This is my big fic. I've written about three fics that I'm uber proud of, and here is one of them!! It's in progress, and so far, it's 74 chapters, so it will take a while to upload it on . If you want to read it all now, it's on Nancyfan . com. If you can't find it, let me know and I'll give ya the address!

I began writing this after Alexis' surgery, but before chemo ... rated Mature for violence and some graphic scenes.

Monsters

Chapter One

Was it possible to be raped by your own husband? Yeah. She knew that. She denied it for about ten minutes after it happened … lying there on the floor where he left her, clothes torn, half naked, bleeding from the torn stitches on her wound that stretched from under her right breast to right above her navel. She had been home for one day from the hospital. One day, and her life was turned upside down. Ric was insane. Ric was psychotic. Ric was dead. She stood over his body now … not knowing how she got there, with her gun in her hand. She looked down at her husband's lifeless face in terror. She killed him. She meant to. She closed her eyes but still saw his face. She opened them and looked away, but it was still there. She sat on the couch, facing away from him, placing the gun to the side of her, close enough to grab it again, just in case he had more life in him … he didn't. Her left hand reached over to her side, holding her bloody shirt hard against her open wound, wincing in pain, remembering finally that she had to do something, or she would be lying there next to him, dead.

"Sonny?"

"Alexis? It's three o'clock in the morning."

"I need you to come over. Bring Jason." She hung up.

He had never heard that Alexis before. Her voice was full of fear, shaken, painful. Her voice had no life in it. He gently lifted himself out of the bed, careful not to wake Kristina and Morgan who had crawled in with him four hours ago, both having separate nightmares. Sonny knew that Morgan's nightmare was about a bad man he saw on one of his favorite television shows, or an imaginary threat. Kristina's, he knew, was about her mother … dying. Sonny jogged down the stairs, calling Jason on his cell.

"Meet me at Alexis'. I don't know what's going on, but it sounded bad. Tell Sam to get over here as soon as possible to watch the kids."

Jason responded with a, "Yeah" and hung up, turning over to wake Sam, who had joined him for his first night home from Buenos Aires. They had reunited, deciding to hide it from Alexis until she was stronger, then they would tell her, "To hell with you, we're together … deal with it" and pick back up where they left off. Sam didn't ask any questions, she was too tired to really care. She headed over to Sonny's after kissing Jason goodbye. She was used to this … them leaving to do 'business' in the middle of the night … so she didn't ask. She and Carly understood to not ask … not to interfere, that way, they would be able to stay with these men they loved and blindly live as if they were married to real businessmen. Alexis hadn't a clue how to be a mob moll. She was too independent and strong to admit that love ruled over everything. Sam rolled her eyes once more at the thought of her mother constantly interfering in her life. Once at Sonny's, she crawled in the bed with Kristina and Morgan and fell into a wonderful sleep, with no worries in the world.

Sonny walked through the door first, stopping in his tracks at the scene before him. Alexis was sitting on the couch, staring at the wall in front of her, not responding to the sound of him walking through. Ric was on the floor, eyes open, but lifeless, four gunshots to the chest and one to the forehead from what Sonny could see. Then he saw the blood, not Ric's, but Alexis'. It was covering her hand and half of her lower arm, soaked into her white button up shirt, and dripping onto her legs, which were bare. Sonny ran instinctively to Alexis and knelt in front of her.

"Alexis?" He questioned, reaching down to remove her hand from holding her side. Jason stood at the door, in shock.

Alexis looked down to her bloody hand while Sonny lifted up her shirt to look at the extent of the damage … it was bad. He lowered her shirt and placed his hands on the outside of her bloody legs. Before he could say her name again, she whispered, barely audible,

"Hospital. Dump the body." She met his eyes and they scared him. She was as lifeless as Ric was. He then went into action, noticing the gun to her right side, picking it up and placing it securely where his gun was usually kept. He then looked to Jason, and didn't need to say a thing.

"I'll take care of it. Go," ordered the younger man, springing into action himself, ripping out his cell phone to call their 'clean up' men.

