Notes: This fic is a response to a banner prompt by dhfreak on the chlollie Live Journal community. If you'd like to see the beautiful banner you can go to my live journal page. The link is on my author page.
"There you are," Chloe sighed with relief at finally seeing Oliver. She turned her eyes towards the long expanse of granite wall and frowned. "My feet are done. If Bart wasn't the one getting married I would have sent him to run around and find you." Taking a few steps forward she stopped on the other side of the wall and propped her arms on top of it. "I thought you might have left."
"Propriety obligates me to stay until they cut the cake," he said evenly, never glancing over at her.
"I'm sure it would be understood if you left." He shook his head and continued to stare ahead. For a moment she considered tilting her head to the side, forcing him to meet her eyes, but instead she looked on ahead, watching the couples dancing, children running in-between pairs of legs, giggling. "You can't be surprised. You knew she would be here."
"Alone I suspected."
Chloe sighed and wondered if that was why he had come alone. Oliver Queen never went alone anywhere unless it was by choice, there were no shortages of dates for an attractive billionaire. Years ago he would have walked in, flaunting the hottest little thing he could have put his hands on, just to impress everyone and show his ex that he could have anyone he wanted. The man standing in front of her now, he wasn't like that. "It wasn't very long," Chloe admitted.
"Six weeks," he said harshly, showing anger for the first time, and then tucking it away again.
"You said it was bound to end," Chloe reminded him gently, trying not to sound reproachful about it.
"I know that." Oliver responded sharply. "That doesn't mean I'm still not burned by it. It doesn't mean I want to see her prancing around with another guy like nothing happened."
For a while she didn't respond, they only stood in companionable silence while she thought over his reaction. Chloe didn't doubt for a minute he was still broken up over the end of his relationship with Dinah. Breaking up was hard regardless, but she wasn't sure he quite had as much of himself invested in the relationship as he had originally. But she also suspected that some of his anger and hurt was more superficial. It turned out he was still a bit that Oliver Queen she used to know. "And the argument?" He sighed, and for a moment she though he might not confide in her, but he did.
"Same old fight. Then she told me I was an over bearing asshole for expecting her not to move on and then hating her for it when she did." He glanced at the blonde to his left, taking in her profile and feeling a familiar twinge. "Then as usual she had to jab the knife in a little further, adding that I was free to be single again. What I always wanted."
"Was it?" Chloe asked without thinking and turned to him.
"I hadn't-" He stopped to correct himself. "We hadn't been really happy for a while now." Her green eyes made him uncomfortable and he turned away. He always found himself staring into them longer then was necessary. "Chloe when we-"
"Oliver, I don't think now is the time," she began quickly, hoping to cut him off. The last thing she wanted to do was rehash an uncomfortable situation.
"It wasn't the time then," he added before continuing. "It was a mistake; when I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that, and even though I knew it meant it was the beginning of the end for Dinah and me I still tried to make it work with her." He looked at her again, but this time she was looking down into her folded hands.
"Just because it was dying out doesn't mean it was okay," Chloe said softly, feeling the renewed guilt. It was just a kiss, a stolen kiss taken after he had saved her life, initiated by him in a moment of panic and ended by him seconds later. But for a brief moment she had responded. Then they stared at one another, shock on both their faces, and it was never spoken of again. That had been over a year ago. "You cared enough for her to try for a year; you should have cared enough to know better." She could see him turn away from her again and stare out into the darkness behind her. "So should I."
He'd meant to make sense of feelings for Chloe that had been clawing to the surface once Dinah was officially gone from his life. All it had done was serve as a reminder that he was still a philanderer, not as much as when he was younger and now with more guilt, but still the same. He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to be rid of the negative feelings left behind by Dinah and the growing ones for Chloe. "It wasn't your fault." It was all he could say, because he had no excuse, the least he could do was try to relieve her of her own guilt and pile it on to his own.
"Your actions don't control my own," she said evenly, and then slumped slightly, "or how I feel," she whispered softly.
"So in one night I've managed to make my situation with Dinah worse and make her even more bitter towards me and create another uncomfortable situation with you." He should move somewhere, far, far away where there are no women. "I think I've managed to ruin any real female relationship I've ever had."
"You didn't ruin anything with me Oliver and you have Mia," Chloe said off handedly and he laughed, but she could hear the lack of humor in it.
"That doesn't count." And she must have agreed, because she said nothing. The silence was painful, making the fact that she stood so near to him, just out of reach, even more obvious. Bowing his lower he rested his forehead over the back of his crossed hands and closed his eyes, trying to ignore her presence beside him.
"It will get better."
"No it won't." Because he had actually believed he had a chance with Dinah. "Being with Dinah was going to be different. She knew everything, it should have worked. She understood. At least I thought she did. And if I can't make that work, make it work with a woman that knew all my secrets and still accepted me, then I don't think it will get better. I don't think there is any chance."
It was the defeated tone in his voice that pushed aside her feelings of discomfort. "Yes there is." She turned and looked over at his blond spiky head. "You aren't perfect Oliver, but you're a good person, you know that. You've done more good than most could do in a lifetime."
"It doesn't change the bad Chloe."
