In this one-shot Dipper has Schizophrenia.
(OwO what's this?? This is also on my wattpad)
Hopefully you enjoy!
Age- 18
Dipper's P.O.V.
I sat reading my favorite book, focusing intently on it, specifically the eighth chapter, which I am currently reading. Books are one of the only things I can focus on for a long period of time. I don't know how I keep up good grades in school, or how in the hell I seem to be slightly above average in intelligence. My focus is hard to come by, even if I put a lot of effort into it.
After all, it's hard to focus when—
"Bitch, what are you going on about this time?"
"Who said that?"
"Stop! Stop! Stop!"
"You're worthless."
Having Schizophrenia makes me feel like I am inferior. I feel like I can't be what others want, nor do I feel like I'm a use to the world. I wish I could be. I let out a sigh and dropped my legs from the side of my bed. I pushed myself to the floor, deciding it was finally time to get myself ready for the day. I was seeing my friend, (Y/N), who I've known since freshman year. We grew pretty close, but during sophomore and junior year, our interactions declined. I think the main problem was her boyfriend, whom I have never liked all that much. He made my skin crawl and he'd always look at me. Maybe the feeling she gives me made me dislike him so much. I felt like he took away the one I love.
Fortunately, they broke up a week ago. It made me happy to be spending more time with her. She is someone I could see being with in my future, but it's not like anyone wants to put up with my paranoia or delusional bullshit. That doesn't matter; senior year is quickly becoming one of my better years. I pray today will be a normal day with her, and I'll grow even closer with her. I can't believe how desperate I am for her, but she's the only girl I've ever felt this way about.
Anyways, I stood and slugged to my closet, finding a flannel and a gray shirt. I grabbed a pair of dark blue jeans, and a couple etceteras of clothes I won't name, before I headed off to the bathroom. I put on a playlist, got undressed, and jumped into the shower. The best thing about showering has to be the loud music, it dulls the noise of everything around it. I like loud music because it gives me something to put my focus on. I also love the feeling of the warm water cascading down my back. The heat calms my nerves.
Once I got out, I combed my damp hair, brushed my teeth, and put on deodorant, all things I'd sometimes forget to do on a daily basis. I glanced into the mirror, and silently reminded myself to open it. Behind was a medicine cabinet, containing my prescription. A daily routine that I didn't always want to do, but forced myself into. I figure for today, it would be beneficial for me to take it. While putting on my clothes, I hummed a little to my music.
Within the hour, (Y/N) came to my door, the doorbell rang loudly in my ears, and for a few seconds I doubted it was her. For all I knew, it could be a hitman, or an FBI agent, here to arrest me. I saw (Y/N) in her normal attire, black jeans and converse with a change in shirt and jacket. Today, she wore an unbuttoned flannel. She smiled as she stepped inside. I smiled in return, and felt her hand slowly slide into mine. I looked in the kitchen to see Mabel watching us. I gave her a cold gaze, as my twin new she'd make my skin crawl if she stared at me forever and a day.
We stepped into my room, and (Y/N) came to sit on my bed. She didn't care for the messiness, it didn't bother her. I smiled and joined her on the blue sheet. "How's your break going for you?" She inquired as she relaxed.
I shrugged and laid on my back, "alright, you?"
"Good, I got some of my homework done already." We laid close to one another, and I am glad we can have this. "I made that edit too." She added in addition to pulling out her phone. I scooted closer and adjusted the way I was sitting so her screen was visible. My eyes lit up as she played it. "So good." I commented and smiled. I got my phone and turned it on, "send that to me."
"Kay," she replied, pursing her lips.
"Have you made anything else this week?"
"Nah, I've been too lazy, and Netflix pleaded me to stay up twenty seven hours and binge." She told me, laughing as she did so.
"I haven't done that in a while, got any good shows you'd like to recommend to me?" I inquired and sat on my stomach, glancing down at her. Her (h/l) (h/c) spread out from the side of her head, resting gently on my bed.
We spent most of our time talking, not all conversations I could recall, but I enjoyed every second none the less. I've always enjoyed talking to her better than anyone. We played old games on the Wii, not my favorite 'retro' gaming console, but it could make for a fun time. We played Mario Kart and battled for the win. "If I get hit and you pass me I'm going to scream." She announced as she focused on the race. However, I was having a harder time. On the outside, I looked like a normal person playing a video game, but it was far from it.
"Come here a second."
"The winner is Toad, don't let him win, or they'll find you. Get ahead of him."
"Shut up."
"Hey, are you listening."
"Kill her."
