A/N: Hi everyone *insert wave here*. So, this is my very first Fairy Tail story for this site. The fear of writing again after such a long, emotional hiatus is real, and even then, this is actually a repost of an old story that was never finished.

This story, since I began writing it two years ago, has become a sort of semi-autobiography. It'll be emotional, it'll be difficult, it'll be extremely personal, but it'll probably be the best therapy I'll get, and if it helps another young person in the process, then it'll all be worth it.

I hope you enjoy my story as well as Lucy's, and I pray that this will be my turning point. Thank you :o)

Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing . . .

Rating: M

Pairing: Natsu/Lucy

. . . . . .

I hadn't been in love the first time I had sex.

Mom had always said that when the time came for me that I would be.

But I wasn't.

She had always told me that it would be with my husband. My soulmate. Not with some guy I had just met. Not in the passenger seat of a beat-up Camaro. I wish she had told me that story instead of the fairy-tale.

'Good girls don't sleep around' had been her mantra.

I was still trying to convince myself that that's not what happened.

The Good Girl

Chapter One

I couldn't quite pinpoint the exact moment when my father's ramblings became a distant mumble. In my opinion, that's all they seemed to be these days. Not that my opinion was often asked for in the first place.

Once again, he seemed to be fixated on the boys down at the market place. The ones that gave our pretty little town a 'bad name'. You'd have thought they had committed murder at the rate he was going on; the gravy boat letting out a loud clang as he set it back on the table.

Glancing over at Ashley, I could tell that she felt just as drained with his bumbling's as I did. I tried my hardest to bite back my smirk as she rolled her eyes; our disinterest – not that it came as a shock – going completely unnoticed by Daddy Dearest. The warning glance from Mavis, however, was enough to let us know that she was more than aware.

I had come to learn that avoidance of eye contact was the best solution when it came to my older cousin's glare.

Head bowed, I fixed my gaze to my plate, Ashley handing me the basket of bread as my father's rants finally died down.

"Lucy, would you like to lead us in grace." It came as more of a command than a request.

Dad always saw leading the family in prayer as a reward. I saw it as another minute being trapped at the dinner table.

He prided himself, my Father did. Having two 'Godly' daughters seemed to be such a blessing according to him. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the praise he got from the Elders in the church on his spectacular parenting skills. But saying that, the praise could have been the blessing he had been talking about.

Instead of questioning him, however, I just closed my eyes.

"Thank you Lord for the food that we are about to receive," I recited like I had so many times, "bless it to our bodies, and bless the hands that made and prepared it. Amen."

A mumbled chorus of thanks rang out before the table came to life, Dad and Mavis immediately caught up in conversation. He had been so lonely lately. Mavis being home was probably the distraction he needed. I turned to Ashley, a ghost of smile tugging at my lips, but before I could even open my mouth I was stopped short by her phone ringing. Mavis' glare returned full force at that, but not that Ashley noticed. She was up and away into the next room before Dad had even clicked as to what was going on.

"See that damn phone," Mavis huffed. "I would kill to see her function without it for a day."

Dad hummed in agreement, his gaze never lifting from his meal. "Probably that Dragion boy again. They're continuously calling back and forth." He finally looked up, his eyes boring into me like a silent warning. "Young girls should be focusing on their futures, not boys."

The venom in his words was enough to make me flinch, an unnecessary guilt radiating from me.

Dad had always been good at that.

I glanced down at my plate, pushing the discomfort aside long enough to force a smile. "You could always just take the power cord away," I smiled, looking towards Mavis, "watch the fear in her eyes grow as the battery slowly dies."

As stern as Mavis was, and as much as she liked to think herself as prim and proper, she couldn't stop her snort of laughter from escaping. Even Dad left out a breathy chuckle, his spluttered cough into his wine a feeble attempt at masking it.

Mavis smiled. "And here I thought you were the good twin."

I forced that fake smile once again, the smile I had mastered long ago as a quietness fell amongst us.

The sound of cutlery scraping against the plates hung in the air as Ashley sauntered back in a few minutes later, a beaming grin plastered on. No doubt the Dragion boy had been the cause yet again. It was quite sickening to be honest, but from what Ashley was saying, he seemed to be a nice enough guy, and that said a lot because she hated everyone.

