Bella. My Bella...no not my Bella. A searing shot of pain inflicted my heart as I thought of this, I did not mind this though. In fact I relished it, reminding myself of what a soul-less monster I was. I felt like jumping off a cliff of great heights, landing in shark infested waters, ha as if that would end my existence. I am a demon, sent from hell, the sole purpose of me made to destroy innocents. Innocents like Bella, beautiful selfless Bella, but never my self- the immortal creature.
I could hear Esme's thoughts downstairs, she was worried about me as always, it was probably due to the fact that she, like everybody else,had not seen me since the day after I left Bella- my breathing the only thing reassuring her I was here. I was wearing the the same clothes I wore when I left Bella in the woods, my hair mostly gone, I had cut it a couple of days after I had left Bella, wanting to be seen as a blank canvas, void of any emotions or memories on the surface. It helped that vampires hair didn't grow, I didn't need to keep on top of it, I chose not to bath or shower as well, going out only to hunt once every couple of months. The more time I had doing nothing the more time I could spend with thoughts of Bella swimming around my head, my own personal version of dreaming.
Carlisle's mental voice interrupted my thoughts
'Edward' he shouted in his head 'family meeting, make sure you come, you are part of this family' he commanded. Ugh, great, it thought sarcastically. But I thought I'd better go, it must be important if I was called to attend. I slowly got up to my feet and risked a glance in the mirror- I looked awful. That didn't matter though as long as Bella was safe and without me there she would be much safer, well as safe as a danger magnet can be I added. I creaked my bedroom door open and trudged down the the stairs, ready to be greeted by the wrath of my family.
I heard six mental gasps as I turned the corner, coming into their view.
"Mind reader remember?" I attempted to joke, but my voice came out in a horrible dead monotone. Esme was the first to break the silence, running over to me and enveloping me in a motherly embrace. I buried my face into her neck and she kissed a bald spot on top of my head. I tuned into my families thoughts.
'My baby! How could we have let him get like this!'-ESME
'Dude, you look so rough'-EMMETT
'They think he looks bad on the outside, imagine if they felt his emotions...'-JASPER
'He looks bad...he must of really loved her, I feel almost bad for giving her a hard time now, she made him so happy. If your listening Edward I said almost.'-ROSALIE
'What happened to him? Poor Edward, I knew he should have stayed with Bella, they were meant to be.'-ALICE
The thoughts that surprised me the most though were Carlisle's, he was literally at a loss for thoughts never mind words. I think he's always thought of me to be the the one who can handle anything, clearly not this time- Bella's changed everything about me. I was getting tired of them gawking at me like I was half-human-half-vampire! I moved around them and made my way to the Dining room, or family meeting room, I looked behind me to see them still staring at the the spot I had just left, this was grating on my nerves. Jasper must have noticed my mood because he was the first to regain his composure, he followed my into the dining room, dragging Alice along with him. I sat down and the others soon followed, I was sat in between Alice and Emmett. Carlisle cleared his throat and began,
"Well now that everyone's here we can begin" he paused and met everyone's gazes "as you know it has been nearly a year since we left Forks." Yes I knew I had been counting the days, 340days ago I left the love of my existence. Carlisle continued
"So to keep up apprentices it may be a good idea to start high school..." I cut him off with a groan, I should have known this was coming, we had been in our home in Canada for quite a while now.
"I can't." I half whined to Carlisle Emmett snickered
"You can always wear a wig Edward!" Trust Emmett to make jokes at a time like this. I turned to glare at Emmett,
"I don't mean that Emmett, I don't care how I look!" I growled at him, then sighed "I just can't bear to go to high school again, it's too much" I whispered in a hoarse pained whisper. They all gave me sympathetic looks.
"What about college?" Carlisle asked "You've not attended college for a while." I actually thought about this and it didn't seem like such a bad idea. As long as I tried to block peoples thoughts out while we were there it should be fine.
"Yeah, whatever." I mumbled in response, seeing he was seeking an answer, I really wanted to be in dreamland with Bella again. All the others agreed as well, so in a month I would be starting college at Dartmouth-wonderful, I thought sarcastically.