So, I got bored. I wrote a draft. It was somewhat interesting. I fixed it up. And this is what I came up with. Doing this for no real reason but you know what? I don't care! So yeah, review it, love it, hate it, I really don't care. If you want to give ideas, PM me. If you want to talk, PM me. I'm almost always on. So yeah, enjoy.
I do not own Red vs Blue (at all)
Prologue: A Prank Gone Wrong
Agent Washington's footsteps echoed down the empty halls of the Mother of Invention. It was the dead of night and at any moment he expected a bullet to blow his brains out.
He had set a trap for quite possibly the most dangerous person on board. He hadn't thought it would come to this. It had started out just for fun. Now, it was a battle for supremacy.
Wash though back to when it all began…
It had started out a normal day for him. Wash was walking back to his room, whistling as normal, when Agent York flew past him. "What the fu-?!" he had managed to get out before York suddenly answered.
"Oh uh hey Wash what's up? How are the ki-, I mean you don't have any kids but anyway uh…bye!" Before wash could respond to York's garbled sentence he was gone.
"Wonder what's wrong with that guy." Wash mumbled to himself as he kept walking.
As he neared his door he started taking off pieces of his armor. He opened his door and was instantly covered in a bucket of censored (for OBVIOUS reasons). "WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS THIS?!" he yelled out in alarm. "IT SMELLS LIKE FUCKING CAT PISS! WHO THE HE-!" he stopped mid-sentence as realization hit him. "YORK!"
-Time lapse-
It had been two days since York's "prank" and Washington had done some planning. He gone through countless books and websites. Most of them were to figure out how to get back at York but a few were how to remove the "substance" from his body.
"Ah, this sounds good." Wash thought aloud. It was a simple prank, put grape Kool-Aid in York's shower head. As soon as he turned it on, purple water, and purple body. As he snuck down the hallway towards York's door, he made sure not to make a sound. He neared the door and knocked. No response. He quickly entered his room with the password North had given him quickly shut the door behind him. He was in the lion's den.
It took him three minutes flat to rig the shower and another two to get out. This was mainly because he had to make everything look undisturbed. Finally, when he felt everything was good and in order, he left the room.
That night, while he was sitting in his bed, he heard a guttural shriek come out of York's room. He smiled while Maine looked up with a confused look on his face. "What the hell was that?" he growled.
"No idea." Wash snickered.
-Time lapse-
The prank war had been going on for nearly a month with no real winner. Both Wash and York were tired of it but neither would admit defeat.
The other agents had noticed it too. They constantly saw Wash and York giving each other death glares but when asked about it, they refused anything was going on.
Then one day, all of that changed. As Wash was conversing with North about different types of traps, Agent Texas walked into the locker room. She gave one bored look at Wash and North before saying,
"Seriously, GROW UP." York started laughing until she looked at him and stated, "If you don't shut up, I will make sure you never have kids, ever." York shut up immediately and turned pale." Tex smirked and ended the conversation with a blunt statement. "I would never fall for one of you stupid pranks."
Wash saw this as a challenge.
So here he was, running down a hallway trying to get away from Tex, the crusher of balls and destroyer of Testosterone.
He looked behind him and was relieved to see nobody there. He sighed in relief and slowed to a jog and then to a walk. Finally he turned a corner and stopped completely taking deep breaths.
He heard something around the bend and he held his breath. He slowly looked around the corner. To his relief, there was nobody there.
He didn't notice the background shimmer behind him.
WHAM!
Wash regained conscious and realized he was face first on the ground. He felt his nose and his hand came away bloody. "What in the wo-?" he froze as he heard the sound of a gun cocking. He slowly turned around and his breath hitched as he realized there was a gun pointed right between his eyes.
The wielder of the weapon was a very pissed off, pink armored Tex. "YOU ARE IN SOOO MUCH TROUBLE." The sound of both Tex's voice and Omegas combined was enough to make him piss himself.
He gulped hard as he saw her finger tighten around the trigger. "YOU ARE QUITE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST PERSON ON THIS SHIP! WHY THE HELL DID YOU BUT A BUCKET OF PINK PAINT IN MY DOORWAY?!"
Wash knew this was the end so he closed his eyes.
Suddenly the voice of F.I.L.S.S. came out over the loud speaker. "Top agents, Report to the bridge immediately, thank you."
Texas slowly moved her gun from Wash's face and holstered it. "YOU'RE ONE LUCKY ASSHOLE WASHINGTON." She stated before she left.
Wash blew out all his air not realizing he had been holding it the entire time. He silently thanked God before getting up and also heading towards the bridge. Whoever this knew person was, he would have to thank them for keeping him alive.
And now, the story REALLY starts.
Someday I will mention what the censored part was, but not today. I'm proud of myself. I actually completed a story and this whole thing is over 1000 words! Goal reached and surpassed. But yeah, review, favorite, follow, whatever. Also it may be a while until the next update. In the meantime,
U will nvr know signing out.