AN: Written for a challenge on the Writing Junkie forum. I enjoyed writing it!
Characters belong to Square Enix and such.
(Josh is just a random made up character. Not a real character from Final Fantasy. He belongs to me..)
"Why do I have to wear this stupid thing?" Paine complained, as she pulled the short dress over her head. The red dress went down her thigh midway, it was strapless and had black lace at the bottom.
Paine took a moment to look into a mirror. A red pointed tail hung limply behind her, poking a little out to the left. The wings stuck out from behind her, demanding attention by their beauty. They seemed to be made of lace, but if you were to touch them, you would know it was feathers. The wings started out with a stern ebony color, and faded into a firey crimson. Her red horns could barely be seen through her short grey hair, and the pitchfork she held in her hand was silver, with black and red tips.
"Hey! It's not stupid! And you know why! Silly! Now step outside and let us see!" Rikku responded. Waiting to see Paine step out of the bathroom. When there was no door being dramatically opened and Paine stepping outside radiating beauty (not that Paine would make such a dramatic entrance) Rikku continued into a plea with Paine. "Aww! Please let us see Paine!" Rikku added, "We'll still love you! We promise!" With that Rikku couldn't help but to giggle, and Yuna reached a hand over to cover Rikku's mouth.
"Come on Paine. I'm sure it isn't that bad. Go ahead and step out." Yuna encouraged.
Paine rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest before pulling away from the mirror. She shook her head and relunctantly reached down to open the door. When she did she must have had the most digusted look on her face. Yuna and Rikku both started a giggling fit.
"Okay. That's it. I'm taking this horrible thing off!" Paine went to turn around and march back into the bathroom, but was stopped with Yuna and Rikku both lunged foward and clung to her.
"We weren't laughing at the dress! We were laughing at your expression! And you're not going anywhere! Except to the party of course, and don't forget the rest of th-"
"Yeah, yeah. Don't remind me." Paine said interupting Rikku.
Yuna looked at Paine, "It doesn't look all that bad. I think it looks nice on you.. Very suiting."
"Hey, I think it matches your personality." Rikku added with a small wink. "They guys are going to be all over you!"
Paine rolled her eyes once more and responded, "Yeah, and my sword will be all through them."
"Oh, no, no." Rikku replied, "No sword for you. You have a pitchfork. I'm sure you can make due with that!"
Paine gave an unamused glare. "It's stuffed with cotton..."
What if I actually start to like this? What if I ruin everything I've worked for?
Once Rikku and Yuna were all dressed up, Rikku as a mouse and Yuna as a fairy, Paine was even more relunctant to leave the house. "Come on, Paine, it's not that bad. I even dressed up like a fairy for you. Fairy costumes are ridiculous." Altough, Yuna didn't want to admit in front of Paine, she thought the fairy costume looked cute on her.
Preperations.. That's all I need. I need to stay prepared...
Rikku, Paine and Yuna were late. The girls had to basically drag Paine out of the house. "Here we are!" Announced Rikku as she approached the doors to the mansion.
Paine was not well pleased with being drug here. She couldn't believe she was actually here, and she couldn't believe she was actually going to be forced to do those things.. Paine felt a small push from behind as Rikku nudged her into the mansion. Yuna felt kind of bad for Paine, but she knew this would be good for her.. Well, Yuna hoped it would be good for Paine.
The room was dark, only orange lights lit the room up slightly. There was a bar, and a living room type-place, with sofas and a stereo. There were plenty of guys mingling about, and oman dressed in skimpy costumes could be seen hanging all over the men. The was host was no where to be seen.
To Paine she saw a bunch of unimportant, useless humans milling about, getting drunk and wasting their lives more than a hobo would be. Ignorant, selfish, belligerant humans, and here she was, among them. She would much rather be somewhere else, alone, hanging with Yuna or Rikku, but not here.
Just keep a distance.. Just put on a show.. It has to be convincing..
Rikku decided Paine wasn't moving fast enough so she took the iniative to lead the way, grabbing Paine by her tail and dragging her across the floor to the bar. She sat Paine down, "Okay! Now you have to sit there and look pretty! Strut your stuff!" Paine crossed her arms. Yuna and Rikku said their temporary fair-wells and went off to go find some guys to mingle with. Leaving Paine all by herself, well, she wasn't completely alone. There was a drunk smurf sitting next to her trying to get her attention.
"Hey pre-tay lay-die." He mumbled, the smell of alcohol surrounded Paine and she gritted her teeth.
"Leave me alone, before I shove your fist down your throat." Was all she replied with, rolling her eyes. Really? They expected her to do it here? At a party, with drunk guys dressed up in ridiculous costumes? She should have just done what they wanted in the first place..
