PROMISES
A/N: this is a song i came across, and i really thought that it made me think of Justin and how Brian always breaks him. but now i have missed an episode and discovered that Justin has betrayed Brian. suprise, he has learned from the master, hasn't he? i gave kudos to justin for this. anyways, this is a mixed fic, part of justin;s feelings, and part of brian's feelings.
Disclaimers. Obviously I don't own QAF.:P
Promises
"Standing back I can't believe
How you've led me on
And judging by the things you say
There's gotta be something wrong
Why are you telling me that for when you don't mean it
Why are you telling me that for I don't believe it"
Justin sat in the loft by himself, feelings going through his head. He didn't know what to do. Yes, he loved Brian. Everyone knew that. But he was so tired of it. All of the headgames, all of the lies. But Eric was there, and Justin was just being like any other gay man. Eric was a nice guy, and Justin had broken the rule.
But when did Brian NOT break rules?
Brian didn't have to know, did he?
Of course he did.
He would be able to tell something was wrong the moment he looked at Justin's face. Justin went over and got a drink, and slowly sipped it, savouring the taste of the alcohol sliding down his throat. He didn't know what to do. If he told Brian, he might have to pack his things and leave.
However, maybe Brian had already broken the rules and would admit it too, then Justin wouldn't feel so bad. It didn't matter.
Eric was gone, and Justin had gotten rid of him the way Brian would've done it. By being honest, and telling him exactly what he was.
A fuck.
Nothing more, nothing less.
But it had broken Justin's soft heart to watch Eric leave in tears, feeling the rejection as Justin had when Brian had told him the same words over a year ago.
Would this guy turn out like him?
Who knew?
Justin just felt the guilt heavy on his shoulders as he heard the door of the loft open and Brian walked in. He almost felt sick, as Brian threw him a lopsided grin that very few people had the pleasure of seeing.
He tried to smile, but faltered and looked down at the computer where he was drawing.
Brian went onto the kitchen, his hawk-like eyes watching Justin's every move. He could tell something was up. Usually Justin had a story about school that day, or a little remark to throw in as Brian walked in the door. But today it was just silence.
How peculiar.
Justin knew his actions were making Brian even more suspicious. So he closed the computer and walked over, wrapping his arms around Brian's waist. Brian slowly relaxed, figuring that Justin was just involved in drawing, and everything else just kinda phazed him.
"Hey, how was your day?"
Justin looked expectantly, waiting for an answer as Brian had a glass of water and then started to make himself a protein shake.
"Same old business. My boss is an asshole with a wallet the size of my dick. You?"
Well, Brian, last night I fucked a guy, then you, then the guy came over and I told him in the best Brian-Kinney way that he was just a fuck and made him cry. Then I went to school. Same old here too.
"Nothing really. Just drew some more."
"Your promises have never been
Anything you made them seem
So what you're gonna promise me this time
You're telling lies so plain to see
Trying to make a fool of me
So what you're gonna promise me this time
I wanna know"
Brian sighed, looking at the small fidgety blonde before him. It was obvious that Justin wanted desperately to tell him something. But he knew there would be a consequence, and therefore was staying silent. Brian decided to just play a small mind game to get whatever it was out of him.
"So, you're obviously either experiencing the worst orgasm ever while just looking at me, or you have something you need to relieve yourself of telling me. So spill it."
That was Brian.
Very inconspicuous.
Justin smiled, trying not to throw up from his nervousness. Brian began walking slowly toward him, grinning the way a leopard would at a small deer it found by itself, defenseless and alone. Justin walked backwards, stuttering over words.
"Well, you remember those rules. Those things we uhm....you know what I mean. Well have... I mean are you actually following them?"
Brian felt himself grow stiff. Though he would never admit it to Justin, he hadn't fucked anyone since the grocery store guy. He was slowly beginning to admit to himself that he was in love with Justin. He smiled and raised an eyebrow in a suggestive way.
"I don't know. But I'm going to have a shower. Care to join me?"
Justin sighed and shook his head, and went back to his drawing program.
Brian looked at him, his eyebrows furrowing in suprise. His hazel eyes clouded over with suspicion and he walked into the bathroom.
"Seems like I've been playing your game
And now you think you've won
But when you count up what you've gained
You're the lonely one"
Justin was lying down on the bed when Brian came out of the shower, his hair still dripping, his sleek body still moist and warm from the water. He walked over to Justin and smiled, dropping the towel that he had wrapped loosely around his hips. Justin continued drawing on the small pad he held in his hands. Brian tried to tug it away, but Justin held onto it, his face serious as he concentrated.
