Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go. Or even have stock in it.
This is just a short one-shot I wrote in honors of today's festivities. :D Gotta love an April Fool. (Don't take this too seriously. I've just been dying to write recently. So I did.)
April Fools Day didn't exist in the Go Association. Sure, a few younger pros still pulled pranks on their friends and the insei liked to make a day out of it. No year would go by without at least one well placed whoopie cushion and a few streamers dangling from the ceiling, but that was it. Go players were serious and focused and did not waste their time with childish antics.
That is, until Shindou Hikaru stormed through on an unsuspecting April first.
The schedule managers had given Shindou the day off, though if anyone had had any idea of what was to take place, they would have sent him to a far off Go convention to keep him busy for the entire week. It seems he enjoys this Western holiday and finds the idea of using it against his colleagues, which - thanks to his recent winning streak - are all upper professionals, amusing.
The first prank had three victims before it was rectified. It seems Shindou managed to take a wrench to the water fountain and twisted the spout upwards. When the lever was pressed, the water shot higher than usual and drenched the unlucky professionals from the face down. At first, it was seen as a mere plumbing issue and management was sent to fix it up before more people were caught in the water. A quick twist and the spout was back to normal, fixing the first prank.
It was after the second prank that management, and the other Go players, began to get suspicious. This time, there were six victims. How and when Shindou managed to pull this off may never be known, but somehow he picked the lock on the upstairs vending machine and began switching the drinks around. A testament to his genius, he alternated between the right and wrong drinks, leading Ashiwara-san, the first victim, to get orange juice instead of his soda. When he complained, Ogata-san investigated to stop the other's whimpering. As Shindou had set up, when Ogata-san pressed the button for the same drink he received a soda and chastised Ashiwara-san, assuming the younger had just pressed the wrong button.
This continued for a while until someone realized that six people getting the wrong drinks was not a coincidence. Sure enough, when they opened the vending machine the drinks were a mess. It took nearly twenty minutes for the beverages to all be put back in the right places. The Go Association was starting to realize that April Fools was upon them.
After the first two pranks, the third prank was rather dull, yet still one of Shindou's best, if for the humiliation factor over anything else. An "out-of-order" sign was tacked on the elevator, sending a few grumbling pros up the staircase instead of their usual elevator ride. Most assumed by this point, that Shindou had messed with the wiring and the Association's management was busy fixing things. In fact, due to the Association only having a half-dozen floors, all the grumbling remained trapped in the staircase as the professionals climbed level after level, and the complaints never reached management. It wasn't until Kuwabara-sensei stepped out of the elevator on the fifth floor that the professionals realized they had been duped. Even after two pranks, Shindou was still a step ahead of his colleges.
Now that three pranks had been successfully sprung in one day, the other professionals were beginning to get antsy and paranoid, waiting for the next attack. Management had ruefully thrown around the idea of firing Shindou, but he hadn't actually done anything to disrupt any of the games and he was still important to the Association, but everyone's wires were fried and nerves were on end. The professional world had never played host to a prankster before.
Shindou's final prank was his most dangerous and toed the line of morality. To my greatest delight, I had a front row seat to the show.
After Ogata-san's game, he left the Association, standing outside the front doors as usual for a smoke before he drove home. He said it calmed his nerves and gave him a chance to review the game in his mind while it was still fresh. I finished my game at the same time as he did, and was offered a ride home, so I joined him outside, waiting for him to finish so we could head to the parking garage he kept his sports car in.
I still cannot fathom how Shindou set this up, but it was the one prank he relied on a joke shop for. Ogata-san slipped a cigarette out of his box and put it to his lips, lighting it the same way he had since he was sixteen. He breathed in and out, causing the cigarette to burn faster. And then a pop. And a crackle. Without a warning, the cigarette exploded between Ogata-san's teeth causing him to jump involuntarily and drop the paper from his lips as an unbecoming yelp dropped with it.
At first all I could process was horror. Racing through my veins and pounding against my brain was sure fear at the thought of anyone, ever causing Ogata-san to lose his cool temperament. As I looked up at those cold cerulean eyes wide in terror, I laughed. That is one of my biggest regrets, but for the seventeen years I have know Ogata, I have never seen him make that face, and I never shall again, I'm sure. However, for the privilage of being able to see Ogata-san in such a state of shock, I could deal with forever being on his bad side.
In Shindou's defense, he deserved some retribution for all the Sai abuse Ogata-san has put him through. Though, as I looked at those shocked blue eyes slit and growl, I realized that moment of retribution would just make matters worse for a certain green-eyed imp. I hoped, in that moment, I would not see him for at least a week. For his sake, perhaps more.
Nonetheless, Shindou brought April Fools to the Go Association that year, and reminded us of it's one moral: The unsuspecting are the easiest targets.