Paine glanced around looking for Yuna or Rika, but she couldn't find them. "Whatever." She whispered to herself as she carelessly walked across the room. Something caught her attention, sparkles, maybe it was the sparkles from Yuna's fairy costume. Paine was about to see more of the costume when she bumped into someone. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" She demanded.
"If I'm not mistaken, it was you that wasn't watching where you were going."
Paine just ignored the comment and continued walking, she wasn't expecting the guy to follow her. "Aren't you going to apologize for running into me?" He asked when he got close enough.
"No. Why would I?" She recoiled.
"Because that is what normal people do when they run into someone." He answered.
"Go away. You're getting on my nerves."
The guy dressed as an assassin stepped in front of her. "Oh? You want me to go away?" He more stated than asked.
Paine sidestepped and went to continue forward when he, yet again, stepped in front of her. "Watch it. You don't want everyone to see you get beat up by a girl. Now I suggest you step aside and let me through."
Paine went to go shove the guy when she saw Rikku laughing in the corner. Paine opened her mouth but knew Rikku wouldn't hear her. Paine turned around, ready to forget this guy existed and stepped forward to find her best friend standing in front of her. Yuna turned Paine around to face the assassin once again. "Sorry about her rudeness. She has a bit of a temper. How about I buy you two a drink and Paine makes it up to you?" Yuna asked, without seeking Paine's approval first.
The assassin smiled. "I'll buy it, if she makes it up to me."
Yuna whispered,"Go get him tiger." and shoved her friend forward. The guy pulled Paine closer to him, so she would walk by his side. Paine gritted her teeth, she couldn't believe she was actually doing this.. For the moment she despised Yuna and Rikku.
I can't let my gaurd down..It shouldn't be too hard.
Paine sat down on a stool beside the assassin. He ordered two drinks, and turned towards Paine. "So, Paine. I like your name. It fits you, but I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Josh, nice to meet you. What brings you to this party?"
"Thanks." She said trying to hide the cold edge from her voice. "My friends brought me here."
"Ahh. Why? You don't seem to like it here, or like wearing that costume either. Do you?"
"You ask a lot of questions."
"Just trying to find your motive. I mean, you look amazing in that devil costume, but it just doesn't seem like something you would wear on your own free will." He said, defending himself.
Someone must have turned the volume up on the stereo, because now she could hear it. She glanced over at the stereo to find Rikku starting to walk away from it. "Of course." She mumbled to herself.
"Hmm? What was that?" Asked the assassin.
"Nothing." Paine replied, as she looked down at her cup and took a drink out of it. "Why don't you find some other girl to bug?" Asked Paine as looked up from her drink.
The man was sitting by a pumpkin lamp, which lit up his face. Now, when she actually decided to looka t him, she could make out grey eyes, with a small shimmer to them. Straight drak hair, with bangs in his eyes and hair that went down to the nap of his neck. Josh smiled and brought his glance to hers. "Because, I like bugging you. You're more interesting than the rest of them."
Paine was offended by the remark. "More interesting? What am I like some sort of specimen you want to disect? Go away."
Josh just laughed. "No, no. Nothing like that. You just have more personality to you than the other girls. You're original, and not boring."
Paine could almost believe she caught a glimpse of melody to his laugh, but shrugged it off as just her imagination.
"Right, so when will all this flattery end?" She asked in an exasperated manner.
Josh just gave the same smile and said something that startled Paine, " I get it, you don't like me, but you know, you haven't even given me a chance. You don't know me. You don't know the type of person I am. So how about this. just give me a chance. If you don't like me, then okay, sorry for wasting your time. But don't reject me without even letting me try."
Paine just looked at him. "Why should I give you a chance? You'll hurt me just like everyone else.." Paine's eyes widened. She had said too much already. She rolled her eyes and looked at Josh. "So, whatever. You want a chance. Take it. ...What type of person are you?"
"I don't know. You'll have to figure that out yourself." He said in a soft voice with a sly smile on his face."
Paine raised her eyebrow, "You want me to figure it out? Haven't I done enough already? I've given you your chance."
"You're right. I'm sorry your majesty. I'll be sure to remember my lowly peasant place from now on. I'll be sure not to step out of my little place in your kingdom." Josh said with this look on his face that Paine couldn't help but to crack a smile at as she rolled her eyes.
Fight it. I can't let my gaurd down.. I've gone too far already.
"I'm not a queen. I'm a devil."
"Oh but is not the devil, a queen? A queen of the underworld." Josh said as he took a sip of his drink.
