Wolverine
When Brendan is untimely called into work, Ste wanders aimlessly through a toy store looking for a birthday present for Lucas' fourth birthday. Alone and distracted, he stumbles upon a figurine of the popular character, and thinks back to a film night with Brendan. One-Shot. Happy Stendan. Rated T for minor suggestive adult themes.
Enjoy.
"Sorry, it's important. Ring me when you're done and I'll come back to pick you up, yeh?" Brendan shoved his phone back into his jeans pocket as I sighed.
Today was supposed to be some kind of momentous event, shopping for Lucas' birthday present together, for the first time since we'd declared ourselves as being in an 'actual relationship'. It was never declared, so to speak, but the sentimentality of this occasion didn't mean any less. Obviously it meant more to me than it did to him.
"Yeh, alright. So, I'll see ya later?" I spoke softly. He squeezed a hand around my wrist as a silent apology, turned his back to me and I watched him walk away, before turning slowly on my heels and wandering in the opposite direction.
I don't feel rejected by him, it's just that sometimes he has a way of making his priorities blurred. 'I'm gonna give you the life you deserve from now on,' he'd endlessly promised. I know being left alone in a toy store was hardly the punishment of a lifetime, but this was supposed to be a joint effort, to show Amy that Brendan really did care about going that extra mile with the kids; so far as to be seen with me in a toy store shopping for my kids.
It disappointed me that his work always got in the way of something important, or even the trivial stuff. In ways, it was the trivial stuff that mattered most with Brendan; the small things that we saw as mile-stones. The hand holding on the sofa, which ended up in him being dragged away to fix a leaking pipe; or the peaceful walks in the park, Brendan and I side-by-side, hands brushing, but never really colliding, which ended up in Brendan being called in to change a barrel.
"Incompetent, the lot of them. Sorry Steven, I'll see you later," he'd excuse himself, with a chaste kiss to the lips. Then off he'd go, pulling himself away from me, seemingly without a care in the world.
I glanced at the masses of children's toys in front of me, all neatly stacked on the crowded shelves. I hadn't any clue what to buy him, he was only four. Four year-olds have personalities and attachments to characters, that a given, but, standing for a good ten minutes in front of this over-whelming aisle of commercialism, I couldn't wrack my brain to come up with a single idea.
"This is useless," I muttered under my breath. Bloody Brendan, always leaving me in the dust. It's my kid's birthday, I should know what to buy him in an instant, but all I could think about was Brendan. What was so important this time that that he'd had to leave me all alone in this migraine-inducing, colourful array of rubbish?
I continued to wander aimlessly down the aisle, staring at the crowds of memorabilia around me, attempting to push out the incessant thoughts of my ignorant other half from my mind. 'What's the point in complaining to yourself?' I thought, 'Just text him, ask him to come back.'
I continued on for a little while, deciding that texting him would be stupid. What would that do, other than make me look like some whiney child needing their parent with them on a trip to the toy store. It would look ridiculous. The other half of me felt into my pocket for my phone and pulled it out. I held it in my hand, contemplating a message that I could send him that didn't make me sound like an idiot. I unlocked the main screen, opened up my messages and started to type.
Miss you. Done yet? Avin trouble pickin summat out x
Delete.
Tryin think of summat. Come n help? X
Repeatedly backspace.
This is useless, Ste. Don't be such a twat. Get on with it.
Erase.
I groaned internally and looked up from the screen, my line of direction catching the blue and yellow colour tones before me. I smiled, a memory conjuring up in my mind.
Brendan was lounging on the sofa, legs stretched straight across the length of it, with his ankles crossed, and his hand comfortably cradling his head.
"Comfy, are we?" I asked. He looked up at me with one eye open, a half-smile creeping onto his lips. He stretched in his position, deep breath in a chest expanding. I stared on in wonderment of how perfect this moment was, just me and him.
"Takeaway for tea, yeh?" He nodded in response and closed his eyes again, sighing contently. "Put the DVD in lazy. And don't you even think of fallin' asleep on me in the middle!" His muffled, deep chuckle made my heart momentarily race, I glanced back at him as he yawned, covering his face with his arms.
"Coffee," he groaned, lifting himself up from his place on the sofa and manoeuvring around the coffee table to slip the DVD into the player. From my place in the kitchen, I heard him slump back into the sofa, another yawn escaping his lips.
I made my way back to the living room, a mug of coffee in both hands. I handed him his, as he yawned a thank you and I sat myself down next to him. We watched the adverts whilst trying to get comfy. Brendan bent his knee and rested it against the back of the sofa and I settled between his legs, my back resting against his torso. I gripped the warm coffee in both hands and breathed into the mug, watching the steam rise, and smiled contently to myself.
