A Mother's Love
During Butters Very Own Episode. But with a twist.
Dark and slightly depressing.
KennyXButters.
Character Death.
Matt and Trey own South Park.
"Butters, you know that Mommy loves you an awful lot, don't you?" her voice is robotic, calm, eerie, strained. She's been crying for this whole car ride. Her short blonde hair sticky with tears, her ice colored eyes bloodshot with smeared makeup caked underneath, her hands shake. Losing her steady grip on the wheel. I look at the white snow falling against the windshield of the car, I look anywhere but my mother.
"Butters." her voice is louder, but still eerily robotic. I speak up this time, hopefully settling her down.
"Yes mother, I hear you loud and clear." her breathing becomes battered. She laughs a bit, it's not calming, it's unsettling. Scary even. I shiver inwardly. She speaks further.
"Do you love mommy, Butters?" I turn to look at her. Her eyes are no longer locked on the road, rather then, right on my eyes, the car swerves her eyes don't leave my pale face. I may be seventeen but my 'baby face' hasn't disappeared. Apparently, my scared actions haven't left either.
"Of course I do, Mom. What makes you ask me that?"
"Your father doesn't. My husband chooses men over me. Do you like to see mommy hurt?" her voice shrinks back. Her hiccups start.
"Mom, I hate seeing you hurt.-"
"No, Butters, you hid a secret, you lied to mommy. I was okay with your father being in love with men, but not my baby boy." My throat closed up. At that moment, I realized. She knew. She fucking knew.
"Mom...how did you..." I eased my wording. She looked at the road again.
"I saw you kiss Kenny, Butters. I saw you sneak him in, I heard your footsteps on the soft carpeted steps. I heard you in your bedroom. The bed creaked. His cries echoing off yours, I heard you say for him to be quiet. I laid awake staring at the ceiling, and wondered if that's how your father felt. All those times he craved a men's touch over me. I wondered if you were the same way. Mommy knew something was wrong, you always were my special little man. Now I understand what was really wrong with you." her robotic tone taking on a quiet front, I couldn't face her. At this moment, I hated myself.
"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.." I whispered.
"You know, Butters, Sometimes mommies do things to hurt the ones they love. Only because they want them to be saved. They want them normal. You are no exception." Starks Pond comes into view. The ramp easing into the frozen waters is closer by the minute. The lock clicks on the doors, preventing escape.
"Mom.. oh god, don't!" her foot slams down on the gas. The rumbling of the wood underneath the car tires is all I can hear. My stomach lurches as the car submerges under water. Coming to the surface, but quickly sinking down. My mother's sitting there. Her hands locked on the ten and two position on the steering wheel. She stares at the rising water, as if nothing is happening.
"Mommy did this because she loves you." the car tips to her side. her head fully submerged in the water, air bubbles escape her lips. She's dying fast. Her eyes are open, begging to be helped. Finally the bubbles stop and she's limp against the restraint that supposedly saves a persons life.
My body reacts in a panic. The water is inches from my lips, as I slam my hand against the window. I unbuckle my seat beat, take a breath and swim towards the backseat, my oxygen is disappearing my throats burning, my eyes sting, the windows won't move. Now I know how Kenny feels on a weekly basis.
Life doesn't flash before my eyes, I don't list my regrets as one may think. What ever they tell you death feels like, isn't true.
I'm dying happy. I was true with myself, my sexuality, and my love for Kenny McCormick. My mother was a tortured woman, with many psychological issues. Her husband was a closeted homosexual, while her son was following close.
In the end she did save me. She saved my strength when I needed it the most. Whenever Kenny died, I was always there, and thanks to my mother, we'd always have each-other. Always and Forever.