"Dinner time is family time, Ashley." Dad ground out.

I watched as Ashley visibly cringed, a mumbled apology spilling forth as she reached for her fork.

We sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime after that; Dad and Mavis occasionally muttering something to the other as Ashley tried – and failed – to test her skills in subtlety by texting under the table. It wasn't until we sat down to a family meal did I realize that my dad wasn't the only one who was feeling a little lonely these days.

"Lucy," Mavis spoke, a smile breaking out as if she had suddenly remembered something important, "your dance teacher Ms . . . Aquarius, is it?" I nodded. "Well, she called today when your father was at the office," I could feel my stomach begin to churn, "she told me that you had been shortlisted to perform for the talent scouts from The Edolas School of The Arts." I could only stare at her. "Why didn't you tell us you were doing so well?"

"I don't know." I mumbled with a shrug. "Just forgot I guess."

"Well just make sure you get the practise in," my dad boomed, placing his cutlery on his empty plate, "there's a lot of excellent dancers out there. You need to show them that you're the best of the best."

And that was exactly why I didn't want either of them finding out.

"I will, sir." I nodded, hoping that would end it. And it seemed to.

"Good girl."
. . . . . .

"You better be coming out tonight, you bitch." Cana barked down the phone. "No way can you miss the party of the fucking century."

"Cana, you hold the utmost of class, d'you know that?" I giggled, phone wedged firmly between my ear and shoulder as I finished coating my toenails in Innocence polish. "But I can't. My dad would go nuts."

Her sigh couldn't have been more exaggerated if she had tried.

"It's a college party, Luce, not a fucking orgy," was exactly what she thought of my excuse, "just tell your dad that you're coming out with Levy and me."

If only it were that simple.

I had only ever been to one party that hadn't consisted of someone blowing candles out. I was fourteen and had been dragged out by the ear when my dad had discovered me playing spin the bottle. The damn thing hadn't even landed on me once and I was still grounded until the end of the year.

"Fuck, Luce!" She so eloquently carried on. "You need to stop being such a good girl and live a little!"

Cana – believe it or not – was one of my best friends, and to put it frankly, one of the biggest bitches for miles; but where most would take great offence at the label bestowed upon her, for some odd reason, she seemed to wear it with pride. Dad, right from the get go, had said that she was nothing but trouble and that 'good girls' like me shouldn't be hanging out with the likes of her. My mom, however, had loved her like she was her own.

Dad hadn't won that argument.

Screwing the cap back onto the bottle nail polish, I heaved out a sigh, throwing the bottle to the bottom of the bed. I wanted to go to the party. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I really did, but I knew that if I were to ask Dad then the word 'no' would be out his mouth before I had even finished, and as intrigued as I was, I wondered if wasting precious breath was even worth it in the end.

"Luce . . ." Cana called out over my thoughts, "You're eighteen. You've graduated. You're not a little girl anymore. You don't have to be the good little girl that Daddy expects you to be."

"I'm . . . not." Was my feeble attempt at defence.

An Oscar winning performance it was not.

"Then come out!" She sang. "Drink a little. Smoke a little. Fuck a stranger or two." I couldn't help but laugh. As articulate as Cana was, the word 'fuck' was in her top five favourite. "Ha, laughter equals agreement!" She cried. "Now get the fuck up and get dressed, I'll pick you up in half an hour. What your daddy doesn't know won't hurt him."

Arguing was obviously futile.

"Fine!" I caved, staring down at my newly painted toenails. "I can only hope you're right."

. . . . . .

My mom had always told me that it was easy to be wise in hindsight, but if you had already been wise to start with and still went ahead with your actions, then you had been a fool right from the beginning.

In my case, I don't quite think that fool was a strong enough word.

Creeping downstairs in my best dress, I had known that sneaking off to the party had been the fool's way. When Mavis had stopped me in the hallway, the chanting to my inner self to head back up the stairs had rung out loud and clear. But still, I had stuttered out the pathetic excuse of heading out to the diner with Cana and Levy before shuffling out the front door.