"Okay, honey, I'm going to pick you up," Sonny said softly, running his hand soothingly through Alexis' hair, maintaining eye contact, "Are you in much pain in that position?" There was no response from Alexis.

"Okay, well, I'm going to try to not move you around too much, but it's going to hurt. Listen," he held her face in his hands, trying to get through to her, "just, scream or curse, or, here," he showed her his hand, "squeeze my hand as hard as you need, I'm picking you up now." He wrapped his left arm under her bare legs and shifted his weight to guide her up from the couch, gently holding her to his chest in his arms. She didn't make a sound. Her hand that had been holding his right never flinched. She was completely gone. Her eyes were open though, staring straight ahead. He quickly and softly walked out the door to his car, placing her gently into the passenger's seat, still, no cries of pain or even a wince from her. He ran to the driver's side, wiping the blood from his hands onto his shirt, jumped in, and sped off, trying to dodge any potholes or anything in the road that would cause a bump. He looked over to her countless times and said her name through his tears, but no response. She stared at the road ahead of her. He was crying, and he didn't care. He wasn't crying for his brother. He wasn't crying because Alexis killed him. He was crying because she was in pain and she didn't even know it. She wasn't responding or talking to him in that voice. Her voice. The voice he heard in his dreams. Especially lately, since he found out she was sick. The dreams returned to him the night he found out about her cancer. The same dreams he had years ago of their night together, their friendship, their love … and he welcomed them. He had missed them. They had stopped after her sister's death. When she changed. When she became hard and hateful and bitter. He didn't blame her. He expected it. He would have been worried if she hadn't lashed out at him. Now he was worried because she said nothing … did nothing … she was just there.

Pulling up to the emergency room doors, he laid his fist into the horn of the car, hoping that help would come quickly. They did. Epiphany was the first one out, running to the car, pushing other nurses out of her way. She had grown quite fond of Mrs. Lansing-Davis and as soon as she saw the blood, she felt queasy. She never felt queasy … blood didn't bother her, but this did. There was so much. She yelled back to the techs that were on break from their rounds in the ambulance, and they quickly grabbed a gurney and rushed to the car. Sonny had opened the door to Alexis quickly and let the professionals take over. The tears were still streaming down his face. He ran alongside Alexis who still hadn't acknowledged the pain she was in as they rolled her into the emergency room. Monica, Robin, and Patrick ran to Alexis' side, Robin looking to Sonny, "What happened?" she yelled above the noise of the other doctors barking orders at the nurses.

'I don't know … ' is what Sonny wanted to say, but he knew they needed something … he had no clue. Alexis was in a white shirt and her panties … bleeding to death. He had no idea what had happened … so he lied …

"I think she fell … I'm really not sure. She called me from her house," Sonny moved back when more nurses crowded around, they were taking her into a restricted area and a tall male nurse held him back. Sonny couldn't let them take her without expressing some kind of love her way, "Alexis!" he yelled to her, as she rolled away, staring blankly at the ceiling, "You're going to be okay … Alexis!! Please … " he turned his attention to Robin, who was running alongside her. She looked back at Sonny and stopped, letting the others take her. She stared at Sonny's pained face for a few seconds.

"I can't … Robin … don't let her go." Sonny said barely loud enough for her to hear.

Robin nodded, keeping her eyes locked with his. She could see that this was really hurting him. "She'll be okay Sonny. I'll be out when we know something." And she ran down the hallway to join the others. Sonny glanced once more at where Alexis was, surrounded by very talented doctors that would do anything to save her and he breathed in heavily as doors shut in front of him.

--

An hour and four cups of coffee later, Sonny looked over to see Jason walking through the doors.

Jason walked up to him looking gravely concerned, "It's done … clean … how is she?"

Sonny let out a sarcastic laugh, "They WON'T tell me!" he yelled, directing his frustration away from Jason to the nurse's station. He saw Emily walk up and caught her eye. She became instantly distant, looking away. He walked past Jason up to her.

"Emily, any updates … any at all?"

"Sonny, what are you talking about?"

"Alexis! Jesus, Alexis has been back there for an hour. I want to know how she is."

Emily changed her expression to that of worry, "Sonny, I just got here, I'll go check … " and she ran back into the restricted area where he wasn't allowed.

