Author's Note: If you ship any Zim pairings, I suggest you leave now. I will probably offend you. I decided to write this after reading a Harry Potter fanfic/poem by Rage Point with the same concept.
The title refers to the abbreviated forms of most of the Zim pairings (ZADR, ZAGR, RAPR, DATR, etc.)
I expect to get flames on this. In fact, I love flames. I get a flame—hey, at least I know someone read it!
If you, like me, think all Zim characters are better off free and single…read, review, and enjoy!
Dear fanbase of Invader Zim
I realize the chance is slim
That I'll get through this rotten poem
Before the fans, with mouths afoam
Attack and seize my humble claims
And send them up in raging flames
But though that chaos I'll evoke
I think it's time I stood and spoke
I must confess—and please don't flip—
Not one Zim pairing do I ship.
There's no love lost 'tween Dib and Zim
Which leaves their chance for romance grim
Zim/Gaz? Their future's rather bleak
Zim would be dead within a week
Dib and Tak's a dreadful bore
Zim/Tak's a pairing best ignored
Pustulio's chance at love is wrecked
(Zits weren't romantic, last I checked)
Zim/Gir was never meant to be
Red/Purple's not my cup of tea
And as for Skoodge, he's rather fat
And nobody much cares for that.
Dib and Gaz just makes me ill
Membrane's love life is next to nil
Tak/Gaz quite simply doesn't work
No one wants Sizz-Lor, he's a jerk
Ms. Bitters will be left alone
There's no one fancies that old crone
Red/Purple/Zim? Suffice to say
I don't think Irkens roll that way
Dib/Dwicky romance—not the case
The latter's floating 'round in space
Gaz isn't too attached to Gir
(Although he's rather fond of her)
For love on the Resisty's ship
I honestly don't give a rip
And remain sadly unawares
Of Minimoose's love affairs
And though you'll likely disagree
I hate, with passion, the OC
If any pairing I forgot
Know that I think it useless rot.
Well now, I guess I've had my say
On all the romance of the day
I'm finished now, I'll shut my trap
On all romantic fanfic crap.