I stopped and dropped the controller. My hands clasped my ears. I curled into a ball, pulling in my legs. (Y/N)'s arms curled around me, and I shoved her away in fear. I scurried to the corner of the bed, getting away. I began to panic. "Dipper..."
"Use the controller, the cord of the plug."
"No..." I whispered, barely audible.
"Kill her."
I shook my head violently, and I stood up, rushing off into the bathroom. I locked the door and saw (Y/N) running after me. I heard her smash into the door, and she slid down to the floor. I sat criss-cross on the bathroom floor. Episodes like this are rare. Every day I'm paranoid that I'm being watched, and I hear unreal things, but homicidal episodes aren't often. Not all Schizophrenic patients have them, but I was unlucky to be in the minority with the extra symptoms. With medication, they've almost vanished, but the fact remains. This is the first one I've had in five months. I'm just...
Why did it have to be now!?
"Dipper, are you okay? I'm here." She muffled through the door. My eyes unfocused and I heard her voice clearly, so I calmed a little. I blinked, and my arm moved to the door with hesitation. I was scared I'd do something to her once the door was open.
When I opened the door, and tackled her in a hug on the ground. "I'm sorry." Tears slipped from my eyes, and I dampened her clothes. She put her arms around me and went silent. The feeling she gave me was all I needed to bounce back. Her arms wrapped around me and she rubbed my back. I sighed, but I enjoyed her calmness. I was able to stop freaking out, and I found something to focus on.
Time had passed, until a quiet voice was in my ear. "Let's finish our game."
We went into my room, and began to play once again. I ended up winning the game, and (Y/N) tackled me. She poked at my sides and I cried out laughing. "How dare you beat me?" She inquired as her weight moved on top of me. I laughed and got away. Suddenly, she stopped. "Dipper, are you okay? Did you take your medicine today?" She asked me softly.
My eyes widened as she asked. I turned away blushing. "I didn't think you'd remember about my medicine..."
"Why?"
"You and I grew apart, so I just figured you'd just forget those things about me..."
She looked in my eyes. "Dipper, I wouldn't forget."
"I couldn't talk to you most of the time."
"Does this have to do with Aaron?"
"You dated him, and he guarded me from you.. he made me, he- I hate him." Her arms curled around me again, and I felt bad. She dealt with my stupidity, my constant mood swings, my irritability. I sighed and leaned into her. I can't explain this feeling. I put my arms around her, and I couldn't stay quiet for a millisecond longer. I don't know why my feelings have to come out now, but it needs to finally be said.
"(Y/N), I love you."
She pulled back, and her face turned red. "Where did that come from?"
"I love you.."
"You mean that?" She said and looked up in my eyes. I nodded and sighed. "I just... it was hard for me, and I thought I would loose you as a friend. I'm glad that we got to hang out today, despite my illness."
"No, Dipper.. I don't care. Aaron and I broke up because he was too controlling. I fell in love with you Dipper, and I'm sorry I made you feel like that. You being ill doesn't change how I feel." She whispered and reached for my face.
"I know, I'm sorry.. I shouldn't push my feelings on you."
Our eyes met, her (e/c) gaze pouring into my brown ones. Next, our lips met. Her lips were soft against mine. I put my hands to her cheeks, and she laughed a little. I couldn't help but giggle as well. When we pulled away I bit my lips. She saw my nervousness and held me close. "You'll be okay You're smart and I can't believe how kind and sweet you are." She muttered, combing my hair, just like we used to. I blushed and slowly fell asleep.
I don't remember having dreams, but I woke up to (Y/N) curling into me. I kissed her cheek, and saw her smile. "Thank you..." I muttered and pressed against her. "You're so warm, can we stay like this for a while?" I inquired and glanced at her shaded face. "Kay." She replied while snuggling closer. "I want to say I'm sorry from earlier, I just wish I could help you when you're sad and-"
"Dipper if you don't shut up I'll have to kiss you."
Her lips met mine, and I blushed brightly. "We're dating now." I told her, making her smile. "Fine by me." She muttered and sighed happily. "You never once talked to me about any kind of crush, so I assumed your Schizophrenia gave you too much to worry about. I never thought you'd be interested in dating. That's why I dated Aaron, to get my mind off you. I thought you didn't like me."
"No, I love you." I replied and chuckled. We both smiled, and kissed again, until (Y/N) fell asleep in my arms. My heart raced and for once I was able to have nice thoughts. Maybe I am good for something after all... God I never want this feeling to end. Wherever our lives lead us after high school, I know for sure we'll go together, no matter how bad it gets.
End
Hope you enjoyed