Title: Telling Off Tallis
Summary: Hawke doesn't like having her friends insulted so she tells Tallis to back off. Kmeme prompt fill.
Disclaimer: I do not own, I just borrow. All hail Bioware.
Warning: Some Mark of the Assassin DLC spoilers & Tallis bashing.
Last edited: Jan 5, 2012. Thanks to Girl-chama for pointing out a spelling error.
Crawling around in dank underground caves wasn't exactly how Hawke had envisioned spending her little vacation. A little wyvern hunting sounded adventurous enough. When was she one to turn down some good old-fashioned monster slaying anyways? Even some mingling with noblemen had its perks. Less exciting but at least there would be free food. But crawling through underground caverns to escape execution? No, wasn't on the list of things to do.
Nope. Absolutely not how Hawke imagined spending her time at Chateau Haine at all.
She sighed. But of course she was the Champion of Kirkwall. Magnet for mischief and mayhem, and today's specialty was… drumroll please… lying, backstabbing, thief assassins! Ta-da!
What should have been a simple jewel heist turned into a full blown mess all because of that annoying little twat Tallis.
Hawke could feel her pulse pounding at the sides of her temples when Tallis and Fenris started going at it. To escape the bickering, the mage Champion tried keeping her pace steadily ahead of the others. She desperately wanted to put distance between her fist and Tallis' face ever since the rogue revealed her identity and true intentions hours earlier. Initially, Hawke had been calm and cool throughout the whole revelation but now her teeth were gritting and her migraine was getting worse by the minute.
"But your accent is terrible," Tallis said so sickeningly casual. The fake sugary sweet tone in her voice was nauseating. So distracted by it, Hawke tripped over some gravel on the ground. Luckily, Anders had been there to catch her before she fumbled face forward into the dirt.
In an effort to calm herself down, the Champion tried some breathing exercises by inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth at a steady rhythm. After all, Carver was the hotheaded one in the family, not her. She was the diplomatic one. The rational one. The calm, sometimes witty, sometimes sarcastic one. But never like Carver. Never hotheaded. She needed to keep her cool. They would make it out of the caverns alive, she reasoned. And then have a nice, tall, ice cold drink on Varric's tab afterwards too, she thought.
But then the sneaky, lying, backstabbing, thief rogue had the nerve to turn on Isabela. "I used to be like you," Tallis chirped. Hawke rolled her eyes. Hadn't they been there before? Done and said that? Wasn't that Sebastian last week? No, he hadn't been mocking and rude like Tallis. He had been… more tactful.
"I told myself if I never cared about anyone or anything, I could never be hurt. Life would be fun. But it wasn't. There was a hole inside me. Nothing I did ever filled it."
While Isabella snickered, Hawke felt her eye start twitching. Little sparks of lightning began bouncing off her right hand and she shook it to shake them off, willing herself to just breathe and calm down. She quickened her stride and turned to the left sharply in an effort escape the screeching sound that was Tallis' voice.
"Not everything should be easy. Don't you ever wonder what it would be like? A life with meaning, with purpose?" Hawke heard murmured behind her. All her blood was rushing to her head at this point, making the pounding sound of her pulse all the more deafening in her ears.
Who was Tallis to talk about meaning and purpose? What made her the grand expert? Maker's balls, even Anders' wasn't this annoying and he whined all the time about the mage's plight. Eh, but at least he was pretty to look when he talked…
Hawke sighed, shaking her head and wishing for the day to end already.
But then Isabela answered confidently, "I have a purpose. I have Hawke." And that brought a little smile to the Champion's lips and warm fuzzy feelings in her gut. Atta girl, Is. You put her in her place!
"Lucky you," Tallis grumbled.
Anders came up from behind, placing an encouraging hand on Isabela's shoulder. The two exchanged a look before Anders turned to Tallis, smug grin on his countenance.
"Jealousy never hurt anyone. Much."
Everyone giggled but Tallis, who rolled her eyes and begrudgingly dragged her feet along.
"You realize that Qunari make the Circle of Magi look like a pleasant vacation," Hawke heard Anders say dryly.
And to her surprise Tallis answered briskly, "Yes."
