It's about time I write a one-shot. I just need to break away from the writer's block I seem to have for all my stories. Typical Sam. By the way, this is supposed to be sad, but I don't know if it's sad or not.

Title: Never Ending Rain & Bloodied Hearts
Rated: +18 – for cross dressing & darkness & mentions of abuse &…doesn't anyone know me by now?
Summary: Where's my rainbow after the darkness is gone? ChipMUNK angst.
Genre: Angst/General

"You've cracked. I swear you've cracked." Matt watches as Phil twirls around in a black skirt, his thong peeking from underneath the flouncy skirt and he watches as Phil puts the sixth? seventh? twentieth? bottle of champagne to his pink lips.

"You've been saying that all day. Just go home."

"Can't."

"No. You can but you won't. Why, Matty? I can take you home right now!"

Matt grabs onto Phil's arm and pulls him back towards him. "You are not going out there! You look like a fucking transvestite!"

"Why do you care?" Phil snaps. "I don't need saving."

"Who said you need saving?"

"You're implying it. You refused to go to a party just because you had to sit here and watch me drink champagne, how stupid are you?"

"I'm not stupid. I just like watching you drink. And get high. Why'd you turn crazy again?"

"I did not turn crazy. I'm just done playing my damn role! I wanna be someone else. I guess I picked to be your brother 'cause you're following me like you follow him. Damn, I hate you."

"You are not playing a role. This is not a TV series."

"You're playing a role too."

"You're high. You're drunk. You have no idea what the hell you're saying."

Phil snorts before he takes out a cigarette from the pocket of the skirt and he lit it up quickly and Matt grabs onto the cigarette and shakes his head. "You're already drunk. You're already high. You wanna smoke too?"

"Give it back!"

"No!"

"I'm telling!"

"You hate me."

"Don't you dare pull that innocent act on me."

"Give it!" Matt hears a voice and it distracts him for a moment as Phil snatches the cigarette from Matt's hand and takes a long drag. "And you're straightedge?"

"What's straightedge?"

Matt smacks himself on his forehead. "I swear I don't even know you anymore."

"I don't know who I am either."

"Phil? Why?"

"Why what?"

"Who did this to you?"

"Are you drunk? Nothing happened to me!"

Matt grabs onto Phil's wrist, causing Phil to come to a halt.

"Let go!"

"Tell me who the hell did this to you!"

"The imaginary fairy in my dreams did this to me! Now, let go of me! You don't control me, Hardy!"

"Phil, you're in a skirt."

"So?"

"I'm not letting you outside!"

"Who cares? You're not the boss of me! I can do whatever I want!"

"You're drunk. You're high. You're smoking."

"Stop saying that!"

"Phil…"

"It's raining."

"So?"

"I like rain. You know, there's always a rainbow after the darkness?"

"Yeah, yeah, it amuses five year olds, too."

Phil has finally felt Matt loosen his grip and Phil finally gets out of the grip and walks towards the door but Matt holds onto Phil's waist.

"I'm not letting go."

"Why are you following me, Hardy? Leave me alone! I don't need a savior."

"I'm not saving you."

"You're pretending as if I'm like Cinderella and you're my prince. Leave me alone, prince. And please, lose a couple of pounds while you're at it."

"This is why you don't have any friends."

"I don't need friends, Hardy!"

"Phil."

"Don't say my name."

"Whose name do you want me to say? Punk? Is that what everyone calls you?"

"It's my role name."

"Enough of this 'I'm playing a role' shit."

"You're playing—"

"I know, I know, I'm playing a role too. I'm having so much fun too. If you go outside, I'm gonna butcher you."

"I'm not a kid. You don't control me."

"Yet you stand there and listen to me."

"'Cause I like you."

Matt's about to ask him what he means by that but Phil presses his mouth towards Matt's, a passionate, heated kiss that makes Matt wrap his arms around Phil's waist.

"You like me too, Hardy."

"I do not."

"Then why'd you kiss me?"

"'Cause it's fun and besides, you taste bitter."

"I'm bitter."

"Phil?"

"Hmm?"

"You go outside, and I swear I'll kill you."

"'Cause I'm wearing a skirt? You don't like it?"

"No. I hate it."

"If you hate my skirt, does that mean you hate me?"

"I don't hate you."

"Then why do you hate my skirt?"

