Hope you like it!!! If anyone's read my "Inside my mind" oneshot, then you should know the style of how this was written.

"Shut up!" I screeched. I threw the ceramic coffee mug down from the counter. It shattered into millions of tiny pieces. "Shut up! You don't know anything!"

I stormed to my room, tears streaming down my face. I slammed the door, just as my knees gave way. I fell to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. I had no energy to lift myself up. So, I laid there. I just laid there, my tears soaking the carpet of my room.

My heart felt so empty. My lungs ached. My head is buzzing over and over with the same words Kankurou had just uttered to me:

Gaara's dead.

XOXOX

The hole in my heart tore wider. I wanted so badly to hug Temari and tell her everything would be ok. I wanted to calm her, but there was no doing that. If I told her everything would be fine, I would be lying.

I had just gotten the news that our Kazekage—our brother—had just died. Akatsuki had tooken him. They had left me the duty to tell his loved ones—of course, that was only me and Temari. I felt so useless.

My sister, my only family, was now in shock. She now hated my guts. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to kill me. I can't blame her.

Gaara was her lover. Her heart went to him, and he returned the love. They were closer than I would ever be, but now that he's dead…I'm sure that my hole is nothing compared to the emptiness in her heart.

The feeling that no one is left out there for you.

XOXOX

My eyes fluttered open. The surrounding area of them felt hot; swollen. How long had I been crying?

I glanced around the room. It looked unfamiliar. The mirrors in my room were shattered. My desk was snapped in two, and my closet door had been torn off the hinges, clothes lying everywhere. I looked towards the window, shocked to see a fist-sized hole in the glass that allowed everything, in the path of it's rays, to bath in the warm sunlight. I noticed the soft cloth rustling against my skin—my blanket.

Who had put me in my bed? I sat up, head buzzing. I closed my eyes, and waited for the room to stop spinning. When I opened them, I saw my clothes were the same as yesterday, but my hair was loose. A sharp sting ran through my hands. I look down at them, shocked. My knuckles are covered in bandages, but the blood on the opposite side had soaked through.

I looked towards my nightstand. A note. I recognized the familiar handwriting.

Temari,

If you want to, come downstairs. I don't blame you.

Kankurou.

Oh, Kankurou…Had you brought me to my bed? I shook my head to get rid of the last trace of sleep, and climbed out of bed. Beside the note was 4 bands strategically placed for me. I used them to tie up my golden hair.

XOXOX

I wonder if she woke up. I wonder if she saw my note. I wonder if she'll come down. I wonder if she hates me.

I have so many questions, but I have no answers. I have so much pain, but I have no medicine. I have so much stuff to say, but I have no voice.

As I sit here on the couch, last night's events play over in my head. The feeling that ran through me when I heard all the crashes coming from Temari's room was just a vivid as last night.

When I ran to her room after hearing her cry of pain, I was horrified to find my dear sister on the ground, glass surrounding her. She had destroyed her desk, her closet door, and a mirror. She was sobbing like mad, and her hands were clenched into bloody fists. She opened her eyes, but they didn't look like hers. Her eyes were a dark green that was bright at the same time. Her eyes were light, bubbly. But now, they were dark, tired, and angry. Aggressive. They scared me.

"Go away!" She roared, lifting herself off the floor. I refused to leave, even though my entire body was shaking uncontrollably. She screamed again. "Leave!"

"Temari, calm down!" I said, my voice nothing but a forced whisper.

She went wild. She picked up the frame of the mirror she just broke to break another. After that, as though she hadn't done enough damage, she thrust her fist through the window, sending more glass onto the floor, and cutting her hand even more.

"Temari, stop!" I shouted. She glared at me, eyes flaring.

"Shut up! You don't know anything!" She screamed. She turned to me as though she as ready for a fight. I was terrified.

How could I fight my own sister? How could I raise my fists against her? But, I didn't need to. Right before me, she fell. She didn't trip. She didn't step on any glass. Her knees gave way. She started to cry again.

"Gaara!" She sobbed. I crouched down. Her tears fell onto her hands, mixing with the blood. She looked up to me with eyes completely different from last time. They were sad, begging for forgiveness. They pleaded for love that could only be givin by Gaara.

She looked back down, and fell onto my lap. I could feel the tears soak through my pants, but I didn't mind. I sat there, allowing her to cry. Allowing her to calm down.

After a while, she had finally calmed down, and started to only sob quietly. I took that chance to wrap her hands in bandages, and untie her hair. I slowly tucked her into bed, and left her room, tortured by the fact that I couldn't do more.

XOXOX

What did I do last night? My reflection looks nothing like me!

I clutched the end of the bathroom counter, leaning closer towards the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot, and my cheeks are pink. There are giant bags underneath my eyes. My eyes…Is it just me, or have they turned 3 shades darker? I wash my face, and add just the right amount of makeup to cover the damage.

