FUCKING PERFECT - SONGFIC
Autor's Note: umm. well hey, This is a songfic oneshot about Raven, it gots a bit of BBRae or Friendship between the Team, the other day I was listening to this song, and I just though it was like it was a song about Raven, so I wrote down what I though first when listening to that song :D, I just so totally think the song fits Raven so here it is.
Disclaimer: I Don't own the Teen Titans or the song Fucking Perfect, If I owned the Teen Titans, it would have more than just 5 seasons,... IT WOULD HAVE MORE THAN 100 :D
Update 28/07/2013: Wow, just wow, I couldn't believe how awfull my grammar was the past year, since I'm learning english all by myself I didn't notice back then, but now my english has improved a lot - I fixed all the grammar mistakes and made the one shot a little bit more well-writen, hopefully it's better now right? enjoy! ^^
Made a wrong turn, once or twice..
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright...
Raven just stood there, where she and Beast Boy fighted, she didn't even renember how the fight turned out to be how stupid he was and how ice cold, bad person she was.. She didn't know why she was always angry.. she didn't know why she hates people.. She didn't know why people smiled..
Raven didn't know why she felt empty..
The alarm lifted on signaling troubles, everyone left to fight, she sighed and followed behind..
Welcome to my silly life
...
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Ms. No way it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Raven just glared at Beast Boy who make a joke about how Raven looked sooo "happy" everyday. Everyone were laughing.. Everyone always laughing of her or hurting her... She couldn't take it anymore.. she hates it..Everyone seems so happy, she didn't even know why she was still there, Raven just put her hood on, stood and head towards the only place that she thinks she's not misplaced, her bedroom.
"Hey! Raven! Where are you going? Are you ok?" Asked the annoying green.
"..." Raven merely looked at him, her face showing no emotions at all, and then she left.
"..Dude! She never talks to me! I Try and Try! I mean how-" Beast boy's rant was interrupted by Robin's hand resting on his shoulder.
"Give her a rest, She is... well, Raven, Misunderstood..."
"Ya' At least she listens to you" Robin could only scratch his head, that was kinda true..
Raven, who was leaning behind the door, stood up and just made her way to her bedroom..
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look, I'm still around..
Raven, clutching her bleeding head in the cold factory floor where she was hited by Plasmus, looked how the others were figthing, Plasmus merely looked her like she was not a big deal.. if she just didn't stood there frozen, she wouldn't have been beaten up so easily... Why everyone thinks she is weak? or just leave her aside like nothing but a 0 at the left?
Raven's eyes glowed as she stood up, focused on fighting back.
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, fucking perfect
Everyone eyes widened when they saw Raven flew to Plasmus.
"RAVEN!" They all said her name, desperately trying to make her come back.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos!" Suddenly a black energy surrounded Plasmus making him explode in pieces, like he was barely a balloon filled with water.
Everyone was impressed, they inmediately cheered Raven, who destroyed Plasmus like it was nothing.
"YHEA! WOHOO! Raven is angry!" Cyborg fist pumped at her friend's victory.
"Dude! that was awesome!" Beast Boy merely had words to describe how cool Raven was at that moment.
"Nice work Raven" Robin just grinned, thinking they should celebrate with pizza later.
"Friend Raven, you're really strong!" Starfire just beamed fighting back the urge of hugging Raven, knowing she doesn't likes hugs.
Raven just merely forced a small smile and she headed towards the exit
Beast Boy just stood there, watching her dissapearing in the shadows "That was perfect.." he though, looking back at how strong she was.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are fucking perfect, to me
Everyone in the tower returned to their normal rutines, Raven just looked at the window, feeling she'll breakdown at any time, she feels she's going to need to meditate more to control her emotions, it can be dangerous for her friends if she can't control them. as always she is wearing her hood on when she wants to hide herself.
Behind her, Beast Boy couldn't tell if she was ok or not, he' sincerely concerned about her.