Or as the guilt seeped in further.
Or as he tried to think of ways to tell Brian.
"Okay, stop being such a fucking princess and tell me what's wrong."
Brian was getting frustrated. Justin had his attitude on.
And Brian hated it.
Justin sighed and put the pad away, then lay back with his arms behind his head. "Remember that party that Daphne brought me to? The frat party?"
Brian looked over, a smug smile on his face.
"Yeah, you said you hated it. What about it?"
Justin sighed, and continued.
"Well I met a guy named Eric there, and I fucked him in one of the bedrooms. I held off as long as I could, but it was his first time, and I couldn't treat him like.....like..."
"Like I would."
"I kissed him."
"I figured."
"Are you mad?"
"Why should I be?"
Justin sighed in exasperation. He knew that Brian would get like this if he told him. He knew he would either get mad, or act like he didn't care.
"Because we made a deal that....that we just wouldn't do things like that. And I broke it. And I feel like shit about it. He came here today. Eric I mean. I told him he was only a fuck, and that he meant nothing. He left in tears."
Brian was suprised more than anything. He couldn't believe that Justin would be the first one to crack under the rules. He thought for sure it would be him. And suprised even more so, that Justin could treat the boy like that.
He had such a kind heart.
A light in his eyes that Brian adored.
An air of innocence that Brian loved.
Maybe he just wasn't the same boy that Brian fucked over a year ago. Christ had he really been around that long? It didn't seem like it. But Justin had been through it all with him. Gus, his father's death, the lawsuit that Justin saved him from, Mikey moving to Portland. There were so many things.
And still he stayed true through all that.
But now it was a little different.
He learned from the master.
He was growing into Brian.
And that made Brian feel strange.
Jealous?
No.
Yes.
Brian looked over and kissed Justin hard on the mouth. Justin replied to the kiss quickly and wrapped his arms around Brian's neck, running them down his hard, moist chest.
No one felt as good as him.
"Never again. Brian. Never again."
Justin mumbled through kisses.
Brian kissed him back, as the younger man clung to him.
Brian looked at him, as he lay sleeping a few hours later. He was so young, but had been forced to grow up so fast.
Brian had some admiration for the kid.
And love.
Fin.
Any things to say? I only like positive feedback and constructive criticism. Thank ya. :)
A/N: this is a song i came across, and i really thought that it made me think of Justin and how Brian always breaks him. but now i have missed an episode and discovered that Justin has betrayed Brian. suprise, he has learned from the master, hasn't he? i gave kudos to justin for this. anyways, this is a mixed fic, part of justin;s feelings, and part of brian's feelings.
Disclaimers. Obviously I don't own QAF.:P
Promises
"Standing back I can't believe
How you've led me on
And judging by the things you say
There's gotta be something wrong
Why are you telling me that for when you don't mean it
Why are you telling me that for I don't believe it"
Justin sat in the loft by himself, feelings going through his head. He didn't know what to do. Yes, he loved Brian. Everyone knew that. But he was so tired of it. All of the headgames, all of the lies. But Eric was there, and Justin was just being like any other gay man. Eric was a nice guy, and Justin had broken the rule.
But when did Brian NOT break rules?
Brian didn't have to know, did he?
Of course he did.
He would be able to tell something was wrong the moment he looked at Justin's face. Justin went over and got a drink, and slowly sipped it, savouring the taste of the alcohol sliding down his throat. He didn't know what to do. If he told Brian, he might have to pack his things and leave.
However, maybe Brian had already broken the rules and would admit it too, then Justin wouldn't feel so bad. It didn't matter.
Eric was gone, and Justin had gotten rid of him the way Brian would've done it. By being honest, and telling him exactly what he was.
A fuck.
Nothing more, nothing less.
But it had broken Justin's soft heart to watch Eric leave in tears, feeling the rejection as Justin had when Brian had told him the same words over a year ago.
Would this guy turn out like him?
Who knew?
Justin just felt the guilt heavy on his shoulders as he heard the door of the loft open and Brian walked in. He almost felt sick, as Brian threw him a lopsided grin that very few people had the pleasure of seeing.
He tried to smile, but faltered and looked down at the computer where he was drawing.
Brian went onto the kitchen, his hawk-like eyes watching Justin's every move. He could tell something was up. Usually Justin had a story about school that day, or a little remark to throw in as Brian walked in the door. But today it was just silence.
How peculiar.
Justin knew his actions were making Brian even more suspicious. So he closed the computer and walked over, wrapping his arms around Brian's waist. Brian slowly relaxed, figuring that Justin was just involved in drawing, and everything else just kinda phazed him.
