"…chess is actually a really interesting game and I think you'll…" James Tiberius Kirk trailed off when His friend and CMO Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, shushed him.

"Some of my stuff was moved around." Bones whispered in explanation. Jim, Bones, and their Vulcan friend Spock, stiffened and began creeping slowly into the room.

"Hey guys!" A chipper voice stated from behind the three officers, who all jumped (except for Spock because he's a Vulcan and he doesn't do that stuff.)

"SHIT YOU SCARED ME!" Bones shouted.

"You are acquainted with this female?" Spock questioned, ever so logically.

"Psh, Spock! Of course he knows me! I'm, like, his bestest friend!" The mystery girl said, and jumped on Bones's back.

"Get off! I'm a doctor, not a mule!" He cried as he chucked the girl off of his back.

"Who is she, Bones?" Jim asked.

"I'm Jamie! And I decided it was time for me to break the fourth wall with more than one member of the cast!" She said with a huge, semi-scary grin. Bones rolled his eyes.

"Huh?" Jim said confused.

"Um, actually can you just kind of all forget what I said about that? Yeah, okay cool. Anyways, I found something on the internet I wanted to show you guys!" She told them, grabbing Jim and Bones's hands and then bounded over to McCoy's desk, which was now occupied by a MacBook.

"This is some sort of ancient computer of sorts." Spock observed logically while Jamie booted it up (which took like 2 seconds because Mac's BEAST!)

"Okayy, do you want to see the video or the story first? I'm gonna go with the video, kay cool." She babbled as she pulled up Youtube. "Hm, Spirk, McKirk, McSpock, or all three?" She questioned.

"What is Spirk?" Jim asked innocently as he peered over her shoulder at the ancient machine which appeared to be in perfect condition.

"OH MY GOD YES!" She shouted as she clicked on a video titled Star Trek + Nine Inch Nails = Closer. A solid beat came though the speakers as the singer sang very explicit lyrics that were coupled with film of Kirk and Spock. When it was finished, she turned to see their reactions. Bones looked disgusted but trying not to laugh, and Spock was a bit green around the edges. Jim blinked for a moment, then wiggled his eyebrows at Spock, who arched one in return.

"BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING WATCH THIS!" She clicked on a link which brought onto the screen a video called The Backrub Scene. McCoy was laughing his ass off, Spock was a deep shade of green, and Jim was pissed.

"Who got into the security files?!" He shouted. Spock spoke to clarify to the best of his abilities. (Spock spoke. Say that five time fast!)

"Captain, she mentioned something about the fourth wall earlier-"

"No, I didn't." Jamie interrupted.

"-so it is logical to assume-"

"No, it's not."

"-that we are on a show-"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

"-known to 21st century humans as Star Trek-"

"20th actually, and NO IT'S NOT!! YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE WATCHING AMOK TIME NOW, SPOCK!" Angrily, she pulled an iPod (cuz Apple BEASTS) out of her pocket, played with it for a moment, hen handed it to Spock. "You sit in that corner and watch that until I tell you to stop! Now go!" Spock dutifully began watching. His face almost immediately turned a shade of forest green that looked unnatural even for a Vulcan.

"I definitely don't want to see anything with ME in it." Bones told her.

"That's okay because I have the greatest Fan Fiction for you to read ever! Lemme pull it up." After a bit more clicking, she had brought up a page with a story on it titled The Leaves on the Trees by Mrs. SpockKirkMcCoyScott. "Read." McCoy flopped into her recently vacated chair and started reading, Jim leaning over his shoulder to do the same. Jim finished first, and spoke.

"We should try that sometime, Bones!!" He said gleefully. Bones looked up with a cross of humiliation, disgust, and rage on his face (which was a spectacular shade of crimson, just BTW).

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!"

So sometimes a girl needs to write some crack. I was in a mood (AKA CRACK! w00t!) and I read that story, which is naughty naughty but veryy good. Is threesome between Kirk Spock and McCoy. Obviously our good ol' country doctor would throw a hissy after reading it. All the youtube vids exist too. I enjoy them. So yeah I don't own Star Trek, any of the videos I mentioned, Youtube, Fanfiction, Apple and it's products (oh god I wish), or the amazing story by Mrs. SpockKirkMcCoyScott. So yeah bye.