After seeing Orton at Road to Wrestlemania being so incredibly nice to everyone, I decided to rethink my indifference to him. Watching how intense his character is on T.V and how sweet he was to all the people in the arena creates an irresistible contradiction. Enjoy :)
"I'm leaving you."
It had been three weeks since Josie had uttered those words, but Randy still remembered exactly how she had said them. The entire conversation in fact. He had come back to his apartment at four in the morning, drunk and horny; but alone. He had actually been proud of himself. There had been plenty of women who were ready and willing to join him for the night, but after flirting heavily, he had torn himself away and gotten to his room alone.
That was when he saw the missed calls and even in his inebriated state, he knew he had just fucked up. Big time.
Josie's birthday was that night, and since he wasn't able to make it out there to Chicago to see her, he had promised they would video chat.
He still remembered how clear her voice had sounded, as if she had been wide awake even though it was so late.
"Do you know what time it is, Randy?"
"I just got in, I called you as soon as I realized I-"
"Where were you?"
"I was... Out."
"Partying? That's not a surprise. But you couldn't take one night off for me?"
"I called you as soon as I remembered," he had snapped. His head was hurting like a motherfucker. All he wanted to do was go to sleep but he also knew he couldn't just hang up on her.
"And I should just be happy with that," she had said, her voice soft. He had almost told her that yea, she should have been happy with just that. This relationship was by far the only one he had ever given two shits about keeping. A guy like him simply didn't do well in long distance relationships. There were too many temptations and he liked sex too much just to be satisfied with phone sex or long conversations. But no other girl had been worth the effort like Josie had, and he was still learning. She should have given him credit for that.
"I think you should be happy that I remembered to call. It's really late and I had a few drinks, but I still remembered that it was your birthday. Besides, it's not like-"
"I'm leaving you."
Randy clenched his fists as he stared at the door. To her apartment. He still had the copy of the key she had given him almost a year ago and had been standing here trying to work up the courage to let himself in for almost 20 minutes.
When he had decided to book a flight and come to see her, he had thought it would be so easy to just walk into her apartment and calmly explain himself. But on the car ride over here, he felt like someone had tied his insides into intricate knots. He could hear his heart hammering in his ears and his palms had gotten so sweaty he had had to repeatedly wipe them on his pants.
He was Randy fucking Orton, and no one was supposed to intimidate him, but right now he was terrified of facing a five foot five woman. He never thought he would be okay with giving anyone, especially a woman, so much power over him, but this wasn't just any woman, it was Josie.
He couldn't let this end. After she had uttered those words, which had immediately sobered him up, he had gotten angry with her. Told her she was exaggerating. And she hadn't said anything until he finally ran out of breath.
"We both agreed that a long distance relationship would be hard and we would both try, but it really doesn't seem like you're doing your part."
"What the hell are you talking about? I call you every night, I'm always sending you gifts-"
"I don't want your gifts, I want you. But all I get are late night phone calls telling me you're home and how tired you are. Do you even know what's going on in my life? Do you even know that my sister just had a baby, that I was promoted last week to assistant director? That I had to fire someone for the first time and I felt so terrible but when I wanted to talk to my boyfriend I couldn't because he was out partying?"
Randy swallowed hard. When she put it that way...
"My mind is made up. I'm leaving you, I'm changing my number, and I hope you're able to find someone that can love the little bit you choose to give them. Because it wasn't enough for me."
She had done it too. He had tried to call her but she had disconnected her number. All of his presents were sent back. She had even deleted her email. She had thought of everything to end things with him.
But Randy wasn't going down without a fight. Josie had completely changed his outlook on life and what was truly important, whether she believed it or not.
To others, it seemed that he had only gotten more conceited. And this was true. Not only was he awesome in his own right, he had managed to find one of the few women out there in the world who had it all: looks, intelligence, and a sense of humor.