He walked back over to the waiting area and sat. Hands on his knees, running them through his hair … Jason sat beside him and placed his hand supportively on his bosses back.

"She's gonna be okay Sonny."

Sonny shook his head and continued to think the worst, until Monica walked out briskly to meet them. Sonny and Jason stood up to meet her, worry and pain sketched on both faces.

"She's okay. She's in stable condition, but she lost a lot of blood, and I mean a lot. Sonny? I need you to call all of her relatives … and anyone you can think of, we need people to start getting down here to give blood …

Sonny turned quickly from her and grabbed his cell phone to call Sam … Nikolas … Carly … Jax … Mike … Viola … everyone he could think of.

Monica turned to Jason, "What the hell happened to her Jason?"

He looked over to Sonny who was quickly dialing the phone after talking to Sam for a split second, ordering her to call Leticia back from her vacation to come watch the kids … and to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Jason didn't know what Sonny had told the doctors, so he just lied to his mother and said he didn't know.

She left them to check up on Alexis.

Jason greeted Sam, Mike, and Jax about fifteen minutes later outside of the hospital. He brought them in to the nurse's station so they could be rushed to give blood. On the way, he updated them on her condition and lied once more, saying that they didn't know what happened. He needed to get Sonny alone to see what they were going to do. In the next thirty minutes, many people rushed in; from Ned to Nikolas to Carly, all giving blood for Alexis. The nurses finally had told the rest that they weren't needed, they had enough. The waiting room was packed. Robin sifted though the people to get to Sonny, who was staring at his watch in the corner, counting seconds in his head as it passed before him. He didn't like crowds … hell, especially when it consisted of people like Jax, Ned, and Nikolas, so he focused on the second hand on his watch, until Robin kneeled before him and whispered, "We need to talk."

He followed her to an empty room around the corner.

"Sonny, do you really know what happened?"

He looked away for a split second, which answered her question. She knew that he was remembering something … something he saw … or heard.

"Sonny, Alexis was raped. We found bruising and contusions … who did this?"

Sonny looked angrily at his friend, "No one is to know about this. Do you understand? I will tell you everything I know, but you can NOT tell anyone."

"Hey, if it's … "

"No, Robin … you have to promise me, or I won't tell … "

"You'll let Alexis suffer?"

"You don't get it … you know that she was raped … you know that she was torn open and bleeding, you helped her. She's alive."

"But she's … "

"ROBIN! NO!! I will not tell you anything until you promise me it doesn't leave this room."

Robin had to promise him. She had to know, so she could get Alexis help. "I promise."

"Ric raped her."

"Her husband?"

"Yes."

Robin looked down, then to the wall, then back to Sonny. "Where is he?"

"Dead."

Her eyes widened for a split second. "You killed him?"

Sonny shook his head, the tears forming once more.

"Jason?"

Shaking his head again, the tears fell.

"Oh my God, Sonny … Alexis?"

He tried his hardest to pull himself together, "When we got there, he was dead … on the floor. Four or five bullet holes to the chest and one … " he pointed to the middle of his forehead, "All Alexis said to me was, 'Hospital. Dump the body.'"

Robin's mouth was dropped and her eyes had closed after Sonny pointed to his head. "Sonny, she's in shock. She doesn't know what's going on around her."

"She's awake though?"

"Her eyes are open, but she's not responding to anything. Sonny, where's Ric's body? You didn't dump it?"

"No, Jason did."

"Oh, hell Sonny, WHY?!"

"Because Alexis murdered him!!" he yelled. "Damnit!" he swore, he shouldn't have yelled. He looked out the door and it seemed as if no one heard him.

Robin whispered, "It was self-defense Sonny. No one would have prosecuted her for that!"

"You'd think not. It's happened before," Sonny said, thinking of Luis Alcazar.

After allowing herself to process this information, Robin agreed, "Look, I won't say anything about Ric … but Alexis is going to need a psychiatrist. If she wakes up … "

"If?" A look of panic spread on Sonny's face, his mind darting to images of Laura Spencer.

