A/N: So, I'm going through a Ranger's Apprentice obsession phase and I decided to dig out one of my old fanfics from about 2.5 years ago. I started reading it and was HORRIFIED at how awful it was (Inanya has a cool name, but she's such a SUE! And don't even get me started on how badly I screwed up with characterizing Halt. Oh yeah, and then there's the complete lack of plot-can't forget about that one.). So I saved a copy with my comments in green ink all over the place, mostly making fun of what I wrote, sometimes offering genuine criticism, and occasionally providing moderately helpful information in case I ever decide to turn this thing into less of a train wreck.

So here is that fic, complete with my commentary (in bold). Pretty much all of my comments are highly sarcastic, except when I ramble. Then it's fairly serious. Please feel free to join in on the bashing. ;) Because seriously, it sucks and I would love to hear your opinion of how badly it sucks.

Just a quick note-this begins about 20 years before Ruins of Gorlan. And the original name of this fic was "Silver Oakleaf." Yet another thing I'm mocking.

Also, I don't own Ranger's Apprentice. Which means that I don't own Halt or Gilan. Dang it.

Nor do I own Star Wars, Star Trek, or The Big Bang Theory (all of which are somehow referenced in here). Again, dang it.

Inanya was in the woods, practicing tossing her knife, as she did often at night. Because everyone just thinks, "Hey, it's dark; why don't I randomly toss my knife? It's not like I'll hit someone or anything crazy like that."You see, Inanya was a Ranger, quite young at the time. Because that sentence totally had no implications about the rest of the story tied to it or anything. The fact that she was female made most of the other Rangers scoff, but that changed whenever her skills were shown. Way to underscore her gender.

She tossed her knife at a nearby tree. As expected, it hit its mark with deadly accuracy.

Halt stepped aside just in time as the knife hit the tree. A Ranger's knife, he realized with a glance at it. Really? A Ranger would recognize a Ranger's knife? Nah, now we're just being dumb.

Though the knife could have killed him, he couldn't help but be impressed. Yes, because every self-respecting Ranger thinks, "Oh hey, this thing almost killed me...dang, talk about good aim."Whoever had thrown the knife had skill. He decided to stay where he was and see who had thrown it. It's not like there's a risk of him getting hit again...*scoffs*

Inanya walked towards the tree to retrieve her knife. She could sense that she was not the only one in the woods, but she did not want to alert her "companion." And tossing a knife six inches away from his face didn't alert him?

The figure that had thrown the knife drew closer. Halt could now see from the shadowy outline and movements that the person was female. Again, talk about overemphasizing the fact that she's a woman. She was clad as a Ranger, so…it must have been her. Yes, because aside from the cloak, Rangers don't dress like anyone else. Plain pants and shirts? Yeah, Ranger exclusives. It appeared that she did not see him, but perhaps she was only pretending. Now this is just ridiculous. And very out-of-character. If she's a Ranger, obviously she's gonna see him if she's looking correctly.

A moment before she stretched out her hand, the moonlight shone under her hood. Halt could tell from that shortest of glances that she was beautiful. Oh gosh, I want to throw up.

She stretched out her hand…reaching for the knife, or so it seemed…

She meant to grab the wrist of her "companion," but instead, Inanya grasped his hand. Apparently, they had reached for one another's wrists at the same moment.

Inanya blushed and let go of the obviously masculine hand I read those previous two words out loud to my sister and we couldn't stop laughing for several minutes. Quickly, she pulled her knife from the tree and stuck it back in its sheath. "I am sorry. I nearly hit you," she apologized. Oh yeah, that should smooth it all over. *sarcasm sign*

Halt noted that her voice was low but obviously feminine with a slight caustic edge to it naturally Did I really just spend a full sentence trying to say that she sounded like me? Ugh. "I think I'm more aware of that than anyone else," he responded coolly. Okay, that was good.

Without a last look, she turned and began to walk away. Curious, Halt called out, "How did you become a Ranger?" It's not like he'd know everything that goes on inside the Ranger Corps, since he's, you know, one of the higher-ranking Rangers.

"Likely the same way you did. My skills were recognized and I was apprenticed," she retorted, her voice bearing more of an edge now. GAHH, BUT HALT WASN'T APPRENTICED...! Don't even get me started on that spiel, though...(especially since I only know part of it, and I'd probably have to look that part up in book 8)

He couldn't allow her to leave…not without saying something more oh dear Lord. "May I escort you back to your home?" he wondered. No you may not. It's far too out of character for you.

Inanya turned completely around to look at the Ranger. She liked the sound of his voice, deep and soothing with a trace of a Hibernian accent. Question: how is she suddenly so good with accents? And just out of random curiosity, why didn't they know one another-pretty much everyone in the Corps is at least remotely familiar with one another. His face was hidden by the deep cowl of his hood I probably stole that phrase straight out of Ruins of Gorlan, but she decided that she could trust him to walk her home. "Yes," she consented.

