FOOL ME TWICE
"Frankly I wouldn't have done it." The men looked over at LeBeau with quizzical expressions on their faces as Kinch unplugged the coffeepot. Carter challenged him, citing his earlier statement to Newkirk that a Frenchman loves his country more than a beautiful woman. LeBeau rolled his eyes and continued, "Are you crazy? You can always find another country, but you can't always find a beautiful woman!" LeBeau's eyes flashed with amusement as he spoke his last sentence, letting them all know that he wasn't serious. Hogan carried it even further, pointing a playful finger at Carter.
A few minutes later, the door to Hogan's quarters slowly opened and Newkirk trudged in, hands jammed in his pockets, eyes downcast in embarrassment. "Well I suppose you lot 'eard it all then?" he spat. "Especially the last part where she 'anded me me 'eart on a platter?" He sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, the very picture of dejection.
Hogan nodded and tried to deflect the conversation. "Yes, we heard your broadcast Peter. You were great, as usual. We all knew you'd come through, you always do." The rest of the men chimed in with similar sentiments, trying to cheer up their obviously despondent comrade.
The Colonel glanced at Kinch and gestured with his eyes. Kinch got the message immediately. "C'mon guys, let's get ready for lights out." He herded Carter and LeBeau out the door, pausing to firmly grip Newkirk's shoulder before he exited. He leaned in and whispered, "Don't feel too bad old buddy." Newkirk didn't respond.
Hogan gestured to Newkirk. "Sit down Peter." The English Corporal sat down on the bottom bunk and heaved another sigh, his eyes still focused on the floor. "Peter, I…" Hogan barely got the words out before Newkirk interrupted him.
"I made a bloody fool of meself again Colonel!" he cried. "I can't believe I swallowed the pony that ruddy bird gave me!" He dropped his head into his hands. Bleedin' hell! Didn't he learn anything from the affair with Gretel? It had certainly been a lot easier when he didn't have to make any moral judgments about the people he dealt with. It had been a lot easier to simply assume they didn't have his best interests at heart and proceed from there. Blimey!
Hogan sighed. He had a gut feeling that out of all of his command crew, Newkirk was the most fragile one emotionally. Oh he usually spun a marvelous tale, always held all of the cards with a few extra up his sleeve, talked a smashing good game, and put up the boldest, cockiest, most audacious front. Yet this whole episode with Berlin Betty revealed a tender side of the Englishman that no one had expected and Hogan blamed himself for it. As far as he was concerned, it was his fault that Newkirk now cared. It had taken quite some time, but the Englishman had changed from the suspicious, paranoid, untrusting and utterly selfish person he had been when Hogan first came to Stalag 13. Hogan suspected when he had first met the RAF Corporal that someone or something had damaged his psyche very early on in life. The Englishman never spoke about it and had not allowed anyone to get close enough to him to find out what it was.
"Peter you can't blame yourself for feeling the way you did. Didn't she deliberately lead you on?"
"Well yes but…"
"Granted, we should have been a bit more suspect, given that she broadcasts for the Nazis." He held up his hand to forestall Newkirk's interruption and lobbed a comment in from way out in left field. "Peter, it's been quite a while hasn't it?"
Newkirk looked up sharply, his eyebrows raised. He knew what the Colonel was getting at, and he nodded quickly.
"I can't really blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself. You carried out the mission successfully and that's what counts."
Newkirk sighed. "But what is wrong with me Colonel? Why do I keep messin' up when it comes to these birds?"
Hogan sat next to Newkirk on the bunk and put an arm around his shoulder. "Did it ever occur to you that you're just lonely Peter?"
Newkirk rolled his eyes, uncomfortable with this subject. "Well sir that's a given. I mean, it's not just me. We're all in the same boat 'ere." Oh Blimey! Kinch must've told 'im about me askin' London to track down Rita!
Hogan nodded. "Your girlfriend stopped writing didn't she?"
Newkirk dropped his head again. "Yes sir. She 'as. And I know why. Me sister Mavis told me in 'er last letter." He raised his head and scrubbed a hand across his face. "Apparently she's goin' round with another bloke. And a ground wallah to boot!"
Hogan stood up and took a seat at his desk. He looked back at Newkirk with a sigh. "Peter, don't take this wrong...but you haven't exactly been an angel yourself."
"I know Colonel. I know. But all these birds I've met 'ere 'ave just been so much crumpet. That's all! I 'aven't met anyone I'd want to settle down and raise a family with. I just always thought Rita'd be there waitin' for me when I got back."
Hogan blinked in surprise. He never knew Newkirk harbored such ambitions. The Englishman noticed his commanding officer's reaction and smiled ruefully.
"Never pegged me for that one, eh Colonel?"
Hogan nodded.
"Me neither, until just lately. Since the war looks to be windin' down in our favor I've been doin' a lot of thinkin'. I've been thinkin' I'd maybe like to settle down when it's all over with. I want somethin' real for a change, Colonel. I'm thinkin' it just may be possible for me after all."
We finally reached him! Hogan smiled inwardly to hear his Corporal's last sentence. "I'm glad you're thinking beyond all of this Peter. But may I remind you that it's not over yet?"
"I know sir. A lot can still 'appen, both for good and for bad."
"Well don't give up hope Peter. Just concentrate on getting through to the end. I'm sure when this is all over, you'll find a girl who'll be just perfect for you."
Newkirk rolled his eyes and looked up at his commanding officer with a slight smirk. "You're sure about that, are ya? Wish I could be."
"Trust me. I firmly believe that there's someone for each one of us."
"Wish I 'ad yer confidence sir." Hogan took Newkirk by the shoulders and looked him square in his face as he spoke.
"Read my lips Peter: trust me. One day in the future, when you're sitting in front of a roaring fire, with your wife at your side and your children snuggled all around you, you'll remember this day and it'll all be worth it."
Newkirk looked his commanding officer in the eyes and dared to reveal the hopeful longing in his own eyes. "Thanks sir. I pray you're right."
Hogan simply nodded. "Good night Peter. Get some rest." He clapped Newkirk on the back as he rose. "And well done! You've helped us accomplish another difficult mission." He watched his English Corporal closely as he left the room with his head held high. He sighed and wrapped his arms around himself. I am right Peter! Just wait and see; you of all people deserve some happiness.
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15 February 1952, 1900 hrs
Peter shook his head in wonder. The Colonel was always right, wasn't he? He gazed affectionately at his precious little family all gathered around him on the sofa in front of a blazing warm hearth. Jo leaned against his right shoulder as she breast-fed Andrew. He tightened his arm around her and drew her closer. She looked up at him with a knowing, satisfied smile.
Young Robbie sat at his left, busily scarfing down his mother's homemade chocolate biscuits. "Slow down there son! Don't choke yerself!" Peter reached down to snatch a biscuit off the plate before they all disappeared. He chucked it whole in his mouth in imitation of his son.
Robbie looked up and nodded, his mouth full. "Yes, da!" spewing crumbs everywhere as he spoke. Peter wrapped his left arm around his rambunctious oldest son and laughed heartily.
Yes Colonel sir! You were right as usual. It was worth it!