"It does for me," she said firmly and dropped her hands from the wall and turned her body to face him, even though he still wasn't looking at her. "You made mistakes, did things that weren't right, but no one could argue they weren't in response to how much you'd lost, how much you'd been put through. If you didn't come out of all this slightly warped then you wouldn't be human. Maybe Dinah did understand or maybe she didn't, it doesn't matter. Like you said, it was bound to end. That may have had nothing to do with your past, your secrets, or the things you'd done. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
"It's never going to be meant to be," he said with conviction, fully believing now that after losing so many woman he thought he loved that he was bound to fail in that respect. "It's a pattern for me, hurting people I love, screwing it up."
She sighed angrily and stepped in front of him, grabbing his cheeks in her hands and lifting his head up so that he was looking at her. The pain in his brown eyes was evident, and she was having none of it. "I know how that feels, to believe it is never going to happen, it's scary. And I know how it feels to believe that you only hurt the people you love, that you will always screw it up with them. But Oliver the only way I was able to climb out of that hole I dug myself in was to make myself believe that wasn't true. If you start believing you're alone and there is no hope for any type of relationship then you won't ever find it." To see it in his eyes, that emptiness, pain, and fear that she had been so accustomed to hiding, her heart broke for him. Without even thinking she bent her head forward and kissed his forehead. It was meant to be comforting to him, but she couldn't help but feel a bit of warmth herself.
When she moved to pull away he caught one of the hands she rested against his face and pressed his forehead against her own. "I hate it that you always know the right thing to say to me," he whispered softly, voice thick with the emotion from his loss and the ache for something more within him. She smiled almost shyly in response and he felt that familiar pull again, drawing him towards her slowly. Her eyes fluttered closed and he moved his hands to cup her cheek, and just as his lips brushed against her own she inhaled sharply, pulling back just inches and snapping her eyes open. With a groan he dropped his head, his cheek brushing against her hair at the side of her face. "I'm sorry." Yet even as he said it, his palms never left her face.
She didn't respond, not even sure how to. Telling him she didn't feel that way would have been an obvious lie, and telling him that it was wrong made her sound immature considering she had kissed him back once and had almost let him kiss her a second time. The problem was, she suspected things wouldn't get easier. "I know you're alone," she began softly, "but don't fall for the first girl you see. Just take some time Oliver. You'll find the woman that understands you. Who trusts you, believes in you. She'll fight for you and be strong enough to be your equal."
"Has it worked for you?" He turned his head in slightly to her neck, his nose brushing her hair, and praying she didn't realize it.
"No," Chloe admitted. "But I'm sure it will. And that's beside the point." Gently she slid her hand from his cheek to comb her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "You aren't meant to be alone Ollie. And when you least expect it the right woman will be standing there, right in front of you and you won't have even seen it coming." She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the way her heart constricted as she prepared herself to break away. Turning her head just slightly she pressed a kiss to his cheek, feeling the stubble beneath her lips and being reminded just how close they were at that moment.
It wasn't right, and he should have pulled away, but he could feel the finality of her statement. So in desperation, he did what he told himself he wouldn't. He brushed blonde strands from her cheek, weaving his fingers through her hair and holding it away from her ear. "Neither are you," he whispered softly, lowered his head, and pressed his lips just beyond her ear. In response she inhaled sharply, but that was it, and then within moments her hands slid from him and she was stepping back. The loneliness flooded back to him in seconds, shocking him like cold water, making him realize that for a moment she had chased it away.
"Go home Ollie," she said gently while doing her best not to show the effect he had had on her with just a few simple shows of affection. "Get some sleep, then back to work tomorrow."
She smiled warmly at him, and he suspected she was trying to be comforting, but it was like seeing something he couldn't have. He had always been able to keep his affections for her in check, and he suspected it was his depressed state that was making it so easy for him to want to ignore any repercussions that would be caused by chasing her. But if he ruined what he had with her, then he'd have no one left.
Chloe turned, leaving the way she had come, determined to walk to her car and forget what had just happened between them. It wasn't right, and in the long run it would only wind up hurting them both. So she shook away the thoughts of possibilities, but not before turning and looking behind her one more time.
That was how there relationship was, a strong friendship and work relationship, intermingled with spontaneous moments where they knew it could be more. There were many reasons that it hadn't happened over the past few years. Clark, Lois, Jimmy, Dinah, disagreements between them that had spanned months. Yet even when all of those reasons weren't equations anymore she still walked away. He knew why. Not only was he fresh off of his break up with Dinah, but his track record wasn't very promising. Chloe wouldn't allow herself to be put into the position to be hurt by him. And even if he could have proved to her eventually that he wouldn't screw it up, he knew they were both too scared to ruin the last truthful relationship they had.
His mind had been made up again as the distance spanned between them. It was a fluke. It was impossible, and he was grateful that she stepped away when she did. As he watched her walk away he had himself halfway convinced of that fact when she suddenly turned her head, her eyes meeting his again as she stepped further into the darkness. His chest constricted at the look, making it incredibly difficult to breathe. It wasn't going away. In fact, he knew now that within the next few months it would only get worse. There was nothing stopping him now not Lois, Clark, Jimmy, Davis, Tess, only the shadow of Dinah, and that to in time would disappear, leaving Chloe standing there, right in front of him, as she had been the entire time.