"Hey, how was your day?"
Justin looked expectantly, waiting for an answer as Brian had a glass of water and then started to make himself a protein shake.
"Same old business. My boss is an asshole with a wallet the size of my dick. You?"
Well, Brian, last night I fucked a guy, then you, then the guy came over and I told him in the best Brian-Kinney way that he was just a fuck and made him cry. Then I went to school. Same old here too.
"Nothing really. Just drew some more."
"Your promises have never been
Anything you made them seem
So what you're gonna promise me this time
You're telling lies so plain to see
Trying to make a fool of me
So what you're gonna promise me this time
I wanna know"
Brian sighed, looking at the small fidgety blonde before him. It was obvious that Justin wanted desperately to tell him something. But he knew there would be a consequence, and therefore was staying silent. Brian decided to just play a small mind game to get whatever it was out of him.
"So, you're obviously either experiencing the worst orgasm ever while just looking at me, or you have something you need to relieve yourself of telling me. So spill it."
That was Brian.
Very inconspicuous.
Justin smiled, trying not to throw up from his nervousness. Brian began walking slowly toward him, grinning the way a leopard would at a small deer it found by itself, defenseless and alone. Justin walked backwards, stuttering over words.
"Well, you remember those rules. Those things we uhm....you know what I mean. Well have... I mean are you actually following them?"
Brian felt himself grow stiff. Though he would never admit it to Justin, he hadn't fucked anyone since the grocery store guy. He was slowly beginning to admit to himself that he was in love with Justin. He smiled and raised an eyebrow in a suggestive way.
"I don't know. But I'm going to have a shower. Care to join me?"
Justin sighed and shook his head, and went back to his drawing program.
Brian looked at him, his eyebrows furrowing in suprise. His hazel eyes clouded over with suspicion and he walked into the bathroom.
"Seems like I've been playing your game
And now you think you've won
But when you count up what you've gained
You're the lonely one"
Justin was lying down on the bed when Brian came out of the shower, his hair still dripping, his sleek body still moist and warm from the water. He walked over to Justin and smiled, dropping the towel that he had wrapped loosely around his hips. Justin continued drawing on the small pad he held in his hands. Brian tried to tug it away, but Justin held onto it, his face serious as he concentrated.
Or as the guilt seeped in further.
Or as he tried to think of ways to tell Brian.
"Okay, stop being such a fucking princess and tell me what's wrong."
Brian was getting frustrated. Justin had his attitude on.
And Brian hated it.
Justin sighed and put the pad away, then lay back with his arms behind his head. "Remember that party that Daphne brought me to? The frat party?"
Brian looked over, a smug smile on his face.
"Yeah, you said you hated it. What about it?"
Justin sighed, and continued.
"Well I met a guy named Eric there, and I fucked him in one of the bedrooms. I held off as long as I could, but it was his first time, and I couldn't treat him like.....like..."
"Like I would."
"I kissed him."
"I figured."
"Are you mad?"
"Why should I be?"
Justin sighed in exasperation. He knew that Brian would get like this if he told him. He knew he would either get mad, or act like he didn't care.
"Because we made a deal that....that we just wouldn't do things like that. And I broke it. And I feel like shit about it. He came here today. Eric I mean. I told him he was only a fuck, and that he meant nothing. He left in tears."
Brian was suprised more than anything. He couldn't believe that Justin would be the first one to crack under the rules. He thought for sure it would be him. And suprised even more so, that Justin could treat the boy like that.
He had such a kind heart.
A light in his eyes that Brian adored.
An air of innocence that Brian loved.
Maybe he just wasn't the same boy that Brian fucked over a year ago. Christ had he really been around that long? It didn't seem like it. But Justin had been through it all with him. Gus, his father's death, the lawsuit that Justin saved him from, Mikey moving to Portland. There were so many things.
And still he stayed true through all that.
But now it was a little different.
He learned from the master.
He was growing into Brian.
And that made Brian feel strange.
Jealous?
No.
Yes.
Brian looked over and kissed Justin hard on the mouth. Justin replied to the kiss quickly and wrapped his arms around Brian's neck, running them down his hard, moist chest.
No one felt as good as him.
"Never again. Brian. Never again."
Justin mumbled through kisses.
Brian kissed him back, as the younger man clung to him.
Brian looked at him, as he lay sleeping a few hours later. He was so young, but had been forced to grow up so fast.
Brian had some admiration for the kid.
And love.
Fin.
Any things to say? I only like positive feedback and constructive criticism. Thank ya. :)