Paine was about to protest that comment when a slow song came on and Josh's attitude changed comepletely. Josh got up and stood in front of Paine, offering her his hand. "You still have something to make up to me. So, dance with me. That will make up for your rudeness earlier." He once again, had that sly look on his face.
Paine protested, "No. I'm not dancing." She glanced around the room, and saw Yuna looking at her nodding her head, "Go." her lips were saying. Paine just shook her head. "I'm not dancing." She said once again.
"Of course you're not." Josh replied.
"Wait. What?"
"You don't want to dance with me beause you're scared. You're a pretty tough girl aren't you? So face your fears. Let's dance. Unless you're going to let fear run your life.. I mean I guess I was wrong about assuming you were a fighter at heart."
Paine just stared at him.. Who was this guy? He seemed to have figured her out. Or he was doing it as he went. Or he was guessing. He had no right to tell her she was letting fear run her life.. "I can't believe I'm about to do this.." She whispered to herself.
Paine stood up, ignoring his hand. "Fine. You can have your dance. But that is all I'm doing to make up for my 'rudeness' to you." She emphasised rudeness with a sarcastic tone.
Josh just laughed and gently took her by her waist out to the middle of the room. There were other people dancing too. Paine could see Rikku and Yuna bouncing up and down in the corner, probably beause Paine actually went out onto the 'dancefloor' with him. Before Paine could object Josh had put his hand on her waist, brought her close to him, and started dancing. Paine looked around a little bit.. She didn't know what she was doing, and for once, she felt scared. Paine didn't object to any movement, she was busy just trying to keep up with Josh.
"Josh.. I don't know what I'm doing." She was waiting for him to start laughing at her, but he didn't. He simply told her to follow his lead. She tried her best and he didn't say anything when she messed up. For once Paine felt like a child, she felt ignorant, and unsure. She just wanted to get this whole thing over with. "Fight my fears.." She whispered to herself once again..
Paine slowly got the hang of it. Josh's hands were warm, and for a moment she told herself she liked it, but quickly dismissed the thought. Josh drew her closer once again, and whispered to her, "So what is holding you back?"
Paine looked at him with a questionable look on her face. "What do you mean?"
Josh grinned. "Nothing."
Paine glared at him.
Josh chuckled a bit. "Isn't that what you would say if I asked you a question you didn't feel like answering?"
Paine didn't understand it. He seemed to know her so well.. But how? Josh made her feel like a child again, fragile, weak, and ignorant. She didn't completely hate the feeling, it was something new to her, so she still wasn't sure what to think about it.
It'll be too late soon. I can't let this go any father. I can't risk it. Just stop..
Before Paine realized it, the song was over and Josh was leading her back to her seat, his hand still on her waist. She felt like she was in darkness and he was the one to leading her, whether it was to the light or to an abyss, she wasn't sure.
"Wait did you want to continue dancing?" Josh asked when they sat back down.
"No." Paine replied, keeping things short and simple. She didn't want to complicate things anymore.
"Well, that wasn't so bad was it?"
'You're body was warm.. Kind of.. comforting...' "Seriously? It was like hell."
Josh just gave his usual grin. "Of course it was."
Paine was starting to be a bit confused by this guy. 'What does he like see right through me?' "What makes you tick?"
It was Josh's turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"
"Why do you do that? Continue to say things about me that no one else has figured out. Why do you hang around? If you know me so well as it seems you do, why stick around and ask questions. You should know the answers." She quizzed him
"Because, I don't know the answers to all the questions I ask. Don't get all defensive. I just pay attention to you. The things I say are easy to see. Your personality radiates from you." He shrugged his shoulders. "Look, I know you're an independent person who pushes everyone away and keeps to yourself. You don't tell people things, and you don't admit your emotions. You're strong and you stay that way for yourself. You have all these defenses and walls, but I just want to get past those and see the beauty that lays inside. One person shouldn't have to fend off the whole world by themselves. Let me in, let me help. Let me be your shoulder to lean on."
"I've been just fine on my own. I've never once thought I needed someone, or their help." Paine retorted.
"Until recently." He replied.
Paine's mouth fell slightly open, but she kept her emotionless face.
Josh took her silence as an invitation to continue. "Let's face it. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't started thinking you'd need someone. You weren't knowing what to expect but you figured if you could find someone maybe it wouldn't hurt. You're just too afraid to let anyone in, because .. well I don't know why. Maybe you're afraid they will hurt you, but I haven't figured that out yet. But anyways, you are here because you secretly do want someone. You're starting to think you should have someone to help you. Someone to rely on. You know you can't hold out on your own forever. So go ahead, take that chance. Let someone in."
Paine shook her head. "No you're wrong."