He had known her for years since middle school, when she had still been the skinny, over achieving sister of one of his friends. He had never paid much attention to her then, after all he was 3 years her senior and he had an image to maintain, but even in his simple teenage boy's mind, he knew she was something special. Not just because she was one of the few girls that didn't seem to moon over him, but because she was the most confident girl he had ever met. And coming from a teenager who used to take advantage of a girl's insecurities and make them "feel" beautiful, this was a far cry from the kinds of girls he normally went out with. Her nose was constantly buried in a book, and she had all the nerd boys drooling after her.
He still remembered one day he had been over her house playing video games with her brother and she had been sitting on the couch next to him quietly, looking completely frustrated. When her brother had walked upstairs, she had turned to Randy and asked him in a solemn voice if she could ask him a question.
"Sure, Jo, shoot."
"What do you do if there's someone that likes you and you don't like them back? But you don't want to hurt their feelings? But you can't be too nice either or else they'll take it as encouragement."
He had laughed. His usual remedy for this was to tell a girl she was below his standards but that wasn't exactly nice.
"Don't laugh, this is serious! These boys make me feel as if it's a burden to be so smart and pretty and I resent that. I can't help how I look and I'm not going to dumb myself down either."
Randy had laughed again, sure that she was kidding, but his laughter had died out when he saw that she was completely serious. She sounded a lot like him, but whereas he knew he sounded cocky, she just sounded sure of herself. It wasn't as if she was ugly, she actually had the makings to be a beautiful woman with her shiny auburn hair and lithe figure. She had intense green eyes that sometimes made him uncomfortable, especially after he had said something particularly pig-headed and she had heard him. But she just wasn't his type, and he guessed he had just assumed that if he didn't want a girl, no one else would either.
"Well, like you said, if you're too nice they're just going to keep going after you. Listen Josie, girls always think they have to be nice, but the reality is, they don't. Tell them to fuck off. The worse that'll happen is that they never talk to you again, and at least they'll know you don't take shit from anyone."
He hadn't known she would take that advice to heart. Now, Josie took no shit from anyone, including him. He supposed her attitude was why she had become so successful in her career. She had a powerful position in one of the leading advertising companies, and whenever he had gone to one of the many company dinners they had, he had always noticed how the other men had looked at her so appreciatively.
He remembered joking one time that if they ever broke up, she'd be swarmed by all the guys in her office but instead of denying it to make him feel better, she had only nodded and said, "So make sure you don't fuck up, baby."
Randy sighed as he stared down at the two dozen roses he had gotten her. Blue roses. They were her favorite and he figured that a rose that signified impossible, unattainable love was perfectly appropriate for this situation.
His mind was racing with what he wanted to say to her. With Josie, it was never a predictable reaction. Sometimes she would calmly listen to him, other times she wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise.
Taking a deep breath, he slipped the key into the lock and quietly let himself in.
What the hell am I going to wear?
Josie sighed as she looked over her wardrobe for what seemed like the hundredth time. It didn't help that her mind kept wandering every few seconds. To him.
She sighed, annoyed that even after three weeks she still couldn't get go more than a few minutes without remembering something about him. The way he always smelled so good... The way his rough fingers always made her feel all shivery when he gently stroked her skin... The way his gravelly voice always seemed to affect her so strongly...
She shook herself out of her musings. This was exactly why she needed to go out tonight. It didn't matter if she missed him so much it physically hurt. She deserved to be treated better and she was sure he would never change. So what was the point in wasting her time anymore?
Without even looking, she grabbed a random dress. It was short and red and she simply didn't care enough to waste any more time deciding on what to wear.
She turned around to slip her shorts off and pull on the dress when she saw movement at her bedroom door.
Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest as she looked into his familiar blue eyes. His gaze was piercing and she found that her throat felt as if it had been stuffed with cotton balls. A million thoughts ran through her mind, but she couldn't find the words to voice any of them.
They stood like that for a while, just looking at each other without saying anything. Finally, he took a step towards her and cleared his throat.