He approached her. "What is your name?"

"Inanya. Yours?" came the response. Again, how can they both be members of the Corps and have no knowledge of one another?

"Halt."

"Pleased to meet you," Inanya told Halt. "Because it's not like we've ever met before at the annual Ranger Gatherings. That would just be silly and would mess up the author's plans for this awful fanfic."

He nodded, acknowledging what she had said and agreeing with it. "I shall trust you to lead me," he told her with the fleeting ghost of a smile. For a horrible fleeting moment, I'm reminded of Princess Breena (a character from the very first story I shamelessly defaced with green ink). Although I don't think this fic is as horrible as that; Halt is just so far out of character that the real Halt might as well be rocketing through the galaxy with Kirk and Spock in the 23rd century (this is what happens when one attempts to write while Star Trek II is on TV in the background).

"I do not feel like going anywhere but home now," she replied.

"You are exhausted?"

"That is not the word. I merely feel like being at home," she informed Halt. Yeah, what the heck was the point of that whole conversation?

He glanced at Inanya and noticed that her hood had slipped off her head. She was beautiful, her eyes a delicate shade of green and her light brown hair falling out of the leather thong that bound it back okay, I know I'm supposed to be focusing on the actual quality of the plot, but the syntax of that previous sentence was pretty awful. Her facial features bore the delicate and well-maintained beauty of a fine lady but with the hardness and seriousness of a Ranger's face—rather a contradiction, he realized. Again, the real Halt is off on the Enterprise. He would never in a million years, think something like that about someone he'd just met. And I seriously doubt he'd get that eloquent with anyone-Halt's pretty straightforward. But if someone else were speaking, that thought would be pretty good.

Intentionally, he allowed his hood to fall back, wondering what Inanya's reaction would be. Yeah, he wouldn't do that, and if he did, he wouldn't care. He cuts his hair with a saxe knife, for crying out loud! And Halt pretty much lives under his hood. In public, at least.

Halt did not know it, but Inanya felt an immediate attraction to him. Well that took all of five seconds. His features were rugged and masculine really? A man with masculine features? Who would've dreamed up that one? and his hair and short beard were rather roughly trimmed, obviously done with his knife. Okay, so at least I acknowledged it.

They walked together till Inanya reached her cottage. "Thank you for walking with me tonight, Halt," she said softly, almost tenderly.

Halt's heart nearly halted. I remember how ardent I was about writing that sentence...and it sucks. Badly. She was so beautiful…and so out of the ordinary. And you're so out of character. "You are welcome, Inanya. Good night," he bid her.

With a swish of his cloak, the Ranger was gone. That totally coincides with the common person's view of Rangers, but Inanya would probably see him-she's a Ranger and should possess the same skills as Halt.

This brings a good question to mind-how did Halt get his Ranger skills if he wasn't apprenticed? If John Flanagan doesn't explain this in RA: Lost Tales, I'm going to Australia to have a looooong talk with him.

Night was beginning to fall. Halt was leaving his cottage for the forest in hopes that he would see Inanya again. He had quickly taken a fancy to her pshyeah, I'd say. She had quite an appealing personality...and you've known her for how long?. Halt had never taken a fancy to a woman before, being scornful of the ignorance of the other females he had known. Halt in love is slightly atypical; Halt (or anyone) in love this quickly (with absolutely no development) is absurd. If people talk to each other like twice and then "fall in love," it's not really love. It's pure, untainted lust.

Inanya was walking through the forest silently. Casually, she tossed her knife at a nearby tree. It hit its mark perfectly, as was expected by her and her momentarily mysterious watcher. ...So now he's creeping on her in the woods? Yeah, that just makes me want to throw myself into his arms. And she's throwing knives at him as he creeps on her? Jeez, what a warm and loving relationship they have. "You have some skill…for someone of your age," Halt informed the younger female Ranger. Now THAT sounds like the Halt I know and love!

She took a moment to admire the soothing sound of his voice I never really imagined Halt's voice as being soothing. Not recently, at least before responding, "Not that much younger, I'll reckon. You can't be any older than twenty-seven, and I'm twenty."

"Good guess, Inanya. Twenty-five," he informed her.

Inanya smiled under her hood. Already she fancied Halt, and learning a bit of his personality what personality? There is a complete lack of character development in this story! It's just a poorly written relationship! only made her like him more.

Again, what was the point of this scene? Other than an extremely pathetic excuse for character development.

Random thought: usually, whenever I use the word "personality" when describing why certain people are in love with certain other people, it means that both characters are severely underdeveloped and that the story contains bare and awful details of their underdeveloped relationship. Side effects of this use of "personality" are...green ink. Lots and lots of it.

A/N: Okay, bonus question! What movie soundtrack did I steal the title of this chapter from? (1st person to tell me the correct answer gets a gold star and will be acknowledged at the beginning of chapter two.)