Josh looked into her eyes. "Am I really?"
Paine looked up from her glass and her eyes met his..
Josh just whispered, "You don't have to be alone forever."
Paine dropped her glance. "Why? Why do you act like you care so much? Why does it matter to you? We just met."
I can't let my gaurd down... I'm caving too much already.. Don't let everything fall in on itself. All that I've worked for..
Josh smiled a rather charming smile. "Because, I can see what's inside of you. I see passed your looks. I see the person behind the mask. I like you. You're different, not sappy like all the other girls. Not easy to get, but I bet totally worth it."
Paine shook her head. None of this was making sense. It was all moving so fast. Emotions she had never felt before came to her. Emotions she had blocked to protect herself. Her instincts told her to leave. To kill him. To do something, anything but let him talk sweet-nothings to her. Surely it was all lies.. Even if it wasn't he would her hurt at some point. He would make her feel weak and powerless and destroy her with his lies..
Paine felt like crying. Like all the pain she had hiden, covered up, fought for years had came back to her. She felt like she needed someone. 'Do I really need someone?'
Josh noticed her change in mood, and stood up, walked over to her and offered her a hug. He honestly wasn't expecting to recieve one. He was expecting her to stab him and put the 'threat' out of her life. Put the person who was trying to ruin everything she had worked for out of her life for good, but when she hugged him back he knew she was starting to crack and couldn't take everything by herself anymore.
He simply whispered it's okay, and hugged her for as long as she needed. Paine felt stupid. She felt weak. She felt pathetic. She was the tough one. She was the fighter, and here she was. One person. One person had in a matter of a couple hours ruined it all. One person broke her walls, smashed them all to pieces.. She could do nothing now but hope that he was being sincere. Hope that she would be able to trust him.. A complete stranger, whom she knew nothing about was about to be a big part in her life. Whether he wanted it or not. Becuase if he hurt her, if she had to go through the pain of loss again, she would not let him live... She wouldn't be able to, not after making her look so weak.
It's too late..
3 days earlier
"Paine. Are you okay? You seem to be distracted. Rikku and I are worried about you. Tell us what is bothering you. You can be open with us."
"I'm okay." Was all I could say. As I stared off into the distance, unable to look her in the face.
"We know you aren't okay. Look, if you can't be open with us find someone to be open with."
"No. There is no point in it. I'm fine. I don't need anyone to be open with. Okay? Geez. Just stop."
"Paine. You have to tell me."
"No. I wont."
"Yes. I swear. It's getting so annoying. Paine, you're the loner of the group. You're the only one holding secrets. We know nothing of your past! You can't keep doing this to yourself. It's destroying you. Paine, we care about you. You're our friend. Please, let us help."
"Yuna. I don't want your help." I really do... I want someone... Anyone. I'm tired of being alone. There is only so much I can take..
"Fine. Paine. If you wont open up to us. Promise us one thing.. You have to promise us this.. Please.."
"What is it?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know what I would have to sign myself up for to keep my independence.
"You'll find someone to open up to."
"How am I suppose to do that?" I asked. Doubting her plan, but if it didn't work, oh well, I'd be scotch free.
"There is a halloween party coming up soon. Me and Rikku will get you a costume, and you'll go. You'll enjoy yourself, and try to talk to people. Be social. Don't just shove everyone away. Youhave to talk to people. Don't turn anyone down. Be social. Maybe you'll find someone to open up to.. Okay?"
"If I agree to this, I'll be off the hook?"
"Yep. But you can't turn people down. Rikku and I will be there to back you up!"
"Fine, I promise. I'll go and talk to people. But I'm not going to gaurntee anything, and I refuse to start the conversation. They have to approach me." At least that will lower my chances of having to talk to anyone.
Yuna just smiled and nodded.. Oh great. What have I just signed myself up for? I don't want to know what she has planned...
-
Halloween party
-
"Paine.." Josh whispered.
Paine was still holding onto him, though she had stopped crying a while ago. They had walked to a more private room, when she had begun her break down, Josh knew she wouldn't want anyone to see her like that. "Yes?" She asked.
He remained quiet for a moment. All Paine heard was the beating of his heart. It sounded so certain, so steady. Paine knew exactly what he wanted to hear. Since she had been debating her answer to this question for about an hour. Paine decided she was ready.
"Yes." Was all she said in response to the question he didn't have to speak.
Josh...Josh, now you must stay. I feel so fragile now. I need you. Your embrace. You transformed me.. How? With sweet-nothings and stupid words... I don't want you to leave...Please stay with me. Don't go. Help me through this pain. Help me overcome this hurt.. Don't go.