She had watched me the whole time, a small smile tugging at her lips as she had gently waved me off. I could tell that she knew I had lied. I could see it in her eyes. Disappointment with a hint of disbelief. But then again, the guilt that hung over me as I climbed into Cana's Bug had been enough to blind me from reality. Levy and Cana had managed to keep the journey alive however; the excitement they felt for the party masking my discomfort.

We eventually found ourselves on the outskirts of Magnolia just before the sun went down, the old estate building – not unlike my father's – lit up like Christmas tree. The minute we stepped out the car, my mother's words echoing in my ear, I wondered if faking a stomach ache was enough to head home.

My friends had called bull before I could even mutter a goodbye.

So that's how I found myself where I was. Standing in the corner of the grand living room – Cana and Levy nowhere in sight – the party in full swing.

I had no idea how long I had been standing there, my gaze fixed firmly out the window just waiting for Dad to pull up in his car and drag me home. With the thumping music and the screaming frat boys, I couldn't even begin to comprehend how people found these things entertaining. But I guess most people didn't have a father like mine.

Scanning the room, I caught a brief glimpse of Levy talking to someone. Cana was still nowhere to be found, but at the sound of her laughter carrying over the noise, I knew she couldn't have been too far away.

Turning back to the window, waiting seemed to be the only thing I'd be doing.

"Just run already." A voice rang out beside me, a hint of a chuckle lacing every word. "No one's going to stop you."

The boy – man – who the voice belonged to looked to be just as enthralled with his surroundings as I did. Bottle of bud in hand, he never looked at me, his eyes cast out into the sea of people as they gyrated to the music.

"Excuse me?" Was my response.

"You've been staring out the window since you got here," he elaborated, taking a swing from his beer, "so I figured you were either waiting on someone or looking for a quick escape." Finally looking down at me, he smirked. "I don't see you standing here with anyone else, so figured it must be the latter."

Crossing my arms, I gave a soft shrug, a strange feeling of exposure washing over me.

"I guess parties aren't really my thing." I answered. "I shouldn't even be here, really."

He looked at me, but he didn't say anything. He just stood there, drinking his beer, his attention being drawn in every direction.

He didn't look like a college boy. Not your typical one, anyway. He seemed to be a bit older than most of the guys there, but then again, I had never been very good at pegging peoples ages. His pink hair stood in all directions; an organized mess with the odd tresses falling into his onyx eyes. At least, I was going to say they were onyx. Black was too boring, and this guy was as far from boring as you could get. The small faint scars scattering over his cheeks and neck gave his young face a lived-in look, but even with them, I couldn't say he was unattractive.

Quite the opposite really.

I couldn't help thinking that he must have been sweltering standing there, a leather jacket and scarf not the typical summer attire for Magnolia, but looking at him there wasn't a drop of sweat to be seen.

"Aren't you a little old to be at a college party?" I stupidly asked, breaking the silence.

He glanced down at me, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Aren't you a little nosey?" Was his reply.

I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

"Sorry." I muttered, my eyes roaming back out the window.

Silence falling over us again, I got the impression that he wasn't much of a talker.

"What's your name?" I asked, the quietness quickly becoming more awkward than the party itself. "Mine's Lucy."

For the briefest of moments, I wondered if he would answer me at all, but he did, and I relaxed a little.

"Natsu," was the reply he gave as he finished the remainder of his drink, "and I'm only here because it's my friend's girlfriend's house."

He smiled at me then, the fears I had earlier of annoying him quickly vanishing.

"Is your friend even here?" I asked, hoping to have found some common ground.

He nodded, a slight roll of his eyes hinting towards annoyance. "Haven't seen him in a while though."

Looking round the room, I finally caught sight of Cana; a smile stretched across her face as she led a burly looking man out the room behind her. I guess I was going to stuck with Natsu a little longer than expected. "Same here."

Shaking his empty bottle, Natsu sighed. "You want a beer?" He called, making his way to the table of refreshments.

"Uh . . ." came my less than articulate reply as I quickly followed behind, "I'm only eighteen."

"So?" He chuckled, two cups in hand.

"Well . . . it's just . . . if my dad finds out," I couldn't have sounded prissier if I had put my mind to it, "but sure . . . why not?"