"And you're alright with that?" he asked.
How could anyone be alright with that? Stitching someone's mouth shut, leashing them, chaining them, mutilating them for simply being born a mage? For having the gift of magic.
"It doesn't make me believe in the Qun any less," Tallis defended.
How does one believe in something that treats its citizens and believers so cruelly? Hawke wondered, blindly leading everyone through the maze of caves. She held a breath waiting for Anders' reply, sure he would have something snappy to say.
"But you think it's all right for them to sew up a mage's mouth or cut out his tongue?" he asked rather pointedly.
"Right this second I do, yes."
Snap.
The thin thread of patience Hawke had for Tallis just broke. The imaginary lines of decency and respect were just crossed. There was no way she would take this undeserved and outright insulting from this lying thief any longer.
"ARGHHHH! TALLIS," Hawke growled, spinning around on her heels so abruptly that Tallis didn't even have a moment to brake, bumping into the human mage head on. "You. Shut. Up. Or I'll sew your mouth shut!"
Everyone stared at Hawke in surprise. The typically quiet Champion of Kirkwall was now in Tallis' face, nose to nose, backing the assassin up against a wall as her face twitched like a mad man and sparks of lightning began building up into orbs in her palms.
"Uhhh Hawke...?" Tallis squeaked nervously.
"No! Shut up! The sound of your voice is like… nails on a chalkboard."
Tallis closed her agape mouth while her eyes widened with fear.
"Do you have any idea how annoying you are? How much you yap, and yap, and yap, and talk? I didn't come all the way here to hear you talk! I came here to help you recover some precious jewel or slay some renegade Saarebas or whatever… and we didn't even do that correctly!" Hawke punctuated her point with wild flailing of her arms, pointing up down left right and all over the place, waving her pointer finger crazily in Tallis' stunned face.
"I've been patient with you Tallis. I've been polite and diplomatic but no more! I was in no way obligated to help you whatsoever, but hey! I'm a nice person, right? I'm a generous person! I figured, why not? What could go wrong –"
Fenris opened his mouth to answer the rhetorical question, but the fierce look in Hawke's eyes as she snapped her head to him shut him up immediately. She quickly returned her rage back onto Tallis who tried to slink away if not for the forceful slamming of Hawke's hand into the wall next to her face.
"I've done everyone you've asked of me and yet, you feel the need to insult my lover and my companions for absolutely no reason. I've half my mind to just abandon you here and let the ghasts or wyverns or creepy, crawling cavern dwellers have their fun with you!"
Hawke's enraged voice echoed in the empty caves, making her seem all the more ferocious.
"If you have nothing nice to say," she shrieked, shaking her pointer finger in Tallis' face. "Then don't say anything at all because as far as I am concerned, you mean nothing to me and they," swinging her arm around behind her to her three best friends, "mean everything to me. Where do you think my loyalties lie, Tallis? Hmm? Certainly not with you." She growled low and predatory.
Despite the severity of the situation, Isabela and Anders both managed a smile and brought their hands to cover over their hearts at Hawke's profession of love and devotion. Fenris simply leaned against his Blade of Mercy and smirked smugly as the ranting continued to unfold.
"I'm the bloody Champion of Kirkwall. Your jewel? Your mission? Your whatever! Chump change! I don't need it and I certainly don't need your crap, so shut it or I'll shut it for you!"
In a flash, Hawke had her hand in Tallis' face again, this time with an enormous ball of lightning hovering in it. The rogue gulped thickly, fully understanding that if she didn't keep her mouth shut, Hawke might just make her eat it. Tallis nodded furiously in response, agreeing to Hawke's terms.
Isabela snickered, leaning into Fenris to whisper, "It's always the quiet ones that snap." And Fenris nodded in agreement.
For the rest of their journey Tallis kept her word, keeping conversation light and polite should she wish not to eat a lightning ball for lunch.
A/N: I realize in-game you are only allowed two companions and Tallis, but she insulted my top three favourite characters. They all needed to see the smack down happen. Second, I rushed through MotA and I'm in no hurry to replay it ever again so forgive me if my timeline for dialogue is a bit off.
Thanks for reading.
Please review. They are much appreciated.