"I got these for you." He held up a bouquet of blue roses and Josie felt the overwhelming urge to laugh. He had actually remembered her favorite flower. This man couldn't remember to call her on her birthday, but he had remembered what her favorite flower was.
Without even thinking, she picked up the closest thing to her, her stiletto heel, and hurled it at him.
He barely managed to duck to avoid it and before he could utter a word, she threw her other shoe at him. This one hit him square in the chest but he only gave her an annoyed look.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, finally finding her voice.
"Well I sure as hell didn't come here to be your target practice," he grumbled. He took a step towards her and she took one back.
"Get out Randy. I broke up with you three weeks ago, sneaking up on me like this isn't going to make me want to get back with you."
"I wasn't-" he took a deep breath as if to calm himself and started again, his voice more level this time, "I wasn't sneaking up on you. I let myself in with your key- the one you gave me."
"Back when we were dating!" Josie exclaimed, crossing her arms. It was then she realized that she wasn't wearing a shirt, only her bra and a small pair of shorts. She hurried over to her dresser and pulled on the first shirt she could find.
When she turned back to face him, he had a smirk on his face.
"You still have my shirt?"
Josie looked down at herself and grimaced. An RKO shirt. She had meant to throw it away, she really had. But sometimes when she missed him like crazy she gave in to the overwhelming urge to simply put it on and smell the faint trace of his cologne.
"I haven't had a chance to throw it away," she said defensively. "But I was going to, so don't go thinking I still care about you."
He raised a brow at her. "So you don't?"
"Don't what?" she asked, not wanting to answer the question. If she told the truth he would take it as encouragement. If she lied... Well she would be straight up lying. And she didn't want to do that.
He walked over to her but she moved to stand on the other side of the bed. The farther away she was from him the better. He had a larger than life presence and she still remembered clearly how wobbly her knees always seemed to feel when he had his arms around her.
"Josie let's just talk about this," he started, his voice so calm it grated on her nerves. Whereas she was struggling to keep from crying, laughing hysterically, and yelling out all at the same time, he seemed as if he had just dropped by to talk about the weather.
"I'm through talking with you!" she nearly screamed. "You can't just pop into my apartment whenever the hell you feel like it- I broke up with you!"
He seemed to flinch at the reminder but he didn't back down. "You don't have to keep reminding me of that, baby. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you did it."
"Oh so now you have the time to think about me?" she retorted. "This isn't the movies, Randy. I'm not just going to take you back because you got me some roses."
He was at her side so fast that she barely had time to put her hands up to stop him from coming any closer.
"Then what will it take, Josie? What will it take for you to take me back?" For the first time since she had known him, his voice seemed desperate. Like he truly didn't know what to do. For someone as used to being in charge of everything, this must have been a kind of hell for him.
Well good. He deserved to feel like this. She still hadn't gotten over how terrible the past few months had been. How she had always waited for his call, sometimes until 2 in the morning even if she had work early the next day because she knew that if she ever called him, his voicemail would always pick up. And Josie hated hearing that fucking voicemail.
"Baby, I know I messed up. I didn't appreciate you when I had you, and now I have no idea what to do without you."
"Go out and party," she quipped sarcastically.
He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face, his movements so at odd with how cool and composed he usually was.
"Josie, I didn't come here so you could talk shit to me-"
"Well that's all you're going to get!" she fumed, determined to get out of the corner she had backed herself in to. She tried to sidestep him but he blocked her way. "Damn it, Randy, get out of my apartment!" She brought her hands up against his chest and pushed, but he barely moved. Damn him for being so much bigger than her. For having a chest like a rock. All the things that had turned her on before were clearly working against her now.
She struggled when he gripped both her wrists with one of his hands and brought them up to his lips to kiss them. Her body reacted strongly to that small touch even as her mind protested that she needed to get away from him.
"Damn it, woman, I fucking missed you."
Before she could stop him, he wove his fingers through her hair and pulled her against him, his lips finding hers in a heated kiss.
