Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did Dosu would have returned by now.

Note: I have a rare disease that allows me to only eat reviews. Don't let me starve please.

Dosu, Kin, and Zaku sat around inside the Hidden Sound Village, stricken with boredom. They haven't received a mission from Orochimaru in months. They've been laying around inside the Sound Village lounge without leaving for almost three days, living off nothing but the food Kabuto stashed in the mini fridge. Zaku just sat there, blasting air in his face from his palms, with Kin watching him. Dosu stared at the stone ceiling, wishing for an excuse to leave the village.

"Ow!" Zaku shouted in pain.

"That didn't hurt!" Kin responded.

"What are you doing? IS IT FUN?" Dosu asked, jumping in excitement.

"No it's not fun!" answered Zaku, "Kin keeps poking me with her senbon!"

Kin laughed, "What are you talking about? Poking you is really fun!" She jabbed him again with her senbon, this time breaking through his skin and causing bleeding.

"Oh, I love poking Zaku! This was my favorite pastime in training!" replied Dosu as he approached Zaku. He told Kin, "Pass me a needle!" She did as he requested. As soon as the senbon was in Dosu's hand he drove it straight into his arm, coming out the other side.

"Aaahhh!" Screamed Zaku, "What the hell Dosu, that's not poking! And that was my good arm!"

Dosu was amused, "I thought they were both your good arm"

"Yea, but this one's better!" Zaku remarked as he pulled the needle out of his arm. "Come on, try to poke me again, I dare you!"

"Nah, this got boring." was Dosu's response. His stomach growled, "Anyone else hungry?"

Kin walked over to the mini fridge. She turned after inspecting the fridge and stated, "We're all out of food!"

"How is that possible?" Asked Dosu, "We had like, seven bags of black licorice left!"

"Well maybe if Zaku wasn't such a fatty and ate everything in sight we would have some left!" answered Kin.

"Zaku!" Dosu shouted. His sudden rage startled Zaku. "Why would you eat those?"

"I...I..." Zaku tried to speak, but was still shaken up from Dosu's anger.

"Black licorice is disgusting! How can you eat that?" Dosu interrupted.

Zaku recovered from his shock and explained, "But I didn't eat them! Kabuto came in here yesterday and took them!"

"Figures," Said Dosu, "Kabuto would eat all our food. That reminds me! Why don't we just check the kitchen for food?"

"But Dosu!" replied Kin, "The kitchen is all the way across the hall! We'd have to leave the Sound lounge!"

"Stop calling it the Sound lounge," Remarked Zaku, "the only difference between this room and the rest is the mini fridge. There's nothing else in here. Not even a couch."

"It's a long journey, but we must do it if we are to survive!" Dosu stated. The three of them got up off the bare stone floor, and headed to the door. Zaku was about to enter the hallway, but Dosu grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. "You fool!" he shouted, "This is a ninja hallway! You can't simply cross it! You must escape all the traps!"

Zaku acknowledged him with a nod, and the three of them entered their battle poses. "Now!" declared Dosu. The three of them leaped into the air. Kin flipped over a swinging axe, Zaku weaved through flying arrows, and Dosu dived under a flamethrower. Arrows flew left and right, and spears shot out of walls. As soon as they got halfway across the hallway the ceiling started to lower on them. "Quickly!" Kin Shouted, and the three of them burst throw the kitchen door just as the ceiling hit the floor.

"Well if it isn't you three, you're just time!" Said a voice from the kitchen.

Dosu answered the voice, "Why, if it isn't Kabuto. What are in time for? IS IT FOOD?"

"Yep, I just finished baking cookies!" Kabuto answered as he pulled a tray of cookies out of the oven. He placed the cookies on the kitchen counter and untied his "Ninja Kiss the Ninja Cook" ninja apron. The sound trio walked up to get cookies, but Kabuto was faster, and started throwing cookies at them.

"What the hell!" yelled Zaku, "Why are you throwing them! They don't even hurt!"

"Because Zaku," answered Dosu, "they are ninja cookies! Quickly! Cookie formation!" The three formed a pyramid and started throwing kunai and senbon to deflect the cookies.

"That's twelve! He's used all of his ammo!" Kin declared, and the three of them got on their knees and started picking up the cookies.

"Baker's dozen!" Shouted Kabuto, and he threw a thirteenth cookie at Kin. Kin, who was off balance and distracted since she was bent over picking up cookies, was knocked down by the attack.

"Well, she's dead. Can we get a hot ninja next to replace her?" Zaku asked.

"You asshole," Kin replied as she got back up. "It was only a damn cookie!"

"Quit your nonsense Zaku, for we have cookies to eat!" Dosu ordered as grabbed some cookies.

Zaku was puzzled. "Wait, you're going to eat too? That means you can take your bandages off and we can finally see your face!"

Dosu made a hand sign and chanted, "Ninja art, cookie adsorbtion!" And his cookies went through his bandages.

Zaku rolled his eyes and took a bite of cookies. Kin did too. Without chewing the two of them spat the cookies out. Dosu unabsorbed his cookie. "These taste like black licorice!" Dosu yelled.

"Well of course silly," responded Kabuto, "they are black licorice cookies!"

"YOU MONSTER! YOU DARE WASTE COOKIE DOUGH?" Dosu screamed as he raised his melody arm, preparing to attack.

"Well Mr. Grumpypants that's the only thing I had to bake with!" Kabuto answered, "If you want to complain Lord Orochimaru is in his chamber."

"To Orochimaru!" Dosu declared, and the three of them towards the door. The door opened, revealing a wall of paper bombs.

"Mind the ninja door." Kabuto added.