I spot her almost immediately. She has done as I asked and has worn something pretty. It is a pretty blue thing that makes her stand out in the crowd. Or maybe that's just me.
She sees me and smiles grimly. I know why.
Despite whatever vapid Effie Trinket says, the odds are never in our favor. With fathers killed in the mine explosion and large families to feed, the odds haven't exactly kind to either of us.
But then again, it's not right to blame the odds. It's the Capitol's fault were being reaped like slaughter pigs.
I ball my fist in anger.
Katniss's name will be in twenty times. The odds of her getting chosen is great, and even if her name is not drawn, she still has two more years. In two more years her name will be in….
The number is too big. I try not to think about it as I am herded into the section for eighteen year olds. This is my last year to be reaped. I don't even remember how many times my name has been put in this year but I know the number is high.
I wonder what would happen if my name was picked. I would become a tribute and then what? The Hunger Games would be a horrible way to go but at least you get it over with quickly. A couple weeks and then you're just gone.
If my name doesn't get pick I will go to work at the mines and hunt in the forest with Catnip. I will have to suffer pain and hunger. I will have to watch my siblings go through the reaping. And if they survive until their eighteen they are doomed to the same fate as all who live in District Twelve.
Work the mines until we die.
Always under the thumb of the Capitol. Always having to follow their rules, or at least appearing to.
But maybe there is a third choice. Maybe if I can convince Katniss to run away with me. I wonder how seriously she took my proposal in the forest. If I had time, I could convince her, I'm sure of it. Nobody in the Capitol with care that to nobodies from the poorest district have disappeared. And we could run, free of Capitol rule, living off the land. I know we could do it. Me and Katniss as a team. And maybe something more.
But I don't let my thoughts get carried away. I've learned not to expect much. If you do, you will end up disappointed and possibly dead.
I just want the two of us to survive this year. This day.
Then we will have a whole year to decide what to do.
The Mayor stops speaking. I didn't realize he had begun. I glance around and see Haymitch, our only surviving victor, trying to give Effie a hug. He must be very drunk if he can bear to touch her repulsive Capitol skin. I hope he throws up on her.
He doesn't but Effie's expression could have fooled me. She pushes him away looking repulsed. At least it's amusing. Some kind of small retribution for sending us kids off to die for fifteen? Was it fifteen years? I lost count.
I glance at Katniss. She smiles sadly. I try to smile back but I'm afraid it comes out more of a grimace.
"Ladies first," I hear Effie chirp in her stupid Capitol accent. I want to rip her throat out to save all of our ears. She pulls out a slip and reads the name. and suddenly I'm not thinking about her voice or her accent.
I whorl around searching for Katniss. I see a wild frenzy in her eyes. She releases a strangled cry, shouting her sister's name. I know any hope I had for a future with her is lost because I know her well enough to be able to anticipate her next move. I can only brace myself for the blow.
It is over in an instant.
"I volunteer. I volunteer as a tribute."
Katniss's voice brands those words into my brain. All is silent for a brief moment. I don't know if its just me or if the crowd is actually quiet. Then all hell breaks loose.
I see Prim, her sister, the one who's name was drawn, the one Katniss volunteered for. She is screaming. without realizing it my feet carry me towards the stage. Katniss will need help.
"Prim, let go." I hear her say. "Let go." Her voice is harsh but I can tell she is holding back tears. I grab Prim by the waist and pull her back. Her tiny fist flail and beat my chest but I don't feel anything. I lock eyes with Katniss. She needs to go up the stage. A small part of me wants to tell her to stay, to change her mind, but I know her too well. There is no going back. She has made her decision. She made it as soon as Effie pulled out that blasted slip of paper.
"Up you go, Catnip." I say fighting to keep my voice even. But I can't watch her climb those steps. Instead I turn and carry Prim towards her mother.
I hear Katniss's voice though what she is saying is lost to me. Then applause. Then another name.
Peeta Mellark.
And just like that my last reaping is over. I didn't even have time to worry about my name being picked, but now I am grateful that I wasn't reaped.
Me and Katniss in the same arena would have been disastrous. I don't think that I would have been able to do it. Kill my best friend. My only friend. I'm glad it didn't have to come down to that.
But how can I think of myself when she still has to go in. I see her standing up there. She looks like she did when I first saw her right after the mine accident. Still, miserable, refusing to let tears fall, but weeping on the inside.
All I can do is watch her. Wish I was up there with her. Instead of her.
After the final speech and the anthem they take her away. I spot Prim and her mother entering the Justice Building to say their final goodbyes. I follow. Katniss will need some advice if she is going to come home again. She will come home again, I think. But then I remember not to get my hopes up. The odds…
No. Screw the odds.
I get in line to say goodbye. Over and over in my mind I repeat what I am going to tell her. But as soon as I enter the room and see her sitting there all alone I forget everything. I open my arms and she falls into them. This is not the first time I've hugged her but everything about his hug seems heightened. I am acutely aware of her body on mine, the smell of her hair, everything. I could hold her like that forever.
Finally I break away. I don't want to, but it's time to discuss tactics.
"Listen," I say. "Getting a knife should be pretty easy, but you're got to get your hands of a bow. That's your best chance."
"They don't always have bows."
"Then make one. Even a weak bow is better than no bow at all."
"I don't even know if there'll be wood."
"There's almost always some wood. Since that year half of them died of cold. Not much entertainment in that."
I can see her mind working realizing the truth of what I say. "Yes, there's usually some." She says finally.
"Katniss," I begin desperately for once using her real name. I need to do something to make her realize she can win this. "Katniss, it's just hunting. You're the best hunter I know." It is the truth.
"It's not just hunting. They're armed. They think."
"So do you," I say furiously. "And you've had more practice." Then I think of the Career tributes. "Real practice." I amend. "You know how to kill."
"Not people."
"How different can it be, really?"I say grimly, because unfortunately the execution of it must be the same. Just don't think about it too much. I silently beg. Don't think of them as people think of them as animals. They will kill you if you don't kill them, and you're not becoming a martyr. You're coming home.
Suddenly the Peacekeeper barge through the door. Our time is up so soon and I realize that there is one last thing I need to tell her before I go. About how I feel.
"Don't let them starve." Katniss cries out.
"I won't. You know I won't!" I shout reassurances at her. "Katniss, remember I—" but the Peacekeepers yank us apart before I have a chance to finish.
And then she is gone.
A/N As you may have noticed, thanks to Keeta11 suggestion I changed Catnip to Katniss when Gale thinks of her. I re-read the story and realized that this sounded better. So thanks to Keeta11 for bring this to my attention:) and thanks to all who read