"Sonny, we don't know anything yet. Look, if and when she wakes up, she will probably tell the truth, I mean, we both know Alexis, she wouldn't lie about this."

"He was the father of one of her children. I'm betting she doesn't want Molly to know that her psychotic father was killed by her abused mother."

Robin sighed and ran her hands over her face, suddenly realizing how tired she was. "Look, okay, I'll keep this secret … I'm too tired to think logically right now … um … Alexis can have a couple of visitors … one at a time if you want … "

"Yes," he interrupted. "I'm first" and that was that. He walked past her and she followed, looking over to the crowd of people being updated by Patrick and Monica.

"She's going to be fine. We're not sure yet what happened, but Alexis is in a state of shock. She's not responding to us … but she's not in any pain, we've got that taken care of. She is allowed a few visitors, one at a time, but not too many, I would say three or four … " Patrick was informing them when Nikolas walked past. Patrick grabbed his arm to still him, "Wait, Nikolas, Sonny's already gone in first, you can be next."

"Sonny? What the hell? She's my AUNT!!"

Jason stepped up calmly and spoke to his ex-brother-in-law, "Nikolas, she called Sonny from the house to come get her, let him go first."

Nikolas hesitated a few moments and nodded when he looked behind Jason to see Emily nod to him. "Okay, I'll be next."

"Wait!" Sam interjected, "I'LL be next!!"

"Okay, children … " Monica piped up, looking between Sam and Nikolas, "You two can go in together. Only two more may follow, one at a time. You all decide. The rest of you, go home, come back tomorrow or … call … we'd rather you call first to see if there's any change. This place is too small for all of you." Monica walked through the double doors back to her office; she needed some headache medicine.

The crowd decided on Jax and Luke. Ned put up a valid argument, but was beaten down by Luke's persistence. Ned, after all, hadn't seen his ex-love in almost a year. Everyone else filed out of the hospital, except Carly, who stayed at Jax's side, giving Sam the evil eye from time to time.

"Wait a minute!" Nikolas yelled, standing up, "Where the hell is Ric!!"

Robin led Sonny to her ICU room and stopped, facing him. "You saw her when she came in Sonny, but she's pretty swollen now. It's not that bad, I mean, it looks like she was hit twice … "

"He hit her?"

She nodded, "I thought you knew."

"No."

"Anyway, her eyes are open … she can probably hear you, so don't say anything about Ric until we talk to Lainey. I'm not sure if it's healthy … "

"I know. I won't."

"But do talk to her Sonny. You might wake her up." Robin smiled sympathetically toward her friend and opened the door, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as he walked past. She closed the door after and headed to the lab. She had a few blood tests to run.

Sonny stood at the end of the bed, in her line of sight … he could tell that she was looking through him and not at him. He decided joking would be a good start.

"Hey you. Ah, so you're not talking to me again … why am I not surprised?" He walked over to her side and took her hand, noticing the dried blood under her manicured nails, three of which were broken. He took her hand in his and stood, looming over her.

"Alexis?" he leaned down to her face, gently smiling at her, "Hey, come on, answer me. Wake up … "

With his free hand, he brushed the stray hair behind her ear and then brought his fingers to delicately touch her face where his bastard of a brother had left bruises. There were two. One was obviously to the left eye … it was turning black and looked like it hadn't finished swelling; the other was to her right jaw line and up to her cheek. Sonny wiped the tears quickly from his eyes.

"Hey, Alexis, honey … you need to wake up … Kristina and … "

Alexis blinked for a long moment, and then opened her eyes again. Sonny's heart leapt.

Sonny continued, "Kristina and Molly, they need you to … "

She blinked again, this time opening her eyes up to him. "Kris … .Mol … " she stammered.

"Yes, hey." He leaned down to kiss her gently on her forehead, letting the tears come.

"I … " she tried to speak.

"You don't have to speak, Alexis, it's okay … I'm here." He leaned in as close as he could without touching her face with his and locked her eyes on his. "I'm here." He gently kissed her lips, not knowing why … he just did. He leaned back and continued to look in her dark eyes.

She whispered, before closing her eyes to the tears, "I kil … I killed him … I killed Stavros."