You're so mean, when you talk..
About yourself, you are wrong
Gathering up courage, Beast Boy aproached Raven, determined to know what's wrong.
"Raven, what's wrong?" Beast Boy asked her, trying to not sound so nervous around her, Raven just looked at him, and as an habit she just spoke sarcastically to him.
"Apart from you annoying me right now? Nothing, puree glee.." she went back to look through the window at nothing in particular.
Beast Boy glared, feeling hurt since he just wanted to make sure she was ok
"Jeez! What's your problem!? I just wanted to make sure you were ok!"
"What's my problem?.." Raven Turned around and faced him "How would YOU feel if you were out of place!? How would you feel if you were nothing?"
Raven felt how she accidentally let her emotions slip out of her control, Beast Boy was just surprised at her sudden outburst, he didn't know how bad Raven was feeling, he just felt like garbage for not noticing the past few months, he knew she was acting wierder than normal but he didn't pay it much of importance, he felt like a really bad friend.
Decided, he felt like he needed to help her, he had an idea as to why she was acting this way but he needs to make sure, to just ask her what's wrong.
"Raven... do you -" however he was cut short by Raven.
"Im just tired of this Beast Boy, I hate to be treatened like nothing, I hate to just be able to trust in myself!" at this the light bulbs exploded, then Raven left everyone behind shocked that she had such feelings, feelings of being alone with no other to trust than herself.. loneliness
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead
'I can't believe I just let it all out on Beast Boy...'
Raven's emotions were all tainted with guilt, Sure Beast Boy was being annoying to Raven but she let all his thoughts crash on Beast Boy, it's like she slapped him for no reason.
All her emotions felt the need to apologize, except rude and hate, such things like:
'I can't be happy if I don't apologize'
'Not apologizing is for cowards, honorable persons apologize!'
'Will he accept my apology if I play 'stankball?'
Heading to the rooftop, Raven couldn't do more than to just ask herself if she should listen to her emotions for once..
So complicated, look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
She just wonders if screaming to Beast Boy was going too far.. well she almost always screams to Beast Boy when his stupid pranks catch her, but this time it was different, he didn't do anything wrong, it was quite the contrary..
Thinking back on the discussion, the hate towards people and herself makes her feel like crap, in an anger impulse she hitted the wall and then just crouched, hugged her knees and silently cried for what felt the first time.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I see you do the same
Beast Boy followed Raven, without her knowing since he was morphed as a fly, wen he reached the rooftop, he saw raven there sitting alone and.. crying? who thought she could cry!?
He morphed back into his human being, aproaching her with a worried look "Raven?..."
She noticed him so she hid herself even more in his hoodie, unable to look at him.
"Raven? Are you ok?"
"..I want to be alone.."
"Aaaw c'mon, Raven, why were you crying?"
"..."
"If it was about before, im not mad at you, just for you to-"
"It's not about that... I just... hate all, I hate myself, my past, who I am, I hate the others..and I hate being alone... Hate being nothing..."
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, fucking perfect
Beast Boy sat next to Raven, she hoped for him to just turn around and leave
"Raven you're not nothing, you may think you are, but you are a lot more than nothing... I-I mean that .. you have a lot to give even if you don't think you'll receive, and, if you haven't seen it yet, you are the strongest of the titans, even if you don't think so, you are"
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are fucking perfect to me
...
The whole world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold tea
Raven watched as her teammates danced in the club while she was sitting, waiting to go home, she sighed impatiently, the noise was giving her a headache, feeling stupid for even agreeing to accompany their friends when they didn't even need her there, she was practically dragged here by Starfire but still..
"My kingdom for a moment of peace.."
So cool in lying and we tried, tried, tried
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time
The others planned the gala party for tomorrow, new year, they didn't even know if Raven wants to join them, they acted like not miding that to not make her worry, even though they wanted Raven to join them the most though.