Purely on reaction, Josie's lips opened to allow him entrance and he groaned as his tongue swept inside her mouth, tangling wildly with hers. He let go of her wrists and put both his hands on her ass, bringing her against his body so tightly that she could clearly feel his hardness prodding against her stomach.
"You see what you do to me, baby?" he whispered, his rough voice making her toes curl. "Only you, only you do this to me."
She nearly moaned out loud when he started to kiss his way down her neck. Her body was on fire for him, but deep down she knew she shouldn't be doing this. It wasn't until she felt his hands go underneath her shirt that she finally snapped out of it.
"No!"
She twisted out of his grasp and barely managed to dodge him when he reached for her again. Snatching up her phone from her desk, she held it out to him, her hand visibly shaking.
"If you don't leave right now, I'm going to call the police. And you know it's gonna be all over the news by tomorrow."
His jaw bulged as he visibly tried to calm himself. His big body was tense and she couldn't help herself as her eyes roamed over him, admiring. It had been too long since she had seen him last, and the past three weeks had been terrible because she had had to submit herself to the fact that she would never again be able to feel his hard muscles underneath her fingers or wake up in the warm embrace of his arms anymore. And that had sucked.
But now to be confronted with the man that had dominated all her thoughts and dreams? To look and not be able to touch him like she ached to do? It was just too much.
"I mean it Randy," she finally said, hating how her voice trembled. She didn't want him to think she was weak. She needed him to believe that she was absolutely set on breaking up with him so he could just leave.
Suddenly, her phone started vibrating and she glanced at the caller id. Jackie. Probably calling to ask her where she was since she was supposed to meet her half an hour ago. If she didn't answer her, she would drive over here and that would just be messy.
Keeping her eyes on Randy, she answered the call and put the phone to her ear.
"Where are you?" her friend demanded before she could say a word.
Josie closed her eyes to regain a sense of composure. Jackie was her best friend and she would be able to tell something was wrong if she wasn't careful.
"I couldn't find anything to wear," she said, trying to make her voice carefree.
"Well it doesn't matter what you wear as long as you get here. Are you okay?"
Josie glanced over at Randy, standing there with his arms crossed and a brow raised, as if challenging her to act as if nothing was happening.
Well that pissed her off.
"I'm doing great," Josie said. "Tell Matthew I can't wait to meet him and I'll be there-"
Before she had a chance to react, her phone was ripped out of her hands and she was held at arms length away as she tried to snatch it back from Randy.
"Josie won't be going anywhere tonight," he said tightly, glaring at her. "She has some important matters to attend to and it will take all night." He shut the phone off and shoved it into his pocket, his grip on her arm tightening. "Who the fuck is Matthew?"
Her chin tipped up in defiance as she glared back at him. "None of your business. I don't have to tell you anything anymore so stop acting like you have the right to know what's going on in my life."
"I have every right to know what's going on in your life!" he exploded, the veins in his neck standing out. Josie had never seen him get this angry but instead of feeling scared, she almost felt satisfied. How many times had she lost her temper and looked like a fool while he would just speak to her calmly as if trying to appease a child? She had thought he didn't show as much emotion because he didn't care about her as much as she did about him, but it certainly looked as if the tables were turning.
A part of her felt like telling him that she had never even met Matthew and she was only going to go out on a date to make Jackie happy, but a larger part wanted to torment him so he could feel a fraction of what she had felt every time he had called her late at night, drunk and telling her not to worry, he hadn't taken the offers of any of the multitude of girls that had thrown themselves at him. She knew he said it to reassure her, but just the thought of some skank flashing her cleavage and flirting made her want to punch something.
"I'll ask you again, Josie, who the fuck is Matthew?"
Josie smiled at him sweetly. This was going to be fun.
Randy should have known that smile meant trouble but the anger he felt at the thought of her going on a date with another guy clouded his judgement.
"Oh he's someone I work very closely with. As soon as I told him I was single, he tried to ask me out on a date," she shrugged carelessly. "But I told him I needed some time to get over my ex-boyfriend."