I slowly walk down the stairs, noticing the change in my tempo. Before last night, I would hop down the steps 2, maybe even 4, steps at a time. Now, I would drag my feet, doing everything in my power to move the least bit, just enough to not trip. I was not bubbly anymore.

I walked to the living room to find Kankurou leaned over on the couch. He has his head in his hands, and he doesn't look like he changed his clothes at all. Maybe, he spent all night up! His entire body is shuddering, and he's making these weird sounds that doesn't sound like him…

Oh, god…

Is he crying?

XOXOX

"Kan…kurou?"

I jerk my head up, and find Temari behind the couch, eyes wide.

"T—Temari!" I wiped the tears from my eyes. Crap—she saw, didn't she? "What are you—"

"I saw your note." She said simply. "What do you don't blame me for?"

I shook my head. "I…" I can't get more than a few words out. How can I tell her about last night? How can I tell her that I care about her? How can I tell her that even though Gaara's dead, we'll pull through? It'll be better, if I just stay shut.

She took the seat next to me. "Kankurou, I don't blame you for anything. I'm sorry about last night…I don't even remember what happened." I was about to say something until she placed her finger on my mouth. "And, to tell the truth, I don't want to remember." She said sadly. She looked down at her hands, an uneasy look on her face.

"I…I know that I must've done something to hurt you, and I don't blame you if you hate me." She whispered, taking her finger off my mouth. "I'm sorry."

Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around her. I held her close, not caring what she thought. "I don't hate you." I said.

And I truly didn't.

XOXOX

Kankurou…

I wrapped my arms around his waist, searching for any warmth that I would feel when Gaara held me.

And, I found something better.

"What happened to my room?" I asked quietly.

"…You went into a rage last night." I felt him shake his head. "You weren't yourself."

"So, I caused all of that destruction?" I asked in disbelief. "Was it you who helped me?"

He didn't say anything. I felt his grip on me loosen. He pulled backwards.

"I…I'm sorry." He said, unable to meet my eyes.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, angry that he let go.

"G-Gaara…I know you two loved each other, so when I had to—" I cut him off.

"You had to what? To tell me that he died? I'm glad it was you. Think about if you were someone else! If you were just some random Jounin who was assigned the job? I don't know what I would've done!" I said, my feelings flowing out all at once. "I could've hurt you! If you were someone else, than I would've hurt them more!" I wiped the tears that were now falling freely. "Kankurou…I don't know what came over me…! All I know is that I'm glad you were there…Or else,"—I looked down at my hands—"I might've died…"

He put his hand over mine. "No…I wouldn't have let you die…" He said.

The warmness of his hand on mine was nothing compared to Gaara's. Gaara was always cold so his hands weren't much of a warming device. But, with Kankurou, I'm sure that I could spend hours on end, just holding him. But, is that OK for me to say? I know Gaara's dead, but does that give me the right to cheat on him?

If it wasn't for Gaara, I wouldn't feel like such a lowlife, backstabbing, lying scumbag right now.

XOXOX

I tightened my grip on Temari's hand. I felt a stab of guilt as Gaara's face ran through my mind.

She doesn't know it, and he surely doesn't, but I think I'm stealing Temari away from Gaara.

I half-heartedly let go of her hand. "Temari…" I started.

"What?" She asked. Her eyes showed that she was also feeling guilty.

"We…" I shook my head. "I'm going out." I stood up from the couch, and headed to the door. I could feel the guilt tearing open the hole in my heart even more.

Gaara's dead, and I'm stealing his girlfriend away from him.

What a good brother.

XOXOX

So, he leaves me.

Gaara left me. He died.

So, I look for another source to fill the hole in my heart. I find Kankurou.

Then, he leaves me. He can't be with his sister.

I feel horrible. Either for allowing Kankurou to raise my hopes, or for cheating on Gaara, I don't know. All I know is that Kankurou is now my only hope.

So, I jump up from the couch. I follow him to the door, and grab his hand.

"Kankurou…" I plead. He turns around.

"Temari, we can't—" He stops. He squeezes my hand.

"I know. You're probably feeling guilty about Gaara. I do too, but think about it—If Gaara really loved me, he'd want what's best, right? And then, he'd let me find another love." I whispered. His eyes confirmed my theory.

"But he's my brother." He said.

"And he's my ex." I smiled. He slowly nodded, and grabbed my waist. He pulled my closer to him, a hand on my waist, the other on my back.

Without any hesitation, I kiss him. I allow the warm feeling of his hands and lips to take over my body, and wash away all of the pain. I close my eyes, and wrap my arms around his neck. In the few second that we're apart, he whispers "I'm sorry."

I put my head on his chest. "Thank you, Kankurou." I smiled. He kissed the top of my head.

So, he didn't leave me. He stayed. He followed. He allowed.

What a good brother.

Yah!!! So, its over…Sorry, all of you GaaTema fans, and Gaara fans!!! We all know Gaara dies, but I keep him dead. Am I evil for that? X3

So, the title is used twice. Once, in a bad, guilty way, the other in a nice, thankful way. You get the idea.