Finally, we had some alone time: just Brendan and I. It didn't happen often. Since Amy moved down to Manchester and she'd gotten her new job, it was difficult for her to have the kids overnight on a weekend. She came up to visit but would often have to leave early. I didn't mind, and neither did Brendan. He loved the kids. In the months we'd been living together he'd surprised me with how hard he worked to perfect his fatherly skills. He's had surprised himself how naturally it had come eventually, although I could see saddened him a little in ways. I suppose he'd wished it had been so easy with his own kids, that he'd been the best father he could be to the children in his life that mattered the most. Nevertheless, Leah and Lucas were smitten with their Daddy Brendan.
I'd been worrying about Lucas for a while. In the duration that Doug had lived in the flat, Lucas would switch off. I supposed he was just a bit young to understand strangers moving into his life. He was never rude to Doug, and he was never angry, just indifferent, like he didn't really want to acknowledge the change in his life. I worried that when Brendan moved in that he would be the same, but something about Brendan brought him out of his shell.
They'd become quite close in the more recent weeks. Brendan would bath the kids, put them to bed and read them a story. Lucas would call out for Daddy Brendan when he'd had a nightmare or when it was thundering; Leah would always call for me. Brendan reassured me that I would always be Lucas' number one, but their tight bond didn't worry me.
Every day that passed, Lucas looked more like me and acted more like Brendan. Brendan would fall asleep on the sofa when he came in from work in the afternoons and Lucas would crawl onto his chest and drift into a peaceful slumber. Brendan would move him to stand up, and end up rousing him, being forced to make him a cup of tea, in the special tea-cups, and put him to bed. Many a night I'd watch him place my sleeping son in his bed, sweeping his lengthening fringe from his face and cover him with a blanket, leaving the room with a smile on his face.
There were nights when I'd be awoken by the soft tones of Johnny Cash and find Brendan holding Lucas, who'd come running into the room after a nightmare, swaying slowly side to side, softening him to a more peaceful place of rest. I'd give him a loving kiss on his lips, smile at him sweetly and wander back to bed. He'd join me a few moments later, weary and lazy and fall asleep with his welcoming arms wrapped around my waist.
"How was work?" I asked, waiting for the last of the adverts to play. Brendan grunted.
"It was alright. Tiring," he yawned again. I passed him his coffee and he gulped down a mouthful. "You?"
"It were alright," I looked behind at him and we shared a loving smile. "Doug kept going on about sorting out the delivery," I rested my hand gently on his thigh, circling my thumb with a slight pressure. Brendan bit at his bottom lip. "But all I could think about were the fact that we've finally got some alone ti…" My speech was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Takeaway?" Brendan questioned.
"Nah, I an't even rang up yet." We both looked suspiciously at the door.
"Who the fuck'd be knocking at this time of night?" Brendan questioned. I moved myself from between his legs, allowing him to go and answer the door. I watched him as he sauntered there, tracky bottoms loose around his hips, sliding a little down his arse from where he'd been sitting. I noted the enticing movement of his shoulder blades as he walked. He was at his best like this, shirtless and beautiful. I bit back a groan.
The door opened and my two children came bounding in, wrapping their arms around each of my legs, a unison of "Daddy" like a chorus in my ears.
Brendan stared at Amy as if to say "What the fuck?" She smiled back innocently.
"I'll put the kettle on then, shall I?" he asked sarcastically.
"I can't stay long. I tried calling you Ste, mobile and the home phone. Thought you might have been in bed. I'd have left them with my dad but he wasn't feeling well…"
"I bet he wasn't," Brendan mumbled beneath his breathe. I ushered the kids from my legs and they sat down on the sofa where, mere moments before, I'd been cuddled up with my boyfriend. I walked over to Brendan and knocked him on the shoulder, indicating him to shut up. He sighed, rolled his eyes and went to sit down in his chair.
"I've been asked to go away for the weekend with the company, all-expense paid. It's a training course, in Majorca! I've got to go now. Traffic is manic and I'm taking an early plane to get there. Really sorry about this," she whispered, kissing me quickly on my cheek. "I'll call you when I land. Love you kids!"
"Bye mummy," they replied monotone. They were already lost in the wonderment of the DVD.
"Well, what are we supposed to do now then?" I went over the Brendan and perched on the arm of the chair. He shrugged and took in a deep breath.
"The kids seems to like the film."
"Yeh, well, Hugh Jackman's fit, inn't he?" I replied, elbowing Brendan softly in his arm.
"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow at me, raising his arm and flexing his bicep. "Why have hamburger when you can have steak?"
"Shurrup," I rested my hand on his bicep, pushing his arm down, feeling the muscular mass relax beneath my fingertips.