As I took hold of the cup I could feel my heart begin to race, another quick glance out the window sending me into a panic. Any minute now and he'd come stampeding through that door. I knew it.

"Y'know, you don't have to drink it if you don't want it." Natsu smirked, downing half his cup.

I couldn't understand why he still appeared sober.

Relieved, but feeling my embarrassment make itself obvious, I set the cup down. My small smile of apology seeming to go unnoticed by him.

"Do you always do what your told?" He asked, turning to face me fully for the first time.

Crossing my arms tightly over my chest, I glared at him. "No."

Even I didn't believe me, and going by his laughter, neither did he.

"Calm down, Luce," he smiled, "was just wondering. It's just, you seem kind of like . . ." don't say it, "the good girl."

And there it was.

"You don't even know me, Natsu." I spat, straightening my back to square him up.

"Just saying what I see." He shrugged, bringing the red cup to his lips.

The annoyance that bubbled up within me felt so foreign at first, his arrogant smirk sending a wave of determination washing over me. I'd show him. I'd show everybody.

Snatching the cup from his hand, I gulped down the little that was left, the burning liquid sliding down my throat threatening to bring my dinner back up. Face screwed up, I threw the cup to the floor; Natsu biting his thumbnail in amusement.

"You got a car?" I asked him.

Tongue in cheek, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, his smile slipping into intrigue. "Yeah, I've got a car."

Breathing slightly erratic, I fought back the urge to pick at my nails, a nervous habit I was so famous for. Staring up at him, I could see the wonder in his eyes as he waited for me to give him the word.

"Luce?" He smirked.

". . . Take me some place quiet."

. . . . . .

We ended up by the lake. The one hidden deep in the woods about forty minutes from Magnolia, and it was very quiet. Sitting in the passenger seat of the old Camaro, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. I just sat there, staring out onto the water, the only light coming from the moon up above.

The sound of his breathing was the only thing I could hear. That, and the sound of my heart thundering away in my chest; every beat a threat that it would burst out from its confinements.

I could only pray that he couldn't hear it too.

"Luce," Natsu whispered, cutting in through the silence, "you know you don't have to prove anything to me. I'll take you home right now if you want."

But I wouldn't go home. Not yet anyway.

"I'm not trying to prove anything to you." I said just as quietly, my breath hitching in the back of my throat.

I was proving something to myself.

Finding the courage to look at him, I felt the goose pimples rise on my arms, but he didn't seem to notice. He waited for what felt like a lifetime before slowly sliding closer to me, his arm – without hesitation – slinking round my shoulders to pull me in. I could see now that onyx was definitely the right colour choice.

I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath until he leaned in, his lips gently ghosting over my jaw as he brought his other arm round my waist. Closing my eyes, I tried to relax into him. I tried to empty my mind of all worries; but with each wet kiss he planted on me, I soon found relaxation to be impossible.

Natsu was my first kiss, and I was shocked at myself for enjoying so much considering what I was about to do.

"Last chance." He whispered against my lips, his fingers tracing the hem of my dress as he pulled back to look at me.

But I couldn't stop him. I couldn't find the words to stop him. Instead I just nodded him to continue.

I looked out the window as I felt a tug at my underwear; the sound of his belt clinking in the emptiness making it all so real. As he moved on top of me, his knees parting my own so he could lie in between, I finally looked back up at him.

"I-I'm a virgin." I confessed. "Just . . . thought that you should know."

"I'll be careful." He promised.

I could only nod. As silly as it was, it was all I could do.

Once again, I found I couldn't look at him. My feet sat propped up on the dash board, so staring at my toes seemed to be the best distraction as he moved in closer; the freshly painted Innocence polish slightly chipped from my shoes.

I couldn't even bring myself to look at them in the end, each tow curling in on itself at the irony.

As Natsu's lips found their way to my neck, I turned my gaze back out the window, my attention quickly being caught by my reflection in the wing mirror.

I never knew that a day would come where I wouldn't recognize the girl who stared back at me, but as Natsu pushed forward, and the pain shot through me, she became a stranger.

. . . . . .

A/N: Well guys, what did you think? Please leave a little review to let me know, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask away. Thanks, my lovelies xoxox