Randy flinched at her calling him her ex. As far as he was concerned, they were still together.
"So three weeks is all it took?" he growled, stepping closer to her. His heart was thundering in his ears and he could barely think clearly, his mind flooding with image after image of all the men who were probably chasing after her. Randy was a confident man, conceited according to some people, and he never minded when he saw all the guys staring at Josie when they would walk together, because he knew that women were looking at him too. He was secure in the knowledge that Josie would never downgrade and actually encourage any of those losers. But if she was behaving like she was single, that was a whole other story.
"I figured I just needed to throw myself out there," she replied, a look of pure satisfaction on her face. "What's the point of moping around waiting for someone who doesn't even care?"
"I do care," he said through clenched teeth. "I've already apologized for not calling you on your birthday-"
"No you didn't!" she snapped, her easy going facade disappearing as her eyes flashed angrily. "You never apologized. You told me I should be grateful that you even remembered to call. And that wasn't the first time, Randy. You are constantly telling me I should be happy that you remember to call me late at night for a ten minute conversation. And then you want me to just forgive and forget when you send presents?"
"Damn it Josie, I'm trying!"
"Trying?" she repeated, a disbelieving look on her face. "You call treating me like an afterthought trying? I didn't just break up with you because you forgot my birthday, I've been thinking about doing it for months."
Randy felt the blood drain from his face as let her arm drop from his grip. "Months?"
Her angry expression faded as she nodded slowly, hugging herself as if for reassurance. "Yes."
Randy stared at her, not wanting to believe her. He had thought she was just angry that he had forgotten her birthday and she just needed to get over it. But she had been thinking about leaving him for months? That hurt.
"You have no right to be surprised," she said. "We're already in a tough situation because of your schedule and I understand that, but you can't even make time to call me? Seriously Randy, what ever gave you the idea that I was the kind of girl that prefers flowers and diamonds over a real conversation with someone I love?"
"Josie, you knew the person I was before you agreed to go out with me," Randy sighed. He hated bringing up the past because he wasn't particularly proud of the kind of guy he had been. But Josie was different. She made him want to be in a committed relationship but that was something he had never even attempted in the past. Why couldn't she understand that this was new territory for him?
"Knowing who you were before doesn't change anything Randy. That's an excuse you use every time you fuck up and I'm tired of it. Maybe you are trying harder than you ever have, but it's not enough." She shook her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "And it'll never be enough. So it's time for you to go and find someone who's satisfied with your presents."
Watching her fight not to cry twisted him up inside. He had rarely seen Josie cry, and he was glad for it because he always felt like his chest was being poked full of arrows when she did cry in front of him. But to know that he had caused it made him feel like a complete jackass.
"I don't want anyone else," he insisted, stepping towards her and taking her into his arms even though she struggled. He only tightened his grip and kissed her hair, missing just holding her in his arms.
"I can't do it anymore," she said, her voice muffled because she had her face pressed against his chest. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed and his heart leapt when she finally wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
"I can't keep waiting up for your call, imagining all the girls throwing themselves at you." He was about to open his mouth to tell her that he had never gone home with any of them but she continued. "And knowing that you don't go home with them doesn't make it any better. They still flirt with you and you probably don't do anything to stop it. You talk to those girls more than you talk to me, how messed up is that?"
"Those girls don't matter to me," he murmured, his hands rubbing up and down her back. "I don't remember any of them, but I couldn't forget about you if I tried."
She didn't say anything, but she at least she wasn't crying anymore. Randy frowned when he felt her rubbing her face against his chest. She was pressing her body against him and against his will, he was getting hard. Was she doing this on purpose or was it just wistful thinking?
"I've missed you," she breathed in his ear, making him stifle a shiver. She pressed her lips against his neck with a soft sigh and his eyes slid closed. She could get him horny so effortlessly it was almost disconcerting.
