Saga One--- Very Much a Death Eater…

"Has it been busy at the Ministry?"

"Very," said Mr. Weasley. "I wouldn't mind if we were getting anywhere, but of the three arrests we've made in the last couple of months, I doubt that one of them is a genuine Death Eater--- Only don't repeat that, Harry," he added quickly, looking much more awake all of a sudden.

"They're not still holding Stan Shunpike, are they?" asked Harry.

"I'm afraid so," said Mr. Weasley. "I know Dumbledore's tried appealing directly to Scrimgeour about Stan… I mean, anybody who has actually interviewed him agrees that he's as about as much a Death Eater as this Satsuma… but the top levels-"

But ArthurWan Kenobi, as Harry secretly loved calling Mr. Weasley in the back of his mind, for some odd reason, broke off suddenly. They both stared, as the tangerine-like fruit Mr. Weasley had been about to eat jumped off the table, its insides illuminated by an eerie green light that Ginny was using to make her evil laugh that she did every time she beat Fred and George even more maniacal.

On one little fraction of fruit gleamed the incredibly tasteless and completely unoriginal mascot of Voldemort and his Death Eaters: A skull. With a snake for a tongue because Darth Voldie, as Harry secretly loved calling Tom Riddle in the back of his mind, decided that his evil slaves shouldn't be mistaken for Jolly Rogers, and also because he thought the serpent impressed girls.

Well, anyway, the Satsuma hovered for a moment, then, in a singsong voice that reminded Harry of FredFred Burger, as he secretly loved to call Fred Weasley in the back of his mind, singing that Rammstein song, "Du Hast," in the shower, which is sad, because Fred's singing sucks, and "Du Hast" is a great song. Now, of course, Fred didn't actually know that Harry was even there, but lately, Harry had been sneaking into bathrooms, unseen, thanks to his invisibility cloak, with a tape recorder he won from Dudley after he bet that Dudley would be mistaken for a pig if he dressed in pink, and saving every song the Weasleys, and Fleur, who He-Who-Has-An-Oddly-Shaped-Scar, as Harry secretly liked to call himself in the back of his mind, had filmed using a super-zoom camera he'd stolen from Dudley, after Milk Dud, as Harry secretly loved to call Dudley Dursley in the back of his mind, ran away sobbing when Harry asked George to use magic to make his butt three times its normal size.

And in this out-of-tune, distorted voice, the Satsuma shouted, "FOOLS! YOU SHALL ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD!"

But ArthurWan Kenobi ignored its citrus-rich threat, grabbed the small orange sphere, and took a large bite out of its Dark Mark.

"NOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I AM THE DARK LORD'S FAVORITE! HE EVEN PAINTED A STILL LIFE OF ME! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Harry! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE A FREAKING SATSUMA!"

"Ummmm… No I didn't?…"

Ginny sighed, exasperatedly, and hit Harry, who started shouting, "YOU SHALL ALL PERISH!" in his best imitation of Fred's singing, in the head with a large watermelon, which Mrs. Weasley had conjured out of thin air in case Fleur and Bill were acting rather R-rated in public again.

"USE PROTECTION!" Shouted The Mollinator, as Harry secretly loved calling Mrs. Weasley in the back of his mind, as she heard the watermelon splat against Harry's skull.

Excerpts taken from page 331 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by JK Rowling.