The Fairy Patrol
Ch1
6:00 AM
Beep beep beep beep beep beep-
A hand came out of no-where and swatted desperately at the alarm clock.
"Goddamnit," the voice from beneath the depths of covers was heavily laced with sleep. The hand scrabbled over the bedside cabinet a few moments more before grabbing hold of a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. A face surfaced and the man's vision focused, now filtered by his lenses.
"Why?" he begged, rolling slowly out of bed as though through honey. The dingy apartment remained silent.
As he stumbled towards the kitchen in search of a cup of coffee, he caught sight of himself in the cracked mirror above the sink.
His messy hair partially obscured his face and his eyes were still heavy with sleep.
Name: Alfred F. Jones
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Desc.: (American) Blue Eyes, 6"2, Blonde hair, Tan skin
DCI in the Cogs district of New Pyong City
Sighing, he turned on the kettle and stared out of the window in his kitchen at the smog-laced streets.
It's a whole new day, he said to himself, though you could hardly tell. The smoke was so thick and the buildings so tall that the sunrise was almost invisible. A new chance.
He forced a smile. It wouldn't do to get too down. He was a hero, after all!
But it was kinda hard.
9:00
A long-haired Frenchman paced slowly down the sidewalk, breathing in the crisp, smokey air of the New Pyong morning. Apparently his team was getting a new detective today.
He could only hope that this one turned out better than the last one.
He entered the building casually, indifferent to the dingy, typical office building style it was decorated in. He of course made sure to waggle his (well-manicured) eyebrows at the pretty brunette receptionist. Passing her as she giggled quietly, he got into the elevator. He pressed the number for his floor and the reflection in the mirrored wall greeted him affectionately.
Name: Francis Bonnefoy
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Desc.: (French) Blue Eyes, 6", Blond hair, Tan skin
Policeman (Sergeant) in the Cogs district of New Pyong City
As he got to the 8th floor the doors chimed and opened. He continued down to the corridor until he came to a door labelled in block lettering:
FORCE 3
Francis rolled his eyes at the ostentatious sign. No matter how many times he went to the office he never got used to it.
"Force 3" indeed.
He opened the door, and entered the workplace of the best homicide task force currently employed by the New Pyong Police Department.
9:05
Alfred rushed down the corridor. He was late. 5 minutes late. Goddamn, why did this have to happen today of all days? He was trying to make a good impression, for Christ's sake. He was going so fast he almost passed the door labelled "Force 3".
Cool, he thought on one level. Catchy.
On all the other levels, it was going more along the lines of: oh god oh shit oh fuck why you idiot!
He threw open the door and yelled "Sorry I'm late!" panting for breath and doubled over, he at first missed the four freezing stares.
However, as soon as he had straightened up, fixing on his usual (brilliant, not obnoxious) smile, he caught them.
"Well…" he shifted nervously. "This is awkward."
"Indeed," a Japanese man said, eyes appraising his mildly dishevelled apparel with apparent lack of interest.
Name: Kiku Honda
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Desc.: (Japanese) Brown eyes, 5"4, Black hair, Tan skin
Criminal profiler in the Cogs district of New Pyong City
"Oh, sorry! I'm DCI Jones, Alfred F. Jones! I'm the hero!"
A man standing next to the water cooler stepped forward, breaking the stern silence.
"Yeah, we know who you are," he said in heavily accented English, rolling his eyes. "But what are you doing here?"
Name: Gilbert Beilschmidt
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Desc: (German/Prussian) Red eyes, 6"2, Platinum blond hair, Pale skin
Policeman in the Cogs District of New Pyong City
"W-well, I was transferred here…" Alfred said, bright grin faltering slightly as the Albino began to laugh.
What was going on here exactly? Maybe they'd heard… he thought internally. But no, that couldn't have happened.
"You were transferred here," The German said, trying to control his guffaws. "What- exactly- did you do?"
"Well… What d'you mean?" Alfred asked, feeling more and more trapped. Maybe they had heard…
"I mean… That there's only two reasons you could be here, in Force 3. You've either done something really bad… or you're not telling us something. I'm guessing the really bad option."
"Not telling you what?"
And at this, Gilbert, Francis, Kiku and the other guy stared at him incredulously before all bursting into incredulous laughter.
Simultaneously.
Really creepily.
(Except that Kiku was laughing real quiet and holding his hand up in front of his mouth, so the only way you could tell was by the way his body was quivering).
Alfred looked at the rest of them. "What?"
The tan guy who hadn't spoken yet walked over and slung an arm around Alfred's shoulder, wiping away tears of laughter.
"Amigo," he smiled, flashing brilliantly white teeth. "I thought I was oblivious. Obviously I was wrong."
Name: Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Desc: (Spanish) Green eyes, 5"6, Brown hair, tanned skin
Policeman in the Cogs District of New Pyong City
"What d'you mean, man? I'm not oblivious! I'm awesome!"
"No, that would be me!" Gilbert interrupted, shaking his head. "I will decide whether or not you are awesome. Kesese~" he laughed real creepy again.
"Dude, that's getting really creepy. Just tell me what you're laughing about already."
Francis shook his head and sat down at his desk, putting his legs up. "Mon ami, it is like this. You are aware, of course, that it is not merely our pride talking when we say that we are the best team in all of New Pyong?"
Alfred nodded. It was common knowledge among the forces that Force 3 was the most efficient team currently operating.
"Ever wonder why we're Force 3, not Force 1 or 2?"
Alfred thought about it. Nope. Never considered it before.
Francis smiled slightly and indicated the room at large. "It is because they are embarrassed of us, mon cher. We are too good to be kicked off, but our, shall we say, lifestyle means they don't want us to get too much recognition."
"What kind of lifestyle?" Alfred asked, curiosity well and truly piqued.
Frnacis smiled slightly. "We are all gay."
"Oh."
"That is why they call us The Fairy Patrol."
"Ah."
9:30
"Who the bloody hell are you?"
Alfred froze, trying to make as little noise as possible. Surely there was no way the guy could have heard him. He'd been really quiet…
"Stop that nonsense. I can see you in the bloody mirror. Now tell me who you are," the man said, spinning round.
Name: Arthur Kirkland
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Desc: (British) Green eyes, 5"7, Blond hair, pale skin
Forensic Pathologist (working exclusively for Force 3) in the Cogs District of New Pyong City
"I… I'm Alfred F. Jones," he said nervously. "DCI Jones."
The Brit regarded him for a moment and then stuck out a hand. "Arthur Kirkland. Forensic pathologist."
The stood there for a few moments, simply regarding each other, and broke apart.
Alfred sighed slightly, looking around the preparation room. The smell of antiseptic assailed his senses and the setup- two benches surrounded by metal lockers- reminded him of a change room back in his home America.
"You know, I've always thought that corpses were way creepy."
Arthur's jaw tightened. "Right."
They lapsed into silence.
A/N wat u think?
(New Pyong is a non-existent city)
Yeah, I know that apart from a tad bit of swearing, this doesn't really justify a T. But it's a crime investigation story. There may be murder. There may be rape. Depends on what I feel like at the time.
Plus, al the characters, while seeming rather normalish, are all kinda fucked in some way or another.