To Foil a Liar
Alvin smiled uncomfortably as he was connected to the polygraph test. He'd done research on them in the past, partly from experience. However, he knew to keep his breathing normal and dutifully counted his amount of breaths per minute. The officer who sat him down was a surprisingly beautiful woman, with surprisingly long hair that seemed as though it couldn't possibly adhere to the guidelines in the employee handbook.
"I don't think I've ever seen such a lovely officer," he said, with a playful grin as he looked down at her badge. "Miss…Maxwell?"
"Watch your gaze," she said, tightening the strap on his arm until he winced in pain. "And it's Officer Maxwell."
"Got it, I wouldn't want to upset a woman in uniform," he said lightly.
"Are you sure you don't want to make your one call before we do this?" she asked warily. "If you fail, we have to keep you here until someone posts bail money."
"I'll take my chances," he said with a wink.
She wasn't falling for his charm. "This is your last chance to change your mind before we start the test."
In reality, he only had one person he could turn to for bail money. That person was his cousin, Balan, who lived off of a comfortable six digit salary and would be able to afford the bail without it even dampening his weekly spending. Though his cousin's lucrative employment in the energy field made him able to afford bail, he was the last person Alvin wanted to turn it. Balan would never let him go another day without reminding him about the time he got taken in for a polygraph test based on the accusation of stalking and harassing a young man named Jude Mathis.
"Let's start," he said confidently.
Officer Maxwell shook her head at him. "Chief Mathis isn't going easy on you if you fail this."
"Come again?" Alvin asked, caught off guard.
"The young man you're accused of stalking is the police chief's son," she explained, sounding disgusted at his lack of knowledge.
He stared at her blankly for a moment as all of the information fell into place in his mind. It suddenly made sense why he was taken in under such strange accusations; he highly doubted that Jude would ever report for stalking, regardless of how often he appeared unexpectedly.
"We're starting. Is this the month of August?" she asked.
"Last I checked."
"Yes or no only, please," she said with a frown. "Is it August?"
"Yes."
"Is your real name Alfred Vint Svent?"
"Yes."
"Do you know a young man named Jude Mathis?"
"Yes."
"Did you give your real name to Mr. Mathis?"
"Not yet," he said honestly.
"Yes or no, Mr. Svent," she said pointedly.
"No."
"Are you aware that Mr. Mathis is only seventeen?"
He knew that she was getting into the selective questions and made sure to answer at the same place he did when he was being honest. "No."
"Are you pursuing a romantic relationship with Mr. Mathis?"
He thought back to her warning and made sure that his response was deliberately calm.
"No."
"Have you ever confronted Mr. Mathis suddenly on an unplanned occasion?"
There was that one time that he surprised Jude after work, with the best of intentions, but quickly decided that something so harmless couldn't possibly count, even if Jude had technically told him not to do it ever again.
Then there was the second time he did that, but all that thought was delaying his answer. "No."
"Have you ever confronted Mr. Mathis when he told you not to?"
"No," he said, extra careful to keep his breathing even for that one.
"Have you ever used other people to give you information on Mr. Mathis' whereabouts?"
He thought back to when he bought Jude's friend Leia three servings of dessert to get a copy of Jude's work schedule from her, but that was a fair trade in his mind. "No."
The lie detector test continued in that fashion, with repetitive and similar questions. Alvin was eager for it to be over, but he knew that he couldn't let his impatience accelerate his heart rate or cause him to perspire. He was generally a good liar, but being attached to so many wires made it just slightly more difficult to keep calm.
He was told to wait alone in the room after Officer Maxwell finished the test and went to make a print out of the results. He let out a sigh of relief when she closed the door and was out of earshot, but he heard the definitive click of a lock closing on the other side of the door. He blinked in the direction of the sound, knowing that it couldn't be a good sign.
A small eternity seemed to pass before Officer Maxwell returned, slapping a print out of his results on the table and holding handcuffs in her other hand. He glanced to the red marks beside all the questions he had failed and looked back at her with wide eyes.
"Woah, woah, isn't this a little quick?" he asked, shrinking back. "These old fashioned polygraph tests aren't concrete anymore, right?"
She grabbed his scarf to pull him forward and had his arms pinned behind his back in a manner of seconds. She moved behind him so quickly that her hair hit him in the face and caused him to sneeze. She sighed in disgust at him as she closed the handcuffs around his wrists.
"Aren't brain scan lie detector tests the new thing? Can I get one of those?" he asked hopefully.
"If you failed this, you'll fail that one even worse," she said flatly.
She pushed him forward and out of the chair roughly. He stood up and she pushed him along as she started to recite his rights. Alvin grimaced as he was escorted down the hall and eyed the phones grimly. He could already hear his cousin mocking him and he could visualize the suggestively mocking holiday cards he would receive for the next ten years.
Birthday present for a friend!
I did some very questionable Google searches while working on this fic, including typical polygraph questions, typical polygraph questions for suspected stalkers, and best of all, how to cheat a polygraph test.