As I was about to stand up, I felt his strong hands around my hips, pulling me back into him. The shock of falling on to his lap knocking the wind from my lungs and I stared up at him in shock.
"In front of the children?" I whispered.
Brendan replied with a throaty chuckle and pulled me closer into him, his bare arms tightening around me. My lithe body moulded with his muscular form in a perfect juxtaposition. It shouldn't work, but it did, and it always would.
Silence ensued. The kid's eyes were glued firmly on the screen. I wondered if they should be watching this, especially Lucas. Then again, Brendan had wanted for them to watch The Godfather. Thankfully, he'd agreed that they should wait for a few years before seeing that film. Lucas was impressionable upon Brendan enough as it was.
"Daddy," Lucas began.
"Yes?"
"Daddy Brendan is bit like Wolfeween," he smiled towards us. Brendan chuckled behind me.
"What?" I leant forward on my knees, staring intently at Lucas.
"Wolfeween is strong, like Daddy Brendan. He protects people, like Daddy Brendan protects us." Lucas turned his head back to the TV screen, where a close-up on Hugh Jackman's face stared back at him. He grinned to himself.
"I want to be just like Daddy Brendan when I'm older," he whispered.
"See, Steven," Brendan beamed at me, relaxing further into the chair. His fingertips danced across the hem of my shirt, dipping below and lingering on my exposed hipbone. He bent forward to kiss the soft spot behind my ear, a mere breath causing a distinct pleasure to flash down my spine. "Steak."
"Excuse me sir?"
"Steak..."
Sir… Sir? Is everything okay?"
I snapped my head to the side to see a slightly worried store attendant standing beside me, confusion furrowing his eyebrows. Did I actually just say that out loud?
"Um, yeh. Yeh everything's okay."
"Right, well, can I help you with anything?"
"No, no. I'm fine thanks."
Just like that, I knew exactly what to buy. I glanced down at my hand, noticing my mobile was still securely in its place. I unlocked the screen to be greeted with a text message from Brendan.
Finished up here. You ready? - Brendan
I began to text back.
Yeh. Come fetch me. Meet you out front in ten x – Steven
On my way. – Brendan
I picked up what I needed with a beaming grin settled on my face, placed it in the over-sized trolley and made my way to the check out.
The sleek silver BMW drove up to the front entrance of the store. I threw all but one of the bags on to the back seat before climbing into the passenger's side. Brendan had his sunglasses on, obscuring his eyes, but I could sense him looking at me through the corners.
"Well, what ye been spending my money on then?" There was a hint of joking in his voice, the corners of his lips pulling up into an involuntary smirk.
"Both our wages go in the same place, I'll have you know." He pulled his sunglasses off slowly, folding the arms and resting them on the dashboard. I fished my hand inside the plastic bag that I had on my lap. "I got him this. Well, not just this, but that's the theme."
When I looked at him, there was a light in his eyes that reflected the blue and yellow of the plastic toy. His grin widened.
"This is so cool," he whispered under his breath.
"Right, don't go stealin' it off him. I bet you want one now, don't you?"
"Steven," he attempted to conceal the smile on his face. "I'm not a four-year-old. I don't want one."
"Are you sure?"
"I do not want the toy, Steven." There was a speck of disappointment in his tone.
"Well, I wonder what I'm gonna do with this then..." I pulled a second toy out of the bag, the same one as Brendan held in his hand.
He looked at me in amazement.
"Is that... for me?"
I nodded. We caught each others line of sight, a loving connection we found impossible to tear away from. The last time I'd seen him smile like this, so open and carefree, was the night in Dublin where we'd thrown away our morbid past to carve a new life together. He placed his hand over mine and slowly took the toy, putting Lucas' back on my lap.
"Thank you," he breathed, looking back up at me in wonderment, shaking his head to himself. "I love you."
"I love you too," I replied. I tucked Lucas' Wolverine toy safely back into the bag and reached into the bag to lay it with the rest.
"Not you," he stated, like it was obvious. "You," he unpacked his shiny, new plastic toy and set it down on the non-slip mat on his dashboard.
"Oh thanks!"
"I'm kidding," he laughed. He rolled his head back on to the headrest and looked sincerely at me. He rested his large hand on top of mine, which was rested on my knee.
"Don't ever say I don't know you," I mirrored his posture, turning my hand over so our palms were flat against each others. Our fingers entwined as he leant forward to kiss my lips softly.
"Better than I know myself," he breathed against my lips, planting a last kiss on the tip of my nose, letting go of my hand and changing gear. We pulled out of the car park with a radiant happiness filling the space around us, the Wolverine toy standing as a mile-stone in our ever-evolving life.
Thank you for reading.