"I've missed you too." He pulled back to look into her eyes, his hand cupping her face. Her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was red too but she looked absolutely beautiful to him. She always would.
"Why can't you ever show me then?" she asked, frustration clear in her voice. Suddenly, she pulled away and shoved him hard so he stumbled back and fell on the bed. Before he could get up, she quickly straddled him and took his head in her hands, thrusting her tongue inside his mouth forcefully.
Of their own volition, his hands went straight for her ass, kneading the generous curves as she began to grind on his lap.
"I'm sorry I don't show it," he said, between frenzied kisses. "I don't know how to be a good boyfriend, I've never wanted to be before you." He sucked in a breath when she took his bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down hard.
"I can change, Josie," he continued, wanting to get everything he had to say out while he could still think clearly. "I didn't appreciate you when I had you but not being able to talk to you screwed me up inside. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything else."
"God Randy, just shut up and kiss me!" She gripped the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off over her head before reaching behind her and unstrapping her bra. His eyes were immediately drawn to her bare breasts and he had a hard time fighting the urge to toss her on her back and simply show her how much he cared about her in the best way he knew how to express what he was feeling.
But that would just be a temporary fix. He needed to tell her everything he felt for her. He couldn't afford for her to regret what they were doing as soon as they were done. If she still insisted on throwing him out of her apartment afterwards, he knew he would never be able to change her mind.
With that thought, he stood up and flipped her onto her back, quickly settling himself in between her thighs so she wouldn't be able to move. Taking both of her hands in one of his, he stretched her arms over her head.
"What are you-"
"Shh," he murmured, bringing his finger to her lips. He traced the outline and she briefly closed her eyes. "I don't want to just fuck you right now, Josie. I need you to understand why I act the way I do."
"Because you've never been in a real relationship before," she said impatiently, squirming underneath him. "You've already told-"
"That's not all of it," he interrupted, his fingers trailing down her neck. He watched as she bit her lip and arched her back to his touch. He loved how she always responded so sweetly to him. Sex with her was unlike anything else he had ever done and he would be damned if he went back to the emotionless, random fucks he had before her.
"Every other girl I've tried to be in a relationship with has meant nothing to me because I couldn't stand them. Most of them were so insecure it didn't matter how bad I treated them, I knew they would never leave."
"Isn't that what you want?"
He shook his head as he bent down to kiss her softly. "I want someone who's not afraid to tell me when I'm out of line. Who won't take any shit from me just because of who I am." His hand slid up to cup her breast possessively and she moaned softly. "I want you."
"Then why can't you make more of an effort? I have a life too, I can't just sit around and wait up at night for you to call me whenever you remember."
"I know," he said, sighing heavily. How could he explain to her that he was afraid one day she would realize she was too good to put up with him? That she would come to the realization that he wasn't worth all the effort a long distance relationship required? What if he put in all he had into a relationship but she still decided to leave? If there was one thing that scared the shit out of him, it was disappointing the people he loved.
He looked into her eyes but he couldn't put all of his thoughts into actual words. The thought of losing her forever scared him more than he ever wanted to admit. She had been the only person he had ever cried in front of when his best friend had died and he would never forget how amazing it felt to not have to go through that pain alone. She genuinely seemed to care about him, not because of who he portrayed on T.V, but because of who he was. He had never felt so comfortable with anyone else, and for someone like him who had a hard time trusting people, it was a relief to be able to talk candidly with someone whose opinions he respected. And he was just going to let it slip away because he was scared that he would open up completely and she wouldn't like what she saw.
No.
"I love you," he said, his voice fierce. "Don't ever doubt that. I know I'm not the perfect boyfriend but I'll be honest with you, you scare the shit out of me."
At her confused expression he continued. "What if I put everything I have into this relationship and you decide it's not good enough? Do you have any idea what that'll do to me?"
"That's love!" She struggled against his hold but he didn't let go. "Do you think love is just giving away what you want the other person to see? No! That's fake Randy. Real love is opening yourself up and letting the other person see you like no one else has."
