Petunia Dursley flung open the front door the moment the doorbell rung. "Vernon," she called over her shoulder. "They're here! Finally!" She turned and smiled at her visitors. "Oh, I thought you'd never get here!" she cried. "We've been waiting all day! What kept you?"

If her son, Dudley, had thought this overjoyed greeting was for him, he was sadly mistaken. Petunia only had eyes for the five-year-old boy slung over Dudley's shoulder like a sack. "Sorry, Mum." Dudley grinned. "Evan wouldn't put on his shoes."

Evan squirmed until Dudley sat him down. "Uh-uh. Dad lost the car keys." Evan reached his hands out to Petunia. "Gramma!"

His feet had barely touched the floor before Petunia whisked her grandson up and swung him around. She remarked on how tall Evan had gotten in the past few weeks and then started on a list of sickeningly sweet pet names; the kind she had inflicted on Dudley in his youth. Highlights of these nicknames included "Evvie-Wevvie" and "Evkin."

"Well, come into the sitting room. Tea will be ready in a moment."

Aunt Petunia, still holding tight to Evan, led the way out of the foyer. Dudley trailed along behind her. Evan's face peeked out from Petunia's shoulder. He gave his father a look that said, I'm getting something out of this right? A new toy? Or at the very least, a cookie?

Dudley offered a slight smile. If you behave yourself.

They walked into the sitting room, where Dudley's father, Vernon, was immersed in reading the newspaper.

"Where's Gianna?" asked Petunia as she settled Evan into a chair by the coffee table next to Vernon. Evan looked relieved to be released. Vernon, still reading the paper, ruffled Evan's hair. "I thought you said she was coming, too." Petunia's tone was stiff and polite, the way she always was when forced to talk about Dudley's wife.

"She'll be here," Dudley told his mother as he took a seat as well. "She got called into work this morning, but she said she'd make it here by three."

Petunia pursed her lips, but didn't otherwise comment. After a moment she said, "I'll go and fetch the tea."

"Milk for Evan," Dudley reminded her.

Petunia smiled. "I know."

Once she was out of the room, Evan slid off his chair and announced he needed to "use the toilet."

"All right, but make it quick. Otherwise you'll miss the food," Dudley said.

Evan nodded then tottered from the room, a look of mischief on his face.

Petunia returned to the sitting room with a tray of tea, milk, and sandwiches but Evan still hadn't come back from the bathroom.

"He's been in there an awfully long time, hasn't he?" Vernon pointed out in between bites of sandwich.

Before Dudley could respond, a loud thud resonated throughout the house.

Dudley rose out of his chair and was out of the room before Petunia or Vernon could move. Dudley made his way out of the sitting room, down the hallway and outside the bathroom door in less than ten quick strides, but the short walk felt like an eternity. His parents were making their way down the hallway as well, moving slower in their old age.

"Evan?" Dudley called. "Are you all right? Did you knock something over?"

"I'm fine!" Evan cried out. "Dad! Dad! You've got to see this; it's incredible! You won't believe it!" Evan's voice was full of awe. "Open the door!"

Dudley slowly opened the door. His jaw dropped at the sight. The moment he registered what he was looking at, he slammed the door shut again. He could not let his parents see this.

He turned to Vernon and Petunia. "He's okay, but a little embarrassed." Dudley forced himself to sound calm. "I'll take care of it. Go back to lunch. We'll join you in a few minutes."

His parents exchanged confused glances but they turned around and went back to their tea and sandwiches.

Dudley took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door again. It was chaos. Bars of soap raced each other across the floors and walls. A bottle of Windex and a bottle of Tilex were floating near the ceiling, spraying each other as if they were fighting. Shampoos, conditioners, and liquid soaps were spraying all over the shower. And finally, Petunia's tweezers and nail clippers were dancing in the sink.

Evan sat sprawled on the bathroom floor, a look of wonder spread across his face. "How is this happening?" he asked.

Dudley sank on to floor to sit with his son. He sat on his hands to keep them from shaking. "You're making it happen," Dudley said after a few moments.

"Am I dreaming?" Evan asked.

"I actually kind of hope so," said Dudley. "But it's not likely."

My son is a wizard. My son is a wizard. Just like Harry. This is going to kill my parents.