Cadillac Song
Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis or Cadillac Song
Ridin round in my Cadillac, thinkin bout the day that I first saw you.
Nothin compares to what we had & baby that won't change.
I want youuuuuuu babe. I still want youuuuuu baby. I still want, you.
I wrote the lyrics down in my diary after a very stressful day. I hadn't stopped listening to that song since we broke up. It described everything, it was so relatable. Except for the Cadillac part.
Everyday, right after school, I would go straight to my room, come down for dinner, then go back in there. I isolated myself.
From what my housemates told me he did the same thing.
I would only really talk to Amber & Patricia. Mara & Joy when they would occasionally come in to check on me. Every time they asked how I was doing I said that same thing.
"I'm fine," with a small, fake smile attached.
The guys would come to ask how I was as well, Eddie would try to make me laugh while Alfie would always bring up aliens in the conversation. Even Jerome tried to make me feel better. I appreciated their effort.
Summer days with my honey, worried 'bout not a thing. Back in the day when things were easier than the breeze. Who knew that kiss was the last one, I never thought we would change...
I hated fighting. Hated it. We weren't even having problems. One day we were fine. Perfect, even. Then the next day...yeah. Just completely out of nowhere.
I spent the first week just crying. Crying when I woke up until I cried myself to sleep at night.
Amber would do everything she could to try & comfort me, but it didn't really help.
...baby I'm missin youuuuu.
I wanted things to go back to normal more than anything. How can you go from being best friends, to boyfriend & girlfriend, to breaking up & hating each other?
Well, I didn't hate him. And I don't think he hates me either. That's just how it felt.
Ah we shoulda been forever but we fell apart, might've separated but you took my heart, always knew I wasn't really over us, & sometimes, I catch myself...
It was the dumbest fight you could've ever imagined. To be honest I don't even remember why we broke up. Something about a rumor & I thought something & then he thought something, & there was fighting & yelling & tears, I don't know. It just kind of happened. I tried to block out as much as I could but it was all I could think about for weeks.
I can't even be in the same room as him. Going to dinner every night is hard enough, but having to go to school? Sometimes I would pretend to be sick so I didn't have to face him. Trudy knew what happened so she would let me get away with it.
I sat by Amber in all of my classes & she stayed by my side.
We tried to fix things. Kind of. At first, whenever I tried to talk to him about it, he'd just push me away. He wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. Amber kept pushing me to keep trying but after a while, I just stopped. Then a few days after I had stopped, he tried. But I did the same thing he did to me. I pushed him away. Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
Memories last forever, so how could I just forget? Made everything from nothing cause time was all we spent.
Changing the dumb, little things was hard too. Taking down pictures from my wall, crossing out "N+F=3" in all of my school notebooks. Even changing his name in my phone from "Fabes" with a bunch of heart & ring emoji's to "Fabian Rutter" hurt.
I thought about deleting all of the pictures on my phone, but I just couldn't. They were good memories. They reminded me of all the fun times we had together from the beginning. I don't regret it at all, I just wish it didn't end the way that it did.
We're no longer "Fabina" & even though hearing that would annoy me after a while, I was slowly starting to miss it.
Ah we shoulda been forever but we fell apart, might've separated but you took my heart, always knew I wasn't really over us, & sometimes, I catch myself...
It's almost been two months & it's not getting any easier. If anything, it just keeps getting harder. People keep telling me "time heals all" & things like that but it doesn't help. The constant reminder that I'm not his anymore & he isn't mine.
I think I'm most worried that we won't be able to become friends again. There's too much tension, when their really shouldn't be.
He was different. He is different. That's why it hurts so much. Fabian's special. He's sweet & caring. We were always there for each other. I trusted him the most & knew I could count on him for anything. Sure I've had boyfriends when I was younger before I came to the house, but I was never really in love with them. Fabian's my first love, & knowing that we aren't together anymore kills me.
Ridin round in my Cadillac, thinkin bout the day that I first saw you.
Nothin compares to what we had & baby that won't change.
I want youuuuuuu babe. I still want youuuuuu baby. I still want, you.
Well that was sad. I think this is the only thing I've written where it doesn't end with a happy ending. It's kinda weird lol. My freshman year I went through some things with one of my closest guy friends & I just kind of took all of that & put it into a story to try to get my feelings out. So yeah. Review & let me know what you think. :-)