"What if you don't like what you see?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
She smiled at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him more fully on top of her. "I love what I see you dummy. You think I don't remember the few times you've actually let your guard down?"
"Like when?"
"Like the time you got so drunk and you started telling me about how when you were little you used to want to become a police officer after you saw a guy hitting his wife in public and no one did anything about it." She leaned up to give him a kiss. "Those are the moments that make me realize how amazing you really are when you're not constantly trying to put on this tough guy front for everyone else."
"So you love me?" he asked, placing light kisses on her collarbone. He felt her nod and he had to swallow hard before he could ask the next question. "Does this mean you'll take me back?" He felt her stiffen and he held his breath, not wanting to look up at her.
"Randy..." she started, her voice defeated. A surge of emotion welled up within him and in that moment he decided he simply wouldn't let her go. He knew she loved him, and he damn sure loved her. And that was it.
"I'm not letting you go," he said, his voice harsh. His fingers trailed down her stomach until he got to the waistline of her shorts. Without a word he slipped his hand inside and reveled in her soft cry of surprise. She was already wet. She was fighting her desires but he knew her body and her reactions well. He had tried talking to her but if she wanted him to show her how much she meant to him, he would do it.
Josie knew she should have stopped him when he had flipped her onto her back. She knew she should have stopped him when he began to touch her so softly with his callused fingers. And she definitely knew she should stop him now when he was making slow, languid circles on her clitoris. Her mind and body were fighting a battle and her body's desires were winning. Any words to put a halt to what he was doing died in her throat and only emerged as a moan, no doubt encouraging him rather than discouraging.
"Do you understand?" she heard him ask from what seemed like miles away.
"Hmm?"
"I'm not letting you go. Do you understand that?"
She was about to tell him he couldn't just come in here and tell her what was going to happen, but at that moment she felt one of his big fingers enter her and all reasoned thought fled her mind.
"I love you too much to just end things because I'm afraid. You're different and it's time I started treating you different. I understand that now. So let me show you."
She nodded her head at his words, the emotion his words were causing and the pleasure his touch was inciting both proving too much for conscious speech. Her body seemed to grow hotter as he continued, his clean, masculine scent surrounding her as he leaned down and started to place wet kisses on her neck and breasts. He finally let her hands go but instead of pushing him off like she swore she would do just a few minutes ago, she found herself reaching for his shirt to pull it off of him.
"I want this to be about you." He placed a hand over hers to stop her but she pushed them off impatiently.
"This is for me."
She saw a smug smirk on his lips but ignored it. Arrogant ass. He knew how much she liked to look at and touch his body. The man had the physique of a Greek sculpture and he damn well knew it.
She managed to pull his shirt over his head and licked her lips as the sight of his hard chest and abs greeted her. His tattooed arms were on either side of her head, raising him up as he looked at her with intense eyes. She could already see the large bulge in his pants and her hands immediately went to unbuckle his belt but he shook his head and lowered himself on top of her once again.
"Let me do this for you," he murmured, the sensuality in his voice making her ache for him to end this torture and just bring her release.
Her eyes slid closed as he began to kiss his way down her stomach, stopping only to slid her shorts down her legs. A loud moan escaped her when she felt his warm breath on the inside of her thighs and her entire body was quivering in anticipation. To go from thinking she would never again be with him like this to having her in her room, promising her everything she ever wanted to hear? It almost seemed too good to be true. But if this was a dream, she was going to enjoy now and think later.
She moaned loudly when she finally felt his tongue on her. She dimly heard him groan sharply and a gasp escaped her when she felt his fingers dig into her thighs, as if he was starved for her. She felt herself losing control all too quickly but the man worked wonders with his mouth. Her entire body tensed as she began to feel herself readying to come and she let out a piercing scream when her orgasm hit her powerfully. He continued to suck and lick her and she felt as if the orgasm went on forever until she finally had to push his head away.
