A/N: Well here it is, sorry it took so long but you know..Stuff...I decided to spare Screw and not reveal the reason for which he isn't in the story, but alright. You got me. (No he isn't dead!..Something, much, much worse.)

One shot. The first time Sirius played Muggle chess. Takes place during vacation at Remus' house. They are about 13 years old… I will not be held responsible for what may or may not have happened to screw.

"Knight to E4"

Remus attempted, once more, to read the book his father had so generously left from him and his friends to enjoy. Seeing as the weather had ruined their plans-again. He felt it was the most he could do.

The two dolts, whom he so loosely called mates however did not see it the way he did and instead took it upon themselves to conclude that Mr. Lupin was either off his trolley, or clearly did not remember being a teenage boy at some point in his life.

S'not like he had Remus' excuse of being a werewolf. Although, any other day the sandy haired teen would have been up for any mischief they could find...but the full moon was tomorrow. It always put him in such a depressed state.

Seeing nothing but the rain pouring viciously, Sirius stood by the window. He banged his head against it in uniformed rhythm.

"It's raining, it's pouring...and Remus is snoring..." He said in a sing-song voice.

"That's James you moronic dog!" In one swift movement Remus chucked a pillow in the direction of a girlish shriek.

His words had some truth to them though. James laid awkwardly in one of the couches. His glasses on an odd angle, snoring gently while his hand dangled on the side

It would have been quite adorable...if he hadn't been drooling.

For a brief moment Remus thought that the distractions were over, until…

"Moony," Sirius, now on the seat aside him began. "Moonster, Moonbeam, Moonshine of my-"

"What?" Remus bellowed hoping to discourage him from saying whatever it was that he was going to say.

However this boy had no shame.

"I'm bored."

With an evil glint in his eye he responded, "Go drown yourself in dishwater then."

"Eeew, Moony," He faked a rather disgusted look before smiling; "James' head has been in there!"

Declaring defeat, Remus sighed, "I suppose we can play a game of chess. My dad has one in the closet, but it's a mu-"

He was gone. The fall of boxes was heard in the distance along with a manly cry of "That'll teach you to mess with Sirius Orion Black!"

He returned with a smirk on his face, tossing the box onto the small coffee table.

As they set up, Sirius took one of the pieces and exclaimed, "Merlin Moony! This is the strangest set I've ever seen!"

"That's because it's a,"

"Look at this one!" He interrupted holding up the queen. "looks like one of those…you know..muggle thing…space rocky and what not."

Remus shot him a questioning look. "You mean space rocket?"

"Yeah!" Sirius sprang up. He moved the piece around in air plane movements not forgetting to include sound effects.

He thrust it into Remus' shoulder. "Oh no! We've crashed into the moon!"

His hand twitched and instantly they both knew what he was about to do.

"Sirius don't! it's-"

The mass collision on the ground brought dust onto the clearing.

"-Glass."

~~~some moments later, Remus losing his patience~~~~~

"Can I go first?"

"Now before we begin, the only-"

"Can I go first?"

"-thing you have to know is that-"

"Can I go first?"

"FINE! MOVE A BLOODY PIECE THEN!"

"Patience Moonster," He tutted him, "It's a virtue you know."

After an eternity of clearing his throat Sirius said, "Knight to E4."

Remus couldn't help it. The corners of his mouth twitched upward.

"Padfoot mate, it-"

"Knight to E4!" He tried again.

"Really Sir-"

"Knight to E4!"

"I'm trying to tell you that-"

"SHUT UP!" Sirius turned back to the board, "I SAID KNIGHT TO E4!"

Not waiting for a response Sirius slapped the pieces off, all of them crashing into a million glittery pieces on the marble floor.

The only thing left was his king.

Silence.

"Oh look I won."

A/N: just to let you know there is an extended version in which Sirius gets up too enthusiastically and knocks the coffee table onto James and it's just chaos as he attempts to fix it and ends up destroying more, and more and more to a point where all he does is try to get up. It ends with the chandler crashing into the center of the living room.