She knew about the party, it was pointless lying for her if she already knew they want her to join them, she just didn't feel like going out of her room tomorrow, after all, what's so nice about a new year? it's pointless.
Done looking for the critics 'cause they're everywhere
They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair
Strange ourselves and we do it all the time
Raven just hated to pretend that she didn't know people are looking her, fans or whatever, she didn't care, but she couldn't lie to herself about the gala party that her team mates wanted to do in the T tower, maybe she should at least be there with them..
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
...
Why do I do that?
Ooh, pretty, pretty, pretty
Everyone was in the T tower main room, Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy.. having fun, talking, eating, but it wasn't the same without Raven, even though she never come to parties, it would be nice to get her to see the fireworks and have fun with her teammates, after all the T-Tower has the nicest view to the city and the fireworks.
"Hey dude, so Raven's not going out of her room after all?" said Beast Boy almost saddened that she wasn't there with her friends instead of just staying alone.
"I think not, I hope the sound it's not too loud, I don't really wan't to disturb her if she's meditating in her room.." Robin just looked at Starfire who was already making her way to the door, silently telling her that she shouldn't go looking for her.
"But Friend Raven should com-" And as of cue the door opened.
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, fucking perfect
Raven stepped in, she was in a nice black formal dress, she got boots but of a dark color and black gloves, she has a white rose on her hair, she has a nice smile, everyone though they were insane or were just hitted in the head but when they realized that it was in fact Raven, the real Raven who stood there, they just cheered her and watched the fireworks together.
Beast Boy could feel she was happy, and he was happy for her too.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are fucking perfect to me
You are perfect!
Raven and Beast Boy, still seating in the rooftop, were appreciating the sunny day, still, Raven couldn't believe what Beast Boy said of her, after what she said to him before in that little fight.. such things he said to her now, after all that, like "- even if you don't think so, you are.."
Raven still huggin her knees, looked at Beast Boy, "I don't know how you can think such good things of me.. even though im imperfect"
Beast Boy looked at her like what she was saying was crazy .
"Raven, you're not imperfect!, You know what a think of you?"
Raven just silently looked at him, giving him a puzzled look.
"Raven, you are fucking perfect to me!" said Beast Boy giving her his biggest smile.
"And im not the only one that thinks that!" Beast Boy pointed behing his back, smiling even more.
Raven looked behind Beast Boy, There was Robin, Cyborg and Starfire, all smiling to her "yhea!" they said, stepping even closer.
Cyborg gave her thumbs up, Robin a smile, Starfire had her smile and arms open ready to hug.
Beast Boy offered Raven a Hand, as if to never leaving her behind.
"So? are you coming or not?" he smiled, everyone waiting for her.
Raven was happy to have such friends, wait no, wrong word, such Family it is..
You're perfect!
You're perfect!
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect
To me...
Note to: Raven
From: Beast Boy
You may think you're alone Raven, But you're not.
With Love BB.
Autor note: Phew, im kinda happy about how it turned out, I want to clarify something
- The note from BB to Rae it's supossed that he gave it to Raven after their talk on the rooftop :3
- in the last part, where BB tells Rae she is fucking perfect it was the rest of the flashback were Raven smash all his toughts in BB and he founds her in the rooftop and the gala party was the same day but at the night, when they were on the disco, was yesterday, a day before, and the first part were raven just stood where she had a little discussion with BB was the daily routine of Raven's life, so It was like 1 week before and the fight with plasmus was the same day :D, The song "Fucking Perfect" belongs to the solist "P!nk", search for her song on youtube and you will have an idea of the story :) THANKS FOR READING n,n
PS: if Raven was a bit OOC, srry, I don't really think I changed her too much but if I did, sorry!, it was supossed that Raven was kinda depressed for being alone, that's what she though but it wasn't like that ;)
NOTE: The lyrics of the song are pointed out as the black letters you see in the middle after every flashback, the lyrics explains a lot of the story and about Raven, so keep an eye to them and connect the dots to every flashback :D