She was breathing heavily when he positioned himself above her, licking his lips in a self-satisfied way. She smiled at him and he returned her smile, his eyes bright. It dawned on her that she had never seen him look at anyone else the way he sometimes looked at her. Maybe he had been showing her how much he cared about her but she had never noticed before because she was so busy focusing on the ways he didn't show her.
His hand cupped her cheek and she nuzzled against it, a feeling of pure happiness settling over her. She felt a tear slid down her cheek and his content expression was immediately replaced with one of concern.
"What's wrong?"
She shook her head and tried to turn away but he didn't let her.
"Baby, you gotta tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."
With those sweet words, more tears slid down her cheeks until she couldn't stop them.
"Do you regret what we did?" he asked lowly.
She shook her head forcefully.
He frowned and wiped at her tears with his thumb. "Then what is it?"
"I just really missed you too." He gave a tentative smile that made him look so vulnerable her heart ached. She lifted her head and kissed him softly, not trusting herself to speak without becoming a blubbering mess.
What started out as an innocent kiss soon became more forceful, their tongues tangling as his fingers dug into her hair, pulling on it.
"Randy..."
"I know what you want," he said, his voice husky. Her heart sped up when she heard him unzipping his pants and drawing them off. "And I know exactly how to give it to you." She threw her head back when she felt him sliding into her slowly.
His unhurried thrusts were slowly driving her insane, as were the delicate kisses he was placing all over her face, on her eyes, forehead, chin... Most of the times he would treat their sex life like he treated everything else- a competition. He would often take her fast and hard, which she hadn't minded because she enjoyed the passion. This behavior was so at odds with how they usually had sex that she felt as if they were making love for the first time.
"Say you'll take me back, Josie." Her eyes flew open when he drove into her hard. "Say you'll give me another chance."
She frowned as she tried to think clearly but he was making it hard. The anger and disappointment she had felt over the last few months were not something she could easily forget, but tonight his behavior was so different from his normally composed behavior. Maybe he really did want to change. Maybe-
Her thoughts were interrupted when he began to move faster, his hands gripping her shoulders to hold her in place.
"I can't leave here without knowing if I still have you." His voice was rough and he was breathing heavily, his entire body tense.
She bit her lip as she took in the man before her. That she loved him was an understatement. She could never imagine being with someone else and caring about them as much as she did him. So why was she hesitating?
She finally nodded but he didn't relax. "Yes?" he asked forcefully.
She nodded again but he lowered his head so his mouth was right by her ear, his warm breaths making her shiver. "Let me hear you say it, baby. Say you're mine- only mine."
"I'm yours," she repeated between frenzied breaths. She felt her body readying to come again and she gripped his shoulders tightly, her nails digging into his back.
He hissed in a breath but only increased his pace until the only sound in the room was their labored breaths.
Her orgasm took hold of her a few seconds before his back bowed and he let out a loud groan. The waves of pleasure hit her hard and by the time it was over, she could barely get enough air into her starved lungs. He collapsed beside her, his arms wrapping around her tightly as if afraid she would suddenly change her mind.
But Josie was far from changing her mind. He did love her, she was sure of that now. Tonight had proved to her beyond any doubt that he was scared however, and leaving him because of his fear just seemed cruel.
"Baby," he rumbled, his breath ticking her sensitive ear.
"Hmm?"
"When you were thinking about breaking up with me, did you ever think I didn't love you?"
His question caught her off guard. Had she ever thought that?
She was silent for a few moments. "I don't think I ever thought of it like that. I just felt like you didn't care enough about me to show me."
"But you never doubted my love for you?" he pressed.
"No, I guess not."
She felt him relax against her back. "Good."
"Is it that important to you?"
"Course it is. I don't ever want you to think I don't love you. Because I do- a lot."
Josie's lips curled into a smile as she felt her eyes getting heavy. This morning she had woken up feeling as if her life was emptier, thinking she would never see him again. She could think of no better end to her day than falling asleep in the arms of the man that she loved- and who loved her back.