of those times, you were crying, begging me to take you back. I wanted to, but the little decency I had left inside me knew I couldn't do so. But you needed a promise, I could tell you did.
We promised to stay friends.