"I can't like all of you."

"There. You admit it! You like me!"

"You're drunk."

"Why is that so relevant? I'd think the same thing if I was sober."

"You're not sober. That's the problem."

"Why is it a problem?"

"Phil, you're supposed to be straightedge."

"Why can the rest of the world get drunk but me?"

Matt stares into those soft liquid eyes and he watches as Phil leans in for another kiss but Matt pulls away.

"'Cause you're CM Punk."

"I don't wanna be CM fucking Punk!"

"Who do you wanna be, Phil?"

"I wanna be a rainbow."

"You're not joking when you said you're taking the role of my brother."

"And what are you? Who are you now?"

"I'm Matt."

"I don't like you, Matt."

"I don't like you, Punk."

"What about Phil? Do you like Phil?"

"I don't know."

Phil stares at him and he holds onto the door. "If you go outside, Phil, I'm gonna to destroy every bone in your body."

"I wanna go home."

When Matt sees the sincerity in those eyes, he finally opens the door and drags Phil from behind him.

"Where's home, Matt?"

"It's your house."

"No, that's not home."

"Where's home then, Matty?"

"It's safe. Home is safe. And love is safe. Love is home."

"Did you come up with that yourself?"

Phil nods his head. "No one loves me…"

"Phil-"

"Cody and Teddy's home is Randy. Your home is Jeffy…Jeff's home is you… whose home for me?"

"Love? I don't know."

"See! No one loves me!" tears bubble out of his eyes.

The time goes 12:00. Phil's heart is about to stop as he moves away and Matt steps towards him, holding onto Phil's wrist, watching the road as his heart beats to the rhythm of Matt's watch.

"No! Bad things happen at this time!"

"Phil. You've finally cracked."

"No! I'm-I'm serious."

Matt stares into those eyes, those tears still falling, the softness of his face glowing into the moonlight and—

"Why don't you save me…?"

"I'm not here to save you, Phil."

"Why are you here?! To watch me die?"

"You're not dying, Phil. Let me take you home."

"I don't have a home!"

Matt grabs onto Phil's wrist and pulls him towards his car, laying Phil's body in the backseat as he sits in the front, driving home.

Home…?

By the time that they're by Matt's house, Matt notices that Phil's already asleep.

"Goodnight, Phil…"

"I swear Matt…that is your thirteenth beer…"

Thirteen. It's his favorite number.

Matt drowns his sorrows in the alcohol that's in front of him and he seems to remember this…it's like déjà vu; he's seen this before… hadn't he?

"Matt!"

Matt gets out of trance, looking up at Jeff.

"I'm not drinking anymore beer."

"Good!"

"I'm going to tequila."

"Matt! What the hell are you doing to yourself?"

"I'm not doing anything to myself. He's gone."

"Phil's fine…"

"No, he's gone! He's all gone!"

"What do you mean, Matty?"

The sounds of people chucking and laughing, hook up's being made but Matt doesn't care as he brings the cup to his lips.

"He's dead."

"W-what? Matty! You must be delusional or something!"

"I couldn't save him…"

"Why don't you save me…?"

"He doesn't need saving. He's thirty-one. He can take care of himself…"

"No! He needed it! Why was I so blind?"

Jeff stares at him. "He needed to do it; Matty…he really needed to do it…"

The blood on the floor.

"He needed to do what? Overdose on painkillers? Snort 280 grams of cocaine in one day?"

"He wanted to kill the pain…"

"Pain of what?"

"He was abused."

Matt stares at Jeff and for a moment, he can see Phil, from those eyes.

Matt stares back at the cup of beer in his hands. "He wanted a rainbow…"

The color on the floor, that bright shade of red…

"He wanted it all to end. He wanted it to stop raining. He was waiting for a rainbow…" the clock ticks to 12:00. "Bad things happen at this time…"

"No one loves me…"

"I love you…"

Too late.

Matt laughs. "I'm always late." Tears fall from his face and he doesn't really care. "Phil, you're my home…"

And in the back of his head, he thinks of home, he thinks of rainbows, he thinks of stupid black skirts and Phil's smile.

All gone.

And all that's left is never ending rain and bloodied hearts.

Not sure what to think of this.

I just needed, desperately needed, to write a ChipMUNK one-shot. What did you think of this, sweethearts?

X Sam.